Exciting White House Coke Scandal Was Just A Prank!

  nobody uses straight razors anymore

Nobody uses snifters in the White House eitherHey so here is a thing! Once upon a long time ago (earlier this week, when your editor was busy Googling “galloway drink-soaked popinjay”) somebody took a picture of what looked suspiciously like ILLEGAL POWDERED DRUGS and said basically “Long day at the office, you would not BELIEVE where the office is BTW” and then posted the photo and comment to 4chan, whereupon somebody looked at the metadata on the photo and figured out it was COMING FROM INSIDE THE (WHITE) HOUSE. Except probably not!

Because, see, wouldn’t that be too convenient, for somebody inside the White House to send a photo to a squalid bed of notorious Internet prankery and snoopiness? Also apparently the elevation listed in the GPS coordinates in the metadata is 160 feet above sea level, which DUH, the White House is a mere 60 feet above sea level. This is something we all learn in second grade, after we memorize the states in alphabetical order.

Bottom line is, if Joe Biden is doing blow at work, IT’S STILL A SECRET.

Is Someone Doing Blow in the White House? [BlackBook]
Cocaine at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue [BrightestYoungThings]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith