• May 26, 2012
NATION OF MEANIES

January 15, 2010

Steve King Wants To Deport Haitians, But Only So They Can Help Haiti!

by Jim Newell  

If only we'd built one of these around Haiti...Iowa Rep. Steve King, the #1 asshole in Congress, is exhibiting the more compassionate side of his asshole today (gross) in response to the Haitian crisis. Like many wingnuts, Steve King does not support granting temporary protected status (TPS) to undocumented Haitians living within the United States — a.k.a. he don’t support none dem Mexicans gittin’ amnesty for their pact with Mister Satan, a known devil. But not because they’ll simply take more and more (if not all) of our seven remaining American jobs if we let them live here another 18 months! He just wants to deport them so they can help rebuild Haiti, as relief workers. It’s a win-win for no one, ceptin’ America.

“This sounds to me like open borders advocates exercising the Rahm Emanuel axiom: ‘Never let a crisis go to waste,’” Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, said in an e-mail message to ABCNews. “Illegal immigrants from Haiti have no reason to fear deportation but if they are deported, Haiti is in great need of relief workers and many of them could be a big help to their fellow Haitians.”

Bwahaha, they have nothing to fear! Haiti’s in great shape, don’t they read the NEWS? And whatever problems there are… well they’ll starve after a few days so whatever. They yearn to be deported, is the point!

Rep. King: Undocumented Haitians Should Be Deported Because Haiti Is In ‘Great Need Of Relief Workers’ [Think Progress]

{ 59 comments }

Long Form Def Certificate January 15, 2010 at 4:35 pm

When your name is Steve, a bad personality is inevitable.

doxastic January 15, 2010 at 4:38 pm

You see, Steve King doesn’t want to kick Mexicans out of America–he just wants to give them all the opportunity to go to the World Cup because he knows how much they love “el futbol.”

V572625694 January 15, 2010 at 4:40 pm

For a while we thought Iraq would be the 51st state, but now it looks like it’ll be Haiti. At least they’re (maybe)not muslins! And, snarking aside, it might not be a bad idea.

gurukalehuru January 15, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Biggest embarrassment to the state of Iowa since Gopher from “The Love Boat.” In fact, I think it might be the same district.

proudgrampa January 15, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Jesus. What a dick. Assholes like him make me ashamed of America.

charlesdegoal January 15, 2010 at 4:41 pm

I know there are intelligent, well-intentioned conservatives, but your garden variety, in congress and media, are not only stupid, they are also very mean.

Sharkey January 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm

Don’t “deport” them, just “recycle” them. It’s more politically correct when you put it that way.

Doglessliberal January 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm

I think #1 Asshole in Congress is a floating title, and there are several perennial titleholders.

DustBowlBlues January 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm

ON one hand, I think, well, the kind of especially cruel douchbaggery will be a turnoff to the voters. Then I look around at my fellow okies, and realize, nah. It will make the Republics even more well loved among the Teabaggers.

The Republics are such bad, bad, evil, bad, bad, evil, horrible people. But they do love Teabagging, don’t they?

Long Form Def Certificate January 15, 2010 at 4:43 pm

[re=495649]gurukalehuru[/re]: They’re just getting even for Dodd “moving to” Iowa during his Prexy run.

Doglessliberal January 15, 2010 at 4:45 pm

[re=495657]DustBowlBlues[/re]: But they’ve managed to ruin the name of a perfectly nice sex act, sort of a reverse Santorum.

JMP January 15, 2010 at 4:47 pm

It really does take a horrible disaster like this for the worst wignuts to prove what truly evil people they really are; and justifies our hatred. Remember, these are the same people who blamed New Orleans’s poor for their own suffering after Katrina, since they didn’t get in their non-existent cars to flee the city, and called them whiners for asking the government to do its job.

bitchincamaro January 15, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Fine. Deport them. But let’s detour them to Detroit first, spread a little relief, then move ‘em south.

[re=495656]Doglessliberal[/re]: (See Peter King, NY-R) # 1 A-hole + infinity.

Gopherit January 15, 2010 at 4:49 pm

I called this in the other thread. It’s not like the dead ones are gonna do the work. And Rep King sure as fuck won’t, with those pretty, soft hands.

Hooray For Anything January 15, 2010 at 5:03 pm

It must be easy to be a Republican politician because knowing that there’s no chance in hell of getting any minority vote or most college-educated white people, all you have to worry about is appealing to dumb angry white people so you pretty much have free reign to be as stupid, hateful, and racist as you want to be.

