So Scott Brown Wants To Rape Martha Coakley With a Curling Iron?

  very vague sex crimes

'Are you going to fuck me up the ass with a curling iron or are you just happy to see me?'Jesus, New York Times, if you would just quote the “something vulgar” rather than leave us all guessing, maybe the voters of Massachusetts would know whether Scott Brown is laughing about sodomy or rape or rape-sodomy or whatever.

There were last minute squabbles on the campaign trail. Mr. Brown accused Ms. Coakley of politicizing the King memorial breakfast, while Democrats accused Mr. Brown of smirking after a rowdy supporter at one of his rallies suggested doing something vulgar to Ms. Coakley with a curling iron. (Mr. Brown said that he had not heard the remark.)

Who knows, maybe it was “make kind of a dick motion with a curling iron,” or “wave a curling iron around Martha Coakley’s head while screaming about shitting on the Pope.” We will never know, because of the New York Times.

And this is how health care/democracy died. [NYT]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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28 comments

  1. shortsshortsshorts

    There is no better way of celebrating the life of MLK by squabbling over stupid bullshit. Hoorah Democracy.

  2. Lascauxcaveman

    Anti-Obama protesters show up at rallies armed with *AMERICAN GUNS*, and Scott Brown supporters show up with gay, homosexual, prissy, French curling irons?

    Massachusetts, you are dead to me.

  3. Hooray For Anything

    [re=496617]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Or health care dying due to an election revolving around such important issues as one candidates choice of automobile and the others lack of knowledge of Red Sox pitchers.

  4. charlesdegoal

    How about: “Hey, let the bitch frizzy up your pubes with a curling iron!” That should shut the opposition up for good.
    Democracy is dead.

  5. chascates

    It seems the people of Massachusetts will lose either way. That’s what you deserve when you refer to yourself as a commonwealth rather than a state.

  6. chascates

    [re=496623]chascates[/re]: Holy shit! Kentucky, Pennslyvania, and Virginia consider themselves commonwealths too. Then screw ‘em all I say.

  7. Bearbloke

    Ho! We’re so caught up with His Prince-ness Wee Prince Willy deigning to personally inspect us, His wretched Antipodian Subjects of The Empire, that I almost forgot to wish you Yanks a “Happy Historically-Significant Globally-Known Nobel-Prize-Winning Racial-Minority Multi-Culti-Transcendence-Attempting World Leader Day”!

    …Sooooo, has Scott “ScatBoi” Brown’s campaign yet made the assertion that since Dr. King used the word “Negro ” – in public no less – that all Blacks & Liberals are therefore vile racists especially since Blacks & Liberals are just two sides of the same coin to ‘Real Merikins‘ like him & his teabagger-mob? No? Not yet? Be sure to check your morning papers…

  8. mollymcguire

    [re=496620]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Anti-Obama protesters also show up with flacid penises. All that Oxy, Meth and stupid causes side effects.

  9. gurukalehuru

    Didn’t hear it, my ass. The whole crowd heard it. Scott Brown is a fucking liar, among his many other personality defects.

  10. melvin

    I don’t know what wet dream Mitch McConnell is having the most tonight. Brown is elected, and health care reform is dead, or Mitch gets slammed up the ass with an inanimate object. My bet is on the latter.

  11. Up To Here Again

    Please help send Scott Brown-and-Serve bacck into political obscurity.

    Why delay four years his date with his own ignorance?

    As to Red Sox analogies, replacing Kennedy with Scott Brown conjures up another great progression:

    Red Sox left field: Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski, Jimmy Rice . . . Mike Greenwell ????

  12. I-man

    Is anyone interested in making Massachusetts the most densely populated state in America? Those suckers have universal coverage already, and I for one can’t wait to affect a Brahmin or Southie accent.

  13. bhosp

    …with thunderous applause?

    There’s a reason why the NYT’s nickname is “Old Grey Lady.” I chuckle every time I see the phrase “Mr. Bin Laden” in there.

  14. Larry McAwful

    I have volunteered to pose nude for the Coakley campaign and to drive voters to the polls for the Coakley campaign. They have so far only taken me up on the driving thing, but suggested that maybe the Brown campaign could use my nude services. It’s going to be a busy day!

  15. Katydid

    [re=496641]bhosp[/re]: Didn’t the Times used to refer to one rather corpulent rocker as “Mr. Loaf?”

  16. Katydid

    [re=496644]Katydid[/re]: In 2007, the NYT claimed they only called him “Mr. Loaf” once in a headline to be funny. But Meat hisself said earlier that the Times did call him Mr. Loaf in a theater review.

  17. Katydid

    [re=496643]Larry McAwful[/re]: Did you sext a nude picture to Coakley’s thugs? Might move things along. You’re welcome.

  18. Diana Davies

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with personal curling iron use in a pinch, if you just remember to turn it off first. What about like when the store is out of cucumbers?

  19. Snuggies

    Brown needs to bring scatsex and shemales into the equation. How about a video of Brown peeing in master teabagger Dale Robertson’s fat racist mouth? Maybe he can get those moronic Massachusetts independents away from Wifeswap for a moment to vote. Brown, if I’m Snuggies, you need to win big asshole.

  20. JSDC007

    Healthcare will be dead even if hot naked Daddy Brown loses.

    Why? Goblin troll Lieberman and the hairpiece known as Ben Nelson are still alive. And, thus, they will continue their douchebaggery.

  21. loudensspam

    Personally, I don’t know how the state that elected Ted Kennedy, who’s sole purpose in life seemed to be healthcare reform, can elect Brown with the stakes so high. That’s like giving the Kennedy family one huge curling iron up the ass.

    But you can’t deflect your anger at the NYTimes. That’s like the Cubs placing all there problems at the feet of Steve Bartman, or Bill Buckner, or that goat…

  22. yellowdogdem

    [re=496741]Mr Blifil[/re]: You cant “be” a Southie. You can be “from” Southie. Especially if you are Mark Wahlberg.

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