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So, here’s this new Sarah Palin thing, in which, miraculously she is unable to name a founding father and eventually settles on George Washington, America’s first non-Ronald Reagan President. Glenn Beck (rightly!) gets to feel superior. Absolutely heartbreaking. [The Awl]

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165 COMMENTS

  1. Her heart and her brain must be so big to fit all of everything in them. All Founding Fathers are her, like, totes faves, and, remember, she reads every single newspaper on the planet each day.

    She is more evolved than all of us. Also.

  2. In her defense, many people who are well versed in the history of the time would rate him as #1. I’m not saying she’s not stupid, just that this doesn’t really qualify as proof.
    Ask her about her favorite Civil War general or her favorite Suffragette, then we’ll see the stupid fly, boy howdy.

  3. Later in the interview, Shreck asked Payin who her favorte porn stars are.

    “All of them!” she said, adding, “Ron Jeremy, John Holmes and Jenna Jameson are personal favorites, though.”

  4. This is gonna go on for a while isn’t it? I mean, every time she opens her pie hole we’re gonna see a clip aren’t we?

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffin’ glue.

  5. First off, you libtards need to know the difference between fair/balanced and gotcha journaljizm:

    Not gotcha: Who’s your favorite founder?

    Gotcha: Who’s your favorite McDonald’s clown?

  6. Man, Sarah’s gotten so infamously pathetic in interviews that now even she herself is mocking her.

    When Glenn Beck gets to feel superior to you, and has good reason to do so, it’s beyond pathetic into just shoot yourself territory.

  7. Beck’s been watching Inside the Actor’s Studio. I would like to have seen her answer the old “What is your favorite word” question.

    She literally glows with relief that she was able to remember Washington, after stalling for so long with that “they came together, collectively, they came together, but diversely, forwarding the the collective unity of this great precious freedom-lovin’ land, with their diverse diversity, but together, collectively,” while her brain sputtered and strained to come up with a founder’s name, and finally the flash, and a huge wave of relief as the panic recedes and she recovers with “but Washington, of course, rises above their together collective diverse freedom-lovin’ great diversity.”

  8. I don’t think anyone expected much better but her inability to deal with the softest of softball questions is surprising.

    Next she will be stumped by the question, “What is your favorite color?”

  9. George Washington went back to his farm, presumably to pick peas and make moonshine. But, I’d have to say Jefferson was my favorite because he was a sexy ginger KNOWN to have fucked anything that moved…which means I might have had a chance.

  10. Watching an interview with her is like watching oral comprehensive exams for a marginal student. One who you KNOW didn’t do the reading, but did attend class and listen for buzz words to repeat back.

    Beck, of course, is the (untenured) faculty member who has tried unsuccessfully to bang her since she was a freshman, now hoping against hope for a final chance to hit that before she graduates.

    Ahh, edjumacation…

  11. Looks like they’ll have to interview her via facebook messages.

    Of course ,CNN will keep close track of the facebook communication between Palin and FoxNews and send us CNN breaking news twatters.

  12. Look on her face was priceless; hardly expected a ‘zinger’ from Beck!! And that he would call her out is equally priceless.

    What a coupla asshats.

  13. [re=494642]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: G-Dub — the original, not the second Bush — didn’t free his slaves — & he only had about a dozen; the rest were Martha’s — ’til he died. No way he was picking his own peas, then.

  14. Diversity? The Founding Fathers were known for their diversity?

    That means my college fraternity of all-white, non-Jewish guys must have been incredibly diverse. Yay!

  15. [re=494640]donner_froh[/re]: “What’s your favorite color?”

    Of course, she’ll respond with “all of them.” Anybody knows that all the colors together equals black. So her favorite color is black. which makes her a “moslem”-lover. All this will make better sense on Beck’s chalkboard.

  16. How this tundra hobbit can hold Alexander Hamilton and Tom Jefferson in the same regard…blasphemous!

    She probably feels the same about the “Koreas”…”I like them all”!

