There being a massive natural disaster killing or hurting thousands or millions of poor people yesterday, Pat Robertson responded naturally this morning, by blaming it on those specific poor people and their worship of Satan — all under the guise of a Disaster Relief Fundraiser.

What happened was that back in the 1790s, after witnessing the French Revolution, Toussaint L’ouverture led a successful slave rebellion against the French in the Haitian Revolution, word of which spread and inspired networks of American slaves to consider their own rebellions right up and through the Civil War. Some consider this strain of history “organized political action that helped end slavery in the West.” Pat Robertson considers it a Satanic Pact.

Hundreds of years of propaganda, right here!

“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it,” he said. “They were under the heel of the French … and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’

“True story. And the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal,'” Robertson said. “Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”

Time to send in Rick Warren’s missionaries, to give all of the survivors AIDS.

[Political Carnival, Right Wing Watch via Ben Smith]

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  • chrissainth

    But he was so cute in Twilight!

  • montyburns4prez

    I thought this guy was supposed to be dead. Robertson brings up devil pacts because he currently has one, which would explain why he hasn’t drop dead yet.

  • chascates

    You know who else made a pact with Satan?

  • Vulpes82

    Well, he should know; he was there, as Satan’s buttboy.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    You keep using the word “true.” I do not think it means what you think… no, seriously, fuck you.

  • germansteel

    It’s a whole chapter in Regent University freshman “Voodoo History 101” textbooks.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    I though Mark Halperin had some juicy sources, but wow. Cranky former Clinton and McCain staffer are nothing compared with Satan himself.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wow — so Jerry Falwell was keeping a lid on the real Pat Robertson craziness, huh?

  • gurukalehuru

    God made them slaves. Who were they to question that?

  • Cleopatra Schwartz

    Something good will come of this? You mean, like, the end of your career?

  • TGY

    How does he explain the continued existence of Hollywood and D.C., then?

  • Mapmonger

    When I realize that there are actual real people in this country, today, who believe charlatans like Robertson tell the truth, I get sad.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    “Let’s see. I’ll give you a slice of bread. And if you accept Jesus today, I’ll put some peanut butter on it.”

    Hallelujah! Another lost lamb brought to Jeee-sus!

  • Ducksworthy

    Well to be fair to Robertson, in his world leading a successful slave rebellion against your white slave owning overlords is the equivalent of having a “pact with the devil”.

  • jodyleek

    Robertson should ask god why he comdemned him to be such a Jeebus slobbering, fear mongering, “moral majority” pandering, money grubbing, hypocritical bigot and all around lying sack of shit?

  • DoktorZoom

    Far be it from me to suggest that anyone call Mr. Robertson’s prayer line at 1-800-759-0700 and let them have a piece of your mind (on Robertson’s nickel, to boot). Because that would be trolling, and trolling is BAD.

  • S.Luggo
  • Woodwards Friend

    Pat Robertson forgets the last part of the joke…

    Then Satan says to the Haitian slaves, what should we call this pact?

    And the Haitian slaves answered, The Aristocrats!

  • JMP

    Nice of Pat to show his racism; the only way those black folks could beat their white persecutors was through a deal with the devil. Or maybe they “worship Satan” because many follow the Vodou religion, which is somewhat Christian-influenced, but not traditionally Christian.

    [re=493977]montyburns4prez[/re]: You may be mixing him up with Oral Roberts or Jerry Falwell, who have died recently. Luckily, with many of Pat’s televangelist brethren dropping like flies, maybe his god will be calling him home soon as well.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=493989]Mapmonger[/re]: Actually, this Wonkette thread is more group therapy than political commentary. Laughing at the horrible state of our beloved country keeps us from going completely bonkers.

  • Joshua Norton

    Pat should know about deals with the devil. He usually co-signs as a witness.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Pat Robertson, being the devil himself, is aware of all pacts he has with mortals.

  • Schmegeg

    The unfortunate thing is that Pat was just as crazy 30 years ago before half of his brain leaked out. True Story.

  • Extemporanus

    Pat Robertson has obviously seen one too many Ralph Macchio movies.

  • Prommie

    Whats all ironical and stuff is that Pat is actually proving right there, as he speaks, he is proving, providing absolute objective proof, that there is no God. Or at least one who gives a shit. Becuase if there were a God who actually like is concerned with us morons here, Pat would have been struck by about 50 bolts of lightning simultaneously right then, and then God would have appeared to state, lest there be any confusion: “Hey, you, you christian fucktards listening to this asshole, you’re doing it wrong.” And he would have miracled some brains into Robertson’s viewers skulls, too, just so they’d fucking understand him, for fucking once.

