About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Hopey dont play that game

    Easily the least gay twitter ever.

  • memzilla

    Nice one, J-Berg, can’t tell if this comment is more racist or more homophobic.
    How the words mirror the man.

  • Gopherit

    I never once thought Goldberg was turned on by women.

  • AllHat

    One might infer then, Jonah, that you do NOT like that sort of thing. Is this correct? Please say more.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Aww…Jonah’s discovering girls. Next he’ll be borrowing the car and selling Mom’s Rolex for meth.

  • bitchincamaro

    Neither Sasha nor Malia would ever even look at that bloated pantywaste.

  • the problem child

    Clearly the kind of thing his likes involves little girls and big dogs.

  • tbogg

    Shorter Jonah:

    Fap. [lights up cigarette]

  • SmutBoffin

    IMAGES OF ATTRACTIVE FEMALES ARE RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS, SINCE I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL. GOLDBERG OUT.

  • JMP

    Discovering that Jo-Go does not “like that sort of thing”, America’s brown women have just simultaneously made a huge sigh of relief.

  • Xenopus

    Wait, is he saying he’s not into brown daughters or the Brown daughters? Either way, I’m going to go vomit now.

  • Way Cool Larry

    Personally, I’ve always been attracted to brown women– Indians, Pakistanis, etc are hot!

  • freakishlystrong

    I wonder how these wacks would feel if his daughters posed nude for Playb..oh, wait, nevermind. IOKIYATB…

  • dum librul

    In unrelated news, the Secret Service detail for Sasha and Malia has just been tripled.

  • El Pinche

    I guess he means women not riddled with stretch marks and massive clusters of questionable butt pimples.

  • norbizness

    Wow, third-hand Doughy Pantload. What a coup.

  • dum librul

    [re=497811]bitchincamaro[/re]: Damn you.

  • Fred of Arkansas

    Careful. Thomas Jefferson thought the same thing.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Do Republican women really like this? I mean, standing up on stage and being proclaimed to the world as “available” by one’s own father, and being the buzz of the internets the following day as fat ugly men declare that you are “easy on the eyes?” I guess I don’t understand republican women at all.

  • snideinplainsight

    Why would he possibly issue such a tweet? What could he possibly been hoping we would infer from that? I need some guidance here – not ‘getting it’.

  • El Pinche

    [re=497813]tbogg[/re]: Fap.. as in a single teeny tiny fap that sounds like a wet vermicelli noodle

  • progressiveinga

    “Paging Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator……..”

  • El Pinche

    [re=497832]progressiveinga[/re]: Jonah always goes for that sweet tea.

  • magic titty

    Jonah is the type of dude who you can hear beating off in the apt. next door. There is a lot of shouting and growling. And afterwards lots of typing about how someone’s daughters are hot.

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=497824]El Pinche[/re]: and I assume here you refer to K-Lo…

  • SmutBoffin

    [re=497829]Roscoe[/re]: Didn’t McCain do this at a biker rally, too? Republicans are not past the whole “wives and children as property*” thing.

    * This is what they call “traditional marriage”.

  • tiny mexican

    How much do you want to bet he’s photoshopping their heads onto pictures of Six from Battlestar Galactica… eeesh.

  • jodyleek

    [re=497836]magic titty[/re]: Shouting and growling by his abductee you mean?

  • JMP

    [re=497829]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Some sort of masochism has to be necessary to subscribe to a political philosophy that views you as useless and undeserving of full human rights by simple virtue of your sex. (See also: Log Cabin Republicans).

  • proudgrampa

    Some of my best friends are brown women.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    I’m trying to avoid at all costs hearing Monica Crowly or Laura Ingram have on-air organisms about pick-up truck Brown. Guess no McLaughlin this week.

  • El Pinche

    [re=497837]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Yeah, j-lo and various street trannies

  • imissopus

    Somewhere, Megs McCain weeps.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=497838]SmutBoffin[/re]: [re=497842]JMP[/re]:

    Pound for pound, Scott’s daughters seem to be a better bargain than his mule.

    I think I’m beginning to understand now.

  • comicbookguy

    I want to know who are the 3 people who thought this was important enough to retweet.

  • NoWireHangers

    If you like that sort of thing

    ?

    “That sort of thing” meaning sex? Women? Wee erections? Sexual attraction of any kind?

    These are things of which Goldberg is void. VOID.

  • TVarmy

    Did he just acknowledge that most republicans are closet cases?

  • S.Luggo

    So, wifie Jessica is suddenly beginnig to look a little long in the tooth, eh Jonah?
    You shouldn’t have married her after ovaries dried out.

