Yikes! How dare he overlay this lovely Legend of Zelda soundtrack with such vile language. RIDICULOUSLY UNAFFORDABLE IDEAS. Ha, if WALNUTS! here ever brings back “th-th-that’s not ch-change we can b-b-b-believe in,” then… well then that would just be funny. [YouTube]
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{ 68 comments }
McCain was held prisoner by Octaroks for FIVE AND A HALF &c.
Check out the crusty teabags on that curmudgeon. Or not.
Jeez if I were Barry I’d get WALNUTS on the blower so fast and say, “John — do you think before you read the shit they put in front of you? Do you really want to say I’m trying to bankrupt America?”
Why doesn’t Walnuts just retire already? Oh, because he can’t stand his c—t of a wife & he’s embarrassed to be around his daughter with the big boobz.
“Perhaps no battle in our lifetime is as important as the one John McCain fights now…”
Get off my LAWN!!!
Character matters? Then why the fuck would we vote for you?
Also, what ever happened to his fabulous cheek pouches?
I am curious which foe he thinks he vanquished? If my memory serves me correctly, he was a lot better at destroying American planes (and ships if you count the Forrestal) than enemy planes.
And I swear that’s Morgan Freeman narrating.
HYPER-BOLE!!1
Oh boy is right — I hope he tries to “knock around” the President and has the Secret Service squash him like a bug. The one “ridiculously unaffordable” idea he mentions is completely paid for in the bill — good thing they didn’t need to bother with that balderdash when starting two wars in the good old Bush years.
As a matter of fact, I’m so mad that if I saw John McCain in person I’d knock the onion right off his belt.
As I stated before, I still believe everytime Palin says something stupid, someone should punch McCain in the crotch. Or at least point out he inflicted that on America.
[re=491498]Gopherit[/re]: He decided to eat the walnuts instead of carrying them around all the time?
So slurry – sounds like he had been knocked in the head a time or two. Anyhow, Obi-Wan, you’re our only hope.
Way to cover the McCain radios ads exhaustively, Wonkett.
NICE MOVE, DICKFACES!
[re=491504]glamourdammerung[/re]: From Sully: “What a loser McCain is. His soul has been sold so many times now it’s a wonder it’s not on eBay. And yet he is so useless as a politician, so incapable of winning any national election, and so desperate to do so, he may also have destroyed his career and party in the process.”
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2010/01/palin-1-schmidt-0.html#more
Legend of Zelda? That’s some 1980′s reference machine you got there in the Wonkette office
They say the prune years are the ones with the best leadership skills. If you can synergize your bowels to propagate a stubborn turd, then you can combat NOBAMBIs Leftist Agenda.
More importantly, why have we not heard from Extemporaneous?
Didn’t you know that Ganon was a socialist? Wait… no he was a giant pig, so he was obviously meant to represent capitalism.
You know, in Walnut’s defense, oh forget it there is no defense.
[re=491511]emmasue[/re]: Jim keeps the flame alive with an Amiga emulator on his Mac.
John McCain is our last line of defense?
god i hope this doddering fool loses that seat he thinks he’s been entitled to ever since cindy bought it for him. although that probably means he’ll finally be able to devote the remaining 10% of his time that his actual job took up to being on my tv, losing always seems to make republican garbage(yeah i know that’s redundant) more valuable to the village.
Jesus H. Christ on a Goddamn Tricycle. How many bullets is it going to take before the GOP is declared really, truly, most sincerely dead?
I’ve been away – is this a trailer for that “Avatar” movie I keep hearing about?
[re=491510]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I wish Sully would pick a lane. But for the most part, he’s right about Schmidt. God, this is just like Jersey Shore.
Its every presidents job to bankrupt the country, don’cha know. And Bush did enough of it for 2 presidents.
So the same obnoxious campaign ads that lost him the presidential election are good enough for the Arizona Senate election, apparently. I hope they get him the same results, too. Have fun slinking around your seven houses, Senator Not-the-President — I’d say I’ll miss you, but 1) You’ll doubtless be showing up on every talk show that’ll have you, and 2) I won’t miss you.
[re=491513]bitchincamaro[/re]: I’ve been wondering about him too, ever since that New Year’s Eve thing. I hope he’s okay.
remind me again why hopey did this guy a favor, and appointed the lady who was guaranteed to take his senate seat from him?
Hoo boy, who was the agency on that one?!? Is this the product of Bristol’s new co?
[re=491498]Gopherit[/re]: Also, what ever happened to his fabulous cheek pouches?
They shot that profile on his “good” side. He always keeps the walnuts on the OTHER side. It’s a John McCain thing.
[re=491508]sezme[/re]: “Sounds like he had been knocked in the head a time or two…”
Yeah, the strong masculine voice of the narrator backfires, because when Grampa Simpson comes on and talks, he sounds like someone who’s worried about his pudding getting stolen at lunch…
He will stop this socialist, fascist, communist, monster with his soon-to-be cold, dead hand attached to his cold, dead body.
John McCain is Arizona’s last line of defense? Against what exactly? The elected representatives of the Senate and House? The President who beat him by almost 10 million votes? The fucking legislative process? He’s a goddamn Senator, for cripes sake.
