Look everyone, it’s America’s two greatest presidents, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, taking back the White House to restore Capitalism to America. They urge you to donate to Haiti for some reason… [googles "haiti problem ?" ]… oh GOD, you should really donate to Haiti!! The best part comes at the end, when Barack Obama brings Clinton a cup of coffee. [Clinton Bush Haiti Fund]
George W. Bush And Bill Clinton Are President Of Haiti
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First Kim Jong-il and now W, I guess Clinton really pose for a picture with just anyone.
“Heh heh heh, now watch this drive.”
“when confronted with massive human suffering, americans have always stepped up and answered the call to help… sooner or later… LOL!”
Clinton looks serious/Bush looks like he’s deciding what to order from Pizza Guy.
Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol
Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol
Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol
Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol
C-c-c-c-c-cocaine!!!!!!!!!
Clinton and Dubya in the same hotel is like Ozzy Osbourne and Motley Crue (circa 1987) on the same tour bus.
Wow, I really missed Bush’s deer in the headlight look. Thanks for the flashback, Wonkette!
TELEPROMPTERSSS!!!!!1!!
Is that a thumb W is fondling with his left hand? If not will the money shot be released in the 2010 White House Bloopers and Blunders DVD?
OK, so now I’ve heard a few wingnuts claiming that the $10 donations you can make with your cell phone (text message ‘haiti’) is a scam with only 10% of the donation going towards the cause. Can anybody here shed any light on this?
Way down in the south of France, all the ladies love to dance.
Send a check to Partners in Health, then find tweedledee and tweedledum and puke in their lap.
[re=495989]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Yeah, “donating money”. This phrase is not compatible with “cell phone”.
The best part comes at the end, when Barack brings Clinton a cup of white hot chocolate coffee. George looks jealous, then a little embarrased, and then they share a good laugh. International Tribunal Coffees!
[re=495981]stew[/re]: I think Bush is just tickled pink that he hasn’t spent the last year eating the shit sandwich he left at the White House.
Clinton’s hands are in the shape of a vulva. You can tell a lot about a man by looking at his hands.
It is a shame they didn’t get on video tape the part where Bush and Clinton talk about how when they were at Yale you could fly down to Haiti and get the best smack and blow jobs cheap.
[re=495989]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Nope. I’m writing my check to UMCOR and dropping it into the plate at church in the AM–something of which you wonkette-reading, brunch-eating, hungover heathens won’t be able to avail yourselves. I will, however, pray for you, after praying for Haitians, Congolese, North Koreans, Iranian dissidents, Chinese dissidents,–come to think of it, I won’t have time to bother with the wonkeratti. You losers are on your own.
[re=495995]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: bush’s hands are in the shape of a disastrous two-term presidency, possibly the worst in american history!
[re=495989]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: That’s not true. I think almost 100% of it goes to Red Cross.
One: Jim’s story, build-up, whatever was hysterical. “My” wonkette is better than the Onion at making me laugh in the face of (other people’s) misery.
Two: How is the world of Sean O’Rushbeck and the other Teabaggers going to deal with this? I know they claim now that they were unhappy with W’s spending (yeah, I know. Why didn’t they mention it while he was in office?) but he hasn’t been subjected to all-out wingnut teabagging tardwar. Not yet, anyway.
I saw the two of them on the teevee together and to be honest, Bush did a good job being not all weepy and upset and saying, yeah, yeah, I know. You want to send your old clothes and Walmart 3 for 1 teddy bears to Haiti, but keep that shit at home. Just send cash. Money. Cash money.
Much as he spoke at private fundraising functions in the old days.
[re=496001]NYNYNY[/re]: Yeah, conservatives are confused. Go figure. Sometimes I think it’s wilfull. There WAS a question of the money not reaching the victims immediately, if the cell phone companies didn’t disburse the funds until customers paid their statements. Just a little effort on the computer machine was all it took to discover this was not, in fact, the case. Thanks for clarifying for me.
