Children, wenches: thou canst breathe. Chief wordsmith of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, the regal majestic and most comely Madame Queen Peggington Noonington, hath Christened and Blessed thine conservative dauphin, Scottington the Nude. This Nude Man. For only He, this sterling griffin of Man, possesseth the Royal Strength to constructeth thine Third Reich of Massachusetts Bay Colony Republicans.
Firstington, there wereth the White Male Republicans, the “Brahmans.” These men were rich, monied. They owned many things. They died. They were mortal. They were humans.
We are Humans.
Secondingtonshire, there came to be the next Reich: the White Male Republicans. Saucy. ROBUST! RIGOROUS! Catholic. Reagan. They lovedeth Ronald Reagan and Catholicism. They stoodeth in Defiance to the Africkan.
Thine Third Reich of Republicans, founded up the rock of this Nude Human, shall be called the White Male Republicans. They are American. They look it. They appeareth like Americans. Ahh, these creatures! These Men!
These Humans.
See, Americans Look Like This… [The Awl]
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And lo! I shall not suffer thee to annoy our fair browser with this lengthy video-news-pamphlet. I clicketh not.
Did you know that Peggy Noonan was a speechwriter for Reagan?
Uhh, Jim? I think you’re violating Fair Use, there.
Nooningtonne being brought back on the television and the internets to comment on politics is like your local almost-broke fishwrap running “Classic Peanuts” on the front of its comics page.
It meant something once, before all the alcohol and lies.
Peggy needs some deep-dicking with a golden dildo, stat.
Translation: she soooo wants to bonk him!
MIKE BARNICLE: A naked and wet Scott Brown handed me a towel in the locker room once after we took a shower together naked because we are real men who like to look at other men’s naked wet cocks in locker rooms where it is totally OK and expected if you are a Real American man from Massachusetts. Martha Coakley, on the other hand, is a frigid cunt. *fart*
PEGGY NOONAN: Haugh-haugh-haugh-haugh! *queef*
I get Peggy Noonington and Sally Quinn mixed up. They’re both old white ladies with a ton of attitude who get published in major newspapers, I think because newspapers have no money these days and they’ll work for free.
So….Mass. Republicans are evolving into douchebag pretty-boys? Was that her point?
[re=497110]AxmxZ[/re]: a diamond encrusted dildo, you mean…
Good morning Wonkette!
As I am communicating with you from The Future (Wed, 20 January 2010 AD), I can revel to you the results of your Confederation’s Mass. Hysteria election – behold, quickly!
It’s worth losing MA just to see that “aw, fuck” look on Barnacle’s usually-smug face.
Lo, the long disenfranchisement of white middle-aged middle-class dudes in suits is over. Free at last! Thank God, free at last!
By the way, is it true that a Downy® Douche gives your vaginal walls an “April Fresh” softness?
That look on her face above is almost enough to compel me to click “play” just to get that fucking smug bitch out of my eyeballs, but I know that the addition of her voice would really drive me to suicide. Maybe that’s what happened to them Arab fellers in Gitmo. Has anyone looked into Peggington’s whereabouts that night?
Does she use that dialect all the time, or only when she wants to?
[re=497131]Extemporanus[/re]: Yes, but only after you apply Jet-Dri® to it…
Aaah, yes, Scott Brown is the quintessential American alpha male, created out of the wet lusty pen of Ayn Rand, an American male who shows a treasure trail that Dame Peggy wants to skip down to the promised land of not a pink peen. A kenyan muslin Hawaiian peen is fine for Fridays when one can only eat fish, as those of a Catholic mindset must do, but not for the other days of the week when one craves all-American white flesh.
Empress Noonington very much reminds me of the old SNL faux commercial for transdermal meth·a·qua·lone. Sure do wish we had some now. [everybody laughs]
While encapsulating, in such vainglorious maudlin tones, the recent history of the Reagun Party, her right middle finger orbits wistfully on her estrogen-depleted, withered homologous organ, visions of Scotties’ nether regions dancing about her crowned head.
[re=497141]bfstevie[/re]: You know what’s funny, is that they make a
transdermal Ritalin patch now.
I basically owe my progress in college so far to that thing.
