it's always hawaii

Felled Southern Slaveowner Could Plan Coup Against Michael Steele, In Hawaii

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Good thing we have three Michael Steele images total!Former South Carolina GOP chair Katon Dawson wanted so bad to earn his nut as chairman of the Republican National Committee in last year’s hysterical six-dimensional gangbang of an internal election process, one that hilariously culminated in Michael Steele’s first-ever victory in any contest. Dawson yearned so much for this position that he even resigned his beloved membership at a slaveowners’ country club which only whites could attend, unless of course they were slaves. This move backfired on Dawson, however, as the RNC voting body figured, “well if Dawson’s so much of a loser that he’ll distance himself from our favorite institution — slavery — we might as well just cold elect an actual slave, who will do what we tell him.” But the Steele Administration has produced “mixed results,” and now Dawson and the remaining White Leadership of the party will fly to Hawaii to draft their plot to kill Michael Steele.

Hey look, a story from the brand-new Tucker Fucker:

Former South Carolina Republican Party Chairman Katon Dawson denies there’s a coup in the works to replace RNC Chairman Michael Steele, but refuses to say whether he’s been encouraged by Republican friends to make himself known in case the RNC chairman is ousted from office.

Dawson, who lost to Steele by only 14 votes to lead the RNC last year, raised eyebrows with news that he will travel to the committee’s winter meeting in Hawaii on Jan. 25 — where Steele could face reprimand by committee members — as a substitute for South Carolina’s chairwoman.

Republicans have blamed Steele for overshadowing last week’s news of high-profile Democratic retirements with comments that the GOP would not win back the House. Steele has also come under fire recently for giving paid speeches and for low fundraising numbers.

Asked whether committee members have approached him to gauge his interest in replacing Steele, Dawson declined to comment. He dismissed the notion that the trip is about making himself visible while frustration with Steele is high.

“Me going to Honolulu has nothing to do with that,” he said, maintaining he’s merely going to “reconnect with people.”

Dawson said he “planned weeks ago” to go to the meeting as a substitute for the current South Carolina GOP chairwoman, who will be absent because of a conflict.

“I have no anticipation of anyone replacing Chairman Steele,” he said.

Oh yeah, Colonel Racist? Then why have you already started rebuilding your reputation among slaveowner colleagues?

Former SCGOP Chairman Katon Dawson has rejoined the “whites only” country club that he publicly bolted a year ago while running for chairman of the Republican National Committee (RNC), multiple sources at the club have told FITS.

Dawson resigned his membership at the Forest Lake Country Club last September – right around the time local media outlets were preparing to write a story about it. The issued dogged Dawson in the race for RNC Chairman, a contest he eventually lost to former Maryland Lt. Gov. Michael Steele in January.

Ha ha ha, he literally rejoined it.

Katon Dawson denies possible coup to replace Michael Steele as Republican National Committee chairman [Daily Caller via Marc Ambinder]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


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  • RoscoePColtraine

    The last straw was when Steele told the committee they could all suck his big black hairy balls.

  • plowman

    But I like Mike and his cute little dog…

  • Barrelhse

    I’m so nonplussed. Will he have to re-unjoin?

  • stew

    I think the fact that Dawson left a country club of any kind was the reason he lost. To republicans, you might as well renounce your citizenship and join the Taliban.

  • Joshua Norton

    Tucker Fucker:

    You just HAD to go there, didn’t you!!!1!!11

    Maybe we should just give a heads-up to Jon Stewart to set aside some time for this tonight.

  • SmutBoffin

    He just missed all his Kountry Klub Kompanions, like White Power Dave, Aryan Sally, and Just-Tellin’-It-Like-It-Is Dale.

  • Joshua Norton

    For a place they consider “exotic” and “unamerican”, they sure as hell flock to Hawaii in droves.

  • slappypaddy

    that poor dog. there oughtta be a law.

  • Squiggy

    Hawaii? That’s not even a state!

  • Oldskool

    This 24/7 clusterfuck known as the GOP is going to end badly. Yay.

  • ManchuCandidate

    For a brief moment, I thought we would lose the fountain of Snark that is Mikey “Uncle Tom” Steele to the angry Dixiecrat from the “Hicking (sic) the Appalachian Trail” state, but I have a feeling that good old boy Katon is going to replace Uncle Tom Steele’s buffoonery with a more in-the-closet cynical racist pig fucking that we’ve come to expect from the 21st Century GOPers.

  • Tommmcatt

    “Katon” is one of those southern plantation aristocrat names, isn’t it? Kinda like a man named “Beverly”.

  • loquaciousmusic

    This reminds me of an old joke I once heard:

    Two well spoken, well dressed African American men were visiting a restaurant in a small South Carolina town. After being seated, both men ordered “she-crab soup,” the speciality of the house.

    Upon finishing the soup, one of the men noticed a fly at the bottom of his bowl. He signaled to the waiter, who came over immediately. “Waiter, waiter,” the man said, “there’s a fly in my soup!”

