Giuliani Now Competing With Michael Steele For ‘Most Clownish Republican’ Title

  he kept us safe

Rudy Giuliani could have made a decent living as a Bette Midler impersonator, but instead he selflessly pursued a career as a ferret-faced political hack and failed presidential candidate. Today on Good Morning America he made the very trenchant observation that George W. Bush did not allow any domestic terrorist attacks during his presidency. This is completely true, if you disregard 9/11 and that anthrax thingy and also the shoe bomber, not to mention American Idol. [YouTube via TPM]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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103 comments

  1. stew

    In fairness, he wasn’t wearing a dress and doing his transvestite routine when he said that. That would have made him look stupid.

  2. gurukalehuru

    Perino, Matalin and now Giuliani. I believe this is coincidence about as much as I believe that some Fox News intern just accidentally mixed up the R and the D on the keyboard.

  3. slavojzizek

    And under Clinton the World Trade Center was bombed! (seriously kids, look it up). It’s only under Republicans that nothing like that ever happens. And its only Republican mayors who have the wisdom to build expensive command centers in buildings that have already been the target of terrorist attacks, so that next time they can the command center can get blown up, too.

  4. memzilla

    This is at least the second time conservatards have lied about this.

    I think we’ll have to call this “No Attacks Under Bush” Meme O’ Lies Danaperinosis, the inability to tell the truth about GW Bush while one’s voice is distorted by the asshat one is wearing.

  5. schvitzatura

    9u1l1ani would have been batting at least as good a Bernie Williams’ AL 1998 average(.33868), with regard to releasing Gitmo detainees back to the Learning Annex of terrorist training states…

  6. JMP

    These guys count on the American people being stupid and having short memories, but really, does Rudy think that people don’t even remember that one big attack that I think he talks about every great once in a while?

  7. JMP

    [re=491315]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Now, that was only a terrorist attack when we thought it was a Muslin, probably Saddam Hussein. Just like how the DC sniper was referred to as a terrorist, until it turned out to be regular black guys; then they became thugs, a term with no racial overtones.

  8. ForTheTurnstiles

    OT: the Tea Party Forum is quite a scene. Which one of you scamps started the thread on Communists infiltrating the government?

  9. AnSnarkist

    [re=491322]JMP[/re]: Yeah, after years of Bush and Friends constantly reminding us of 9/11, we’re suddenly supposed to forget about it.

  10. BlueStateLibtard

    Duh, liberals, Manhattan is not “Real America,” not even close, so obviously it’s not part of the United States.

  11. gurukalehuru

    I think the only way to shut these people up would be to put them on the witness stand. Starting with Dana Perino because, although I’m not certain, I suspect that she’s the stupidest of the three.

  12. Come here a minute

    Meant to say no attacks on Real America. The hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation.

  13. doxastic

    You know, so long as we’re counting laughable failures as successful attacks, remember when the country was brought to its knees by those Miami dingleberries trying to procure “genuine Islamic army boots?” A nation wept….

  14. Gopherit

    I hear PTSD can cause memory lapses. Almost dying in 9/11 might have done it to poor Rudy.

    [re=491315]ManchuCandidate[/re]: It doesn’t count as terrorism unless the perp is brown.

  15. WarAndG

    Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusional! Or “terrorism” is simply another propaganda tool for which right-wads can divide and conquer the country by kowtowing to “real America’s” fears as they prop up global corporate/military imperialism.

    Oh fuck it they’re just delusional.

    Go ahead, just cherry pick history to fit your world view you faggots because nobody can even remember what they had for breakfast this morning.

    My brain just melted.

  16. El Pinche

    Also the shoe bomber and the highway sniper. Can the interviewer help us out here? Of course not, he just let Tootsie spew that garbage.

  17. jodyleek

    Did whichever bozo that was interviewing Drooliani not counter his bullshit? I really don’t want to look up the rest of it.

  18. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    Oh for fuck’s sake I quit. I mean come on! If George was even like 1/8th journalist he should have stopped him mid sentence and bitch-slapped those goofy fucking glasses off his head.

    There we go, I’m starting my own teevee show. It’ll be called “Lie or Say Stupid Crap and get the Shit Slapped out of You!” And, you know, when we’re low budget I’ll do all the slapping but once this catches fire, and oh, it will, I’ll hire that Steve guy from Jerry Springer and invite celebrity guest slappers like Duane “The Rock” Johnson.

    Imagine that, if you will:

    Giuliani: We had no domethtic attackth under Bush; we had one…

    Giuliani (rocking himself in the fetal position on the ground): Shit, thomeone dithlocated my eye thocket!

    I’m telling you, it’s Calvinball 3000. They just don’t care. They don’t give a single tiny ounce of a shit.