DustBowlBlues January 15, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Tell me if I’ve got the Republican plan to save Haiti and America straight:

Since the airport is clogged with traffic and the port is gone, the plan is to off-load the relief supplies from a C1, on-load a bunch of Haitians, equip them with parachutes then do a Berlin Air Lift so they can drop from the sky and save their countrymen?

Shit. I knew I’d fuck it up. There’s no parachutes in the Republic plan.

One Yield Regular January 15, 2010 at 5:14 pm

[re=495657]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I think “cruel douchebaggery” perfectly sums up the Republican/FOX/dittohead response to the Haitian catastrophe.

Plus, Rahm was absolutely right when he said that, and anyway, it’s not his idea: he was just paraphrasing Lao Tzu.

Gopherit January 15, 2010 at 5:17 pm

If any of you live in Texas or Arkansas, might I wish you a mighty FUCK YOU for your 4 day weekend. I hope MLK’s ghost shits on your states.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confederate_Memorial_Day

slappypaddy January 15, 2010 at 5:18 pm

steve king, descendant of wretched refuse

EdFlinstone January 15, 2010 at 5:20 pm

Actually this is just phase 1 of King’s plan, in phase 2 every haitian takes 10 messicans with em to Haiti.

Aurelio January 15, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Jim, just exactly how did you arrive at your decision to name Steve King the #1 asshole in Congress? I mean, what were your criteria? There are many other members of that body who could provide very tough competition for this title.

dijetlo January 15, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Rush Limbaugh would p’rolly take four or five of the young boys to be…um…”relief workers” (I guess that’s what the kids are calling it these days).

Extemporanus January 15, 2010 at 5:32 pm

[re=495653]Sharkey[/re]: The official government term is “recyclugee”.

Barrelhse January 15, 2010 at 5:33 pm

[re=495649]gurukalehuru[/re]: Same district, if not the same parents.

Gopherit January 15, 2010 at 5:50 pm

[re=495705]dijetlo[/re]: Milking Rushbo’s prostate isn’t a relief for anyone but Rushbo.

S.Luggo January 15, 2010 at 5:56 pm

King wants the returnees to learn this Iowa work-ethic song:
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~brt/expecting/songs/pickabail.html
Note original lyrics.

Extemporanus January 15, 2010 at 5:56 pm

[re=495745]Gopherit[/re]: It’s the most difficult relief effort in history.

Gopherit January 15, 2010 at 6:02 pm

[re=495755]Extemporanus[/re]: Never have so few done so much to make someone so undeserving shudder like a cold piglet.

Extemporanus January 15, 2010 at 6:21 pm

[re=495755]Extemporanus[/re]: Your utterly disgusting description of Rush Limbaugh’s ejaculating penis has torally ruined “Winnie the Pooh” for me forever.

WAY TO GO DICKFACE!

Delicious January 15, 2010 at 6:23 pm

Newell, we need to talk about your TPS reports…did you get the memo?

Gopherit January 15, 2010 at 6:24 pm

[re=495772]Extemporanus[/re]: Wait, Rush gave winnie a facial? No wonder Eyore is always depressed. That’d be horrible to see.

Extemporanus January 15, 2010 at 6:25 pm

[re=495772]Extemporanus[/re]: “torally” = “totally” after throwing-up in brain from typing the preceeding five words in that sentence.

Diana Davies January 15, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Is he one of the singing asshole King family?

Scoops McGee January 15, 2010 at 6:35 pm

Oh, hell…..let the heartless motherfuckers keep on revealing themselves. By the time Election Day 2012 rolls around, they’ll have only themselves and the Klan in their corner.

Guppy06 January 15, 2010 at 6:37 pm

[re=495647]V572625694[/re]: No can do: they speak French.

Guppy06 January 15, 2010 at 6:39 pm

And why Do Republicans insist on confusing Rahm Emanuel with Karl Rove, a literal turd blossom?

schvitzatura January 15, 2010 at 7:18 pm

Give the “returnees” a batch of the M1 Garands that S. Korea sold back to ‘Murica, to reinstall a military junta that Steve King can really get behind in Port-au-Prince…That’s ch-ch-change douchetard can believe in!

Asa Hawks January 15, 2010 at 7:25 pm

Uh, WTF? Deport them so they can be relief workers? Is this guy a sociopath? I just can’t believe it. Have they even seen pictures of what’s going on over there? What a fucking lunatic.

