POLLING PIXXX  10:51 am January 19, 2010

by Jim Newell

Election day pixx posts are great thingsSEND SEXY ELECTION DAY PICS TO YOUR WONKETTE, YOU “MASSHOLES”: Considering how gay and Maoist you people are, a sizable chunk of you probably live in Massachusetts, the site of today’s exciting political election between a poorly programmed Democratic robot and the naked person. What a great opportunity to help your Wonkette! If you are rich and own a camera, please take some photos of whatever stupid things you you might see today at rallies, polling stations, liquor stores, etc. and send to tips@wonkette.com. Or just send text reports for the few literate readers. Don’t worry if you think your material is weak! As we like to say at Wonkette, “It doesn’t have to be good.”

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Ducksworthy January 19, 2010 at 10:55 am

What’s the opposite of an oxymoron? What’s “few literate readers” supposed to mean? Are the illiterate readers? Or what do you call people who only come here for the pictures?

Jerk Cade January 19, 2010 at 10:57 am

And while you’re at it, stop driving in the breakdown lane!

dave666 January 19, 2010 at 10:58 am

needs more snark

TGY January 19, 2010 at 11:00 am

[re=496717]Ducksworthy[/re]: Pictures, yes. They pop up if you’ve had enough of a mind-bending substance (Cheetos, for instance).


jrl January 19, 2010 at 11:01 am

It’s a real media hoo-hah, the press are trying
desperately to pretend there might be a real
contest here. And speculating endlessly about
what will happen “if”, mind you, “if that REPUBLICAN
wins”. As far as I can tell, Brown and Coakley are
both empty vacuums that mindlessly parrot the party
line. Same-icrat, no-difflican, I’m voting for Kennedy.
Thought he was dead? No, I mean the candidate that
isn’t in the news! But he’s on the ballot.

Way Cool Larry January 19, 2010 at 11:02 am

Yay, we suck, and we’re proud!

Mr Blifil January 19, 2010 at 11:03 am

Here’s hoping for a NUDE ACCEPTANCE SPEECH!!!

TGY January 19, 2010 at 11:06 am

Newsflash: quake hits Cayman Islands – little damage, but several online casinos were knocked out and a few banks lost some illegal munies!

magic titty January 19, 2010 at 11:08 am

r u accepting cockshots?

germansteel January 19, 2010 at 11:10 am

If Brown wins, I’m afraid it will only encourage that other famous, gone-Hollywood, nekked policy wonk, Levi Johnston, to seek higher office.

Jim Newell January 19, 2010 at 11:12 am

[re=496742]magic titty[/re]: Do we have a choice?

Barrelhse January 19, 2010 at 11:18 am

I just took my daughter over to vote against bigotry, hatred, and greed. I’m in a small, extremely wealthy (except us) town that is mostly Democratic, for some reason. Despite a snowy day the turn-out was high. My take on MA is this: while usually Democrat, the blue collar Dems are also racists, and will probably vote against themselves in order to show that guy in the WH a thing or two. The GOP doesn’t own ignorance, they just show-case it more.

V572625694 January 19, 2010 at 11:18 am

[re=496746]Jim Newell[/re]: Beaver shots? Always welcome too!

Prommie January 19, 2010 at 11:19 am

[re=496726]jrl[/re]: Rand? Is that you?

Diana Davies January 19, 2010 at 11:22 am

[re=496717]Ducksworthy[/re]: Hey, I’m an illiterate reader, so shut up, moran.

Monsieur Grumpe January 19, 2010 at 11:23 am

Do they have Lizard People in Massachusetts?

Come here a minute January 19, 2010 at 11:23 am

[re=496752]V572625694[/re]: As long as they’re taken at your poling place.

cakeday January 19, 2010 at 11:25 am

my catholic-democrat father informed me that he was voting for brown as a protest vote because the democratic leaders in MA are “all a bunch of whores”. i guess the message here is “vote brown, unless you like whores”.

to translate y’alls picture request: liquor store = package store = packie.


SayItWithWookies January 19, 2010 at 11:25 am

This election is so important that Michael Steele will even be bussing in his homeless Pennsylvanians to help the Republican candidate — unfortunately most of the teabaggers will keep them away because they look like SEIU thugs (i.e. black). Ideally that chaos will keep the Brown supporters away.