Was it me or did Dubya look a little ‘tipsy’ sitting there? I thought he was going to put his head on Bill’s shoulder at one point.
Its kinda like that movie “My Fellow Americans” only in real life.
Well, Dubya does know an awful lot of rich people, as does Clinton. I hope they find those rich folks and turn them upside down and shake them until money falls out of their pockets. Haiti looks to need everything from the ground on up.
FOX News is reporting a security breech at JFK Airport.
To help, send cash, text JFK/ScottBrown/FOX – 69696
Maybe Bill and W. can ease on down Haiti way and fuck a bunch of ‘em & save a bunch ‘em for Jebus, respectively… Make it a pay for view or, better yet, a pledge drive with W. proclaiming The King James Translation and Bill laying pipe, maybe Laura and Hillary could drop in to serve Koolaid & cookies and throw an ashtray or two, respectively…
Look at Dubya just scrubbin’ away at his hands. Just the thought of helping all those dirty poor black people makes him feel filthy, doesn’t it?
Why’d they break up the Clinton/ Pappy Bush duo? That worked so much better on film than this. This is like if they remade CHIPs and used Luke Wilson instead of the original blond guy, but kept the Eric Estrada (Clinton) on as Ponch.
[re=496011]I Am Not Your Gary Busey[/re]: The jitters are just a side effect of the Antabuse…
[re=495982]El Pinche[/re]: Queens of the Stone Age, or are you just having a good weekend?
[re=495998]DustBowlBlues[/re]: “North” Koreans? I believe Korea is one unified country. Correct me if I’m wrong.
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and I’ve written a book
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and take a look
Yeah, it’s blogwhoring. So sue me.
This is a picture of Ross Douthat as Frodo “Missing Member” Baggins. That is all.
The video just ends before George says “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job,”.
[re=496014]NYNYNY[/re]: I’m assuming you went to high school in Wasilla.
[re=495998]DustBowlBlues[/re]: This church “plate” of which you speak, does it have a withdrawal policy? As a kid I believed it did, and never thought to ask anyone until now.
Things in Haiti are looking grim, in spite of the CNN special, “Anderson Cooper Saving Haiti” (just add a colon to that baby and BAM you’ve got a great joke). I was watching the food and water drops and realized that there is a perfect solution: [note use of colon] bring on the strength of the America’s fighter pilots and just cold carpet bomb that place, shore to shore, with everything they can jam in those bomb thingies (my husband watches the military channel, not me). Water, gatoraid, mountain dew, those UN healthy cookies, Oreos–chocolate candy, like that Berlin air life guy.
Then sit back and watch Sean O’Rushbeck eat their own feces and go into a fetal position, because they do not know how to bad mouth a bombing campaign. Or maybe unload the planes quickly and load the stuff onto UN trucks with security people along and distribute it.
However, just get the g**damn help to these people:
BREAKING NEWS: UM Missionary rescued and on the teevee.
Bush is saying, I could of handled Katrina if it happened in Haiti. The problem was it happened in NO. Shi……..
What’s SNL doing on so early?
This all reminds me of the story of the widow’s mite. As I recall, Jeebus was looking on as folks were tossing Benjamins into the kitty. Along came this raggedy old hag with her two pennies and Jeebus stood up and said, “what do you think this is, you old hag? We cain’t do shit with that donation.” Then the crowd tied her up and burned her alive, or something.
[re=495989]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: If you’re speaking of the 90999 number, I haven’t found anything to verify that 90% claim.
Re: Haiti relief organizations see: http://www.charitynavigator.org/
On a serious note:
Regent Univ. grad and Va, Gov.-in-waiting Bob McDonnell with his most favoritist eater-of-brains:
http://thinkprogress.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/robertsonprayermc.gif
[re=496019]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Only if you want to answer the highest judge of all.
