MONETIZABLE WEB SITES  9:31 pm January 10, 2010

140 Pulitzers In The Category Of ‘Doomsday Prophecy’ For Your Wonkette, Please

by Juli Weiner

We said there was no cure! Quarantine the “Twitter part” of the Internet now please. [Twitter]

UPDATE: Meg annotates this very confusing Twitter message with a follow-up Twitter message—as is customary in the hobby of journalism—after the jump.

Please hold all further questions until tomorrow’s column, i.e. the inevitable third clarification.

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Hola wonkerados.

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memzilla January 10, 2010 at 9:39 pm

Of course, the real way to scare the racist reThuglican conservatards is to have Michael Steele come out with a “column” for Meghan McJuggs McCain.

AKAM80TheWolf January 10, 2010 at 9:40 pm

I suppose we should at least be thankful that she’s warning us.

WickedWitch January 10, 2010 at 9:42 pm

[re=492062]memzilla[/re]: Oh Memzilla, you naughty boy you.

What Fresh Hell is This? January 10, 2010 at 9:56 pm

I think I will go to bed now, though I may be too excited to sleep. It’s like anticipating a visit of Santa Claus with breasts (ewww, that image didn’t work exactly as planned).

drrty martini January 10, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Oh, if only she would keep it to 140 characters.

Buttery1000 January 10, 2010 at 10:04 pm

Boy, I carnt wait until tomorrows to read it (to make it perfectly clear)

Hunger Tallest Palin January 10, 2010 at 10:12 pm

And well you may. Yes, my word, you may well ask what it is, this theory of mine. Well, this theory, that I have, that is to say, which is mine, is mine. (AHEM) This theory, which belongs to me, is as follows… (AHEM AHEM) This is how it goes… (HEM!) The next thing that I am about to say is my theory. (AHEM!) Ready?

effinHel January 10, 2010 at 10:24 pm

I am so happy to hear that Chairman Steel is finally coming out tomorrow. Now we are all Log Cabin Republicans! Also.

Naked Bunny with a Whip January 10, 2010 at 10:24 pm

Won’t someone please let Meg out of her telephone?

Bearbloke January 10, 2010 at 10:31 pm

[re=492065]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]:

♪♪Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, ejaculating on your face ♪♪…

Sweet dreams Mate! – enjoy your Santa-Moobs, and I’ll enjoy my lunch…

obfuscator January 10, 2010 at 10:33 pm

megs, can you pretty-please fucking start using apostrophes when they’re required? would that be too much to ask of someone who is actually paid to write things that are meant to be read by other people?

Decker January 10, 2010 at 10:39 pm

So tomorrow she’ll post a picture of Steele’s book next to her taped-up busoms?

CanadianBacon January 10, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Oh I get it now. She wrote ” Michael Steele coming out” and because he is a Republican eveyone naturally assumed she was writing about Michael admitting he was gay. People should have realized Republicans always stay in the closet or public bathroom stall and never come out except when arrested.

O_o January 10, 2010 at 10:48 pm

Meg, there’s no way you can take down Bovine Steele. Remember, he’s the mothafuckin’ cow on the muthafuckin’ tracks, byotch!

donner_froh January 10, 2010 at 10:56 pm

[re=492072]obfuscator[/re]: Tina Brown pays her? I was sure it was the other way around.

Bearbloke January 10, 2010 at 11:02 pm

Good Monday, Mizz Wonkett!

Thanks to the KenyIslamic Voodoo of teh Intarwebz, I can listen to Anderson Cooper (Miss Cooper, if you’re nasty) on 60 Minutes talk about what a desperate cluster-fuck the Palin selection was for McWALNUTS… their doomed love was a mistake from the very beginning, from when the leader of McFail’s selection team found BibleSpice on Utube whilst cruising for porn, to her selection as VP since Senator Juan’s first love, the loverly and coquettish Joe LIEberman, was discovered to be an UNSAVED GOP-unacceptable jew, to the Sisyphian efforts to cram Sarahcudda’s otherwise empty head with knowledge familiar to literate adults, and her Retardilicious inability to tell Obama and Biden apart (hint, Biden’s older) thus addressing Biden as “O’Biden” during the debate… I love American politics…. Palin 2012!!!1!!

