Hey Here’s A Bunch Of Links About Massachusetts!

by Jim Newell

  • Aww, Michael Steele and his minions weren’t allowed to do stuff in Massachusetts. So Michael Steele is just pretending that he is a secret agent pulling the strings behind closed doors. This should keep him distracted for another few hours. [Politico]
  • HEY, HARVARD COMMIES: If you go to vote for the robot lady, but Scott Brown’s already been filled in on your ballot, ask for a new ballot. Don’t try to be a hero. Stupid Harvard. [The Plum Line]
  • More Michael Steele! He said this today: “You’re mixing an apple and orange here.” Context is for squares. [CBS]
  • Martha Coakley’s sucking has officially given Barack Obama a sad. [WSJ]
  • Talking Points Memo is harassing some old people with those kinds of questions they always ask: “We’ve been talking to the Senate historian, Massachusetts secretary of state’s office, and others who are in the know trying to figure out when and under what circumstances…” Eh, bored. [TPM]
  • The naked motherfucker is riding around in his truck. [WSJ]
  • Lawyers, everywhere. Just cold preppin’ for an extended legal battle. [ABC News]
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Hola wonkerados.

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Aflac Shrugged January 19, 2010 at 4:40 pm

With any luck, Scott Brown will also have time for a lengthy career as a writer-performer on SNL before he’s seated in the Senate.

Joshua Norton January 19, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Are minions those dried things you put on green bean casserole?

Hooray For Anything January 19, 2010 at 4:44 pm

What? No mention of ACORN? I thought they’d be out in the Boston ‘burbs beating up old ladies on their way to the voting booth by now.

Nigerian Business Executive January 19, 2010 at 4:44 pm

Is Riley still alive? Did he and Levi Johnston finally run off together? Was he forced out of political blogging for calling someone a cracker? What happened to Riley?

germansteel January 19, 2010 at 4:45 pm

Massachusetts. Isn’t that the state where that guy came from – you know who I’m thinking of – his name escapes me – he couldn’t beat George W. Bush in an election, I think it was 2004? This Coakley deal reminds me of that dumbshit.

TGY January 19, 2010 at 4:45 pm

Is it true that Harvard is the Texas A&M of the east?

HedonismBot January 19, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Maybe we’ll get lucky, and the winner of the Massachusetts election will have to be determined after an extended recount process and several court rulings. This way, the Dems can hold onto their 60-vote “majority” at least until after the November elections.
Or, maybe we’ll get lucky and Obama and the Democrats in Congress will grow a spine and shove the 60-vote rule up Mitch McConnell’s butt with a curling iron.
But option 2 seems fairly unlikely.
It is sad to think a lengthy recount process is about the best libtards can hope for right now.

Digdig January 19, 2010 at 4:50 pm

Hey, MY Wonkette, where the hell is our election night drinking game. We finally have an election in our fair Commonwealth that somebody cares about, and we don’t get our own game? Granted, it looks like we are going to totally fuck it up, but the more reason to drink ourselves stupid. Just got my vote in for Cockley (had to hold my nose) and now its on to the hard cider. Maybe if I drink enough I can just wake up in three years when Teddys seat would have been up and we can vote one of Mitt Romulans kids in to the seat.

JMP January 19, 2010 at 4:51 pm

Whatever happens, we’ll be lucky because it should be over soon. Having this treated as the most important Senate election ever, just because there’s no other elections going on right now, has gotten really tiresome.

Tommmcatt January 19, 2010 at 4:51 pm

Look, after the crap Al Frankin went through to get seated, if Brown wins he should have to crawl through Rush Limbaugh’s large intestine just to be allowed to step foot in the first hearing on Coakley’s challenge of the result..

Because I said so.

Texan Bulldoggette January 19, 2010 at 4:52 pm

I think the recount lawyers can go home. Unless someone videotapes Cosmo Brown stomping on a nun’s face, he looks like a sure thing. And is it too early to say that Teddy is rolling in his grave? (How long do you have to be dead to get to roll?)

SayItWithWookies January 19, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Massachusetts, please take the rest of the month off after today. Go somewhere warm and sunny and stay out of the goddamn news. You can come back when my head stops hurting.

Joshua Norton January 19, 2010 at 4:53 pm

[re=497066]Digdig[/re]: Here’s an election drinking game for you. Drink enough to go back in time and nominate a different person.

Extemporanus January 19, 2010 at 4:53 pm

Another day, another state dead to me.

Prommie January 19, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Motherfuckers, its over.

proudgrampa January 19, 2010 at 5:05 pm

[re=497067]JMP[/re]: Hear, hear. Now we can look forward to the BS coming up in the next 10 months for the mid-term elections. Those dems are gonna do us proud, not!

Oldskool January 19, 2010 at 5:08 pm

Dems. When playing nice doesn’t work they’re utterly lost. As much as I despise the party of bullies, they understand that being ruthless is one way to get things done.

chascates January 19, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Massachusetts people: what are the odds of a recount? How close would it have to be?

