mexicans mexicans la-dee-da

Fox News: How To Exploit Haitian Crisis… Well, This Is A Start!

GRRR, BARACK OBAMA MAKEY SO ANGRY! Now let’s compare this Fox headline to a grown-up’s headline: “Obama halts deportations of undocumented Haitian immigrants, urged to grant ‘protected status.’” So what Obama is doing, at the urging of most rational, humane people, is halting Haitian deportations during a humanitarian crisis back in Haiti. It’s a fairly standard practice. UNLESS YOU’RE FOX! Wokka wokka! [Media Matters]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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93 comments

  1. Hed007

    Never have so many slanted headlines come out since Doucheus Maximus invented the first Internet Webzine for Ceaser (Augustus, not the other guy).

  2. Gopherit

    It’s not like Haiti is gonna be rebuilt by all those dead people. Also, 9/11. Send those terrorists home.

  3. JohnnyMac

    If those young girls in low-cut tops were WHITE I’m sure Fox would have no problems finding a position for them on O’Reily’s staff.

  4. Cape Clod

    Because definately what Haiti needs more of right now are people without any means or resources.

  5. DustBowlBlues

    Thank, Jim. I logged onto to “my” wonkette for a quick read on what dickish thing Fox et all have done today. You never disappoint. Is the devil expanding hell so he can accommodate all these douches? Please, please, please let Rush into the HItler wing.

  6. freakishlystrong

    [re=495468]S.Luggo[/re]: I’m not sure what’s more offensive, the whole of his hypocritical toxicity or the fucking “democrat” shit.

  7. JMP

    Yes, because by refusing to force people back to a country that has literally fallen apart, Obama is appeasing the enormously powerful illegal aliens’ lobby and hurting our country by something something.

    Well, it’s more the buildings that have literally fallen apart; the country itself has more shaken apart.

    And there is nothing racist about the paranoia about so-called “illegal aliens”, not at all.

  8. Paul Tardy

    [re=495468]S.Luggo[/re]: When you are talking Navy it’s meals on helicopters, meals on wheels is the Army/Police/Special Police Force.

  9. Elephants Gerald

    From the comments on the FOX page:
    “A new survey found that the most popular spanish phrase spoken in the United States today is “Yo soy de Haiti.” Haitian immigrantion to California has spiked – up 3000% in some areas. President Obama is expected to comment soon, after frisking as many greedy bankers as he can.”

    Just fucking stunning. Oui? Non?

  10. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Did Obama give Amnesty to the Californians after their earthquake? I think not. More Socialist bias.

    And Rush is right, we shouldn’t send money to Haiti; they will just waste it on the poor people. If Obama was truly compassionate, he would cut the Capital gains tax in the name of the dead of Haiti.

  11. arewethereyet

    god i wish all the haitian-americans would show up in that limpdicks driveway ….i didn’t see a thing officer.

  12. give us a bob

    This reminds of me that joke in the movie The Day After Tomorrow where the US negotiates unconditional amnesty from the Mexican gov’t for all the refugees headed south.

    I realize now that was a joke and total fiction.

    Next time something crappy happens to the US, Mexico and Haiti are both gonna be like, “We don’t want them dirty gringos messing up our country! Let’m starve!”

  13. S.Luggo

    [re=495478]Elephants Gerald[/re]: Another comment from FoxNation:
    “what an ignorant SOB trying to buy votes at every chance he gets at the expense of horrible catastrophies”
    *****
    Yah! Why must horrible catastrophies suffer just so that Barry can get more votes? Has he no shame?

  14. Monsieur Grumpe

    Troops serving as Meals on Wheels probably wouldn’t produce as many PTSD victims. Good idea Limpballs.

  15. Paul Tardy

    [re=495481]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: How about cut the CG tax on investments in Haiti. I have an idea for a bar and the chick in the picture is the center piece.

  16. JMP

    [re=495478]Elephants Gerald[/re]: So not only are the Fox commenters xenophobic racist, they don’t even know what language Haitians speak. Not surprising, really.

