The Republicans’ new strategy for winning back the House in 2010 is comprised solely of their strategy for winning back the House in 1994. Oh yes, it is Time for another Contract with America, except maybe this time, John Boehner hints, it will might be called an “Agenda with America,” because maybe this sound Internet-ier? Boehner, you tease!

Right so, in no way is anyone doing anything to acknowledge that it is not 1994.

Party officials said Mr. Boehner indicated that “the effort – whether it ends up being called a ‘contract’ or an ‘agenda’ or something else – would involve members of the conference and our candidates.”

He put Representative Kevin McCarthy, an up-and-coming Republican leader from California, in charge of drafting the document. […]

Given the political emphasis of House Republicans these days, the pledges would probably center on spending, taxes, jobs, immigration and a push against government bail-outs and takeovers of failing businesses among other issues.

Exciting, except, N.B.: Newt Gingrich threatens a do-over of this thing every three years, most recently three years ago, when it would have benefited his proto-failed presidential run.

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  • choinski

    I thought only Gays had an ‘Agenda’

  • Red Zeppelin

    So their having a contract with Boehner’s boner? Hey, contract this!

  • qwerty42

    I think they need to keep the project to reanimate Reagan’s corpse going, but maybe I’m just sentimental. Can we dare to hope this “agenda” will include the all-important “tax cuts for plutocrats”?

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    @choinski:Yeah, I thought “agenda” had bad connotations in politics.

    So I suppose it’s appropriate, but only inadvertently.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Newt outlines his new Contract for America in a speech you can see here. It’s pretty darn long (five parts) but interesting to watch — he’s definitely still replaying his “Glory Days” moment, except he’s responsible for the budget surplus, etc. The best part is where he outlines (this is in the last video) his five-point plan for America — it’s five tax cuts. How could that possibly go wrong?

  • supernoun

    No–it’s bad when gays or blacks have an ‘Agenda,’ BUT since they obviously do, the conservatives are taking back the word. No longer will homosexuals tarnish the beautiful, tech-y word ‘Agenda,’ because it is now specifically for white Conservatives only. Even Michael Steele doesn’t get to join in on the Agenda fun!

  • Radiotherapy

    Again, I just can’t quit you meme, but haven’t we learned our lesson with making pacts with these devils?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Jeebus, it’s the Star Wars Saga all over again.

    GOPers build the “perfect” agenda. It blows up because of reality and Newt’s 2m exhaust port.

    Instead of doing something different, they go and build a bigger one based on the same fucked up ideas that caused it to fail the last time and under much much worse economic conditions.

    Don’t mind me, but I’m going to put on my Ewok suit, head off to the Moon of Endor and watch this bullshit blow up again.

  • DC Hates Me

    An early draft of Kevin McCarthy’s agenda: They’re coming! They’re here already! You’re next!!!

  • JMP

    Tax cuts, spending cuts, no government saving failing businesses; basically it’s a plan to return to the economic agenda of Herbert Hoover and turn the recession into another depression.

  • pampl

    How about “2.0 with America”? Or “twitter w am’ca”

  • Gopherit

    Sorry, you giant smoking carrot of a man. The teabaggers already beat you to reaching out to the retarded, nascar-loving demographic. They hate you now almost as much as they do those socialist Dems.

  • Norbert

    “Contract America: Shrivel the Economy and Kick Out the Foreigns!”

  • hockeymom

    “Twit Wit America. Yo.”

  • Terry

    Newt is sort of like that guy from high school you run into 20 yrs later who only wants to talk about when he used to be the pitcher on the varsity team.

  • hedgehog

    2010: Aspiration and Alteration

  • JMP

    “Gingrich 2: Electric Boogaloo”
    “Contract w/America: The Squeakquel”

  • ella

    [re=494536]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Agenda’s not a bad word to Republicans if they use it.

  • finallyhappy

    Party officials said Mr. Boehner indicated that “the effort – whether it ends up being called a ‘contract’ or an ‘agenda’ or something else – would involve members of the conference and our candidates

    How about “Something Else -America”?

  • Mad Brahms

    Inspired by Pat Robertson, I ask:

    If America is the great satan, then is a contract with America a pact with the DEVIL?
    Did it just get too real in here?

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    Yet another remake. And I hear in the new version they recast the president as a black guy… but it’s still going to suck.

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=494530]choinski[/re]: Republicans do too, only theirs aren’t made by Jack Spade.

    [re=494555]hedgehog[/re]: If by “aspirate” you mean “choking on one’s own vomit”, then yes, this describes the republican strategy perfectly.

  • FlownOver

    [re=494554]Terry[/re]: And he hopes you’ve forgotten he had an ERA of, like, infinity.

  • pub_option

    Does the photograph show all the states as “blue” before the contract/agenda is passed, or is it implying that they will all go “blue” once the voters discover the details of the contract/agenda?

  • Cape Clod

    [re=494545]JMP[/re]: And their ‘new’ slogan for this agenda is “A Chicken in Every Pot!”

