We said there was no cure! Quarantine the “Twitter part” of the Internet now please. [Twitter]

UPDATE: Meg annotates this very confusing Twitter message with a follow-up Twitter message—as is customary in the hobby of journalism—after the jump.

Please hold all further questions until tomorrow’s column, i.e. the inevitable third clarification.

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  1. I think I will go to bed now, though I may be too excited to sleep. It’s like anticipating a visit of Santa Claus with breasts (ewww, that image didn’t work exactly as planned).

  2. And well you may. Yes, my word, you may well ask what it is, this theory of mine. Well, this theory, that I have, that is to say, which is mine, is mine. (AHEM) This theory, which belongs to me, is as follows… (AHEM AHEM) This is how it goes… (HEM!) The next thing that I am about to say is my theory. (AHEM!) Ready?

  3. megs, can you pretty-please fucking start using apostrophes when they’re required? would that be too much to ask of someone who is actually paid to write things that are meant to be read by other people?

  4. Oh I get it now. She wrote ” Michael Steele coming out” and because he is a Republican eveyone naturally assumed she was writing about Michael admitting he was gay. People should have realized Republicans always stay in the closet or public bathroom stall and never come out except when arrested.

  5. Good Monday, Mizz Wonkett!

    Thanks to the KenyIslamic Voodoo of teh Intarwebz, I can listen to Anderson Cooper (Miss Cooper, if you’re nasty) on 60 Minutes talk about what a desperate cluster-fuck the Palin selection was for McWALNUTS… their doomed love was a mistake from the very beginning, from when the leader of McFail’s selection team found BibleSpice on Utube whilst cruising for porn, to her selection as VP since Senator Juan’s first love, the loverly and coquettish Joe LIEberman, was discovered to be an UNSAVED GOP-unacceptable jew, to the Sisyphian efforts to cram Sarahcudda’s otherwise empty head with knowledge familiar to literate adults, and her Retardilicious inability to tell Obama and Biden apart (hint, Biden’s older) thus addressing Biden as “O’Biden” during the debate… I love American politics…. Palin 2012!!!1!!

  6. We’ve all heard of “drunk dialing,” in cellphone parlance? Yes. Well let me introduce you to “drunk tweeting.” And “drunk posting to My Wonkett.

  7. Would somebody please call her Wireless provider to see if Juggs McCain exceeded her bandwith limit on her Jesus Phone?

    Srsly….It would be somewhat entertaining if I were two bowls into Oregon’s Finest Green (like watching “Sunset Tan”–stroned entertaining), but I just had the spider from my flask (once) full of Old Crow, and I can’t toke (Dammit!) cuz of the job. And the Park Rangers. And my employer’s Gestapo force. And unless she does something useful like fucking cures cancer instead of being a bimboesque form of one, I might get medieval on that ass…


    Feel better now. Where’s that Robitussin…?

  8. OT, headline: In interview, Blagojevich claims he’s ‘blacker’ than Obama, persecuted by law …

    It had to happen, eventually. Black IS the . . . new black.

  9. The buildup was far more interesting than the the column itself, in which she says “well, sure, he’s screwed up a few times, but he’s only been in office a year and he did apologize for saying honest injun and besides, I don’t like it when people criticize me so why can’t we all just get along.”
    That’s not the way to keep me reading your blog, Meghan.

  10. It’s Monday morning and there is nothing here about civil rights leader Michael Steele’s battle against racist Dixiecrat Harry Reid. What’s up with that?

  11. Furthermore:

    I am John McCain’s daughter from the marriage to his previous cunt/trollop with no discernible talent or aim in life, beyond partying and getting boned by doughy overage frat boys (after which I complain that the only men I can bone are doughy overage frat boys), I like to post cunningly cropped Twitterpics of my tits and then complain about the immoderate reactions from disgusto pervs, my Dad spent five and a half years in prison so I could live off the family riches he married into, and I write a column for the Daily Beast because if my Dad had not been able to secure me such a non-controversial, do-nothing appointment it would have indicated his complete and total irrelevancy as a tired ugly old grandpa/lech yammering preposterously about the state of the world, and this would have embarrassed the many broadcast executives that have booked him on every chat show from here to the moon, and I wrote something about Michael Steele because, according to my limited ambition and imagination, I think it’s the best way to get attention, and if you don’t fucking read it I will go back to cutting myself, now excuse me while I make plans for tonight’s binge-drinking fest where I will give myself up yet again to a group of doughy overage frat boys who will use me consecutively, but will positively barf if their little pencil dicks so much as touch.

  12. [re=492139]Mr Blifil[/re]: I was going to ask people to imagine Megs’ foreplay dirty talk in light of these twats, but you have summed things up succinctly.

  13. Mecant Kegcan is absolutely one of the biggest–pun intended–morons out there. She knows nothing about government and politics, she is an idiot, and she should retire from the spotlight and open a brothel in Nevada with Levi Jonnston.

  14. [re=492074]CanadianBacon[/re]: Gay? Nonono – you see, Meghan has finally figured out that Michael Steele is…wait for it…black!!! Can’t have that in the GOP, so Megs is outin’ his black ass.

  15. Gay? Nonono – you see, Meghan has finally figured out that Michael Steele is…wait for it…black!!! Can’t have that in the GOP, so Megs is outin’ his black ass.

    They’ve been confused, because Steele’s “Negro dialect” is worse than Harry Reid’s.

  16. Which “tomorrows”, Megster? Stop playing with my head.

    To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
    Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
    [blah blah blah]
    And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
    The way to incomprehensible tweet.
    [blah blah blah blah].
    It is a tale
    Told by an idiot [blah etc.]
    [Stabbies self]

  17. This is hilarious. Meg Baby has all these conservatards following her Twatter, so that when she says something like “I have an article about Michael Steele tomorrow in the Daily Beast,” she is apparently bombarded with requests for clarification form people who CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS SIMPLE SENTENCE.

    Apparently for even a simple sentence to be understandable to the homeschooled masses, it must have one of the following words inserted randomly: gun, God, gay, Nazi, Communist, Socialist. If none of these are inserted, the statement becomes incomprehensible.

  18. Michael Steele is coming out tommorrow on the Daily Beast? Well, it’s about time is all I have to say. But why would Meghan devote a whole column to it? It’s no big deal really.

  19. She pulls her punches anyway:
    But let’s hold off on the firing squads. He’s had his role for only one year, and, like the rest of the party, is still adjusting and struggling to find his identity. I understand from personal experience how hard it is to be criticized by fellow Republicans. There is something that particularly stings about negative comments by people whose side you are on.

  20. [re=492096]gurukalehuru[/re]:
    That’s not the way to keep me reading your blog, Meghan
    I know! I mean, there were zero boobs shots. How is that supposed to keep my interest?

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