  17. Cape Clod

    [re=495468]S.Luggo[/re]: Somebody should tell the troops on duty in Iraq and Afganistan that Rush claims they are nothing but a bunch of glorified social workers.

  18. iwillsavethispatient

    Isn’t it lucky there was no disaster awaiting Fox wherever they deported their brains to. All those brains, living free and unhindered by being stuck in the Fox echo-chamber. My heart grows a size just thinking about it!

  19. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    “A new survey found that the most popular spanish phrase spoken in the United States today is “Yo soy de Haiti.”

    Why would Haitians in the US need to tell people they’re from Haiti in Spanish?

  20. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    …Oh, I get it now.

    What exactly is the causal relationship between Fox viewership and brain rot?

  21. JMP

    [re=495468]S.Luggo[/re]: After the tsunami disaster I don’t remember Rushbo or the others condemning the efforts to actually help victims. But of course, the Republican’s Dear Leader was in charge then, and they generally aren’t quite as racist against Asians as blacks.

  22. Doglessliberal

    Oh, and speaking of racist pigs, our soon-to-be-Governor McDonnell (who went to Robertson’s university and is a “good friend” of Robertson) has come out and said Robertson will still be at his inaugural.

    Virginia is fucked.

  23. PrairiePossum

    [re=495468]S.Luggo[/re]:

    Nothing makes Limbaugh angrier than the thought of someone else getting a meal before he does.

  24. doxastic

    Fox News finds it greedy, disgusting and probably socialist for “those people” to ask for anything beyond prayers.

  25. blinky_twinkie

    [re=495468]S.Luggo[/re]: This fucking behemoth sack of shit fucktard evil pasty-assed son of a bitch motherfucker has absolutely reached the limit. Just the god damned limit.

  26. Hooray For Anything

    Like most things concerning FOX, it’s easy to snark and laugh at, but right now there are millions of uneducated white people in all those red/purple states in a full-lathered froth over the thought of a black President letting in more black people and praying to Jeebus that Sarah Palin deliver them from this evil. And, unfortunately, a lot of them vote.

  27. BaconTime

    Clearly they did not have any Hatian-American pics on file since they had to use one from the earthquake which none of these illegal immigrants were at.

  28. AxmxZ

    [re=495487]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: It’d probably be easier to win over a Taliban-controlled village with a bunch of Meals on Wheels trucks guarded by a company of Marines than just the company of Marines.

  29. doxastic

    [re=495478]Elephants Gerald[/re]: I can’t quite tell though if saying you’re Haitian in Spanish is part of the “joke” or if the author really doesn’t know his Francophones from his Spanish-speakers.

  30. sarcasticusername

    [re=495484]give us a bob[/re]: those few lines almost redeemed an otherwise ridiculous movie.

    why don’t massive earthquakes ever strike areas housing large quantities of wingnut douchebaggery; like GOP conventions, Fox headquarters, or Dick Cheney’s bunker?

  31. AxmxZ

    [re=495509]doxastic[/re]: It’s pretty obvious that in what passes for the mind with this FOX viewer, fags speak French and darkies speak Messican.

  32. Crankenstank

    Ah, Fox, managed to work a little decolletage into a news story making political hay out of a grievous human tragedy. Triple Play!!

  33. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=495515]Crankenstank[/re]: But those are black boobies, and thus something we clearly want to KEEP OUT unless they are starring in the black lesbian porn that all racist Christian conservatives inevitably fap to.

    Fuck, I hate this country’s inhabitants sometimes. I’m so glad I have Wonkette to turn to when I need something to read while drinking the anger away.

  34. JMP

    [re=495502]blinky_twinkie[/re]: I’m just hoping that maybe this time the asshole has gone so far over the line that some of my conservative friends who like to listen to him may have finally had enough.

  35. snideinplainsight

    Maybe next time there’s an earthquake they can arrange it to hit a convention of former Victoria’s Secret models.

