What is it with the conservative cruises! Weekly Standard Cruise, National Review Cruise, “Newsmax.com” Cruise. Oh, right, they do conservative candidate scouting on these trips! That’s how Bill Kristol met Sarah Palin, on his Cruise to the frozen Alaska. But this one… this one’s just the toe-fucker Dick Morris and whatever person he pays to be his wife.
TODAY IN NEWSMAX EMAILS 2:07 pm January 12, 2010
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Hola wonkerados.
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{ 55 comments }
Do the Somali pirates know about this?
I would sooner have Sarah Palin read the entire Bible out loud to me than listen to Dick Morris talk for more than 30 seconds.
Hmm, I wonder if I can pick up one of those torpedo-carrying dolphins the US Navy trained a while ago…
Dear Newsmax reader,
Cruise with Dick on Newsmax’s Shrimping Boat!
Towel not included.
Tugs & Kisses,
Newsmax
[re=493236]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: @twitter.com/somalipirates
If Dick is paying women to be his wife he needs to spend more because if Google Images has anything to say about it, I wouldn’t fuck the current Mrs. with Bea Arthur’s dick. That’s my time. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal!
Fox (News or Entertainment, same-same) to serialize as “The Return of the Love Boat.” Dramamine consumption will be high, even in calm waters.
[re=493239]Extemporanus[/re]: You’re back!
Rotten timing. I have to wash my hair that week.
I hear Ellen has shapely, beautiful feet.
Unfortunately, my submarine’s in dry dock; even if it were ready to go, I already sold all the torpedos to china.
Yikes. I don’t want to see these two in swim attire. I don’t wanna be around when these two get drunk and “cut loose”. http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/time/3843-1.jpg And this pic is from 1995!
They’re going to need a smaller boat
Some navy needs to do a live fire torpedo exercise.
Dick Morris is the gayest person I have ever seen. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
[re=493249]Tommmcatt[/re]: That would’ve worked better if you got the name right; it’s not ellen, but Eileen. And I heard Dick and her went Toora Loora Toora Loora-aye; and they can sing just like their fathers.
[re=493255]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: Egad; are you sure that’s his wife, and not Janet Reno as played by Will Ferrell?
[re=493255]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: Which one’s the bottom, exactly?
[re=493255]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: Dayum. That sank my battleship.
I wonder if this is just a coincidence — probably, since cougars aren’t really the GOP’s mainstay.
Will there be hot and cold running prostitutes?
Ah Yes, the GOP Miss Cleo for the dumbest of the dumb.
Let’s take a hop into the way-back-machine and look at Toe Sucker’s fabulous prognostications.
“‘Joe the Plumber’ Presents Winning Strategy for McCain”
http://newsmax.com/Morris/joe-plumber-mccain/2008/10/20/id/326016
“‘Undecideds’ Could Shift Toward McCain”
http://newsmax.com/Morris/undecided-voters/2008/10/29/id/326225
“Sarah Palin Is a Godsend for McCain”
http://newsmax.com/Morris/sarah-palin-john-mccain/2008/09/02/id/325133
“Sarah Palin — an American Margaret Thatcher”
http://newsmax.com/Morris/sarah-palin-thatcher/2008/09/04/id/325184
“Political Map Shows Huge Turn Toward McCain”
http://newsmax.com/Morris/dick-morris-state-map/2008/09/19/id/325429
These are but a few examples of Morris’ idiocy.
Only Fox News will keep this stupid fucker employed.
Did someone say “cockbomb”? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/8455116.stm
[re=493255]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: That’s a Man, Man!
[re=493237]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Ya know…you’re right.
I wonder if the ship will be one of those old Cleveland Steamers I keep hearing so much about?
Dick Morris, … they re going to need a bigger boat.
Ah Yes, the GOP Miss Cleo for the dumbest of the dumb.
Let’s take a hop into the way-back-machine and look at Toe Sucker’s fabulous prognostications.