Prommie January 19, 2010 at 11:27 am

If the naked dude doesn’t win, I predict a teabagger riot, egged on by FoxNews accusations of shennanigans. Shennanigans, isn’t it just like an Oirishman to engage in felonious shennanigans? I just like saying shennanigans. This doesn’t explain why I keep typing it, but what the fuck, why do I have to be rational and logical? Noone else is.

Snuggies January 19, 2010 at 11:28 am

[re=496726]jrl[/re]: THANKS RAND. I STARTED A BLOG FOR US:

S.Luggo January 19, 2010 at 11:29 am

News Flash:

Mass. Senate candidate Brown drives self to polls
AP January 19, 2010

Thatcher January 19, 2010 at 11:30 am


I am saddened that Wonkett didn’t know that liquor stores are packies. It’s like not knowing who plays for the Red Sox, but worse.

Potater January 19, 2010 at 11:37 am

[re=496767]S.Luggo[/re]: As opposed to that Coakley whore, who arrived on her dick-adorned caravan like some sort of Macy’s Thanskgiving Day Parade balloon.

finallyhappy January 19, 2010 at 11:40 am

[re=496761]SayItWithWookies[/re]: yeah, why didn’t Steele use Maryland or Dc homeless>? I worked that election so when we heard that they bussed in Pa homeless- was it because Md and Dc homeless were too smart to work for that POs Steele?

Serolf Divad January 19, 2010 at 11:42 am

My sister lives in MA (Whitman, fwiw) and we were on the phone when she pulled up to vote at the polls. She feels sure Brown is going to win and noted that when she pulled up there were an assload of Brown posters but no Coakley. Now, maybe her area is mostly conservative, but it certainly doesn’t speak well of the dominant party that they can’t at least throw up a few signs at the polling places.

Anyway, like I said some time ago: I’ve seen this shit before in Virginia in the 1990s. Dems treat election as coronation, decide to coast to victory and get squashed by the Repubs.

Never leave your guard down, assholes. That’s the message. And don’t treat your base like the crack whore you’ve got tied up and locked in the basement.

weejee January 19, 2010 at 11:45 am

OMG, Steele has got the Pakis voting and Jeebus (Nate Silver) is talking about Martha Choakley’s odds being 1:3.

Lascauxcaveman January 19, 2010 at 11:45 am

[re=496760]cakeday[/re]: [re=496769]Thatcher[/re]: “Package stores?” What, are you people Canadians or something?

JMP January 19, 2010 at 11:45 am

[re=496754]Prommie[/re]: With lines like “same-icat, no-difflican” he could be either a Naderite or Paultard.

[re=496779]finallyhappy[/re]: The MD homeless might take time off to vote, and are likely to vote Democratic; by taking them from PA instead he also insures that they can’t vote in their home state.

President Beeblebrox January 19, 2010 at 11:54 am


Prommie January 19, 2010 at 12:00 pm

[re=496792]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Acorn and SEUI thugs, indeed, if they fail to show up and do their election-stealin’, Coakley is doomed.

revbob January 19, 2010 at 12:03 pm

Maoist? You’ve forgotten how to spell “moist?

Red Zeppelin January 19, 2010 at 12:04 pm

[re=496744]germansteel[/re]: In which case I say, go Brownie!

Red Zeppelin January 19, 2010 at 12:07 pm

[re=496785]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: When I lived in Canada (Toronto) there was a provincial beer store that everyone called “the in and out store” (because there was one lane marked “in” and one marked “out”). Now that you can buy beer anywhere I am sure that lovely bit of Canadiana has gone the way of Maple Leaf Stanley Cups.

hoosiermama January 19, 2010 at 12:17 pm

[re=496760]cakeday[/re] [re=496769]Thatcher[/re] [re=496785]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: : I am ashamed of all you Wonketts who would be so racist as to refer to package stores, because they are owned predominantly by Pakistanian-Americans, as “packies.” That’s completely bigoted. Oh, wait.

the problem child January 19, 2010 at 12:31 pm

[re=496802]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Wait, anywhere? Since when the Beer Store/ LCBO monopoly end?

catsquatch January 19, 2010 at 12:46 pm

[re=496802]Red Zeppelin[/re]: I too would love to know since I am currently trapped in Canada City, capital of Canuckia and have been forced to make regular trips to “The Beer Store” which is helpfully situated next to the LCBO.

proudgrampa January 19, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Freakin’ Democrats. How stupid is that to lose in freakin’ Massachusetts?