  17. [re=494649]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: You know what her favorite series of questions will be ?(and, no, not the obv. “All of them” answer.)
    Everytime she wnts to go for the throat, it’ll be a “What/who is your favorite ______?”

  18. [re=494640]donner_froh[/re]:

    Q. What’s your favorite color?
    Sarah: “All of em!”

    Q. What’s your favorite television cop show?
    Sarah: “All of em!”

    Q. What’s your favorite kind of pie?
    Sarah: “All of em!”

    Q. What’s your favorite breed of working dog?
    Sarah: “All of em!”

    Q. What’s your favorite species of evergreen tree?
    Sarah: “All of em!”

    Q. Who’s your favorite Italian saint?
    Sarah: “All of em!”

    Q. What newspapers do you read?
    Sarah: “All of em!”

  19. Having Beck laugh at you. That has to hurt. Also, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we can’t see her ear. There has to be an earpiece there.

  20. [re=494653]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: I just love how Sarah waxes romantic with the notion of Washington retiring to his “farm,” as if he was up every mornin’ at the crack-o-dawn to slop the hawgs and milk the cows. She really doesn’t realize retiring to his farm has a slightly different meaning for a patrician with dozens of servants and slaves. No sir, none of that elitist bullshit in Sarah’s imagination please.

  21. [re=494656]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Sure they were diverse; some believed an owner was free to beat or even kill his slaves, while others held he had to have good reason.

  22. It’s funny that Alexander Hamilton (my favorite) is included in her all-encompassing list, since a backwater populist demagogue like her is exactly what he had hoped to keep out of the political process.

  23. [re=494621]gurukalehuru[/re]: Correct. Though, actually, I don’t know the names of any Suffragettes, or didn’t remember Susan B. Anthony was one (from the failed quarter).

  24. I’ll bet the thing she likes best about this gig — after the money — is having somebody to do her hair and makeup again. Why not? Shallow sells, at least with that crowd.

  25. That was just a little bit of lovely for my day, thank you Wonkette, however, I think Sarah will not last long on Fox News becuase when it’s bull crap to Beck, you’ve gone as low as you can, and she will quit that humiliation faster than you can say, well, err, “I quit.”

  26. [re=494633]Oldskool[/re]: BullKrap! Glenn said BullKrap to the Queen of Conservatism. Just because she has no idea who the founding fathers were. She could have named at least two founders, (all cats are grey in the dark) Ben Franklin and Jeebus. That would have illustrated the point about diversity, diverseness and diversiveness she was trying to make and also.

  27. It’s really incredible how many dicks she sucked in high school and college. And the right dicks too! The ones that were going places and would drag her with.

    (Oh man if I posted this on Jezebel.)

  28. [re=494652]teebob2000[/re]: … and Beck towards the end there nodding his head slowly, thinking “Christ. She’s soooo stupid. But I STILL wanna bone her. How do I get from here to there.”

  29. You can see her whole “Miss Alaska” training in action: while her brain is trying to think of a single founding father – ANY founding father – her mouth is buying her time with the whole “so much diverse opinion… and so much divers… ity, in terms of belief… but collectively they came together…” then AH (I got it!) how about George Washington!

    *facepalm*

  30. Are you angry, white and ignorant? Do you feel like an oppressed minority simply because a fraction of the population does not share the same religion as you? Are you reeling from economic hardship brought on by 8 years of a Republican President you voted for? Are you against Universal Healthcare that could save the lives of you and your family?

    Then this is your lady!

  31. [re=494662]Gopherit[/re]: Earpiece explains it best. If she had her back to us at any point we would’ve seen the receiver, like we did during Bush’s “debate”. I can just hear her trainer screaming into her ear “George Washington, you moran!”

  32. [re=494676]magic titty[/re]: I double-dog dare you!

    [re=494672]Ducksworthy[/re]: Ah, I had almost forgotten W’s answer to “Who is your favorite philosopher?”

  33. I bet Palin was primed to remember a sentence about Washington, but wasn’t ready for Beck’s lead-in. In other words, Palin is not a bright as she looks in this clip.

