Norm Coleman, one of the most celebrated Republican Blingees of all time, announced today that he would not be running for governor of Minnesota. This is an offense to the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, another very important Republican Blingee.
Former Senator Coleman and his hologram wife will not be moving into the governor’s mansion anytime soon, because he is too busy rising above petty politics at the moment! Here’s part of what he said in a statement on Facebook, which is sort of the 21st century’s answer to the Federalist Papers:
At the moment, I am tremendously energized by the work I am currently involved in to create a positive, center right agenda for this country. … I think I can be part of recreating a more civil and respectful politics, a politics that better expresses the will of the vast majority of people. … I’ve learned there are lots of ways to serve without an official position. Dr. King said everyone can be great because everyone can serve. We all need to seek out how our service can do the most good, and at this moment in my life, I’ve found mine.
This will make the Minnesota governor’s race at least 20 percent less interesting, without Coleman or Ming the Merciless running this time.
Text of Norm Coleman’s statement on Facebook [StarTribune.com]
{ 38 comments }
translation:
Norm needs money.
Amongst the candidates is Tom Rukavina, who calls himself “The Croatian Sensation” (Oh, yes, http://www.tpt.org/aatc/2009/10/14/1st_dfl_gop_gov_debate), sometimes “The Croatian Sensation, Minnesota’s gift to the nation.”
Also, he has a DUI and argued against lowering the DUI level from 0.1 to 0.08 a few years ago by saying “0.08? How will my constituents get to work in the morning?”
This man should be president of the world, obvi.
What, no salmon swimming upstream like a pointguard in the mighty and true rivers of Northern Minnesota? QUIT-SPEECH FAIL.
Ugh I couldn’t read that whole stupid MLK thing. Does it say that Norm is a Dixiecrat? Cuz he sure looks like one in that pic…
[re=496224]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Translation #2:
“…there are lots of ways to serve without an official position.”
=
unemployed, and trolling for wimmenz on Facebook.
[re=496228]Crank Tango[/re]: Yeah, I’m so old I remember when having long hair and smoking dope meant you weren’t a gun-lovin’ conservatard.
In other words, after losing to both a professional wrestler and a comedian, not to mention spending all his money demanding recount after recount and suing to overturn the election results, he’s afraid of another loss.
“I think I can be part of recreating a more civil and respectful politics”
Translation: “Fuck you Lizard People. Civil and respectful only applies to Demrats.”
Coleman feels he can serve his political agenda without being governor? I bet he could make a lot of money on the lecture circuit, too!
My God! He’s the male, Jewish Sarah Palin!
So Norm & Snowbilly are communicating to the masses via FB…and the media prints their status updates as true bonafide news (esp. in Snowbilly’s case). My oh my, what has the Republic come to?
Is Gary Coleman available?
I absolutely agree with Norm. The best way for him to be of service to the people of Minnesota is to sit down and STFU.
[re=496228]Crank Tango[/re]: Hell, even I was a Republican in those days. I think MLK would have changed affiliations. The GOP abandoned us, not the other way around.
[re=496234]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: He originally wanted to post the news on CompuServe’s CB Simulator but he misplaced his password.
iT’s BecAuse thE lIZARD pEOPLE TOlD HIm tHEY’d EaT HIS gIZARD OUt IF HE Ran AgAIn. aND he kNOWs tHEY WOULd THIS TiME.
I pine for the days when losers didn’t bother announcing they weren’t going to be a loser again. Everyone assumed it.
“At the moment, I am tremendously energized by the work I am currently involved in to create a positive, center right agenda for this country.”
Wow, Norm is going to try moving to the center-right? That’s going to be quite a change for him.
[re=496235]choinski[/re]: Dabney might be.
Hopefully, this opens the door to one M. Bachmann.
Because that would be AWESOME.
[re=496244]proudgrampa[/re]: Gary Cole, on the other hand, would be kinda scary.
Hey, Norm. The Minnetonka WalMart needs a new greeter.
[re=496228]Crank Tango[/re]: Basically the point was Dr. King had more in common with Republicans than Democrats…were this still the 1950s before all the liberal Republicans retired/were voted out of office and the conservative Democrats switched party affiliation so they could hang out with Barry Goldwater and eventually Ronald Reagan. Plus the whole “Poor People’s Campaign” is so very much an idea the G.O.P. would support in this day and age, ya know?
Good lord, that MLK piece is a must-read –it’s like a catalog of logical fallacies wrapped in a creamy layer of condescension. Brief recap: The “Democrat party” was all racist up through the 1960s, so blacks were mostly Republicans, and Nixon’s “southern strategy” was not an attempt to play on whites’ racism, but rather, their Christian outrage at how the Democrat Party had been so racist to their black brothers and sisters. Also, the Democrat Party keeps lying to black folk about the real causes of their problems, and the black folk are so simple that they believe those lies and fail to recognize that the “Republican Party principles of hard work, personal responsibility, getting a good education and ownership of homes and small businesses offer the pathway to prosperity.” If only those silly blacks weren’t so lazy that they keep voting for anyone who promises a handout, MLK’s dream of equality could be realized…
Wasn’t Norm killed in the plane crash with Ronnie VanZant?
Haha, SOMEbody’s upside down 13x over in their mortgage. Who can afford that puny gubmint check when that’s goin’ on?
Plus, he’s already got his gubmint pension/healthcare anyhoo, so screw you, Lizardia!
Two words. FoxNews pundit.
Hey, Normie, center right is a couple of steps to the left of where you’re at now.
[re=496237]proudgrampa[/re]: Wait–isn’t that about the same time St. Ronnie said the Democrat Party abandoned him?,/i>
[re=496233]Larry McAwful[/re]: You beat me to it, Larry. “He’s pullin’ a Palin!”
Palin, Steele, the Teabagger Convention, Coleman… “How I Made Bank Soaking the Stupids, and You Can Do It, Too!”
[re=496237]proudgrampa[/re]: Think about it, you’re probably old enough to remember: in MLK’s heyday, things for which Republicans were known included:
1) Distaste for shrill (southern) Democrat anti-negro rhetoric‡
2) Fiscal Responsibility*
____________
‡sounds crazy, but it’s true
*sounds crazy, but it’s true
More room for lucha libre candidates, or whomever Minnesotans tend to elect.
[re=496293]El Pinche[/re]: FOX News is like a retirement home for Republican quitters.
MLK (like Gandhi) was also an open socialist. Just sayin’, GOPoppers.
I swear, every piece of propaganda written by the “conservative movement” reads like a press report from Minitrue. MLK was a Republican, Mother Theresa was a Republican, Franklin Roosevelt was a Republican, etc.
Norm has become a bitter. It suits him.
Would somebody please explain to Freebird that we’ve ALWAYS had a center-right agenda in this country.
But is the vampire guy running again?
Too bad, I love beating Norm.
Change you can believe in:
“I don’t want to see one more soldier go there than has to go there. ” – Sen Franken
“I wouldn’t mind send a few extra soldiers there. ” – Sen. Coleman
The last time he ran for Governor, he didn’t even carry the city of St. Paul, where he was once Mayor. Minnesotans are tired of his whiney ass voice and ass kissing lies.
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