These are headlines from his NewsMax column.
“‘Joe the Plumber’ Presents Winning Strategy for McCain”
“‘Undecideds’ Could Shift Toward McCain”
“Sarah Palin Is a Godsend for McCain”
“Sarah Palin — an American Margaret Thatcher”
“Political Map Shows Huge Turn Toward McCain”
These are but a few examples of Morris’ idiocy.
Only Fox News will keep this stupid fucker employed.
Time to fight back with a Wonkette Cruise. But where to go? Up (or down) the Mississippi? The Potomac or Hudson? We can have our pictures taken with SKS’ Lil TruckNutz and be entertained by Riley but what would make the ideal Wonkette Cruise?
[re=493259]JMP[/re]:
Oh, you and your facts. Give me a break, I’m old and can barely see.
Conservatives: Not just cruising airport restrooms any more.
[re=493277]chascates[/re]:
I think the Wonkette cruise is a Swan paddle boat on the Potomac with Riley.
[re=493277]chascates[/re]: I propose a cruise from Battery Park in Manhattan to St. Georges, Staten Island. And back. They only crash into the dock every forty years or so.
The cruises are quite simple to explain: the ships are Honduran-flagged, and stocked with Honduran cabin boys.
[re=493280]Tommmcatt[/re]: Facts? I don’ got to show you no stinkin’ facts!
Any port in a sturm und drang.
[re=493277]chascates[/re]: Appalachian Trail?
[re=493247]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: My WiFi reception sucks fucking coconuts.
And I hate to be the one to break this to you, but Russ got himself a big black boyfriend.
Sorry…
[re=493256]Hooray For Anything[/re]: TOYBOATTOYBOATTOYBOAT
[re=493286]Guppy06[/re]: Nevermind, turns out the ships are Dutch-flagged. They’re in it for the legalized pot.
[re=493277]chascates[/re]: I say we appropriate the Mayflower II in Plymoth and take a very drunken sail across Cape Cod Bay to Provincetown. With any luck, we’ll strike a right whale on the way.
[re=493259]JMP[/re]: “Egad; are you sure that’s his wife, and not Janet Reno as played by Will Ferrell?”
I just shot twenty five cents worth of Diet Pepsi through my nostrils, thank you very much.
Seriously though. I just don’t get how Repubs can so easily tap into the populism of the bitters and the poors and at the same time go on luxury cruises every other week. Doesn’t anyone put this together when some lump of armpit cheese like Dick Morris rails about how taxes hurt everyone and then invites those same people on a pleasure cruise.
The staterooms will be tastefully decorated: http://travel.webshots.com/photo/1109667856045001110sgXyfJ
TOE SUCKING IN PARADISE!
[re=493276]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: And Newsmax.
Hmmm, how to spend my spring break. I could either spend a week with Dick Morris on a cruise ship or a week in North Dakota shoveling snow. Fargo, here I come!
[re=493255]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: I’m pretty sure that’s actually an overweight Tim Curry standing behind the Toefucker Dick.
Isn’t it clear? To engage in the deep depravity that is the only thing that brings them joy anymore, Conservatives must get into international waters.
i wonder if its too late too book the surprise gay strippers on the boat…or hope for a posideon like adventure…
Fear and Loathing on the Conservative Cruise of Doom ’010… if I start stockpiling drugs and alcohol now, I might be able to do it…
Ship of fools.
I don’t want to picture what a Wonkette Cruise would look like. I really don’t.
Is Dick bringing the hookers? Sign me up!!
[re=493264]S.Luggo[/re]: God help me for comparing the two, but I think it looks strikingly like Eddie Izzard in full on drag.
Yet more evil for which Bill Clinton is actually responsible for leaving to this successors.
Dick Morris is fake cocaine runs to Mena, Vincent Foster “murder”, shady travel office firings, money-losing land-deals, & Oval Office trysts, times a quadrillion.
Dick Morris married a shiksa? Eeenteresting.
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