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If only we'd built one of these around Haiti...Iowa Rep. Steve King, the #1 asshole in Congress, is exhibiting the more compassionate side of his asshole today (gross) in response to the Haitian crisis. Like many wingnuts, Steve King does not support granting temporary protected status (TPS) to undocumented Haitians living within the United States — a.k.a. he don’t support none dem Mexicans gittin’ amnesty for their pact with Mister Satan, a known devil. But not because they’ll simply take more and more (if not all) of our seven remaining American jobs if we let them live here another 18 months! He just wants to deport them so they can help rebuild Haiti, as relief workers. It’s a win-win for no one, ceptin’ America.

“This sounds to me like open borders advocates exercising the Rahm Emanuel axiom: ‘Never let a crisis go to waste,’” Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, said in an e-mail message to ABCNews. “Illegal immigrants from Haiti have no reason to fear deportation but if they are deported, Haiti is in great need of relief workers and many of them could be a big help to their fellow Haitians.”

Bwahaha, they have nothing to fear! Haiti’s in great shape, don’t they read the NEWS? And whatever problems there are… well they’ll starve after a few days so whatever. They yearn to be deported, is the point!

Rep. King: Undocumented Haitians Should Be Deported Because Haiti Is In ‘Great Need Of Relief Workers’ [Think Progress]

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59 COMMENTS

  1. You see, Steve King doesn’t want to kick Mexicans out of America–he just wants to give them all the opportunity to go to the World Cup because he knows how much they love “el futbol.”

  2. For a while we thought Iraq would be the 51st state, but now it looks like it’ll be Haiti. At least they’re (maybe)not muslins! And, snarking aside, it might not be a bad idea.

  3. I know there are intelligent, well-intentioned conservatives, but your garden variety, in congress and media, are not only stupid, they are also very mean.

  4. ON one hand, I think, well, the kind of especially cruel douchbaggery will be a turnoff to the voters. Then I look around at my fellow okies, and realize, nah. It will make the Republics even more well loved among the Teabaggers.

    The Republics are such bad, bad, evil, bad, bad, evil, horrible people. But they do love Teabagging, don’t they?

  5. It really does take a horrible disaster like this for the worst wignuts to prove what truly evil people they really are; and justifies our hatred. Remember, these are the same people who blamed New Orleans’s poor for their own suffering after Katrina, since they didn’t get in their non-existent cars to flee the city, and called them whiners for asking the government to do its job.

  6. Fine. Deport them. But let’s detour them to Detroit first, spread a little relief, then move ’em south.

    [re=495656]Doglessliberal[/re]: (See Peter King, NY-R) # 1 A-hole + infinity.

  7. I called this in the other thread. It’s not like the dead ones are gonna do the work. And Rep King sure as fuck won’t, with those pretty, soft hands.

  8. It must be easy to be a Republican politician because knowing that there’s no chance in hell of getting any minority vote or most college-educated white people, all you have to worry about is appealing to dumb angry white people so you pretty much have free reign to be as stupid, hateful, and racist as you want to be.

  9. Tell me if I’ve got the Republican plan to save Haiti and America straight:

    Since the airport is clogged with traffic and the port is gone, the plan is to off-load the relief supplies from a C1, on-load a bunch of Haitians, equip them with parachutes then do a Berlin Air Lift so they can drop from the sky and save their countrymen?

    Shit. I knew I’d fuck it up. There’s no parachutes in the Republic plan.

  10. [re=495657]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I think “cruel douchebaggery” perfectly sums up the Republican/FOX/dittohead response to the Haitian catastrophe.

    Plus, Rahm was absolutely right when he said that, and anyway, it’s not his idea: he was just paraphrasing Lao Tzu.

  11. Jim, just exactly how did you arrive at your decision to name Steve King the #1 asshole in Congress? I mean, what were your criteria? There are many other members of that body who could provide very tough competition for this title.

  12. Rush Limbaugh would p’rolly take four or five of the young boys to be…um…”relief workers” (I guess that’s what the kids are calling it these days).

  13. [re=495755]Extemporanus[/re]: Your utterly disgusting description of Rush Limbaugh’s ejaculating penis has torally ruined “Winnie the Pooh” for me forever.

    WAY TO GO DICKFACE!

  14. [re=495772]Extemporanus[/re]: “torally” = “totally” after throwing-up in brain from typing the preceeding five words in that sentence.

  15. Oh, hell…..let the heartless motherfuckers keep on revealing themselves. By the time Election Day 2012 rolls around, they’ll have only themselves and the Klan in their corner.

  16. Give the “returnees” a batch of the M1 Garands that S. Korea sold back to ‘Murica, to reinstall a military junta that Steve King can really get behind in Port-au-Prince…That’s ch-ch-change douchetard can believe in!

  17. Uh, WTF? Deport them so they can be relief workers? Is this guy a sociopath? I just can’t believe it. Have they even seen pictures of what’s going on over there? What a fucking lunatic.

  18. Why is it always college educated unemployed white liberal arts majors that have to be the do gooders in 3rd world nations. I think it is time for the creole speaking black man to pick up the slack and be repatriated.

  19. Ha, ha, ha. Keith Olberman thinks that Rushbo’s cruel rants about the insignificance of the Haitians’ suffering is going to make the King unpopular. Come take a tour of the Bible Belt, Keith, where the real american christians are and try out that theory on them.

  20. Well, the meme on Haiti via Faux News is all the same: Sean O’Rushbeck says the fucking voodoo priest Haitians had it coming.

    Steve King knows his audience, my bleeding-heart wonkeratti friends. And his audience is made up of the douchebags like I live among. Bad, bad, evil people.

  21. [re=495649]gurukalehuru[/re]: Yes, it is. Before Gopher, it was Berkeley Bedell, inventer of monofilament fishing line — a far more reasonable man.

  22. You know, a hundred years ago, 1909, in what Steve King probably thinks were the Good Old Days, 70% of the people in NW Iowa were foreign-born (so the 1910 census). Somehow the sky did not fall! I knew quite a lot of those people when I was aboy in the 1950s-60s. They were my grandparents generation. Too bad King didn’t learn to be hard working and neighborly from them.

  23. John Edwards was right that there are two Americas, and the sooner we cut off the one full of Beck-Limbaugh-type wingnuts the happier I’ll be.

  24. “Steve King Wants To Deport Haitians, But Only So They Can Help Haiti!”
    Seems fair.
    I want to deport snowbillies to their exploding meth labs in Wasilla, but only if they stop cutting their crank.

    If you give, then you must get.

  25. If King,et al., deport all the Haitians and Mexicans, etc., who will do all the work? “Real” Americans are too fat to do much beyond eat cheese doodles and shoot beer bottles. (Witness yesterday’s photo of King carrying his gut in a wheelbarrow!)

  26. He should go to Haiti and see for himself but that would mean going overseas to dem messican countries where they don’t speak no merkun and you can’t drink the water.

  27. Wow I thought the Stephen King the writer thought up some evil shit. Steven King the congressman is by far and away infinitely more capable in the thinking up evil shit department.

  28. Has King–the ultra white one, not the black one whose memory we will celebrate shortly–considered calling his bill a jobs bill to help the economy get back on track, or was it crack?

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