Pat Robertson Was Right, Haiti IS 'Cursed'

Pat Robertson's PR man, Jeebus, has issued a Statement further proving that Pat Robertson is one of the foremost thinkers of our time: "On today’s The 700 Club, during a segment about the devastation, suffering and humanitarian effort that is needed in Haiti, Dr. Robertson also spoke about Haiti’s history. His comments were based on the widely-discussed 1791 slave rebellion led by Boukman Dutty at Bois Caiman, where the slaves allegedly made a famous pact with the devil in exchange for victory over the French. This history, combined with the horrible state of the country, has led countless scholars and religious figures over the centuries to believe the country is cursed." And your Wonkette has discovered ("copy-pasted from a real blog") more information proving that Haiti has in fact been "cursed" since its evil black slave rebellion -- not so much by Magical Satan Powers, but by its real-world vehicle of terror: Debt.

The appalling state of the country is a direct result of having offended a quite different celestial authority -- the French. France gained the western third of the island of Hispaniola -- the territory that is now Haiti -- in 1697. It planted sugar and coffee, supported by an unprecedented increase in the importation of African slaves. Economically, the result was a success, but life as a slave was intolerable. Living conditions were squalid, disease was rife, and beatings and abuses were universal. The slaves’ life expectancy was 21 years. After a dramatic slave uprising that shook the western world, and 12 years of war, Haiti finally defeated Napoleon’s forces in 1804 and declared independence. But France demanded reparations: 150m francs, in gold.

For Haiti, this debt did not signify the beginning of freedom, but the end of hope. Even after it was reduced to 60m francs in the 1830s, it was still far more than the war-ravaged country could afford.Haiti was the only country in which the ex-slaves themselves were expected to pay a foreign government for their liberty.By 1900, it was spending 80% of its national budget on repayments. In order to manage the original reparations, further loans were taken out -- mostly from the United States, Germany and France. Instead of developing its potential, this deformed state produced a parade of nefarious leaders, most of whom gave up the insurmountable task of trying to fix the country and looted it instead. In 1947, Haiti finally paid off the original reparations, plus interest. Doing so left it destitute, corrupt, disastrously lacking in investment and politically volatile. Haiti was trapped in a downward spiral, from which it is still impossible to escape. It remains hopelessly in debt to this day.

So the lesson is that France was the deal-making counterparty ("Satan") in this pact. Yet another reason never to trust those gay commie bitches.

(Pat Robertson is an awful, terrible human being.)

 Statement Regarding Pat Robertson's Comments on Haiti [CBN]

 Cancel Haiti's debt [Foreign Policy]