JONAH'S MASSACHUSETTS BONAH  12:04 pm January 20, 2010

No, JONAH GOLDBERG, We Are Not Into Dating Terrorist Muslins

by Jim Newell

We kind of used up our joke in the headline there. Anyway, gross. [Twitter via Instaputz]

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Hopey dont play that game January 20, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Easily the least gay twitter ever.

memzilla January 20, 2010 at 12:08 pm

Nice one, J-Berg, can’t tell if this comment is more racist or more homophobic.
How the words mirror the man.

Gopherit January 20, 2010 at 12:08 pm

I never once thought Goldberg was turned on by women.

AllHat January 20, 2010 at 12:08 pm

One might infer then, Jonah, that you do NOT like that sort of thing. Is this correct? Please say more.

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Aww…Jonah’s discovering girls. Next he’ll be borrowing the car and selling Mom’s Rolex for meth.

bitchincamaro January 20, 2010 at 12:10 pm

Neither Sasha nor Malia would ever even look at that bloated pantywaste.

the problem child January 20, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Clearly the kind of thing his likes involves little girls and big dogs.

tbogg January 20, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Shorter Jonah:

Fap. [lights up cigarette]

SmutBoffin January 20, 2010 at 12:17 pm


JMP January 20, 2010 at 12:17 pm

Discovering that Jo-Go does not “like that sort of thing”, America’s brown women have just simultaneously made a huge sigh of relief.

Xenopus January 20, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Wait, is he saying he’s not into brown daughters or the Brown daughters? Either way, I’m going to go vomit now.

Way Cool Larry January 20, 2010 at 12:20 pm

Personally, I’ve always been attracted to brown women– Indians, Pakistanis, etc are hot!

freakishlystrong January 20, 2010 at 12:20 pm

I wonder how these wacks would feel if his daughters posed nude for Playb..oh, wait, nevermind. IOKIYATB…

dum librul January 20, 2010 at 12:22 pm

In unrelated news, the Secret Service detail for Sasha and Malia has just been tripled.

El Pinche January 20, 2010 at 12:22 pm

I guess he means women not riddled with stretch marks and massive clusters of questionable butt pimples.

norbizness January 20, 2010 at 12:23 pm

Wow, third-hand Doughy Pantload. What a coup.

dum librul January 20, 2010 at 12:24 pm

[re=497811]bitchincamaro[/re]: Damn you.

Fred of Arkansas January 20, 2010 at 12:24 pm

Careful. Thomas Jefferson thought the same thing.

RoscoePColtraine January 20, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Do Republican women really like this? I mean, standing up on stage and being proclaimed to the world as “available” by one’s own father, and being the buzz of the internets the following day as fat ugly men declare that you are “easy on the eyes?” I guess I don’t understand republican women at all.

snideinplainsight January 20, 2010 at 12:26 pm

Why would he possibly issue such a tweet? What could he possibly been hoping we would infer from that? I need some guidance here – not ‘getting it’.

El Pinche January 20, 2010 at 12:26 pm

[re=497813]tbogg[/re]: Fap.. as in a single teeny tiny fap that sounds like a wet vermicelli noodle

progressiveinga January 20, 2010 at 12:26 pm

“Paging Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator……..”

El Pinche January 20, 2010 at 12:28 pm

[re=497832]progressiveinga[/re]: Jonah always goes for that sweet tea.

magic titty January 20, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Jonah is the type of dude who you can hear beating off in the apt. next door. There is a lot of shouting and growling. And afterwards lots of typing about how someone’s daughters are hot.

mookworthjwilson January 20, 2010 at 12:32 pm

[re=497824]El Pinche[/re]: and I assume here you refer to K-Lo…

SmutBoffin January 20, 2010 at 12:33 pm

[re=497829]Roscoe[/re]: Didn’t McCain do this at a biker rally, too? Republicans are not past the whole “wives and children as property*” thing.

* This is what they call “traditional marriage”.

tiny mexican January 20, 2010 at 12:33 pm

How much do you want to bet he’s photoshopping their heads onto pictures of Six from Battlestar Galactica… eeesh.

jodyleek January 20, 2010 at 12:36 pm

[re=497836]magic titty[/re]: Shouting and growling by his abductee you mean?

JMP January 20, 2010 at 12:37 pm

[re=497829]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Some sort of masochism has to be necessary to subscribe to a political philosophy that views you as useless and undeserving of full human rights by simple virtue of your sex. (See also: Log Cabin Republicans).

proudgrampa January 20, 2010 at 12:38 pm

Some of my best friends are brown women.

Manos: Hands of Fate January 20, 2010 at 12:40 pm

I’m trying to avoid at all costs hearing Monica Crowly or Laura Ingram have on-air organisms about pick-up truck Brown. Guess no McLaughlin this week.

El Pinche January 20, 2010 at 12:40 pm

[re=497837]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Yeah, j-lo and various street trannies

imissopus January 20, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Somewhere, Megs McCain weeps.

RoscoePColtraine January 20, 2010 at 12:44 pm

[re=497838]SmutBoffin[/re]: [re=497842]JMP[/re]:

Pound for pound, Scott’s daughters seem to be a better bargain than his mule.

I think I’m beginning to understand now.

comicbookguy January 20, 2010 at 12:45 pm

I want to know who are the 3 people who thought this was important enough to retweet.

NoWireHangers January 20, 2010 at 12:52 pm

If you like that sort of thing


“That sort of thing” meaning sex? Women? Wee erections? Sexual attraction of any kind?

These are things of which Goldberg is void. VOID.