  19. Larry McAwful

    Hey, did you know that if you look it up on Google, it says that during the September 11, 2001 attacks, George W. Bush actually was president? I bet Rudy doesn’t know that. Someone should drop him an email about it. Google is a really useful research tool. I’m glad I found out about it!

  20. thesheriffisnear

    If I were a trained and credentialed behaviorist I’d call it cognitive dissonance. As I am not so qualified I can only call it being a FUCKING IDIOT.

  21. Mustang

    re=491309]gurukalehuru[/re]: Psycho Lee Atwater and his troll-like protege’ Karl Rove taught their boys that lying is the way to go. Not skewing, not twisting not evading — just outright lying. Just lie and lie and lie. It works because people are as dumb as cows going to slaughter.

  22. Ducksworthy

    Oh thank Gawd! that whole 9/11 horror show was just another of my delirium tremens episodes like the bugs on the wall and my face melting in the mirror. It never happened! There is no mysterious unknown person out there who mailed anthrax to Tom Daschle’s office and was never caught. In fact every awful thing I remember about the Bush years was a fevered nightmare. Thank you Dr. Judith

  23. Paul Tardy

    “9/11 and that anthrax thingy” Why don’t you Wonk-offs bring up Pearl Harbor while your at it.

  24. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    [re=491349]El Pinche[/re]: And here’s the thing, and here’s where I have to put the snark aside. I just don’t know how to beat it. I mean, even Karl Rove made an attempt to be sneaky and wipe the fingerprints off. Now they just don’t care, it’s a matter of telling the most heinous lies as fast and often as possible, and people will believe it. They’ll believe it because these lies are visceral and tweak at primal nerves.

    And no, no one is going to remember 911 because 911 marked the shifting of epochs. The world before and after were not the same and so the event itself does not count. AS for the anthrax letters and the shoe bomber, clearly people just don’t care because the only people I see giving half a shit about the shoe bomber comparisons are lefty bloggers and media types lamely trying not to get completely railroaded in the ass by the conservative push to paint Mr. I-Can’t-Even-Blow-Up-My-Dick-Properly as the second coming of Osama bin Laden.

    God I need a brick of weed and a punch in the face from a one legged hooker.

  25. JMP

    [re=491341]Gopherit[/re]: And looking back, there was also the guy who shot up the Unitarian church because they were too liberal and nice to teh gays; and the neo-Nazi who just died who tried to shoot up the Holocaust Museum. But no, they were good white Christians.

    To be fair, Rudy also doesn’t count the white-guy terrorists under Obama, like the NRA nut in Pittsburgh who killed a bunch of cops because he was afraid they might take his guns from his cold, dead hands; or Dr. Tiller’s assassin.

  26. Mr Blifil

    He’s also on record as saying that Obama waited 12 days (it was 72 hours) before commenting on the Underpants Blaster, and that Richard Reid attacked with his shoes 6 months PRIOR to 9/11.

    My theory is brain damage from falling debris.

  27. freakishlystrong

    They got their talking points. Bill-o has predicted the end of Obama’s presidency if he has one more “terror” attack on his watch. Per O’gasbaggy there have been 3 already, and yes, none under Bush.
    Unfortunately, the idocracy takes this shit seriously.

  28. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    [re=491364]JMP[/re]: The fundamental flaw in your thinking is that you’re assuming terrorism can be committed by anyone whose skin isn’t brown. Obviously this isn’t the case. White-guy terrorism isn’t terrorism at all.

    It must be because we white guys don’t evoke feelings of terror or something. I know I’m a cuddly fucking teddy bear.

  29. El Pinche

    [re=491363]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: good points . If you find a brick of weed in the middle of winter, let me know. I’ll take shit weed at this point. I don’t care.

  30. SayItWithWookies

    Oh, and if we include Fort Hood, then we’d better include the Kuwait grenade attack. No, it’s not domestic, but it was perpetrated by an American against Americans on an American military base — just like Fort Hood. Oh, and that perp wasn’t waterboarded or sent to Gitmo either — which means, obviously, that it must’ve happened before 9/11.

  31. Jim89048

    In fairness, I don’t think it’s ever been proven that any hired household help has been complicit in any terrorisms, so it depends on your definition of domestic.

  32. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    [re=491374]El Pinche[/re]: The weed’s easy, it’s the one legged hooker that generally poses a problem.

  33. x111e7thst

    [re=491380]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Only if you insist on restricting your search to the continental US

  34. Godless Liberal

    Now let’s not be mean to Rudy. He’s always crowing about 9/11 this and 9/11 that, but have you once heard him say what year?

  35. Oh hell to the no

    He just wants to talk about 9/11 and realizes he’ll look like an asshole for bringing it up, so he’s hoping someone else will. After all, better to look like an asshole for not bringing it up.
    Richard Reid, also.