  34. The best part after “all of ’em” was watching the gears slowly grind away as the word jumble continued to pour forth until she managed to spit out George Washington.

  35. True story: If I ask my uncle with down syndrome which he likes best, hamburgers, hot dogs or spaghetti, his answer is invariably, “all of them.”

  36. [re=494666]KristaJulieva[/re]: Nice. I seem to remember that Al felt so strongly about this that he tried to shoot one of these snowbilly grifters, who was much like the modern SP.

  37. She loved all the Founding Fathers. In fact, she got into Doc Brown’s time machine and pulled a train for all of them. John Adams is Trig’s Dad.

  38. Really? Glenn Beck was the first to call BULLSHIT on Sarah to her face? I had really hoped it would be Jon Stewart.

    [re=494676]magic titty[/re]: Which was her favorite?

  39. FOX NEWS INTER-OFFICE MEMORANDUM

    Attn: All on-air “talent”
    Subject: S. Palin

    This is to inform that you must immediately refrain from asking Mrs. Palin anything, ANYTHING on the air whether you are live or taping, unless the subject matter is God, Jesus or being the parent of a retarded baby.

    Please note that these instructions are effective immediately.

  40. I believe it was Thomas Heath Washington who once said, “You lie! The cherry tree of liberty must be watered from time to time with the semen of idiots and miscreants. Also, too, it is it’s natural bullcrap.”

  41. she doesn’t remember their names… it was so dark… they were so big…

    ask her how she feels about button gwinnett. go ahead, ask her. i double-dog dare you.

  42. I don’t watch Beck often,(under doctor’s orders), but, does it seem as though his face is melting down into his jowls more than it used to (or is it just the drugs I should be taking)…

  43. [re=494683]Franklin Pierce & Pierce[/re]: There you have it. What amazes me is that they are able to move among us, drive cars, hold jobs (or more likely apply for unemployment benefits). They are actually zombies waiting for the rapture but outwardly they seem almost normal until they open their mouths. What could account for this? Is it a miracle of Jeebus?

  44. My favorite founding father is George Clinton, even though they denied his request to name our legislative body “Congress Live – Funkadelic.”

  45. LOL, everyone knows the correct answer is “Ringo” – silly would-be VP!

    I didn’t watch this ground-breaking moment in journalismiziation (spontaneous rage issues & all that cack) – did Beck ask her why she’s not in the kitchen making him a sammich?

  46. [re=494695]Ducksworthy[/re]: Nah, I heard it was a bitchfight. Burr called Hamilton ‘despicable’ and Ham’s all like, “Imma cap in yo ass,” and Burr’s like “Bring it” and when the glocks come out blazing, Ham goes down, missing the glory of being the first ‘banger to off a sitting Vice President.

  47. [re=494673]Way Cool Larry[/re]: I was thinking the same thing — why the fuck didn’t they just edit it out?
    1. As you said, they want her to look like an dumbass.
    2. They are as stupid as she is.
    3. Or they could also have Carl Cameron ask her the same questions two days from now after she has been spoon-fed some answers. Then she’ll mention Whipple, Samuel Adams (not the shitty beer), etc. After all, her idiot savant talent is regurgitating lame political jargon.

  48. Sarah waxes romantic with the notion of Washington retiring to his “farm,”

    The reality of it is that he wanted to do more interior decorating at Mount Vernon and go out dancing. Not to mention that he and Martha didn’t have any children. Add the fact that he loved to design his own uniforms and Georgie sounds awfully light in the shoe buckles to me.

  49. Hey, in Sarah Palin’s defense, George Washington [i]was[/i] a [url=”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_washington#Domestic_issues”]notable slaveholder[/url]

  50. Actually correction on my last post I may have misspoken when I said my favorite band was “New Kids On The Block” – I actually meant Slayer.

  51. “Oooh, you know, Glenn, [gesticulates with hands and makes stupid smile] the one with all the slaves?”

    [long pause]

    [makes stupid smile again]

    “Frank Zappa was my favorite mother.”