[re=496002]DustBowlBlues[/re]: “How is the world of Sean O’Rushbeck and the other Teabaggers going to deal with this?”
The same way they deal with all inconvient facts: they’ll let it skate by.
[re=496024]S.Luggo[/re]: Thanks, Terry McAuliffe. Yr. vanity campaign for Gubnor of Real Virginia resulted in a marginally functional Dem candidate who lost to John Q. Evangelist.
At this rate Chuck Colson will be elected Preznit in 2012 and the First Assembly of God will open mandatory re-education camps in every city.
Movement FAIL.
Sorry, I’m feeling a little disheartened, what with Teddy Kennedy’s seat maybe going to some Republican military type and all.
fundraising idea: gw gets waterboarded by amputee iraq/afghanistan war vets. if he doesn’t snap, iraqi civilian amputees throw shoes at him… LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW.
After all this time that lying little shithead still has the look of someone in over his head.
[re=496030]obfuscator[/re]: Brilliant. And this thing could really be upscaled: Rush Limbaugh vs. Janeane Garofalo in a mano-a-mano cage math with tire irons and bullwhips, any execution (a real windfall for Texas), Pat Robertson vs. Benedict XVI going 10 rounds bareknuckle, Barney Frank having buttsex with Glenn Beck, it’s only limited by your imagination and America’s thirst for sex and blood… We could pay down the national debt in no time, pay for all those baby-boomers to get Viagra & vaginoplasty AND have single-payer healthcare to boot!
well that was disappointing. i didn’t want the b-list.
After the rose garden speech, Bush and Obama had an alpha dog tussle at the door of the Oval Office as to whom would usher in whom. Obama won. But it was telling that Clinton was the first to just walked right in, the most secure, or maybe the oldest alpha.
[re=496011]I Am Not Your Gary Busey[/re]: Totally unfair… Luke Wilson is a reasonably talented actor. It’s like they remade Chips with Eric Estrada and Kato Kaelin.
[re=496037]ladymacbeth[/re]: Needs more authentic black president.
Bush looks very uncomfortable helping poor people.
GBabyBush and Bill seem to have some kind of kneesies thing going on. Says a lot about both of them that they’d rather rub legs than give an inch. That’s what she said.
Didn’t Bill and Old George “run” the Asian Tsunami relief effort? From Bangkok? I always assumed that neither slept alone. Now Bill and Young George are “running” the Haiti earthquake relief effort? Is Old George getting too old? Or is No. 1 Wife Barbara watching the old man more closely these days? Do Laura and Hillary just want to get rid of their men for a while? even though they must know what sorts of shenanigans they’ll get up to.
[re=496040]Sparky McGruff[/re]: But so PUFFY, these days.
[re=496020]DustBowlBlues[/re]:
Good idea, wrong tool.
We need a Wonkette “Disaster Relief” Zeppelin.
That’s right, a five hundred foot peen shaped lighter-than-air ship capable of carrying 150 tons of emergency supplies. Unlike other types of air craft, it can hover indefinitely, operate at low altitudes and best of all it’s “green” consuming a fraction of energy to deliver the same amount of support. Best of all, we can equip it with the the worlds larges set of trucknutz.
If we paint it flesh tone we could probably sell ad space on the side to “Trojans”. When it’s not busy saving lives, we can float it over Tea Party functions or rent it out as a backdrop for gay pornos. The only thing we need to figure out is should we equip it with an impeller shroud in the shape of a foreskin, or should our zeppelin be cut?
[re=496016]SmutBoffin[/re]: That is very frightening. Douchethat looks like Trig. DNA test, pls.
As long as ‘w’ the bloody war criminal is walking around breathing uncaged air, Murka u.s.a. is seriously lacking in heart, spine and soul.
Shame on us.
George Bush doesn’t care about Barack people.
I watched with the volume down (for sanity). Why the hell is Bush so nervous?