    But thats not what happened, so, obviously, there is no God.

  • Asa Hawks

    Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. 2 Jesus answered, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? 3I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. 4 Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”

    In other words, fuck you Pat Robertson.

    P.S Sorry about the long post.

  • AlexisHidell

    Pat, if this earthquake is proof to you that poor Black folks are in cahoots with the debbil, then the very fact that you continue to live and breathe is proof to me that there is no god.

  • Hart88

    If Pat’s history with the Big Guy is any indication, I’d get the hell out of Virginia Beach.

  • Aurelio

    Nice of Pat to show his racism; the only way those black folks could beat their white persecutors was through a deal with the devil.
    Pat also thinks that 9-11 was punishment for gay epidemic in America.

    Note: this is not a Christian view. In fact, no one in the Judeo-Christian tradition since the book of Job has believed that God punishes people in this life. Christians believe that God waits until the afterlife to fuck you in the ass in hell (or have his sidekick, the devil, do it for him).

    Therefore, Pat Robertson is not a Christian, which should not be a surprise to anyone.

  • S.Luggo

    It gets better:

    Limbaugh: Obama will use Haiti to boost credibility with “light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country”
    2 hours and 25 minutes ago
    From the January 13 edition of Premiere Radio Networks’ The Rush Limbaugh Show:
    Limbaugh: Obama discussed Haitian earthquake sooner than attempted Christmas bombing; “Did he apologize for America?”
    2 hours and 36 minutes ago
    From the January 13 edition of Premiere Radio Networks’ The Rush Limbaugh Show:

  • Doglessliberal

    Well, Teh Gheys must sure be happy, here they were thinking their marryin’ ways in DC were probably the cause. Thanks, Pat!

  • takes12no1

    I blame God for Pat Robertson.

    but seriously, anyone that wants to donate a quick $10 to the Amer. Red Cross for Haiti relief can send a text to 90999 with haiti in the comment box. They will send a sms back to confirm. Gets charged to your phone bill, no credit info. needed.

  • Jim Demintia

    Dear Jesus,

    Can you call one of your angels to give Pat Robertson a ride home now, please?


    The Earth

  • Hart88

    Haiti was such a shining paradise until now, too. Damn you, debbil!

  • chascates

    White devil.

  • TGY

    [re=494005]Prommie[/re]: ‘And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.”‘

  • Gopherit

    If jesus really cared about anyone he’d have crushed pat in his leg press by now.

  • glamourdammerung

    Slaves freeing themselves would be against Christian doctrine, so he does have a point even if his comments were offensive. However, I doubt the “Bible is always right” crowd really want to have a national conversation about the large amount of screwed up things that are biblically acceptable.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=493989]Mapmonger[/re]: I sometimes feel like one of the Ostrogoths who, under Theodoric, were appalled at the barbaric anti-semitism of the so called “civilized” catholics of their day.

    “Even the religious toleration which Theodoric had the glory of introducing into the Christian world, was painful and offensive to the orthodox zeal of the Italians. They respected the armed heresy of the Goths; but their pious rage was safely pointed against the rich and defenceless Jews, who had formed their establishments at Naples, Rome, Ravenna, Milan, and Genoa, for the benefit of trade, and under the sanction of the laws.” Gibbon

    Pious Rage.

  • JMP

    [re=493995]S.Luggo[/re]: Napoleon III: lived 1808-1873. Haitian Revolution: 1791-1904. The original Napoleon didn’t even take over until the Haitian Revolution had been going on for years, so Pat shows himself ignorant of history as well.

    And Limbaugh probably thinks Obama should follow his predecessor and ignore any black people hit by natural disasters, even if they’re US-Americans.

  • gurukalehuru

    The Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy and full of resorts…except for the full of resorts part, that’s pretty much total bullshit.

    Napoleon the 3rd, or whatever. Napoleon the 3rd was born in 1808.

  • Doglessliberal

    Ok, so Pat Robertson says that those who rebel for their independence have made a pact with the devil? Isn’t that just a little like saying “God damn America”, Pat?