El Pinche January 10, 2010 at 11:28 pm

Oooooh goody! I can’t wait!

I think we need to send iphones to our editors for going through the pain of following Meghan’s internet diarreah.

sezme January 10, 2010 at 11:40 pm

She should totally hold forth on Steele’s use/non-use/misuse of the negro-dialect.

Sparky McGruff January 10, 2010 at 11:44 pm

[re=492062]memzilla[/re]: Steele could “introduce his column” as “what up”.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 10, 2010 at 11:55 pm

Disappointedly, “Michael Steele” is what Meg calls her black, metal vibrator.

Terry January 11, 2010 at 12:01 am

Just when Steele thinks his week can’t get any worse, Megs outs him.

RoscoePColtraine January 11, 2010 at 12:17 am

We’ve all heard of “drunk dialing,” in cellphone parlance? Yes. Well let me introduce you to “drunk tweeting.” And “drunk posting to My Wonkett.

gurukalehuru January 11, 2010 at 1:09 am

Is Meg McCain secretly in love with Michael Steele?

Bearbloke January 11, 2010 at 1:19 am

Very OT, but it’s a lovely summer afternoon and my mind’s not on work…

Have you heard the new Michael Jackson & Lenny Kravitz single “Another Day”? Go get it and listen – I’ll wait till you return…

bynrdskynrd January 11, 2010 at 1:57 am

Would somebody please call her Wireless provider to see if Juggs McCain exceeded her bandwith limit on her Jesus Phone?

Srsly….It would be somewhat entertaining if I were two bowls into Oregon’s Finest Green (like watching “Sunset Tan”–stroned entertaining), but I just had the spider from my flask (once) full of Old Crow, and I can’t toke (Dammit!) cuz of the job. And the Park Rangers. And my employer’s Gestapo force. And unless she does something useful like fucking cures cancer instead of being a bimboesque form of one, I might get medieval on that ass…


Feel better now. Where’s that Robitussin…?

Darkness January 11, 2010 at 3:00 am

OT, headline: In interview, Blagojevich claims he’s ‘blacker’ than Obama, persecuted by law …

It had to happen, eventually. Black IS the . . . new black.

DC Hates Me January 11, 2010 at 3:19 am

I’m blacker than Obama .. Spartacus!

This site has been blocked: hxxp//

gurukalehuru January 11, 2010 at 3:27 am

[re=492085]Bearbloke[/re]: Here in Prague we are snowbound. It’s pretty, but I’d trade you.

gurukalehuru January 11, 2010 at 3:30 am

Rod Blagojevich is Mr. Black People – SHOW ME THE MONEY!

WDickwadC January 11, 2010 at 6:08 am

Sorry, where is the boob photo? Link?

anothercountryheardfrom January 11, 2010 at 6:51 am

If only Michael Steele were coming out.

Up To Here Again January 11, 2010 at 7:15 am

Did she clear it with the party first?

gurukalehuru January 11, 2010 at 7:43 am

The buildup was far more interesting than the the column itself, in which she says “well, sure, he’s screwed up a few times, but he’s only been in office a year and he did apologize for saying honest injun and besides, I don’t like it when people criticize me so why can’t we all just get along.”
That’s not the way to keep me reading your blog, Meghan.

Manos: Hands of Fate January 11, 2010 at 8:40 am

It’s Monday morning and there is nothing here about civil rights leader Michael Steele’s battle against racist Dixiecrat Harry Reid. What’s up with that?

loquaciousmusic January 11, 2010 at 9:13 am

I just read it, and I agree with Gurukalenuru: it’s less of a “column” and more of an “in-class essay.”

stew January 11, 2010 at 9:40 am

Megs believes words represent an excellent means of conveying one’s thoughts. Look at all the words she uses.

proudgrampa January 11, 2010 at 9:45 am

Can we haz picture of Meghan’s casabas? Please?

Escape Goat Nation January 11, 2010 at 10:01 am

I’m still confused.
What is she talking about?