    The Brown girls, on the other hand, strong like ox. Can have many fine childrens.

  • Native of SL UT

    Who cares if they’re hot, can they tweet?

  • Mr Blifil

    If you don’t like that sort of thing, call fat fuck Ricky Warren and he’ll straighten that shit right out, Jonah.

    I mean I realize you need an excuse with staying power to fend off K-Lo’s proposals of Jeebusmarriage, but if you aren’t careful you’ll cross the line from which there is no return and turn purple like your brother. No, I mean ALL of you, not the part that’s always purple…

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    Thanks for sharing, Goldberg. Once again, you demonstrate your matchless brilliance and depth of insight.

  • doxastic

    Since Brown’s into that whole tit-for-tat social media thing, we should be hearing a sexually-charged tweet about Lucianne soon.

    And now I’ve got to bleach my brain.

  • Prommie

    [re=497860]S.Luggo[/re]: Is not teeth, is vahzheen, now it hang like sleeve of wizard.

  • Katydid

    [re=497829]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: [re=497842]JMP[/re]: “Do Republican women really like this? I mean, standing up on stage and being proclaimed to the world as “available” by one’s own father…”

    Liberal parents don’t do that. My ex is so protective of our 16-year-old daughter that he’s got the intimidate-the-new-date routine down to a science, wherein he flashes a smile that does not quite reach his eyes while shaking their hands for just a few seconds too long, conveying a message that clearly means, “Hurt my daughter and I will hunt you down and make you suffer until you pray for sweet death. Welcome to my home.”

    Yeah. So putting our kid on e-Bay or Craig’s List is out of the question. Shame, ’cause she’s beautiful, and I could use the money.

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=497847]El Pinche[/re]: K-Lo…as in the immortal Kathryn Jean Lopez- http://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/klo.jpg

  • dijetlo

    [re=497821]Way Cool Larry[/re]: All women are hot.
    What’s disturbing is Momma Goldbergs boy is apparently figuring this out.
    We all know where that leads, don’t we?
    I think we should take up a collection and have him fixed before this gets out of hand.
    For the sake of the children. And the troops…also.

  • doxastic

    K-Lo disagrees. A real conservative would have said “Those Brown girls have ample wombs” and omitted the second sentence entirely, lest he be mistaken for a moral relativist.

  • El Pinche

    [re=497846]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Watching those to heinous horror hags have orgasms would be as gross as watching Jonah shoot his wad. jesus fucking christ, this thread is hitting rock bottom.

  • El Pinche

    [re=497886]mookworthjwilson[/re]: I meant Meatloaf look-alike K-lo. J-lo’s ass is a national treasure.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=497829]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Republican women regard such behavior as “incorrigible” and “funny,” which serves to distance them from the discomfort that such episodes cause them, as they become unconsciously aware of the degree to which they are wholly and entirely dependent for their every need on piggish drunks. Slaves recognize early on that celebrating their captivity is a possible way of avoiding the lash, though in actual practice that strategy doesn’t always work in their favor.

    My theory is that a lot of these women grew up with brothers in homes where knockabout play was the norm, and so they got used to a certain testosterone saturation level the way you get used to air conditioned interiors if you move to someplace in the desert, like Pheonix.

  • Extemporanus

    Not that there’s anything right with that…

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    Yes, Jonah, we love numb eyes.

  • friendlynerd

    [re=497829]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: They’re just baby machines. Until you view them as such you just won’t get it.

  • Katydid

    [re=497846]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: If Laura Ingraham had an orgasm, it would be a sign of the second coming. Nah, make that her first coming, and the very last. She would neither recognize, not tolerate, the sensation we humans call “pleasure.” (h/t and apologies to Jon Stewart.)

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=497914]El Pinche[/re]: re: J-Lo’s ass…agreed…

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=497920]Mr Blifil[/re]: So that’s what all the “oh daddy, stop it — you’re embarrassing me!” thing is all about.

  • One Yield Regular

    [re=497829]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Nicely put. And conversely, is this what Republican men (married, with daughters of their own) are really like, twattering to the whole world their attraction to women half their age?

  • Accordion-o-rama

    I believe Mr. Goldberg’s “brown daughters” was a reference to his excreta. And yes, I always figured he’d be into that sort of thing.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Has K-Lo twitted a bitchy, jealous response about J-Go’s wandering eye?

  • AKAM80TheWolf

    [re=497832]progressiveinga[/re]:

    “I’m so excited you’re here, that I’m going to walk into another room …. “