    Also, is there some supersecret pact between the French, the Pope and God that give an exemption to anyone who happens to be on the same side as the French? If so, why didn’t we win in Viet Nam (or the French either, for that matter)?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=493990]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: That’s how they get me to church on time!
    [re=494000]Joshua Norton[/re]: Indeed – and it’s Mighty White of him to be so helpful…

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Hot damn, I am a fucking PROPHET.

    Also, Pat, when you’re finally called “home,” I don’t think it’s gonna be Jesus’s voice at the other end of the line. Just saying.

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=494028]gurukalehuru[/re]: Haiti freed itself under Napoleon (the original one) hence Napoleon selling the Louisiana Purchase as Haiti was going to be the main port for a North American invasion.

  • Ducksworthy

    I think I can clear up some confusion here. If you listen closely to Pat you’ll realize that he’s not praying to the Christian “God”. He is praying to GAWD. GAWD is a rough jealous horny demon formerly known as Moloch and aka Satan. Pat is always happy when many children die because children are his GAWD’s happy meal.

  • stew

    If a quake hits Virginia Beach, I’ll renounce my atheism.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=494020]chascates[/re]: Born to be a god among salesmen, working the skinny tie.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    In this case, by “Satan,” Pat means “Catholic Church,” and by “Devil” he means “Pope.”

  • SayItWithWookies

    Of course Pat would like everyone to believe it was Toussaint l’Overture’s rebellion that caused horrible things to happen to Haiti — because if he were honest about it (no worry about that happening anytime soon) he’d have to admit that its poverty has been due to economic exploitation over the last century — which has included massive deforestation, which has contributed to heavy erosion, which multiplies deaths in a natural disaster. This raping of Haiti’s environment has been facilitated by the Duvalier family, with lots of support from the US. Though Baby Doc was booted out twenty years ago, the country has yet to have a stable or effective government.

    Of course Pat might want to forget that — because his own history of involvement with dictators to exploit their countries’ natural resources is pretty extensive. Yeah Pat, you pious, judgmental, racist, opportunist Pharisee — those three fingers are pointing back at you.

  • JMP

    [re=494030]WIDTAP[/re]: No, it’s only non-white people who rebel against biblicly-ordained white masters for independence that must be on the side of the devil. So yeah, the Vietnamese (who were also communist, which equals Satanic) were inspired by the devil; as were the Indians, who also had a weird non-Christian (and therefore Satanic) religion.

  • Cape Clod

    [re=494011]S.Luggo[/re]: Limbaugh: Obama discussed Haitian earthquake sooner than attempted Christmas bombing.

    How dare he discuss a major disaster with upward of 100,000 dead sooner than he respond to an intept attempted bombing where the only casualty was the bomber’s own penis.

  • V572625694

    This is the glory of Christianity: thousands of little babies are dead because their ancestors did something Christians didn’t like.

    Also, everyone please immediately read Garry Wills’ Negro President, which tells the tale of how adored founding father Thomas Jefferson did every fucking thing he could to keep Haiti poor, isolated and the revolution unknown to the slaves who, as they say, carried him into the Temple of Liberty, ha ha.

  • Bearbloke
  • Guppy06

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Core Republican Values!

  • Guppy06

    Is it just me, or does he breathe rather heavily while never looking above Christie’s neck?

  • S.Luggo

    [re=494027]JMP[/re]: Details, details. Why you bother Brother Pat with details? Like GWB, he talks to the Jesus.

    I be awaitin’ for some Rethug like Tom Coburn to question where in the Constitution the US derives authority to give emergency aid to foreign negroes. Not that this hasn’t happened before. E.g.,

    “The government of the United States is a definite government, confined to specified objects. It is not like the state governments, whose powers are more general. Charity is no part of the legislative duty of the government.”
    — James Madison [Teabagger demigod], Speech, House of Representatives, during the debate “On the Memorial of the Relief Committee of Baltimore, for the Relief of St. Domingo Refugees” (1794-01-10)

  • doxastic

    Honest question: Is there some sort of fundamentalist back-story to this? Like, have they always thought this about Haitians, or is this part of their fear of witchcraft stuff…? Because Pat seems to have serious confidence in his Devil-Pact “facts,” and it’s just too weird to have been thought up on the spot. I’m sort of surprised that he didn’t go with a more established cross-Caribbean slur, like the Puerto Rican belief that all Haitians have AIDS…

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=494078]S.Luggo[/re]: James Madison was 5’4″ tall. Total “Napoleon”.

    Take his words with a grain of salt. Particularly the vitriolic ones. It’s just his upset.