Nerdalicious January 19, 2010 at 5:11 pm

“Look, after the crap Al Frankin went through to get seated, if Brown wins he should have to crawl through Rush Limbaugh’s large intestine”
:). Yep, & attend a teabagger town hall every night for 1 year & be the subject of Barney Frank one liners about Cosmo & trucks.
PS: call me naive, do you think it’s really ovah? The turnout has been high, which fares well for Ms. Robot.

tootsieroll January 19, 2010 at 5:11 pm

Well, everyone I work with— in health care, is voting for Martha. It’s the fucking tea baggers fault. No one knew who the fuck Scott Brown was until Red State and Hannity started getting them to give money and slam discussion forums.

bureaucrap January 19, 2010 at 5:13 pm

I’m feeling modestly confident. Scott Brown can go back to his day job modeling galoshes for women’s wear daily.

Snuggies January 19, 2010 at 5:14 pm

Maybe we’ll learn when we’re forced to have a crucifix and an American flag on our front lawns, and Madam Palin is cold breast feedin her new baby Troll live on CSPAN.

Digdig January 19, 2010 at 5:15 pm

[re=497067]JMP[/re]: Uhh.., this could take away the Senate majority that the Dems haven’t had the balls to use yet, thank you Harry Reid.

Hooray For Anything January 19, 2010 at 5:18 pm

[re=497082]proudgrampa[/re]: I’m sure there’s a special election for an assistant comptroller position somewhere in a blue/purple state that the press can turn into some sort of referendum on Obama.

Digdig January 19, 2010 at 5:19 pm

[re=497060]germansteel[/re]: Coakley is a little less of a dynamic speaker, without the grasp of policy has, and I’m not sure she owns a sailboard.

SayItWithWookies January 19, 2010 at 5:19 pm

Oh, hey — it looks like the guy who did the Politico poll showing Brown up by nine points is an ex-Gingrich aide. And not just any old aide — he calls him a good friend and said Newt was “the brightest mind in the modern Republican Party and the modern history of the Republican Party.” So take that, Abraham Lincoln, you pussy.

comicbookguy January 19, 2010 at 5:20 pm

You misspelled Massachussettes. Thank you.

Jim89048 January 19, 2010 at 5:24 pm

Last I checked, 59/41 was still a pretty subsantial majority. That’s significantly more than the shrub ever had, and he got to do everything he set out to do. WTF, Dems?

S.Luggo January 19, 2010 at 5:25 pm

“And so the idea that you’ll have an election, a special election, to fill a seat and that individual’s elected and if it’s not of the party you want him to be, then you’ re going to go ram through the process or change the rules — that, again, is an unseemly thing for them to do in Washington. But it’s so typical of what we’ve seen over the past year.”

Almost Proust.

ella January 19, 2010 at 5:29 pm

“You’re mixing an apple and orange here.”

Add chopped Walnuts and we have a salad.

chascates January 19, 2010 at 5:29 pm

MA Senate Race: here’s hoping Mr. Brown goes to Washington…in a pick-up truck,no less!MA pls vote tomrrw & elect a hardworking independent
about 20 hours ago from web


Nerdalicious January 19, 2010 at 5:36 pm

“hardworking independent”
ha! Yes, & Mr. Brown went to college at West Korea State University in the country of Africa.

Jim Newell January 19, 2010 at 5:40 pm

[re=497114]Jim89048[/re]: Oh people are always saying this. George Bush got everything he wanted very easily when it came to War and Terror and Spying — just like Barack Obama still does. His two most desired domestic reforms — immigration and social security — died miserably.

thesheriffisnear January 19, 2010 at 5:51 pm

I just voted for that FUCKER Coakley but I sure didn’t like it.

thesheriffisnear January 19, 2010 at 5:52 pm

[re=497056]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: Today, we are ALL Fuckers!!!

thesheriffisnear January 19, 2010 at 5:54 pm

[re=497078]Prommie[/re]: The bad news, lots of Brown signs on the suburban lawns. The good news, relatively, is that turn out, from what I can see, is crushing but don’t hold your breath.

Tommmcatt January 19, 2010 at 5:58 pm


I think this whole thing is the media whipping up a storm over nothing. I may be wrong, but we’ll see, won’t we?

Nigerian Business Executive January 19, 2010 at 6:33 pm

[re=497155]thesheriffisnear[/re]: I’m confused by the non-sequiturial nature of your reply, but I will respond by stating my hope that we are all fuckers every day, not just today.

dave666 January 19, 2010 at 7:43 pm

[re=497155]thesheriffisnear[/re]: I am intrigued by your ideas, may I subscribe to your newsletter?

JMP January 19, 2010 at 7:54 pm

[re=497098]Digdig[/re]: Last time I checked, 59>41; so no, but the problem is, yeah, the balless, won’t-do-anything-with-the-majority part; but that’ll still be with the Senate Dems either way.

Up To Here Again January 19, 2010 at 8:26 pm

So, let’s see.
Losing is:
Not so bad; a shot in the arm; a mild heart attack;
or this:
Just what Obama needs to get things going again. Quoi?

winning is . . .?
Perpetual status quo,
the majority that never succeeds at anything.

Well, we have an agenda for you,
whatever party stripe you wear:
Health Care reform
Banking reform and regulation
Tax reform
Ending wars
Rebuilding cities and infrastructue
Reduction of carbon emission
Sustainable Fuels
Raise wages and lower inflation
Reestablish our market economy
Reestablish manufacturing

If you are against most of this,
we know what party you belong to.

The trolls got so much wood tonight
the saliva is escaping their quivering lips.

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