Crap. Once again, we snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Red Zeppelin January 19, 2010 at 1:06 pm

[re=496822]the problem child[/re]: [re=496832]catsquatch[/re]: I haven’t been back for awhile and heard obviously erroneous reports of Canukia’s liberation. My sympathies.

I do remember, though, when you had to fill out an order form and present it to someone at a window at the LCBO, so things are at least improving.

bitchincamaro January 19, 2010 at 1:07 pm

MA is the only place I don’t feel entirely stupid mis-pronouncing the word frappe.

Jim89048 January 19, 2010 at 1:48 pm

I got drunk and ended up in Seekonk once, can I vote absentee? Being from California, I asked the hotel clerk where the liquor store was, she gave me a blank stare ’til the light came on and she directed me to what she called the “lotto” store. My scratch-off didn’t win, but I was able to keep drinking, so win!

yellowdogdem January 19, 2010 at 2:05 pm

So, you want pictures of the sweet little elderly ladies who man (lady?) the polling station at the Hardy Elementary School near my house? Seriously, nothing interesting happens at Massachusetts polling stations.

President ODreamy January 19, 2010 at 2:14 pm

[re=496924]yellowdogdem[/re]: E. Arlington, eh? Lived there for a year a few years back, now in the Heights. Voted at Dallin (for Martha) earlier this morning.

I’d take a pic of that lovely elderly fellow with the jet-black toupee, but that would be mean, not snarky.

catsquatch January 19, 2010 at 2:15 pm

[re=496852]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Things are different in some of the further lands of the realm. I have visited Alberta (Texas’s retarded little brother) and they will sell you a six-pack in a bar to take home there. Even Newfoundland (imagine Jed Clampett lived on an island and couldn’t drive anywhere after he shot that food) will sell you beer at a variety store. But Ontario was settled by communist retards who believe Big Brother should have a booze monopoly. Christ I was once in a restaurant in Toronto that crossed some kind of municipal border. You could drink in half the place, but not the other half. Yes they still have dry areas here left over from prohibition. I can’t wait to get back to a civilization that allows, and expects, the free pour.

Cape Clod January 19, 2010 at 2:21 pm

[re=496924]yellowdogdem[/re]: I agree. There is just no way I can make a picture of doughy old white people trouping into the Yarmouth Town Hall interesting.

Come here a minute January 19, 2010 at 2:25 pm

[re=496924]yellowdogdem[/re]: u r not following instructions — “Doesn’t have to be good”!

cattdance January 19, 2010 at 2:43 pm

[re=496726]jrl[/re]: empty vacuums??

Crankenstank January 19, 2010 at 3:48 pm

I’d post up pictures of my elderly parents trudging through the snow to pull the lever, but like most Massachussetts liberals, they’re down in Florida at the condo while honest hard-working freedom-toting voters have to drive their SUVs to the polls.

chascates January 19, 2010 at 4:05 pm

From Meghan McCain’s Twitter:
“Let’s give it up for Brown today in Massachusetts, hope he can pull it out! ”

So much for her support for gay rights.

cakeday January 19, 2010 at 4:39 pm

[re=496809]hoosiermama[/re]: I think “package” is leftover from when the days when Cotton Mather would kick your ass for buying liquor, so you had to carry it out in a packaged container. It’s just that if you ask for directions to the liquor store in MA, you’ll catch a beating like you are from Rhode Island. Then again, I now live in NC and have to ask for the “ABC” store or people don’t know what i’m talking ’bout, willis.

lochnessmonster January 19, 2010 at 5:16 pm

I just don’t see how any self-respecting Republican could vote for that naked guy, Brownie. Isn’t that against God or something to flaunt your privates?

Diana Davies January 19, 2010 at 6:40 pm

[re=497099]lochnessmonster[/re]: It depends on the privates. God really hates cocktail sausages.

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