  36. Elephants Gerald

    [re=495509]doxastic[/re]: The more I think about it, the more I think it was a “joke” – but then I think, why would someone with a marginal sense of humor be lurking and replying at a site where good spelling involves capslok? Wouldn’t someone that bright be a liberal who would read more than the headlines? So then I think, he probably doesn’t know.

    And then I think, where the hell is the corkscrew?

  37. crookedlawyer

    Well, in a way, they’re certainly right. With his Kenyan voodoo mind tricks, the President went back in time and signed into law the provision of the Immigration and Nationality Act that provides temporary protected status for non-citizens (both documented and not) whose home countries are subject to massive humanitarian crises to stay while they get sorted out.

  38. Sara in the West

    [re=495502]blinky_twinkie[/re]: I didn’t think there actually was a combination of words that expressed my feelings about that pencil-dicked bugfucker but you have captured it perfectly. Thank you.

  39. slappypaddy

    fuck fox. fuck fox and limbo and all their fellow travelers.

    this from huffpo: “The State Department tweets that Americans have now donated more than $9 million for Haiti relief via text message.”

    go team america!

  40. Ducksworthy

    [re=495494]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: I actually think this may be that rarest of hater artifacts, an attempt at humor as in now that Satan/Obama has granted amnesty to all Haitians forever, all illegal’s want to pretend that they’re Haitians. Not that I want to defend these imbeciles (that’s French for imbeciles) but an attempt at humor suggests that a few synapses are still firing in this individual and that gives me hope.

  41. Flanders

    [re=495458]JohnnyMac[/re]: OMG, a female positioning herself on O’Reilly’s staff, ugh, what a visual! Oh, what’s that? You didn’t mean *that* kind of staff?

  42. El Pinche

    I’m surprised FoxNews even has “reporters” on the ground in Haiti and not monitoring Palin’s facebook. Damn, these whiney black people and their stupid Earthquake!!

  43. Flanders

    [re=495485]S.Luggo[/re]: “buy vote”? Jeebus, these people are so poor they don’t even have a vote to sell!

  44. JohnnyMac

    [re=495549]Flanders[/re]: Actually I did mean it that way, but I didn’t draw attention to the pun to avoid anyone suing me for causing them hysterical blindness.

  45. coochiemama

    Some wingnuts informed me that Limbaugh has started something called “tweeking the the media” or somesuch.

    He gets to say outrageous lies (military = mow, obama = satan, etc), sit smugly in the midst of the ensuing shitstorm, then claim he was only ‘playing’ with us dumb libruls.

    Brilliant, eh?

  46. El Pinche

    [re=495468]S.Luggo[/re]: Obviously Rush is desperate for attention.

    Yes, I wish for a Chan wook-park style death for Rush, in front of his followers..preferably on youtube so I can laugh my ass off.

    You bet I’m hatey right now. I saw some pictures of kids smashed under rubble and parents crying next to their gore, and then I hear Rush spew this garbage. So it’s natural I’d like to see someone connect a car battery to his balls and watch his boiled eyes ooze out of his fat bloated head .

  47. JMP

    [re=495532]crookedlawyer[/re]: But he’s allowing some ILLEGAL ALIENS a temporary amnesty; doesn’t he know that they are the worst people in the world, trying to get a bet shot at life, and threaten America with the vile way they don’t have the proper papers?

    [re=495547]Ducksworthy[/re]: Methinks you are overestimating the intelligence & humor of Fox news fans.

  48. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    @Ducksworthy: I see where you’re coming from, but it’s really hard to give the benefit of the doubt to a random racist Fox News comment without context. (Unlike the racist comments at Wonkette, which are totally in fun. Hah?)

    Not that I want to defend these imbeciles (that’s French for imbeciles)

    *takes notes* French is hard….