Mr Blifil January 11, 2010 at 10:03 am


I am John McCain’s daughter from the marriage to his previous cunt/trollop with no discernible talent or aim in life, beyond partying and getting boned by doughy overage frat boys (after which I complain that the only men I can bone are doughy overage frat boys), I like to post cunningly cropped Twitterpics of my tits and then complain about the immoderate reactions from disgusto pervs, my Dad spent five and a half years in prison so I could live off the family riches he married into, and I write a column for the Daily Beast because if my Dad had not been able to secure me such a non-controversial, do-nothing appointment it would have indicated his complete and total irrelevancy as a tired ugly old grandpa/lech yammering preposterously about the state of the world, and this would have embarrassed the many broadcast executives that have booked him on every chat show from here to the moon, and I wrote something about Michael Steele because, according to my limited ambition and imagination, I think it’s the best way to get attention, and if you don’t fucking read it I will go back to cutting myself, now excuse me while I make plans for tonight’s binge-drinking fest where I will give myself up yet again to a group of doughy overage frat boys who will use me consecutively, but will positively barf if their little pencil dicks so much as touch.

Mr Blifil January 11, 2010 at 10:05 am

[re=492090]gurukalehuru[/re]: But Prague is the center of beer and nasty filthy dirty lecherous drunken sex. You lose.

montyburns4prez January 11, 2010 at 10:16 am

I think Meg just wants Michael to pay attention to her.

chaste everywhere January 11, 2010 at 10:31 am

[re=492085]Bearbloke[/re]: Thanks for waiting! And even furthermoreso, thanks for the link. (I didn’t know Lenny Kravitz was still alive.)

Gopherit January 11, 2010 at 10:32 am

[re=492139]Mr Blifil[/re]: I was going to ask people to imagine Megs’ foreplay dirty talk in light of these twats, but you have summed things up succinctly.

thefrontpage January 11, 2010 at 11:12 am

Mecant Kegcan is absolutely one of the biggest–pun intended–morons out there. She knows nothing about government and politics, she is an idiot, and she should retire from the spotlight and open a brothel in Nevada with Levi Jonnston.

chaste everywhere January 11, 2010 at 11:30 am

[re=492202]thefrontpage[/re]: How would they work out whose clients were whose?

Joey Ratz January 11, 2010 at 11:58 am

[re=492074]CanadianBacon[/re]: Gay? Nonono – you see, Meghan has finally figured out that Michael Steele is…wait for it…black!!! Can’t have that in the GOP, so Megs is outin’ his black ass.

IceCreamEmpress January 11, 2010 at 12:18 pm

Gay? Nonono – you see, Meghan has finally figured out that Michael Steele is…wait for it…black!!! Can’t have that in the GOP, so Megs is outin’ his black ass.

They’ve been confused, because Steele’s “Negro dialect” is worse than Harry Reid’s.

S.Luggo January 11, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Which “tomorrows”, Megster? Stop playing with my head.

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
[blah blah blah]
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to incomprehensible tweet.
[blah blah blah blah].
It is a tale
Told by an idiot [blah etc.]
[Stabbies self]

PickneyPinchback January 11, 2010 at 12:51 pm

This is hilarious. Meg Baby has all these conservatards following her Twatter, so that when she says something like “I have an article about Michael Steele tomorrow in the Daily Beast,” she is apparently bombarded with requests for clarification form people who CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS SIMPLE SENTENCE.

Apparently for even a simple sentence to be understandable to the homeschooled masses, it must have one of the following words inserted randomly: gun, God, gay, Nazi, Communist, Socialist. If none of these are inserted, the statement becomes incomprehensible.

June Cleaver 2.0 January 11, 2010 at 12:52 pm

Michael Steele is coming out tommorrow on the Daily Beast? Well, it’s about time is all I have to say. But why would Meghan devote a whole column to it? It’s no big deal really.

chascates January 11, 2010 at 2:01 pm

She pulls her punches anyway:
But let’s hold off on the firing squads. He’s had his role for only one year, and, like the rest of the party, is still adjusting and struggling to find his identity. I understand from personal experience how hard it is to be criticized by fellow Republicans. There is something that particularly stings about negative comments by people whose side you are on.

mumblyjoe January 11, 2010 at 2:19 pm

That’s not the way to keep me reading your blog, Meghan
I know! I mean, there were zero boobs shots. How is that supposed to keep my interest?

zhubajie January 11, 2010 at 8:54 pm

She sh’d write for the Daily Breast instead! Bare’em Megan! Then go back to obscurity.

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