    If only Skee-Lo had been born two centuries earlier. I wish it were.

  • Toomush Infermashun

    I love the way Christie sweater-butter nods her head vigorously as Pat lectures her on where to place the silverware. History is so inoffensive this way…

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=494011]S.Luggo[/re]: Shorter Rushbo: What do you call half a million dead Haitians? Progress.

  • doxastic

    [re=493995]S.Luggo[/re]: Because everyone I know dreams of vacationing in the DR…

  • Spike

    So God just let the Devil take Haiti like that?

    God is a pussy.

  • Neilist

    You know, for all you Lie-Brual Commies in here HATE guns, you never answer the Obvious Question: If shotguns were outlawed, what would you use to put a load of rock salt in to Pat’s ass if he showed up on your doorstep.

    (Same question re Limbaugh . . . but it would have to be a 155 mm howitzer. Firing a load consisting of the Great Salt Lake.)

  • snideinplainsight

    Hey Pat, Satan called and said he doesn’t like leaks any more than Steve Jobs does. He said you can leave your key with the secretary on your way out.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=494061]Cape Clod[/re]:
    Rush: Obama betrays us. Wicked. Tricksy, False.

  • plowman

    Satan has all the dead lawyers so that fine print is a bitch…

  • Clancy_Pants

    [re=494024]Gopherit[/re]: We should send him to Haiti so he can use these muscles to maybe rescue some of those sorry French-lovin’ Devil worshipin’ heathen.

  • BetterDaysAreComing

    Well, Pat, old man, I look at it this way. God so loves the Haitians that he took them home to be with him. While your rotten hating ass is still here. Yeah, God loves you best.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=494091]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Like one famous American, Rush merely wants to protect us from ‘the contagion’. See following:

    “….[T]o avoid a contagion of ideas, President [and Conservative hero] Jefferson got Congress to enact legislation to ban from the U.S. all African slaves who had witnessed the Haitian Revolution or who had made a stopover in Haiti. In 1805, he instituted restrictions on trade with Haiti.”

  • Guppy06

    Oh yes, Kristi… not everybody knows… not everybody knows the secret of Haiti. A long… a long time ago, they were under the boot heel of the French, and this was God’s will. God wants us, Kristi, he wants us to be under that boot heel, to enjoy the feel of the weight of our masters pressing down on us. And we, as good, God-fearing Christians, Kristi, we should appreciate and kiss that boot heel, to suck on it lovingly, full of the love that our savior Jesus Christ has for us! Do you know what it’s like, Kristi, to feel that love, the love of being prostrate before Lord, to feel His love rain down on your fine, mocha skin?

    Mmmm, I could teach you, my child, show you what it means…

    Uh… yes, Haiti. The island of Hispaniola is split right down the middle. The Dominican Republic, it’s peaceful and prosperous and fairer-skinned… these are truly God’s children! They have these resorts, Kristi, these resorts in the prosperous and blessed Dominican Republic, where the people know God’s love and will share it with us, Kristi, share it for only the slightest remuneration! And there, down there, so close to the sinful, lustful people of Dark Haiti, where you can just feel the sin oozing over and washing over your body, consuming you! Such desires… We can go down on a relief mission to help… to help these poor children!

    And I can show you these resorts, Kristi, that truly bask in the glory of Jesus’ name! We can truly live under God’s plan! I can show you, Kristi, the proper way to for a true servant of God to pray, to fast, to meditate, the deep breathing… to prostrate yourself before the Lord, and the flagellation…

    Yes, Kristi, I think you’d… you’d do well with the flagellation…

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=494098]Neilist[/re]: “If shotguns were outlawed, what would you use to put a load of rock salt in to Pat’s ass if he showed up on your doorstep.”

    My fist. Not all of us need a gun to fight, little one.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=494110]Guppy06[/re]: Win.

    It’s so helpful when you have your own house negro.

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=494103]Clancy_Pants[/re]: He could also use that elite Marine bartending training he bragged about when he ran for president.

  • Cicada

    [re=494011]S.Luggo[/re]: There’s nothin’ Rush likes better than a good ol’ fashioned race-baitin’. Yee-motherfuckin’-haw!

  • JMP

    [re=494085]doxastic[/re]: During the Haitian Revolution, many of the slaves who were revolting prayed to their god for strength to defeat the French. Since their god wasn’t exactly the Christian god, according to the fundamentalist dipshits it must actually be a manifestation of Satan.