  49. BlueStateLibtard

    [re=495468]S.Luggo[/re]: Yet, if it was a bunch of fat nasty bankers and Wall Streeters stranded on a desert island, Limbaugh would be wanting Special Forces to deliver cavier, filet mignon and champagne to them, and then lovingly tuck them into bed.

  50. Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=495462]Sussemilch[/re]: Isn’t Murdoch Australian? Isn’t frequent FOX contributor Tony Blankley English?

    Seems certain immigrant classes are alright by FNC.

    Not to mention: Star Parker was a welfare queen. Charles Krauthammer is a cripple. & Shep Smith, of course, is teh ghey.

  51. DoktorZoom

    If Fox News had been around in 1942, they’d have complained about Roosevelt sending all those west-coast Japanese folks to summer camp at taxpayers’ expense.

  52. MzNicky

    [re=495571]S.Luggo[/re]: I’d like to see the nation react rapidly to divide Beck, perhaps by cleaving him with an axe straight down the middle from his protuberant bile-riddled head and slicing between his lungs and through his lard-laden abdomen and gargantuan ass unto his teeny wienie, rending him into two symmetrical halves. Or, a good old-fashioned drawing and quartering, yanking out his intestines with pliers and piling them up next to his vomitous pie-hole then setting them on fire before binding his arms and legs to four slathering, wild-eyed horses and sending them off in different directions, and then we pay illegal immigrant Haitians lots of money to kick what’s left of his bulbous head to a bloody pulp and stomp up and down on his disemboweled limbless torso. And Rash Phlegmball too also.

  53. Dr. Zoidberg

    [re=495624]MzNicky[/re]: I am intrigued by your views and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    Also, I’d like 4 front-row tickets to any of those happenings.

  54. MzNicky

    By the way: When did we permit the wingtards to replace the word “refugee” with “illegal,” and “alien,” and “immigrant”? I must have been absent that day.

  55. proudgrampa

    Jesus.
    Beck, Limbaugh, Robertson, Fox, et cetera, ad nauseum, ad infinitum: absolutely pathetic.

  56. JMP

    [re=495602]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: Don’t be silly; Blankley and Murdoch, as white people, are expatriates, or expats; only the dark people (and maybe Eastern Europeans) are dirty immigrants/aliens.

  57. Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=495629]MzNicky[/re]: It’s a cruel misuse of libtard Tom Petty’s lament at suffering life as a displaced person.

  58. Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=495639]JMP[/re]: At least it works in reverse, when White Americans end up slumming it in Paris or Glasgow or Prague for a bit after college (or after dropping out of college after three semesters).

  59. policonoclast

    i checked the comments on this one not to see who be hatin’ FAUX news, but just to see if anyone else thought those are some awfully nice tatas to feature in a story that’s supposed to make me sad.

  60. Neilist

    If the buildings in Haiti had the same strong, firm foundations as the Ta-Tas those young ladies are sporting, the whole terrible tragedy could have been avoided, and they’d be celebrating Sunday Mass in the Cathedral WITH a roof . . . .

  61. AxmxZ

    I finally figured out what was ‘wrong’ with the picture. None of these people are morbidly obese.

  62. S.Luggo

    [re=495824]AxmxZ[/re]:
    Notice in the middle of the pack of future Florida orange grove pickers: a tiny, silent women in a white Hijab, with a newly-minted US visa and twenty pounds of shape-charged C4 strapped to her lady region. And so it begins, and so it begins.

    Thank you, Mister B. Hussein Al-Jezerra Jihadi Kenyatta Marx Obama.

  63. BeWoot

    [re=495485]S.Luggo[/re]: Yeah. Illegal Haitian aliens always turn out in droves to vote. They’re a major target demographic for political consultants of both parties. Always have been.

  64. Escape Goat Nation

    FYI: the readers and commenters of FoxNation are the stupidest motherfuckers on the face of the planet.

  65. Weeping Jesus

    [re=495652]policonoclast[/re]: That’s a teaser for the 2010 calendar. This year it’s called “Meals on Heels”.

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