  • SlouchingTowardsWasilla

    They considered calling it what it is – “The Non-Enforceable Contract With Nobody” – but it didn’t have the same tinny ring they were looking for.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=494546]pampl[/re]: If he wants to attract the young voter demographic, which he should, since the GOP is pretty weak there, he should call it something sexier like “Hooking Up With America.”

  • Paterlanger

    [re=494547]Gopherit[/re]: Oh, but if only Boehner can come up with an “agenda” that’s sufficiently Randian (i.e. crypto-racist) to bring most of those tea-baggers on board! Then scholars a hundred years from now will look back and identify that as the moment when America’s nascent neo-independence movement made its deal with the devil and was cursed forever.

  • PrairiePossum

    We are still recovering from the last Republican Agenda which included unfunded federal mandates, war, torture, international embarassment, collapse of our economy, ignoring science, and lots of praying and bible reading. Can’t wait to see what they have planned for us next.

  • coolcatdaddy

    “Agenda” makes me think of the meetings I have at work where nothing gets done, the same problems get worse, but managers get raises and promotions anyway.

    Yeah…sounds Republican to me….

  • El Pinche

    Knowing the GOP and conservative hipsters they’ll call it “Cleveland Steamers for America” or something. Conservatives will rename themselves as Shrimpers and hold Salad Tossing Townhalls. Then they’ll cry because the mean elitist nasty libtards are making fun of them.

    Sure, Gingy, I’d love to watch you fail and hear about your 100 affairs and rampant hypocrisy in attack ads. Run Gingy run!!

  • JMP

    [re=494554]Terry[/re]: Newt scored four touchdowns. In one game!

  • Way Cool Larry

    Boehner should call it the “Orange Revolution”!

  • the problem child

    Considering what they have in mind, shouldn’t that be Contract ON America?

  • schvitzatura

    Knowing Newt’s latest choice of religious denomination…Concordat with America might be just the thing…

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    What I always loved about the Contract with America is it was kept hush-hush ’til after the GOP won. Then they talked all about how they had run on that platform, won with it, & were going to spend that political capital.

    But, seriously — & maybe it were just me, being only 14 at the time & less politically-savvy — when did CWA come up prior to the day after election day ’94?

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    Also: where are Alaska & Hawai’i, or at the least REAL MERKIN Alaska, on that map?

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    I always thought it should be Contract ON America.

  • gurukalehuru

    Jes be careful which agender yer a havin’ the buttsex with, Johnny Boner.

  • Toomush Infermashun

    [re=494670]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Yeah, it’s the little words – “on” or “to” so much more fitting than “with” or “for”…

  • Toomush Infermashun

    Besides, I think it’s going to be more like Nancy’s “Just Say No…” Agenda

  • WadISay

    You would think they could have photo-shopped a black guy or a woman into the flag-waving crowd behind Newt.

  • Sweet Baby Cheeses

    I just hope Michael Steele comes up with his competing “vision”, which would of course be called WHAT UP AMERICA

  • revbob

    Boehner’s also proposing racial preferences for Orangeo-Americans.

  • Extemporanus

    It should be called…”THE PATRIOT PACT”!

    You’re welcome, Republicans. I’ll take my payment in small, unmarked, hookers.

  • One Yield Regular

    How does this fit in with Michael Steele’s new 12-step program for recovery from conservaholism? Are they going to admit their powerlessness, trust in a higher power to restore them to sanity, and make direct amends to the rest of us for having been so utterly insufferable all these years?

  • Accordion-o-rama

    [re=494542]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Please don’t say “Newt’s 2m exhaust port” ever again (shudder).

  • Mr Blifil

    May I suggest perhaps “Hand on America’s Supple Thigh?”


    I thought at first from the picture that this was going to be a post about Gingrich teasing a 2012 run at the Oval Office. The actual post was just as depressing.

  • dijetlo

    Contract with America 1994

    * FIRST, require all laws that apply to the rest of the country also apply equally to the Congress;
    * SECOND, select a major, independent auditing firm to conduct a comprehensive audit of Congress for waste, fraud or abuse;
    * THIRD, cut the number of House committees, and cut committee staff by one-third;
    * FOURTH, limit the terms of all committee chairs;
    * FIFTH, ban the casting of proxy votes in committee;
    * SIXTH, require committee meetings to be open to the public;
    * SEVENTH, require a three-fifths majority vote to pass a tax increase;
    * EIGHTH, guarantee an honest accounting of our Federal Budget by implementing zero base-line budgeting.

    You don’t think that by recycling the “Contract with America” idea they aren’t going to remind people that they never actually enacted any of the promises they made in 1994?
    Maybe they should just call it “Bullshitting America-Redux”

  • PrairiePossum

    How about calling it “The Great American Reach Around?”

  • BeWoot

    As long as they don’t try to call it Good Government or Sound Public Policy, I don’t give a rat’s ass how they label the lie.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=494554]Terry[/re]: Newt’s a catcher, not a pitcher.

  • Humpback

    “A-gender for America: This time it’s personal!”

  • thesheriffisnear

    Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice…ya can’t get fooled again. Can we?

  • heathenish

    If there’s going to be a contract I want a union rep. or an agent there to get me a better deal than the last contract. Jesus, why is Newt still alive!

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