AMERICA'S GREATEST CAMPAIGNS  1:14 pm January 15, 2010

Democrats Bring Out All The Stops In Blitz For Coakley

by Jim Newell

Hey, does anyone know anything about this Martha Coakley lady? Well in that case, here’s our campaign strategy: KENNEDY KENNEDY KENNEDY TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDYTED KENNEDYTED KENNEDYTED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY. Then say “Swift Boat!” too, because that’s what they did to dead KENNEDYTED back in aught-four. It was terrible! [DSCC]

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SayItWithWookies January 15, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Well the Tea Partiers — who Scott Brown has never heard of — just emailed me something addressed to “Rhode Islander’s.” So they’re on the case. And apparently the gratuitous apostrophe is like their secret fish symbol or something. Anyway, if you’re gonna mobilize the masses, speak in a language they can understand.

But what Coakley really should be saying is: “If these idiots get Brown elected, we’re going to have to hear their stupid more often and louder. Think about it.”

Come here a minute January 15, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Why didn’t she get a name change in before the filing deadline? She would win 100% of the vote if her name was Martha Kennedy.

Extemporanus January 15, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Good thing the Democrats didn’t pull out all the stops, or Coakley might’ve had a chance to win this thing.

Fox News Light January 15, 2010 at 1:32 pm

This is a classic tortoise and the hare scenario but u would think the hairy naked dude would be the hare but hke is actually the tortoise

Joshua Norton January 15, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Talk about beating a dead person to death….

Extemporanus January 15, 2010 at 1:33 pm

[re=495424]Come here a minute[/re]: A “Lina Coakley” would generate much more excitement.

Monsieur Grumpe January 15, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Needs more 9/11.

Lascauxcaveman January 15, 2010 at 1:34 pm

[re=495428]Extemporanus[/re]: Jimmy’s prolly never played a big-ass ol’ pipe organ, so he doesn’t know the origin of the phrase.

Escape Goat Nation January 15, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Rasmussen has Brown up by 137 points!

JSDC007 January 15, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Hey, if the right can flog the dead carcass of Reagan, Kennedy’s old cadaver’s up for the same misuse.

El Pinche January 15, 2010 at 1:44 pm

Relax we’re toast. Amurrka is dumb.

V572625694 January 15, 2010 at 1:52 pm

But but Highly Talented Baby Luke Russert was saying on teh MSNBC this morning that a deal’s in the works on health care, maybe before this MA debacle takes away the dumbocrats need to meet the constitutionally mandated whimsical Senate rule requiring 60 votes to do anything but designate a National Fossil.

El Pinche January 15, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Great, I don’t have to read my email then. If it’s not Dodd or Obama bugging me, it’s Phizer trying to make my dick harder.

S.Luggo January 15, 2010 at 1:54 pm

[re=495438]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: What? You’ve already seen Rassmussen’s pole to taken next Monday?

rocktonsammy January 15, 2010 at 1:59 pm

FOX news is running a banner “Hope and fear in Haiti.

God damn them FOX people! All of them.

Gopherit January 15, 2010 at 2:09 pm

[re=495438]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: You’ve been watching FOx, haven’t you?

dr.giraud January 15, 2010 at 2:11 pm

[re=495434]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Coakley HAD her own 9/11. It was 1/31/07. And the terrorists, er, Mooninites won.

torera January 15, 2010 at 2:30 pm

If Brown wins, another “populist revolt” will have killed once again any hope of realistic financial regulation, leaving the bankers and Wall Street where they’ve always been: in charge of your life, you dumb stupids. Why do the Amurrican people fall for this crap every freakin time?

(And if healthcare is the only thing you care about, think about the fact that this special election is only to fill out the remainder of Kennedy’s term – which will end just when most of those terrifying reforms take effect. You’ll get a do-over then, after having given big business, big agro, and big bonus-land another 3 years of TIME TO PART-AY.)

Berkeley Bear January 15, 2010 at 2:55 pm

This stupid idea its all about healthcare is driving me nuts. The MA system apparently takes weeks to get to a result, by which time the cloture votes will be long over. Dems should be focusing on all the other crap folks in Mass do support and Brown can’t as a Republican hack (repeal DOMA, DADT, immigration reform, bank reform, etc.) not a non-issue.

But yet again, the Dems wind up accepting the lowest common message set by the GOP.

Long Form Def Certificate January 15, 2010 at 4:38 pm

[re=495440]JSDC007[/re]: Body’s warmer, too. & better preserved.

/liquor better than hair-dye

zeroitems January 15, 2010 at 5:08 pm

exploitation? probably, but to be fair this would constitute some major cosmic irony.

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