Hello, or “#avatar” to those of you playing along on Twitter, and welcome to the second half of this Senate race liveblog (“Ted Kennedy’s denouement”). Please see here, for the first part of the liveblog, and Twitter, for Twitter.
8:41 PM: Judging by CNN’s visual exclusives, Haiti looks nothing like Massachusetts.
8:43 PM: Bill O’Reilly has a few of his wives on the Bill O’Reilly program tonight.
8:44 PM: Why did neither of them tell him to leave that tie at home?
8:45 PM: Wolf Blitzer has personally counted half a million votes. He has Scott Brown winning, 52% to 47%, or about 28,000 votes personally counted and checked off by Wolf Blitzer, lupine newsman.
8:47 PM: MSNBC shipping in a British person, for gravitas. According to his namebox, he calls himself “Breaking News.”
8:48 PM: “Politics is about debate. Republicans has to stake out a position and not just force Democrats to impose the supermajority.” This is how Parliament works.
8:49 PM: Official Wonkette Teevee Proprietor points out that this British person is the original victim of the teabaggers. That’s true! He’s Biased.
8:50 PM: Fox has someone wearing John McCain and Bill O’Reilly telling this other lady that health care is dead. She relents. “Probably,” she says, from atop an unexplained bridge.
8:53 PM: Bill O’Reilly tells his two guests to jump in the Charles River and offers to buy the other one a therapist.
8:54 PM: Olbermann has Coakley at 46% and Scott Brown with 52%. There was bad weather today, the meaning of this will be determined after the election.
8:55 PM: PEOPLE IN THIS BAR IN MAYBE BOSTON ARE NOT RESPECTING CHRIS MATTHEWS.
8:56 PM: There is a 12 year old in the bar, behind Chris Matthews. This explains the disrespect. “Some clown on Fox says something, or some people just voted no”: either one of these things can explain the election results.
8:57 PM: This is a kids-only bar.
8:59 PM: “Boy, they lack a government!” Chris Matthews suggests giving Martha Coakley to Haiti.
9:00 PM: Rachel Maddow is in Boston, in a traditional 21+ bar. 52% of precincts reporting, Scott Brown is winning—this is not counting the Haitian precincts.
9:01 PM: Some intern is getting extra college credit for this “BAY [STATE] WATCH” graphic.
9:02 PM: Joe Kennedy lost because he is a robot. People don’t relate to robots.
9:03 PM: Rachel Maddow with the “hard data.” “In 2006, that was a real election. Not that this one isn’t real…” Anyway, as many people turned up for the actual election as they did this, the also-real one.
9:05 PM: The Scott Brown people are happier, according to this person who is there with them, than the Martha Coakley people, who are located elsewhere. She talked to some Democrat who dislikes Martha Coakley, who blames Martha Coakley. She pretends to be stunned by this.
9:06 PM: Martha Coakley went to the Caribbean instead of campaign. This is why there was an earthquake, is the point of this.
9:08 PM: Coakley should connect with women, through their Avatar tails.
9:10 PM: Someone found Howard Dean stuck between the pages of some dusty encyclopedia, pictured behind him.
9:12 PM: People like to blame each other when things go wrong, that’s one of Rachel Maddow’s “hard datum.”
9:13 PM: Howard Dean: “People who blame others are losers.” Well, yes, this is because winners aren’t forced to BLAME anyone (?).
9:15 PM: Someone on Fox just said “Scott Brown rode a wave and didn’t fall off the surf board.” Zeitgeist-y metaphor.
9:17 PM: Fox creates a Scott Brown Victory Myth in reverse: Scott Brown is a wake-up call to the rest of America. Scott Brown is LITERALLY morning wood.
9:18 PM: Fox rounded up all members of Scott Brown’s immediate family and is asking them their medical history. This is so weird! One of them had a “bill shoved down [his] throat.”
9:20 PM: “I just lost my health insurance,” Scott Brown’s twentysomething cousin tells the beaded Fox Anchor. OMG such a starfucker.
9:22 PM: This random human wants Medicare for his bowtie.
9:22 PM: IT’S ALL OVER: MARTHA COAKLEY IS GOING BACK TO PANDORA.
9:23 PM: AP’s like, “Yup.”
9:24 PM: This is a referendum on Massachusetts, according to some Rachel Maddow guest. The people have voted “No” to Massachusetts. The teabaggers or the British or whatever can have it.
9:26 PM: Ted Kennedy has re-died.
9:28 PM: The Chris Matthews’ kids bar is America’s new health care system, he warns.
9:29 PM: Scott Brown’s hired brunette looks bored, in her shimmying. Scott Brown will “upgrade” later anyway.
9:31 PM: Chris Matthews on Scott Brown: “He is attractive, physically, I guess that always helps.”
9:33 PM: Chris Matthews: “You know in college, the same people run every year for student council president? And then junior year, some nerd comes along and beats them?”
9:36 PM: Howard Dean is saying… things… he is likely reciting something he memorized, for fun, in one of the hardback books he’s fondling.
9:36 PM: Where is Scott Brown? And, more importantly/relatedly, where is Dancey Stage Brunette?
9:37 PM: Rachel Maddow is taking a break and so is your Wonkette. Anderson Cooper is currently rescuing Ken Layne from Twitter, so check back for a Third Liveblog whenever that ends.
GIVE US MONEY! -