    Matt Y. has more:
    So yeah, basically the fear of witchcraft thing.

  • JooJoo Bee

    When this evil old fuckfart dies, can we blame it on his worship of Satan? I want to. I think I will. Oh, I feel so much better now. I guess that’s just how the old fuckfart feels when innocent people die due to Acts of God, terrorists, AIDs ‘n’ like that. Wow, see how easy it is to make common cause with your enemy? Who knew hate could bring us together so neatly.

  • M Lite

    The Dominicans are much better off, because they have lots of resorts full of white people! Maybe some of the Neocon cruise ships will drop by and liberate them.

  • UncleTom

    Does anyone but me think that God is being a little tardy in smiting the Hatians for this. I mean come-on Big Guy, 220 years is a long time. I doubt hardly any of them folks from 1790 are even still alive.

  • Downtheroadapiece

    Isn’t it time for this sorry old SOB to retire/die/go away yet?

  • lochnessmonster

    Someone needs to take away whatever he is on, be it pills, shrooms, mary jane or something made with pseudophedrine out in a trailer in the desert.

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    Why did the Dominican Republic get a pass? Because the god-fearing Rush Limbaugh needs a place offshore to have sex with little kids.


    [re=494055]JMP[/re]: Ah – well that would explain the whole French-Indian war thingy. Thanks for the clarification.

  • Schmannity

    At Napoleon III’s retirement dinner, Trent Lott reportedly said Haiti would have avoided all these problems if it had stuck with the emperor and skipped the Haitian Revolution. Ten years later, Harry Reid claimed Haiti’s problems stemmed from the Negroes being so dark in Haiti.

  • chascates

    “Something happened a long time ago in conservative politics, and people might not want to talk about it,” he said. “They were under the heel of the moderate GOP … and they got together and swore a pact to me, Pat Robertson. They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the moderates.’

    “True story. And I said, ‘OK, it’s a deal.’” “Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing I’ve said after another.”

  • BlueStateLibtard

    Toussa’int L’ouverture’s big mistake was setting up the military to run the government forever. And trusting the French as far as he could throw a stone.

  • Larry McAwful

    Robertson is claiming that black people, because of the French, sold their souls to Satan? Which is why nothing good has ever happened in the entire history of Haiti? Sounds like an argument tailor-made for Robertson’s audience.

  • S.Luggo

    Ah-po-lo-gees for keeping this up, but Limbaugh is a gift that keeps on giving.
    January 13, 2010

    RUSH: That place, Haiti, has been run by dictators and communists, and how long is it going to be before we hear Obama and the left in this country say that what we really need to do is reinstate the communist Aristide to the leadership position down there to coordinate putting the country back together? …

    RUSH: … . Look, there are people that do charitable work every day in Haiti. It’s not as though — like [Florida Democrat] Debbie Wasserman Schultz [claims], it’s our fault. Reverend Wright [says] it’s our fault [and] there’s no excuse for such poverty when there’s a nation as rich as we are so close. There are people that have been trying to save Haiti just as we’re trying to save Africa.
    You just can’t keep throwing money at it because the dictatorships there just take it all. They don’t spread it around, and even if they did they’re not creating a permanent system where people can provide for themselves.
    IT’S A SIMPLE MATTER OF SELF-RELIANCE. Nobody takes that approach down there because this has always been a country run by dictators and incompetent ones at that.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=493979]Vulpes82[/re]: How do you say “WIN” in Creole?

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=494254]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Decapitations usually work.

  • Radiotherapy

    [re=494213]S.Luggo[/re]: Just like Reid’s stupid comments, Haiti’s misfortune just gives fat boy a golden chance to spew lame racist schadenfreude. And like Robertson, let’s hope most reasonable people can see through their pompous veneer and into their cold, callous hearts.

  • Min

    God has finally been heard from. “Dude, STFU.”

  • plowman

    [re=494183]Schmannity[/re]: But Trent said the same thing during the coronation of George IV only he wasn’t really referring to the worst aspects of French Imperialism…

  • Jim89048

    [re=494183]Schmannity[/re]: Who knew Creole/French was a Negro dialect?

  • Neilist

    [re=494116]glamourdammerung[/re]: I don’t need a gun, either. It’s just more fun that way. And, personally, I wouldn’t put MY fist up Limbaugh. Not for nothing!