Can O Whoopass January 15, 2010 at 8:18 pm

King & Rush want a separate “White” house built by the Haitians in Richmond, then attack Fort Sumpter.

Paul Tardy January 15, 2010 at 8:26 pm

Why is it always college educated unemployed white liberal arts majors that have to be the do gooders in 3rd world nations. I think it is time for the creole speaking black man to pick up the slack and be repatriated.

sleptwithyetti January 15, 2010 at 8:40 pm

I think Steve might have made a mistake and HIT THE WRONG FUCKING BUTTON a while back.

DustBowlBlues January 15, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Ha, ha, ha. Keith Olberman thinks that Rushbo’s cruel rants about the insignificance of the Haitians’ suffering is going to make the King unpopular. Come take a tour of the Bible Belt, Keith, where the real american christians are and try out that theory on them.

DustBowlBlues January 15, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Well, the meme on Haiti via Faux News is all the same: Sean O’Rushbeck says the fucking voodoo priest Haitians had it coming.

Steve King knows his audience, my bleeding-heart wonkeratti friends. And his audience is made up of the douchebags like I live among. Bad, bad, evil people.

zhubajie January 15, 2010 at 9:20 pm

[re=495649]gurukalehuru[/re]: Yes, it is. Before Gopher, it was Berkeley Bedell, inventer of monofilament fishing line — a far more reasonable man.

AddHomonym January 15, 2010 at 9:23 pm

[re=495704]Aurelio[/re]: #1 = king QED. It’s good to be the (Steve) King, also.

zhubajie January 15, 2010 at 9:36 pm

You know, a hundred years ago, 1909, in what Steve King probably thinks were the Good Old Days, 70% of the people in NW Iowa were foreign-born (so the 1910 census). Somehow the sky did not fall! I knew quite a lot of those people when I was aboy in the 1950s-60s. They were my grandparents generation. Too bad King didn’t learn to be hard working and neighborly from them.

imissopus January 15, 2010 at 9:47 pm

John Edwards was right that there are two Americas, and the sooner we cut off the one full of Beck-Limbaugh-type wingnuts the happier I’ll be.

zhubajie January 15, 2010 at 10:03 pm

[re=495690]Gopherit[/re]: Don’t forget KY celebrating Jeff Davis’ birthday.

Boondock Saint January 15, 2010 at 10:19 pm

NO WAY! I WANT all the Haitian gangs to stay in south Florida.

S.Luggo January 15, 2010 at 11:14 pm

“Steve King Wants To Deport Haitians, But Only So They Can Help Haiti!”
Seems fair.
I want to deport snowbillies to their exploding meth labs in Wasilla, but only if they stop cutting their crank.

If you give, then you must get.

zhubajie January 15, 2010 at 11:56 pm

If King,et al., deport all the Haitians and Mexicans, etc., who will do all the work? “Real” Americans are too fat to do much beyond eat cheese doodles and shoot beer bottles. (Witness yesterday’s photo of King carrying his gut in a wheelbarrow!)

Pat Pending January 16, 2010 at 12:41 am

In my filthy past, I fucked three guys (separately) named Steve. They were all lousy.

skutre January 16, 2010 at 1:50 am

[re=495907]Pat Pending[/re]: That’s why I changed my name to Scooter

InnerSide Radio MP3
The History of Haiti
to 1800:: Scooter with Clif Smith

Also:Staci does Fox Gnus’ Sarah Palin, also

AnSnarkist January 16, 2010 at 10:05 am

[re=495776]Delicious[/re]: More like talking point memo, am I right?

kudzu January 16, 2010 at 11:51 am

He should go to Haiti and see for himself but that would mean going overseas to dem messican countries where they don’t speak no merkun and you can’t drink the water.

Beowoof January 16, 2010 at 1:44 pm

Wow I thought the Stephen King the writer thought up some evil shit. Steven King the congressman is by far and away infinitely more capable in the thinking up evil shit department.

desertwind January 16, 2010 at 2:28 pm

What a damn shame he didn’t choke on his ACORN Christmas cookie.

Custersdeadhorse January 16, 2010 at 9:29 pm

Has King–the ultra white one, not the black one whose memory we will celebrate shortly–considered calling his bill a jobs bill to help the economy get back on track, or was it crack?

artpepper January 17, 2010 at 9:19 pm

Haiti is in great need of relief workers? I though Haiti was in great need of a fucking air strip.

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