    The waiter then proceeded to beat both men to death because they were belligerent darkies.

    Hah hah! Isn’t that funny?

  • memzilla

    Fortunately for Mr. Steele, if he loses his job, the country club will have an opening for lawn jockey… but he’ll have to bring your own klantern.

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    Joel Chandler Harris was the Southern Nostradamus. I would suggest a close rereading of “The Story of Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Fox.” Steele clearly has an urban and urbane handle on his Yoruba folk tales.

  • uncletravelingmatt

    Is “could face reprimand” Southern GOP-speak for “could be gently reminded that his name is Toby?”

  • chascates

    They’re going to this exotic place of Hawaii for this meeting? Why do they hate America?

  • J

    Any time I start to feel sorry for Steele being among that gang of racist two-bit thugs known as the modern Republican party, I listen to him doing something like denouncing Harry Reid today and realize, yeah, he’s just a conniving piece of self-loathing shit who will do anything for a dollar or some power, even if it means defending the likes of scumbags Trent Lott or Rush Limbaugh.

  • germansteel

    Bill Clinton was wondering if Steele will be pouring the coffee at the RNC meeting.

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    [re=492709]Tommmcatt[/re]: It’s wise not to mess with men named “Beverly.” My kinsman, Beverly Allen, was a defrocked Methodist missionary who murdered the U.S. marshal, Maj. Robert Forsyth, in Augusta on January 11, 1794. Our family still celebrates that day, because the mother-fucker had it coming to him.

  • Suds McKenzie

    [re=492709]Tommmcatt[/re]: or “Saxby”

    [re=492703]Joshua Norton[/re]: [re=492705]Squiggy[/re]: They better check their underwear on the return flight.

  • Hooray For Anything

    Steele was later quoted as saying “I’m not worried about my dawgs getting up in my grill, honest Injun.”

  • ella

    “I have no anticipation of anyone replacing Chairman Steele,” he said.
    Uh huh. Define “anticipation.”

  • skutre

    I thought they were going to Kenya.

    I’m confused, somebody bring me a new teabag.

  • Joshua Norton

    They better check their underwear on the return flight.

    There isn’t enough money in the world to get anyone to check their underwear. I say we just off them on general suspicion of doing something. They like things like that.

  • El Pinche

    I think the entire Conservative Party should go to Hawaii and have Heart Attacks.

  • JMP

    Robert Byrd’s hide was nailed to the barn door for lesser dumbass membership in a whites-only klub, where’s the shrillness now? Oh wait, that was the other party and Reps can do no wrong, let’s just kick at the dirt and whistle while avoiding any eye contact with one another…

  • gjdodger

    I think it was Colonel Racist in the Honolulu Hilton with the Hanging Chad.

  • donner_froh

    Dawson said he “planned weeks ago” to go to the meeting as a substitute for the current South Carolina GOP chairwoman, who will be absent because of a conflict.

    He must be going in drag. A Giulani supporter all the way.

  • engulfedinflames

    [re=492758]JMP[/re]: whistling and kicking, sir.

  • BeWoot

    [re=492689]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Um … milk chocolate? Nothing against Mr. Steele that he doesn’t deserve, but that man is the weirdest color I’ve ever seen on anybody who wasn’t Boener orange.

  • betterDeadThanRed

    But as Churchill noted: “Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” Unfortunately

  • S.Luggo

    [re=492704]slappypaddy[/re]: Me wants hold a wall-eyed, half-and-half, Boston Terrier close to me so its can makes me look intellectual.

  • DustBowlBlues

    “ME going to Hawaii.” WTF? Not only can the wingers not pronounce nuclear, they don’t even know how to use pronouns.

    Back here in the Dust Bowl, Me am waiting for wonkette to get a tip via Rachel’s show about the war among the teabaggers. Blood will be spilled, or maybe something ickier.

  • rocktonsammy

    Mike is whiter that Tucker Fucker.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Hang in there, Mikey. You’ll bring that urban-suburban, hip-hop style to the RNC. Every time I see this guy, I wonder why the term Uncle Tom went out of fashion.

  • S.Luggo
  • Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=492715]chascates[/re]: Cokie Roberts says, “YO KEY ARGH!”

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Sorry but I couldn’t get past the part where he was going to replace a woman. What?? I thought Rs impregnated, beat or left them for younger women–not replaced them.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So Katon Dawson just said fuck you to the whole black Republican vote — and he thinks he can win with that approach?

  • snideinplainsight

    If he is that Katon, who is the Onion?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=492817]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Dawson is quite sure he can win without those 7 votes, so no worries!

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=492817]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “the whole black Republican vote” consists of Steele, Alan Keyes & that cross-eyed dickhead Ron Christie (Cheney’s former butt boy who is always on MSNBC defending him). Can’t lose something you never had!