    [runs off set]

  52. [re=494621]gurukalehuru[/re]: Saying George Washington is your favorite founding father is like saying bud is your favorite beer. It only proves that you know shit about the subject at hand.

    I for one, prefer Josiah Bartlett, great-great-great grandfather of Martin Sheen.

  53. An open letter to Sarah Palin (in case she lurks Wonkette)

    Dear Sarah,
    There are two questions where you will find “all of them” is an acceptable answer.

    1.) Of all your children, who is your favorite?
    2.) Of all your grandchildren, who is your favorite?

    Please try to keep this in mind, as I am truly trying to help. YOUR WELCOME.
    Roscoe

  54. Trick question. The greatest Founding Father is clearly The Father, God. Also acceptable: His friendly customer service representative, Jesus.

  55. She did great for Fox! If her answer was even halfway intelligent she’d alienate her fan base. Plus, this way even an animated turd like Beck comes off looking something like a journalist.

  56. I likes me the irony of listening to the queen of the dipshits extoll the virtues of a group of elitists (i.e, accomplished intellectuals that wouldn’t have hired her as a stable cleaner).

  57. Ahhhggghh! Normally this would just bring the laffs but I used to work at Mt. Vernon (on the Farm, oddly enough-but in the 2000s, not 1700s) and Snowbillyjust ruined my day by even talking about it…first, GW didn’t become king, true, he became president for 8 years (during which founding father TJ kept saying he was acting like a king)…so he didn’t just preside over the Constitutional Convention and then eff off to Virginia…damn you Snowbilly for tainting Mt. Vernon!!
    Sorry for the rant…I’m a little sensitive when it comes to Mt. Vernon

  58. I don’t understand the “bull crap”. Was Beck calling bullcrap on Sarah or saying the founding fathers “came together with so much … [bullcrap].

  59. John McCain made a pact with the devil, and we’re now cursed with having to listen to this woman’s inanane gibberish for the rest of our lives. BTW, as pointed out, how were the white, male, property-owning, Protestant Founding Fathers “diverse”?

  60. Imagine if Snowbilly was a contestant on “Are you Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?”

    First Grade History question for $100.00 – “Name a Founding Father.”

    Snowbilly answer – “All of them.”

    Fifth Grader (with puzzled look on his face) – “What the Fuck?”

    Snowbilly snarling to Fifth Grader – “Stop asking the ‘Gotcha’ questions – you librule media — for the troops.”

  61. [re=494779]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Some owned slaves and some didn’t, which is as diverse as Missy can stand things before her hairstyle explodes.

  62. How can she support a bunch of long-haired liberals living on the east coast, growing hemp and complaining about “King George?”

    What’s your favorite Sarah Palin video? All of them!

  63. [re=494779]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Well, some wore wigs, some did not. Some had ridiculous patterns of facial hair and some had a gay stylist and looked slightly less hirsute. Some had calf skin footwear and some preferred tanned deer hide. Some strongly believed there should be no mention of a state sponsored religion and some somewhat strongly believed there should be no mention of a state sponsored religion, in the constitution. Some were pasty white complected and some were ruddy white tanned complected.

  64. As I recall, that was an actual question on a Civics test I took back in 6th grade. I wonder if “all of them” would have gotten me an A? I wonder if they still teach Civics.

  65. The girl should stick to jobs like Governor, that do not require being a trivia expert.

    But man she blew it. Correct answer: Vitus Bering. That would have set off fireworks.

  66. [re=494729]Radiotherapy[/re]: yeah, maybe they are setting her up for the soft bigotry of low expectations for her preznit run when she starts talking semi-coherently.

  67. [re=494640]donner_froh[/re]: Or: What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow? When she blows that one, we get to see her get flung into the canyon.

  68. Oh, you guys beat me to it. The correct answer is, obviously, Button Gwinnet.
    That woman is such a bozo. And Beck is a flaming shitheel. Gwinnet, though, a veritable Cincinnatus.

  69. The best part is that George Washington did virtually nil in terms of the actual founding and political grunt work. He was goaded by Ben Franklin, John Adams, and Thomas Jefferson et al (the real founding fathers) to serve as the Constitutional Convention Chairman and then as President because they realized nobody would hate a military hero.