Thou doth not heareth o’er Sir Mellencampington…
Translation: I don’t hear you. I don’t hear you. I don’t hear you. I got my eyes closed.
But the citizenry of the commonwealth doth dote on the French- & Kenyan-appearing elect men!
Verily, she hath placed Sir Schlong in the same class as Ye Former Foole of Shrubbery, to-wit: a gift from the Almighty.
Lord what twats these morsels be.
God, I re-read it about once a week, and it’s just so much funnier than anything else I can imagine: http://wonkette.com/275831/peggy-noonan-saw-a-mexican
[re=497169]FlownOver[/re]: Ah, very nice.
[re=497172]Jim Newell[/re]: That does hearten us each other. Or something.
May Peggy live a thousand years.
At least Peggy got the evolution of the Republican Candidate down: From Ronald (choir of angels) Reagan to manly men who look like Reagan to working-class Reagan Democrats to people who look just like a regular guy — or Mitt Romney or Ronald Reagan. Verily, they encompass worlds.
[re=497172]Jim Newell[/re]: Only five or so comments though!?
[re=497159]Simba B[/re]: Please sir/and or madam, may I have some?
[re=497179]chascates[/re]: You mean she hasn’t already? Jeez, the years have not been kind to her.
I like how she says, “Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.” Like each word is it’s own sentence. Other than that, what the f’in A is she talking about? A new style Republican Democratic Republican? Brahmin reinventing himself/striving to be middle-class? WTF?
So, who gets to be the Lucky Pierre when Donny Deutsch & Mike Barnicle rendezvous with Scotty in a Logan Airport men’s room?
[re=497182]Radiotherapy[/re]: The Pre-Independent Wonkette comments have disappeared — those are from after Ken bought it. I’m sure the others are cached somewhere, what with nothing really disappearing in cyberspace.
“NOONAN: He (Brown) is a regular guy, looks like an American, from the middle or self-made into an upper middle class guy. [Tough tittys, Bobby Jindal. How will Vishnu help you now?] We’re seeing some evolution of what Republicans in Massachusetts are right now.”
Pegster just used a dirty word: evolution.
When she dreams of America, she sees Brown’s penile member evolving into a tumid cylinder of man meat.
[re=497201]NotthatLC[/re]: When she talks about Republicans “evolving”, I assume she means losing their vestigial tails.
can someone please explain her? for the life of me, i do not understand her prominence at the commentariat table. her delivery alone makes me want to throttle her; and then you key in on what she’s saying … oy.
[re=497214]WadISay[/re]: They aren’t vestigial. And they match the cloven hooves.
[re=497208]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Thanks, a little cyber-history is helpful. And I’ve always thought of myself as “independent” to some degree.
[re=497219]S.Luggo[/re]: Actually, Peggy should get with the program. Republicans don’t believe they “evolve” at all. God creates them anew each morn.
It’s all soft focus when you’re covering the Valley of the Dolls beat. And ’tain’t easy when you’re a Peggy trying to be a Mopsy, Muffy or Dibbs (“born to a minor” is so close to “born to the manor”).
Scotte hath bewitched her with his Browne eye.
Well, yeah, because isn’t whipping one’s pants off for the cameras the most American thing a creature can do?
I’m in Germany and can’t record the MSNBC stream.
I’m looking for video of the Erin Burnett/Donny Deutsch exchange from this same show that at 8:35 AM that had this bit of sociopathy:
Donny Deutsch: What would it hurt if the the big banks, the Morgan Stanley’s, Goldman Sachs, Citi Group, gave up some of that bonus money, say 10% to 20% to Haiti?
Erin Burnett: (waves arms excitedly in front of camera in a STOP! motion, raises voice, YELLS at DEUTSCH):
Donny! Donny!! Donny!!!
STOP!
Wait!! Wait!
What would **THOSE** people DO with THAT money!?!1!?!
For the record:
GDP Haiti: $7 billion dollars, 10 million people
Goldman Bonuses: $20 Billion dollars, 31,700 Banksters
Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah
Barnacle… a salty crustacean living off the scum at the bottom of a old, worn out rusted ass boat.
How much do the banks pay this jack-off for lobbying their views?
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