Where do the Teabaggers in Texas who are phone-banking Massachusetts households come up with this shit? “I just got a polling call about Martha Coakley. I also had to answer questions about gay marriage, Israel, and malaria, including this one: ‘In World War II, 6 million Jews were killed by the Nazis. Now 6 million Israelis live under constant threat of attack from Islamic extremists. Meanwhile, 1 million women and children in sub-Saharan Africa die each year from malaria. The United Nations could use its billions of dollars to protect the people of Israel or to prevent the spread of malaria. In your opinion, is the threat to security in Israel a more pressing concern that should immediately be addressed by the United Nations than the epidemic of malaria in Africa?’” Umm… green balloons? [Balloon Juice]
UHH ...
January 18, 2010
The Best Phone Survey In Massachusetts Right Now
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{ 40 comments }
It’s all about the Heebz, isn’t it?
Right, because it’s always one or the other. Didn’t the British already try this pitting one tribe against the other thing?
Um…no opinion?
One million Africans die from malaria each year, but I am sure hundreds of millions of Africans are “under constant threat” of malaria, as opposed to 6 mil. Israelis “under constant threat”. The Israelis have a top notch military, while Africa has mostly horrible disease prevention. So, yes, give the dough to the Africans. Next question.
“Also, malaria only ever occurs in Africa. That’s the only place. Not anywhere in Asia. Not in South America. Just Africa. Where they are black. Really black. Like those people in Haiti who are looting things all over the news. IS THAT WHERE YOU WANT YOUR TAX DOLLARS TO GO BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE THEY ARE GOING RIGHT NOW VOTE AGAINST COAKLEY.”
1 Million a year means six million dead in six years; so yes, the epidemic of malaria is a more pressing threat; and that’s ignoring the fact that there is no possible way for Islamic terrorists to kill every single person in Israel, as the robocall seems to imply.
That is, unless someone believes that the Israeli’s lives are more important than African lives. Huh, I wonder why a Republican would think Africans’ lives aren’t worth much..
And of course, some R operative will be found out, after the race is over and his man is comfy in his new Senate office. Change the law to provide for immediate dismissal from office if any of your campaign workers are found guilty of or admit wrongdoing and see how fast this shit goes away.
I think I remember now why politics has largely been left up to the professionals for lo these many years. I’ve watched enough Washington Week on C-SPAN to know that most people who want to express an opinion and not get paid for it are stark raving lunatics. (Mind you, I’m getting paid for writing this, as soon as Wonkette gets around to mailing out those checks they promised me after my 35th email to them about it. They owe me, dammit.)
“If your country was raped and murdered how would you feel about the death penalty?”
Gay marriage at the United Nations causes malaria in Israel? This is right out of Revelation, or Nostradamus, one or the other, but either way, Coakley’s to blame!
Tough question. I’d flunk this election for sure.
My sympathy to those Massachusettians (???) that currently are being subjected to this drivel. Just remember, if it’s Brown, flush it.
What is all this about “Gay Israelis in Maryland”?? .. oh look, a squirrel.
[re=496441]jodyleek[/re]: No, no; the UN obviously should abandon disease prevention in order to devote all of its resources to protecting Israel, even though it’s already doing a pretty good job of protecting itself.
Besides which, those Africans deserve that malaria, considering how they conquered and occupied the mosquitos’ land, forced the mosquitos to live as second class citizens under apartheid conditions, allow their settlers to fully steal mosquitos’ lands for themselves, and keep indiscriminately bombing hundreds of innocent mosquitos in retaliation every time a guilty mosquito infects someone with malaria.
If that Brown bastard wins Teddy’s Senate seat, I promise you, Ted Kennedy’s ghost will return to Boston and burn Fenway Park to the ground.
[re=496444]JMP[/re]: Haha, you do math, you must be gay.
I got a seemingly fairly balanced (I suspected from a conservative organization, but it wasn’t obviously so) poll call yesterday from Public Policy Research or something like that. They had this one question at the very very end that threw me for a loop. After lots of questions about, who are you voting for on Tuesday; how excited are you about voting for them; do you approve of the job Barry is doing; how about congressional Dems and Repugs; who did you vote for for Pres in 2008; are congressional Dems/Repugs too liberal, too conservative or just right; and then they threw this total curveball: Do you think ACORN will steal the election for Martha Coakley??? Yes, No, or Not Sure. I was thinking, “Or press 4 if you think the pollsters are on crack,” but then I thought, maybe the purpose of the question is to try to figure out if conservatards answering the poll are regular Massachusetts-style conservatards, or if they are total nutjob crackpot Teabagger conservatards? Anyway, I was an extra-enthusiastic libtard for that poll, just to try to help Martha and Barry get a little bounce.
Oh, and when NOM robo-called earlier that day and asked if marriage should be between one man and one woman, my answer was “Fuck off and die,” and the robo-voice said, “you need to answer yes, no, or repeat, or the survey will be terminated.” So when it asked the question again, I said “go bite a sack of poisoned rat dicks!” and so it terminated the survey. So much for push polls. Did I do the libtards a disservice, I wonder? It felt good to vent, I hope that someone at NOM had to listen to my responses!