[re=495983]El Pinche[/re]: I was thinking George and Lenny circa 1937
Thank goodness the Haitians are dark skinned Negros, as they make such better victims than light skin Negros.
[re=496020]DustBowlBlues[/re] /[re=496050]dijetlo[/re]: 2012.
This proves that Bush was a liberal. Conservatives need to get the message out and they will win back the White House in 2012
Dubya: One, two, three, four, I declare a Thumb War! With myself! Ha! Mission accomplished!
I didn’t listen – just watched it. How the hell did Bush get to be President- he looks like a moron and what is it wit his hands. By the way-I gve to Dcotors without Borders. I’m not texting anything. I see that thre is something asking credit card companies not to take their overhead on Haiti donations. I signed an on-line petition but I doubt Visa gives a fuck.
The chemistry between these two is incredible.
[re=496050]dijetlo[/re]: I think you have predicted the future. It fits right in with the “don’t let a good crisis go to waste”. We can look forward to seeing zeppelins floating over disasters on the news in the future. Just imagine a zeppelin floating over Haiti behind Anderson Cooper sponsored by Allstate with the words” Don’t delay, call for a quote today. ” How about “1-800- GOTJUNK “. Or for a renovation company. It would be capitalism at its finest.
[re=496064]finallyhappy[/re]: The four major companies have agreed to waive their fees on donations. They know they will make enough off of interest on those who will not make a full payment. They probably will be able to write off not collecting the fees as a loss, so its win-win.
Why do I keep thinking it’s the Oscars – is the prompter that fuzzy or far away? Are the cameramen naked? Or laughing too hard? And I kind of wonder – the only reason anyone ever gave these two money was because they wanted something in return. What do they have to offer now?…
They had to explain to Bush that he was going to become a soldier in the War on Earthquakes.
Shoulda had US Americans note on donation which ex-preznit they prefer. Triggering American desire for bloodsport + hatred of the other = win win. Clinton is a genius. Clearly wrote script, doled out lines. Flatters us, makes Shrub call him preznit. Gets top billing on fund.
Bush: We only hear the cries when there is massive human suffering. Heh heh, only kidding, remember New Orleans clusterfuck! (Meanie Bill wouldn’t let me play my guitar for you.)(Note Clinton’s slight pause with open mouth after Bush delivers that line.)
PSA will make lots think of SNL Hillary/Palin cold open. Clear win for Bill and Dems. Also too Jim, I laughed so hard at your post, esp. the coffee line, my asthma started to kick in.
All true facts.
Oh yeah, Jim = racist. Young Riley not racist. Jim, step down, you trollopy cunt.
you’ve got to love all those wingnuts rating videos over on youtube; a video with that awful negro michelle obama asking people to help haiti= 1 star, but a video featuring W, the greatest president ever, asking you to do same damn thing= 5 stars. i love the internets.
Maybe Sarah Palin would consider donating the money she made from a single day to Haiti relief:
Sarah Palin and her daughter, Bristol, “earned an eye-popping $100,000 for their new In Touch Weekly cover, “the New York Post reports.
They chose LIFE. And $100K!
OMG! I bet Obama will shake their hands or bow to them or something!
[re=496050]dijetlo[/re]: Actually, that is a really good idea.
[re=496078]chascates[/re]: That’s chump-change, Bill earns that in an hour:
http://projects.washingtonpost.com/2007/clinton-speeches/list/
When they finish their jobs and Haiti appears to be just incredibly sucky but not a tragedy of epic proportions, will George put on a Red Cross uniform and stride across a relief boat with a “Mission Accomplished” banner?
[re=496078]chascates[/re]: Does anyone know who owns In Touch? They need a letter from me.
If Mittens had a brain in his head, he would take time out from tying dogs to cars and put his “legendary” organizational skills to work on the rebuilding effort in Haiti. But that would involve hanging out in a place with no snow or snow-white people, so I guess he’s too busy fundraising for himself.
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