  • Bearbloke

    [re=492811]S.Luggo[/re]: Since this gathering is so sudden, will they have to buy hoods, nooses and crossed there, or are they coming with their own equipment?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=492825]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Great White Hunter Dick Cheney was very pleased that Christie has been well-trained to retrieve the quail without slobbering on it too much…

  • S.Luggo

    [re=492812]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]:
    This a.m. on NPR I heard Cokie describe Reid’s Obama comments as a “crisis”, rather than as flapdoodle, flutter, applesauce, bunkum, fiddle-faddle, oldster jive, baloney, de minimus, silly-saddle, gar-bage, smoke, insignificant, tempest in a teapot, caca-doo-doo, etc.
    So much for acute political analysis from the Cokester. Time to replace antique Cokie (‘regurgitate what everyone has already said’) Roberts with someone with who can speak his/her mind. Perhaps, Peewee Herman.
    “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Pinky?”

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=492825]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: You’re forgetting Clarence Thomas, the pube on the Coke can of affirmative action.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=492719]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: What, no details? Here’s what I found

  • sezme

    True fact: Rob Blagojovitch + Michael Steele is somewhat blacker than the sum total of Katon Dawson.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=492840]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And how could I forget Colin the Reluctant? Reluctant war promoter, reluctant Bush dissenter, reluctant victim of Cheney’s steamroller, reluctant non-resigner-in-protest — he’s done it all reluctantly, consistent with a man who has strong principles that he never expected to have to stand up for.

    Which brings us to Condi, whose main talent is that she plays an okay piano. Add that to woeful incompetence and she has two skills.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=492843]Bearbloke[/re]: and this – are you sure your clan isn’t a bunch of Aussies?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=492845]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I thought about the two Cs (Colin & Condi) but I seriously doubt that even they are Repubs now. And, to defend a sister, she can shop really well. That’s what she was doing while Katrina was drowning N’Awlins.

  • S.Luggo

    Nah. Far too subtle. Nothing to do with race (although one of a particularly cynical cast of mind, might guess that Mickey’s current, contra-Obama, RNC position has something to do with that.) The worst sin one can commit as a ReThug (regardless of skin color) is to throw doubt on one’s own party.

    Tough luck, Mickey. The Hawaii RNC meeting will become The Night of Long Poi.

    Next RNC chair: ex-House Representative J.C. Watts, who never spoke until spoken to. Nothing with him being dark-skinned negro, he’s just stupid as a bag of hammers.

    Or maybe Condi?

  • jtt

    Wow there was candidate for GOP chair named Saul Anuzis??

    It Sounds like something you get going camping without toilet paper. Cant believe I missed that.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=492851]jtt[/re]: Second generation Lithuanian. N.B.: Has never beem through a body scanner. Darn them Demrats.

    [re=492840]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Why he? Clarence Thomas has life tenure on US Constiutional Supremacist Court, plus free parking and valet service. He doesn’t ask any quastions during oral argument and doesn’t have to pen anything except the word “concur” after any opinion that Toney Scalia writes. Life is a royal bitch when you are the Clarence.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=492856]S.Luggo[/re]: Because Thomas benefitted from affirmative action and yet has worked consistently to oppose it.

  • Capitol Hillbilly

    That colored guy we hired just ain’t workin’ out. But at least we tried.

  • jtt

    Oh Second generation Lithuanian – please excuse my humor at the expense of his disability.

    Republican Lithuanians with Anus looking names will not be disparaged by this poster again. I stand corrected.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    [re=492874]jtt[/re]: Yep, he ran my state’s (Michigan) Republican Party for a few years.

    What a dumb-fucker this Michael Steele is. So dumb, in fact, that he thought that his slaveowners actually liked him. I’d be angry at the guy if he wasn’t so, so pitiful.

    BTW, the title of this thread was one of the best in a very long time. Katon is one of those bourgeois, aristocratic plantation family names, indeed.

  • Terry


    I think it has to be a bad makeup job. He looks so smoothly uniform in color with a lovely matte finish. I’ve seen Steele in person a few times at restaurants and such and looks more normal in his day to day, at least in appearance.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    When the coup happens will Steele be dragged by armed men onto the plane to go into exile or will he decide to shoot it out with the coup plotters, ala Allende? Good times.

  • TGY

    Sold down the river so soon?

  • TJBeck

    Apparently, he didn’t rejoin the kkkountry club, he NEVER LEFT. Asshole paid his dues in advance and just announced that he resigned. What a dick. I will vote for him to head RNC, because he could be (and this is amazing to me) perhaps even funnier than Michael Steele.

    Wait, no I take that back, nothing is funnier than Michael Steele. Honest injun.

  • hunter.blatherer

    “Dawson said he “planned weeks ago” to go to the meeting as a substitute for the current South Carolina GOP chairwoman, who will be absent because of a conflict.”

    This woman plans her conflicts carefully. Is she the one who’s going to bomb Yemen?