“The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.”
“Of the 100 billion dollars the u.s. spends on genetic research each year in pursuit of cures for cancer and Alzheimer’s and other chronic diseases that cut our western life expectancy, don’t you think that 100 billion would be better spent in on breeding a giant red heifer?”
[re=496470]Darkness[/re]: $100 billion? Haha, no; this is the US government; only military research gets that kind of money.
Wait … why again is it the Israelis want to kill a million sub-saharan women?
Ah, the sweet, stalwart science of polling.
The callee was lucky. I got the one about the train going north at 35 miles an hour that’s three hours from Schenectady. Flunked it cold.
I think the big issue is that Africans aren’t needed for the Rapture while Israeli Jews are and therefore more important.
[re=496478]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yes, finally, I couldn’t believe the answers above, keep in mind it was the Republicans who framed this either/or question, not the Israelis, who have actually been very active in helping Africa (and note their medical hospital in Haiti) on a number of fronts and aren’t to be confused with American Jews, Republicans, or pollsters.
[re=496485]maven[/re]: So, you’re saying that the Israelis want to kill a million sub-Saharan women in their Haiti Medical Hospital? That’s just terrible!
I can’t vote for Scott Brown fast enough, now!
Even Scott Brown’s push polls are mavericky!
“In World War II, 6 million Jews were killed by the Nazis. Now 6 million Israelis live under constant threat of attack from Islamic extremists. Meanwhile, 1 million women and children in sub-Saharan Africa die each year from malaria. If a bus carrying the Israelis leaves the station at 2 p.m. and is traveling 65 MPH and an airplane carrying the malaria infected sub-Saharan African women and children takes off from the airport at the same time, traveling at a rate of 525 miles per hour, at what point in time does the pollster begin proposing questions based on false equivalencies?”
(I tanked on the math portion of the SAT, but thankfully hit the verbal scores out of the ballpark.)
We have secretly replaced the Teabagger’s poll script with a Liberty/Regent University International Relations 101 exam question. Can they taste the difference?
[re=496476]JMP[/re]: It was just a number to make a joke. But a quick search pulls up total budgets of 7 billion from nsf and 29 billion from hhs. Were in a rough ballpark here.
[re=496483]Hooray For Anything[/re]:
Interestingly, Sarah Palin just posted about this very subject on her Facebook page. I think she’s been getting media training – she explains her position on aid to Israel and Africa more coherently than usual.
“Recent polls have shown that a fifth of the teabaggers can’t locate Israel on a map. I personally believe that teabaggers are unable to do so because, uh, some teabaggers out there in our nation don’t have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education such as Republicans and teabaggers, everywhere like such as.
“I believe that they should, uh, our education over here on Fox News should help the teabaggers, or should help Republicans, and should help Israel and the African countries so we will be able to build up our future for the End Times.
“TrUCkNuTZ!!1! For the Rapture”
If I got a call (I won’t for two reasons – I don’t live in MA, and I never answer a call from someone I don’t know), I’d have a little fun. If the caller had even the tiniest bit of an accent, I’d ask him to repeat at least every other third word. I’d intersperse these requests with comments that he wasn’t making him/herself clear or that I was having a hard time understanding him.
I’m a NC native, so it’s okay for me to make fun of how someone else talks.
[re=496494]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: oh, are you Steve Cokely? Its the 80s again!!!
[re=496499]doxastic[/re]: Yes, but you know that the actual answer is: Immediately, because the presence of all those terrorists on a plane is a fail for the Democrats on security. Republicans would not have allowed them to board.
Do you realize that Barack Obama is a black man who just wants to rape white women?
Who do you plan to vote for in the upcoming Senate Race: Coakly, a despoiled white women, or Brown?
[re=496522]surfacenoise76[/re]: Why do you hate how the negroes speak?
[re=496497]Neoyorquino[/re]: Win. Answer: 7 miles an hour backwards if you have a Haitian conductor. – Rush
[re=496450]chascates[/re]: By whom? — Jon Kyl.
[re=496439]StoneAge[/re]: You are speaking of the inhabitants of Belfast, not that I disagree.
A. Plowman wrote the questions.
B. Jews can vote?
I got the same question in a robocall here in Louisiana a couple months ago, but the primary questions were about the health care bill. It was right before the Senate vote and they were trying to wheedle people into contacting Landrieu as she was wavering. I suspect that only libruhls get the malaria questions and it’s intended to make us look insensitive either way. (I swear in my call it was phrased as “primarily white Israelis” versus “primarily black sub-Saharan Africans.”)
Anyway it did identify itself as coming from the Family Research Council, a very charming organization indeed. Founded by Dobson, loosely tied to Focus on the Family, etc etc.
Wouldn’t it just be cheaper to give the Islamic extremists malaria?
I would hearken back to Dave Letterman’s top 10 ways to get out of jury duty:
“Wait a minute while I consult the little man who lives in my pants.”
[re=496700]Sussemilch[/re]: Cheaper still: Give Scott Brown malaria.
There. Problem solved w/out Armageddon.
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