Get it? “Earthquake,” “unshaken”? ZING BAM POW. Next up: “Haiti? More like CHEETAH!” What, who says you can’t use any of the Tiger Woods puns for other news stories? Anyway, congratulations to Jesus, for pulling off another fast one. [CNN]
HEROIC NEWS COVERAGE
January 18, 2010
{ 39 comments }
Is this slip your fault?
I sent in my monies, so I’m allowed to joke about this now. Pay to play.
I’m trembling with outrage. Oh, wait…
How about: nothing can “crumble” their hopes/spirits?
Poor people need religion. Religion needs poor people.
The world would be a better place without both.
And really, we all need something to crack us up today.
Shaken…not stirred.
It’s all part of the pact with Satan.
I felt the earth move under my feet.
Shake it up, baby (twist and shout)
Maybe this is a result of their pact with Satan.
Whose fault is this headline.
When you turn to religion as a result of an earthquake, that’s aftershock and awe.
[re=496345]chascates[/re]: You win
Rumblings of discontent are being heard concerning the government and speed of relief efforts, however.
Just further proof that Voodoo is the one true religion.
I can’t wait until Britt Hume converts.
[re=496345]chascates[/re]: Wouldn’t that be more of a rift with God? So, someone must be fibbing. I nominate Pat Robertson, per usual.
[re=496345]chascates[/re]: Or, G_d and Satan got together for a rumble.
[re=496355]the problem child[/re]: Because of the crushing and suffocating poverty. Oh, and that dead people smell.
CNN shows bad taste of seismic proportions.
How about CNN throwing together some Haiti footage with Chumbawamba’s “I get knocked down(!)” blaring over it? Cheezeball and tasteless as any pun.
[re=496354]mollymcguire[/re]: Satan made me do it.
[re=496362]JMP[/re]: of “earth-shattering” proportions.
[re=496340]lochnessmonster[/re]: bruise, buckle, contuse, crease, kablooey, mash, pound, powder, pulverize, quash, rumple, squash, trample, wrinkle
CNN – epicenter of your Haiti crisis coverage!
The power of brainwashing just never ceases to amaze me.
The term “aftershock” has been tossed around and abused for years whenever an earthquake happens (e.g. emotional, financial, sexual, etc.). Heck, my ’89 self was starting to doubt if there really was such a thing as an actual, tectonic aftershock thanks to the media coverage of the World Series earthquake.
It apparently took them this long to find a new pun.
[re=496364]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: That would be OK, but Carol King’s “I Feel the Earth Move” would be perfect.
[re=496372]S.Luggo[/re]: I’m trying to be a little more scientific here.
[re=496358]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: And in the end, there can be only one…
Limbaugh declares it “week two” of “Obama’s Haiti crisis”
http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201001180011
When he’s right, he’s right (so to speak).
Chaos, hunger, pain, destruction and no help anyone whatsoever.
Just like the FOX News prime time line up
“All is for the best in the best of all worlds”
- Pangloss
(see Earthquake, Lisbon)
Totally OT (or is it?) — just saw Avatar, and frankly, I was most interested in checking out the aliens’ junk. Alas, no reveal.
Haiti should convert to Fristianity. That is all.
Maybe they should pray for Jesus to drop copies of Japan’s or California’s earthquake building codes in their laps and get off their knees and form a government effective enough to enforce them. Nah, easier to believe the God bullshit. They might have thrown off the French physical slavery but they kept the mental slavery the French priests taught them.
Wow. Even after God clearly just told them to fuck off and die under a pile of their own home.
But that’s not gonna stop ‘em from gettin’ even MORE faithy.
Isn’t belief a wonderful thing?
[re=496353]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Why hasn’t Wonkette hired you yet?
Also, do news outlets just have templates for this shit?
“[Locals] Faith Unchanged Despite [natural disaster proving that no greater power with any sense of love or care could possibly exist, seriously, did you see the fucking mangled bodies in the streets???!?]“
Sorry, forgot a pun.
“Earthquake victims must be on crack to find no fault with God after seismic…
Aww fuck it. This is just sad.
[re=496415]ZombieRichardFeynman[/re]:
Die Beste aller möglichen Welten.
Futher, a bit of evil is needed in the world for us to know good.
— Leibniz (aka Pangloss)
Speaking of evil.
http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201001180013
Limbaugh: “The White House politicized 9-11 when it made it a day of service … which is a left-wing poltiical belief”
[Video]
From the January 18 edition of Premiere Radio Networks’ The Rush Limbaugh Show:
I think it’d be better (read: worse) if CNN played Silk The Shocker’s “It Ain’t My Fault” over their punny coverage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_2fHQq-kfI
And here are the lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/silkktheshocker/itaintmyfault2.html
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