Great Hero Shoves Weekly Standard Staffer

  watering the tree of liberty

In a burst of violence the likes of which this planet has not seen ANYWHERE since at least the Kenneth Gladney/Union Thugs Incident, a Thug working with the Martha Coakley senatorial campaign MAULED Weekly Standard writer John McCormack in cold blood last night in Washington D.C. Why was Martha Coakley in Washington D.C. last night, less than a week before her extremely vital and surprisingly close Massachusetts special election? Probably something to do with her WORST CAMPAIGN EVER tactical losing strategy.

After Coakley finished her answer, she began walking away from the restaurant, and I walked behind her asking why health care industry lobbyists were supporting her at the fundraiser. She didn’t reply.

As I walked down the street, a man who appeared to be associated with the Coakley campaign pushed me into a freestanding metal railing. I ended up on the sidewalk. I was fine. He helped me up from the ground, but kept pushing up against me, blocking my path toward Coakley down the street.

He asked if I was with the media, and I told him I work for THE WEEKLY STANDARD. When I asked him who he worked for he replied, “I work for me.” He demanded to see my credentials, and even though it was a public street, I showed them to him.

I eventually got around him and met up with the attorney general halfway down the block.

The fundraiser was at faux-good Capitol Hill establishment Sonoma, for those of you keeping score, whatever that means. They pride themselves on having lotsa wine!

Too bad it wasn’t Kristol, Goldfarb, or that creepy Sarah Palin stalker kid.

Maybe Obama should campaign for this Coakley, what with his entire agenda on the line and all.

We report, we get shoved [Weekly Standard]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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37 comments

  1. chascates

    Shoving a Weekly Standard writer is considered wrong? That entire enterprise is essentially shoving rightwing hatred down peoples’ throats. Turnabout is fair play.

  2. El Pinche

    We tried winning in the electoral war. We tried winning the cultural war. Now its time to choke a bitch. “From Hell’s Heart I stab at thee” or something.

  3. Buzz Feedback

    That will be the one and only time in his life that Michael Meehan is referred to as a “thug.” Mangina. Also.

  4. Hart88

    Isn’t this the same asshole who had a run-in with Scozzafazza in the NY-23 race? I’m seeing a pattern here.

  5. glamourdammerung

    This is the same clown from the NY-23 special election that managed to get the cops called on them.

  6. slappypaddy

    i work for me, but i don’t go around shoving people. don’t these pampered political hacks know a person can get hurt, putting his hands in the wrong place? it only takes a second to make a mistake you’ll regret for the rest of your life, which may only be for a few seconds more. juss sayin…

  7. S.Luggo

    For the life me I don’t how John McCormack, in stilettos and a thigh-slit pencil skirt, was able to catch up to octogenerian Coakley and tackle her.

  8. Serolf Divad

    A Weekly Standard reporter asking a politician why Health Care industry lobbyists support her is a bit like Osama Bin Ladin accusing someone of being Moslem.

    Still, that said, Coakley almost fucking deserves to lose for treating the Senate election like a coronation. I’ve watched Democrats pull the same shit and lose their races in other places (i.e. Virginia in the 90s). If there’s one thing voters don’t like it’s being taken for granted.

  9. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=494125]Hart88[/re]: Isn’t this the same asshole who had a run-in with Scozzafazza in the NY-23 race? I’m seeing a pattern here.

    He can’t help it. Some guys are just born with a face you love to punch.

  10. snideinplainsight

    That’s exactly the kind of effeminate rushing that lost it for the Patriots last weekend. Consider investing in a new defensive line, Bill!

  11. queeraselvis v 2.0

    “I work for THE WEEKLY STANDARD” is this week’s “Don’t you know who I am?” Which, as we all know, is just foreplay for a donkey punch.

  12. tootsieroll

    [re=494135]Serolf Divad[/re]: Please, the Scott Brown camp has been insufferable this past few days. Even if he loses if it anything within 10 points we’ll never hear the end of it. And the fucking teabaggers are throwing money at him.

    We can only hope enough people vote for the libertarian freak.

  13. S.Luggo

    [re=494137]Lascauxcaveman[/re]:
    [Perhaps the was something subliminal happening]

    The girl can’t help it, the girl can’t help it.
    The girl can’t help it, the girl can’t help it.
    When she walks by, the men folks get engrossed.

  14. glamourdammerung

    I still wish we had a “where are they now” with Kenneth Gladney, Ashley Todd, Ron Paul, and all the other lunatics that seem to have fallen off the map.

  15. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Sympathizing with a Weekly Standard reporter is like sympathizing with the mad dog in To Kill a Mockingbird.

  16. One Yield Regular

    Admittedly an inelegant move on the Coakley bodyguard’s part, but really, is there anything more worthy of contempt than a self-pitying journalist?

  17. Joshua Norton

    Ever notice how “get a load of me, I’m a reporter” douche nozzles like John McCormack really don’t want their questions answered, they just want to report on how abused they were.

    DIAF mofo.

  18. gjdodger

    As a journamalistic source, the Weekly Standard has a lot in common with the fine products of American Standard.

  19. Lazy Media

    Hey, Sonoma makes a ham, chard and mac-n-cheese special to die for. I dunno how putting the wine upside down with spouts helps the test, but there’s lots of it, and the food actually is pretty good.

  20. Don't Mess with Joe

    Serious point here: WTF is Coakley doing at a fundraiser in DC? Running for Senate in Mass., tied with a Republican. She better get her ass back up there before she blows this.

  21. Jobu-ty

    Instead of demanding his credentials, why didn’t Coakley Guy ask Weekly Standard Boy, “OK, which parent got you your gig via blatantly unmerited nepotism?” .

  22. slappypaddy

    [re=494175]One Yield Regular[/re]: Q: “…really, is there anything more worthy of contempt than a self-pitying journalist?

    A: Yes. For example: George W. Bush; Richard Cheney; Sarah Palin; any Wall Street investment bank CEO, CFO, or COO.

  23. finallyhappy

    Screw him and his paper. And you know what- until you get a knife or a bullet or at least a broken body part- it’s DC -so suck it up.

  24. Jukesgrrl

    Did anyone check to see if the future litigants had any backwards letters carved into their cheeks?

  25. Veritas78

    They’ve seen more of her in D.C. than we have here in Massachusetts. She better be down there hiring ballot-box stuffers, because Tuesday is now less than a week away, and I’ve gotten one postcard so far. For all his flaws, Teddy did know how to ask for a vote, and tell you that he was on the ballot, and when the election was. Coakley? Radio silence and dead air.

  26. davesnothere

    Why won’t the Weekly Standard provide a weekly forum where people can push them off the sidewalk? That would be of some use, at least.

  27. Dolmance

    He should have kicked the Weekly Standard guy in the balls fifty times, at a minimum. And not for hassling the politicians, but just for working with that Krystal reptile.

    Seriously, the Left needs Brownshirts. I think Obama should deputize the Crips and the Bloods as temporary FBI agents with the power to arrest and hold for 72 hours in the basement of their choice.

  28. Come here a minute

    [re=494170]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Where is Atticus “One-Shot” Finch when you need him?

  29. Mr Blifil

    [re=494196]Don’t Mess With Joe[/re]: Gee I dunno, maybe she would like to be able to afford to produce one of them there advertisements that are all the rage with the kids these days, what with their televisions sets and whatnot.

  30. Manos: Hands of Fate

    Get beat up once by a campaign staffer in a special election and its probably not your fault. Get beat up twice, well you had it coming to you.

Comments are closed.