    Though I can see why she would be high on the President that retired because he couldn’t stand the job anymore…

  70. So editors, what happened to all those gushy we-love-Sarah blogs that came out when she ran? “The Knights of Palin” and all that? Have they come to the conclusion yet that she’s never going to be president, and is basically just going for the cash?

  71. [re=494682]O_o[/re]: At some point, Wonkette is going to have to come out with the pageant-era nudes. Put the final fail in the public life of Sarah Palin.

    Of course, not that nudes have hurt the GOP Senate candidate in Massachusetts. But we have to try.

  72. It was kept in, because Beck sees her as a threat to his own political ambitions. They will tear each other apart, live on FOX News, in a grand battle for supremacy of the conservative mind. This is a good thing, for the troops.

  73. Sarah Palin’s Favorite Founding Father Is, Naturally, ‘All Of Them’

    Help. Well, she exceeded my expectations. I thought my expectations could not possibly have been too low.

  74. [re=494848]Flanders[/re]: This. Also, because Sarah Palin is actually a liberal undercover agent and he knows it. Seriously, no one could be that stupid, and, when you think about it, can you remember a time where you have seen Sarah Palin NOT wearing red?

    My real question concerns the other 95% of the interview, where she tries to get into his pants for an hour. How does Beck’s one true love, Michael Bublé, feel about all this? Concerned? Relieved that he has an excuse to get out? Jealous that he’s not the only one that can get away with calling Glenn “a piece of sexual chocolate” on cable news?

  75. The clip was cut off too early. This was the rest of Sarah’s quote, defending her commonsense conservative principled inability to name a favorite FF:

    I personally believe that US Americans are unable to single out a single Founding Father because some people out there in Our Nation don’t have Founding Fathers, and, uh, I believe that our edumacation, such as Alaska, and everywhere like, such as, and, I believe that they should, our edumacation over here in the US should help the US, or should help Alaska, and should help the Christian countries, so that we will be able to build up our future. George Washington!!!

    Also, too, I think Beck’s got his special panties in a wad, because Sarah’s getting all the attention these days, and he’s out to sabotage her by asking the tough questions. And that is no snark.

  76. And you damn libruls are missing the real reason Sarah chose GW (not the bridge). He had the most guns, and the one with the most guns always wins. True Fact.

  77. [re=494639]Prommie[/re]: @12:15pm You read her expressions perfectly. We’re lucky that dingbat never played a game of poker with Putin, he would have won Alaska back.

  78. [re=494640]donner_froh[/re]:
    Q: What’s your favorite color?
    A: All of them …
    Q: Bullcrap. Can’t you name a particular one?
    A. Because, when you put them all together they make a rainbow, and that’s God’s promise to Noah after the Flood.

  79. [re=494676]magic titty[/re]: (Oh man if I posted this on Jezebel.)

    That would be like a hand grenade in a hen house. Fun for a few seconds but the clean-up would be horrible.

  80. [re=494621]gurukalehuru[/re]: Not debating GW as #1 Supreme High Founding Father, but based on the fact that she stammered like I used to in HIgh School for two minutes before throwing it out makes me think think she just got lucky with the first name that popped in her head…

  81. [re=494673]Way Cool Larry[/re]: I totally agree! O’Reilly spent their first five minutes together trying to make her look stupid before he started begging for a golden shower. It’s always the conflicted ones that end up involved in domestic terrorism, oh wait…

  82. Wait, did Glenn Beck just say “founder”? FOUNDER??? Not “founding father”, you pinko bleeding-heart feminazi reparationist! These con-sarn ultra-pc nutjobs tryin’ to emasculate our founding…. country back to the indians… ACORN…. zzzzzzzzzz

  83. Every minute of Sarah’s time on Fox before she quits will be like this. She gains popularity from these displays of her ability. These are the opening shots in the war on the “educated class”. Soon “educated” will replace “liberal” as a pejorative. Nothing that is shown on Fox is by accident, it is all scripted.

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