  • hunter.blatherer

    Hey, at least this time it wasn’t the gays.

  • Absolutely Fapulous

    Look! Proof that Pat Robertson did not say what Pat Robertson said:

  • sati demise



  • sati demise

    [re=494005]Prommie[/re]: amen.

  • Jim89048

    If there is a heaven and hell, Pat’s reward will be alternately fellating both Papa and Baby Doc for all eternity.

  • Icecycle

    Well, hang’n with the Lord here; he ain’t feel’n too good lately.
    Been talkin it out.
    Reading that Bible, least the part that makes a little sense*.
    Just hit the fuckers with a thunderbolt.
    And no; that’s Zeus and he don’t do that shit now.
    Anyway,let’s pray for God; he, she, or it loses friends real fast when the likes of Robertson or Limbaugh get involved.

    *Yeah, well; Jesus made bit of sense but I can’t seem to talk the fucking fundys into following him. And no, I am not a religious person.

  • Up To Here Again

    You know, Pat,
    some believe that if you immerse your body in acid,
    god won’t be able to find your soul to inflict punishment on it.
    Keep praying.

  • Lawndarts

    Robertson is one Americas greatest thinkers. Concise and deliberate. The man is impervious to any falsehood and is a complete joy to hear him speak. On a side note he was also great in Manos: The Hands of Fate.

  • Kate

    Thanks for posting the 800 number.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=494098]Neilist[/re]: Sadly, Rush would probably enjoy that.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=494284]Absolutely Fapulous[/re]:
    “His [Reverendness Pastorality Baal Grand Dragon Moloch-Zule Vishnu-Destroyer-of-Worlds I-Am-Grass-Feed-Me Robertson’s] comments were based on the WIDELY-DISCUSSED [by?] 1791 slave rebellion led by [surly, English slave] Boukman [Bookman] Dutty at Bois Caiman, where the slaves ALLEGEDLY made a famous pact with the devil in exchange for victory over the French.”

    Somehow, in a nutty nutty someway, I missed the word “allegedly” in the transcript of Patso’s original statement about the Haitians’ pact-with-El-Rushbo that made the Haitian’s buildings yesterday fall-down-go-boom for wont of love of the Milton Friedman, or lack of a precient move to the sunny, free-market shores of Sandinista Honduras on the eastside of the island.

    In the alternative: Stuff happens; keep a tight sphincter.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=494009]Hart88[/re]: This cannot be because Patso’s Christian Broadcasting Network operates out of Virginia Beach.
    Must be another reason.
    E.g., Mikey Steele performs there each weekend in a starw boater and plaid.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=494339]S.Luggo[/re]: Yes, I said “starw”, a synthetic fiber developed by DuPont (a subsidiary of King Industries GMB).

  • lulzmonger

    Hey now, take it easy on poor old Pat!

    He’s still sulking like an emo/goth kid at an Up With People concert over not getting his Gog Versus Magog nuclear apocalypse “Second Coming: Quick, Grab A Bucket” wargasm back in the 1980s … kinda funny how none of the flock seemed to much mind that “TEH VOICE OF GOD” chumped the call on that play so hilariously badly … come on, where’s the sympathy for ultra-right-wing self-righteous sick fucks with their own TeeVee shows & tax-exempt snake-oil franchises?

    The Baby Horst Wessel wept.

  • Joey Ratz

    [re=493995]S.Luggo[/re]: “Honest injun, Kristi.”

  • angrycrank

    [re=494011]S.Luggo[/re]: Of course NoBama should have reacted more quickly to some moron burning his underwear than to tens of thousands of dead and dying black people. Surely we can all agree that’s what dubya would have done.

  • Up To Here Again

    Wow, so the Haitian devil held off god for that long?
    Looks like our devil is about running out of steam too.

  • Sam D

    Robertson didn’t seem to mind pacts with the devil when it came to mining diamonds and gold with liberian warlord-turned-president-turned war crimes arrestee Charles Taylor. . If I recall he was close to Mobutu, who at least reportedly got into some pretty weird, not-christian, religious stuff towards the end of his plunderous reign

  • Zulu

    Bumbacloth! The true face of evil. Robertson and that supine subservient bitch nodding approvingly will share the same space in hell and will spend eternity being buggered nightly by a big fat juicy Haitian named Joseph-Desire

  • sweetcharity

    :”Baron Samedi casts spell on Pat Robertson, that turns him into gay marriage advocate.,

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