TVarmy January 20, 2010 at 12:58 pm

Did he just acknowledge that most republicans are closet cases?

S.Luggo January 20, 2010 at 1:00 pm

So, wifie Jessica is suddenly beginnig to look a little long in the tooth, eh Jonah?
You shouldn’t have married her after ovaries dried out.

The Brown girls, on the other hand, strong like ox. Can have many fine childrens.

Native of SL UT January 20, 2010 at 1:02 pm

Who cares if they’re hot, can they tweet?

Mr Blifil January 20, 2010 at 1:08 pm

If you don’t like that sort of thing, call fat fuck Ricky Warren and he’ll straighten that shit right out, Jonah.

I mean I realize you need an excuse with staying power to fend off K-Lo’s proposals of Jeebusmarriage, but if you aren’t careful you’ll cross the line from which there is no return and turn purple like your brother. No, I mean ALL of you, not the part that’s always purple…

Anonymous Office Zombie January 20, 2010 at 1:11 pm

Thanks for sharing, Goldberg. Once again, you demonstrate your matchless brilliance and depth of insight.

doxastic January 20, 2010 at 1:13 pm

Since Brown’s into that whole tit-for-tat social media thing, we should be hearing a sexually-charged tweet about Lucianne soon.

And now I’ve got to bleach my brain.

Prommie January 20, 2010 at 1:14 pm

[re=497860]S.Luggo[/re]: Is not teeth, is vahzheen, now it hang like sleeve of wizard.

Katydid January 20, 2010 at 1:14 pm

[re=497829]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: [re=497842]JMP[/re]: “Do Republican women really like this? I mean, standing up on stage and being proclaimed to the world as “available” by one’s own father…”

Liberal parents don’t do that. My ex is so protective of our 16-year-old daughter that he’s got the intimidate-the-new-date routine down to a science, wherein he flashes a smile that does not quite reach his eyes while shaking their hands for just a few seconds too long, conveying a message that clearly means, “Hurt my daughter and I will hunt you down and make you suffer until you pray for sweet death. Welcome to my home.”

Yeah. So putting our kid on e-Bay or Craig’s List is out of the question. Shame, ’cause she’s beautiful, and I could use the money.

mookworthjwilson January 20, 2010 at 1:15 pm

[re=497847]El Pinche[/re]: K-Lo…as in the immortal Kathryn Jean Lopez-

dijetlo January 20, 2010 at 1:17 pm

[re=497821]Way Cool Larry[/re]: All women are hot.
What’s disturbing is Momma Goldbergs boy is apparently figuring this out.
We all know where that leads, don’t we?
I think we should take up a collection and have him fixed before this gets out of hand.
For the sake of the children. And the troops…also.

doxastic January 20, 2010 at 1:25 pm

K-Lo disagrees. A real conservative would have said “Those Brown girls have ample wombs” and omitted the second sentence entirely, lest he be mistaken for a moral relativist.

El Pinche January 20, 2010 at 1:31 pm

[re=497846]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Watching those to heinous horror hags have orgasms would be as gross as watching Jonah shoot his wad. jesus fucking christ, this thread is hitting rock bottom.

El Pinche January 20, 2010 at 1:32 pm

[re=497886]mookworthjwilson[/re]: I meant Meatloaf look-alike K-lo. J-lo’s ass is a national treasure.

Mr Blifil January 20, 2010 at 1:37 pm

[re=497829]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Republican women regard such behavior as “incorrigible” and “funny,” which serves to distance them from the discomfort that such episodes cause them, as they become unconsciously aware of the degree to which they are wholly and entirely dependent for their every need on piggish drunks. Slaves recognize early on that celebrating their captivity is a possible way of avoiding the lash, though in actual practice that strategy doesn’t always work in their favor.

My theory is that a lot of these women grew up with brothers in homes where knockabout play was the norm, and so they got used to a certain testosterone saturation level the way you get used to air conditioned interiors if you move to someplace in the desert, like Pheonix.

Extemporanus January 20, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Not that there’s anything right with that…

lawrenceofthedesert January 20, 2010 at 1:44 pm

Yes, Jonah, we love numb eyes.

friendlynerd January 20, 2010 at 1:45 pm

[re=497829]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: They’re just baby machines. Until you view them as such you just won’t get it.

Katydid January 20, 2010 at 2:00 pm

[re=497846]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: If Laura Ingraham had an orgasm, it would be a sign of the second coming. Nah, make that her first coming, and the very last. She would neither recognize, not tolerate, the sensation we humans call “pleasure.” (h/t and apologies to Jon Stewart.)

mookworthjwilson January 20, 2010 at 2:04 pm

[re=497914]El Pinche[/re]: re: J-Lo’s ass…agreed…

RoscoePColtraine January 20, 2010 at 2:10 pm

[re=497920]Mr Blifil[/re]: So that’s what all the “oh daddy, stop it — you’re embarrassing me!” thing is all about.

One Yield Regular January 20, 2010 at 2:38 pm

[re=497829]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Nicely put. And conversely, is this what Republican men (married, with daughters of their own) are really like, twattering to the whole world their attraction to women half their age?

Accordion-o-rama January 20, 2010 at 3:56 pm

I believe Mr. Goldberg’s “brown daughters” was a reference to his excreta. And yes, I always figured he’d be into that sort of thing.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 20, 2010 at 4:03 pm

Has K-Lo twitted a bitchy, jealous response about J-Go’s wandering eye?

AKAM80TheWolf January 20, 2010 at 11:55 pm


“I’m so excited you’re here, that I’m going to walk into another room …. “

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