God, Walnuts is embarrassing. As disappointing as Barry is to me, at least he is a class act.
He just likes to get behind things.
Greetings Senator McCain! You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada!
[re=491501]freakishlystrong[/re]: Maybe a hyperbolo tie? Something sensitive perhaps, like teabaggin’ some trucknutz.
How were they able to pry Charleton Heston’s cold, dead vocal chords apart to do the voice-over on that bit?
Something tells me there are millions of unsold golf divot tools waiting in a warehouse in Scottsdale, ready for the next campaign.
bullshit.
from
the
master
[re=491519]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: In that vein, there is an article today on WaPo about Michael Steele’s stealth book. It mentions how infuriated Republican leaders were about Steele’s recent statements. They were so mad that “their top aides pleaded with Steele’s handlers to get him to stop.” Wow, bet he’s scared.
That hyperlink better work or it’s gonna be a mess.
[re=491542]PsycGirl[/re]: Your hyperlink takes you to the Google search results for HTML tags. It is very meta.
Five and a Half beats 30 Acres and a Mule anyday. SAVE US FRUM REPARATING THE NIGRA!!1!!
Mr. Puuuuddddles!
[re=491545]Cicada[/re]: fuck. http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2010/01/steeles-book-caught-gop-leader.html?hpid=topnews is what I intended.
[re=491510]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Wow, who knew Captain Sullenberger was so down on McCain?[re=491509]SmutBoffin[/re]: Radio’s where McCain reaches his base most efficiently. “World’s greatest music” and “easy listening.” Particularly there in Arizona. And by the way, when you go to Phoenix — which you shouldn’t do — dontcha find yourself wondering: Why is there a city here? It’s got to be a mistake.
He is the least inspiring public speaker since Lester Maddox.
Well I tuned into The Blaze (The Home of Rock) to listen to the Wacky Zany Morning Zoo Crew Show and heard no mention of it.
Impending FAIL
Solid Potato Salad is the only cure…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNR74UCidBI
He “stood in the way” of Obama? Yeah, and Obama crushed him like a steamroller. Seriously, I hope and pray Obama hears this crap and it finally disabuses him of the notion that backstabbing jerks like McCain want to “work with him.” The ad also neglects to mention how McCain put America LAST with his criminally irresponsible VP nomination, which had to be one of the most cynically made VP choices in the history of the country.
[re=491564]V572625694[/re]: Conveniently, there’s a highway that lets you drive straight through, right outta town.
Is that fucking Kelsey “American-Carol” Grammer I hear narrating, because I think it is?
“American Carol” was box office gold!
It cost 20 Million to make and brought back 7 Million.
[re=491590]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Whoa. I think you’re right. Somebody needs to get Kelsey back on the coca-cola…
[re=491578]Mr Blifil[/re]: That was generally pretty amazing. Thank you.
[re=491578]Mr Blifil[/re]: I’d hit that x 3.
[re=491513]bitchincamaro[/re]: [re=491525]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Everyone:
- …. -..- / ..-. — .-. / -. -.– . / —.. —..
-.-. ..- .-.. / -.-. — — .-. .- -.. . …
–… …– / -..-
[re=491590]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: I had thought F. Murray Abraham, but I think you’re right, he is a right wing loon according to all reports.
[re=491532]Cicada[/re]: John McCain is Arizona’s last line of defense? Against what exactly?
Zee Germans.
Just kidding as the answer is “the democratically elected government of the United States”. You know, the same side he worked against during the Vietnam War when he was helping “Charlie”.
He stands in Obamas way every day, then Barry should knock his old ass out
He might just be the most corrupt politician going..corrupt because he is SO unqualified to do anything and doesn’t give a flying fuck about anyone but himself
Die old man
[re=491737]Extemporanus[/re]: Well, glad to see you. I didn’t catch the whole message, ’cause those ellipsis and dashes drove several morse translators batty.
Ohmigod! His “last battle” ? The one he lost to the Negro president, or the one in which he crashed his second plane in Viet-Nam (not including the one that collided with power lines) at a cost to taxpayers of millions of dollars? And what exactly has Saggy Face (melanoma man) actually done to save or create jobs, except to shoot at Obama’s (or anybody else’s) attempts to improve the situation?
WTF!
“IN A WORLD where millions are threatened with having access to health insurance, AMERICA NEEDS A REAL HERO … & Johnny “Wet-Start” McCain is THE MAN FOR THE JOB.”
“Mumble mumble drone blurt mumble.”
A few bruises my ass – sounds more like a severe concussion to me.
Best McCain laugh I’ve had since he got into a hissy fit over strict time-limits on Senate HCR debate – waving his tiny babylike fists & mewling over an atrocity that “I’ve never seen happen in this chamber before [ - nope, not even when I invoked them myself, heh heh, guess I must've been doing some extra-fat rails of Cindy's designer crank that day ]” … obviously the man’s brainworm has no intention of dieting.
Holy balls. Did they get the voice of Squidbillies’ Dan Halen (i.e. Todd Hanson) to do this?
I don’t remember ever hating this sack-of-tumors so much as I do now. Jesus, somebody get him in a small aircraft, pronto. Isn’t there a flight of stairs he can fall down somewhere?
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