  36. WIDTAP

    Or it all could be an elaborate plot to completely disgrace the Republican party to leave only the Democrats and the TEA party. Palin/Giuliani (Teabaggers) 2012!

  37. mardam422

    [re=491345]jodyleek[/re]: No, he didn’t. And the headline on the GMA site for that story was: Rudy: No terrorist attacks under bush…one under Obama.

    So I guess that jounalism thing is off the table now for good.

  38. JMP

    [re=491370]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Or white-guy terrorism is a good thing. Just read elsewhere that NY Rep. Peter King, who attacked Obama for not using the word “terrorism” enough (also while talking to Georgie-boy), was a big-time supporter of the IRA in the 1980s. And going to Catholic school at that time, I knew a lot of kids who were proud of their parents’ support for those terrorists.

  39. Berkeley Bear

    In Rudy’s world, none of the stuff you guys are talking about because we were “safe” from attacks for at least a year of Bush’s 2 terms if you take everything up until Sept. 10, 2001 and tack on the last six months of 2008.

    Also, we apparently have no responsibility for how all our allies suffered attacks (Aberdeen and London bombings, Spanish train bombings, etc.) largely tied to the fact they were our allies in Iraq/Afghanistan, or how American and Euro tourists became special targets for terrorists the world over (Bali, Mumbai, etc.).

  40. JMP

    [re=491396]mardam422[/re]: But George Snuffalaphagous worked for Clinton, so his hosting GMA proves the media has a liberal bias!

  41. Scarab

    No attacks if you don’t count the shoe bomber, anthrax, or 9/11.
    No attacks if you don’t read either.

  42. ProfessorJukes

    [re=491322]JMP[/re]: The lies are easy to spread and become more believable when Mr. Snuffaluffagus doesn’t even BLINK when faced with that statement.

  43. bynrdskynrd

    C’mon folks: its GMA he’s saying this on…everyone there waits until after the shoot to do their ‘stoner speedball’ and catch up with this closeted lisper on talking points.

    He said it–now the RNC will run with it as G-D’s honest truth. Also.

  44. 2goats

    This has gone beyond coincidence. It is clearly a concerted effort to simply ignore history, displaying utter contempt for the intelligence, ability to recall and discernment of the American people. A well founded contempt given the reaction.

  45. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    [re=491407]bynrdskynrd[/re]: All of a sudden I have this image of the GMA staff, all with white residue under their noses, going over tape and saying, “Holy shit, he said THAT?!”

  46. Bowdoin

    [re=491316]memzilla[/re]: In all fairness, their defense is, “We never lie; it’s just that we’re locked in an echo chamber with teabagger twits and ignorance is catching!”

  47. weejee

    [re=491346]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: MSM journalism is Calvinball, Tommy Hobbes’ Leviathan is laughin’ his ass off, and Tommy Nast is just rollin’ in his grave.

  48. weejee

    [re=491408]thefrontpage[/re]: Indeed–round, red, stained about the edges and George Staphlocaca was just dunkin’ his head right up that very doughnut.

  49. Bowdoin

    [re=491330]gurukalehuru[/re]: I don’t think she’s stupid, she’s just a windup doll. She’s used to being handed the script and toddling out and delivering it. Remember when she told us “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” referred only to the swabbies aboard the USS Lincoln? And then later Doofus sort of apologized for that silly bit of chest-thumping. Which meant, unless the windup doll was wrong, that those folk aboard the Lincoln actually didn’t do a swell job.

  50. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    And here’s what’s wrong with the reporting in this country. Georgie Stuffanappleupthis wrote a correction to this on his BLOG.

    The lie floats out there on national television, and the correction comes in a blog post. This is made worse by the fact that I seriously question the ability of those people most likely to believe the Giuliani lie to use the internet.

    I don’t think the weed nor the one legged hooker is going to get me there this time.

  51. Bowdoin

    [re=491347]Larry McAwful[/re]: Apparently neither did Dohbya nor any of his co-conspirators know who was PotUS on 9-11. He hid under the bed the livelong day while the real leaders did their very ineffectual deciding.

  52. Gorillionaire

    There is an even bigger question here, a meta question, if you will. WHY IN THE JIMMY OLSEN IS ANYONE INTERVIEWING GIULIANI ABOUT ANYTHING ON TV ANYMORE? Christ already – how long was it since he was mayor of anything, or had any real political influence? The man orchestrated the most spectacular burn out in presidential election history and then became a glorified shamwow salesman. And we have this fucker on tv to talk about his opinion about anything? I hate tv now.

  53. Fox News Light

    [re=491322]JMP[/re]: “Republicans count on Americans being stupid and having short memories” – Abraham Lincoln

    My new email signature.

  54. BlueStateLibtard

    Rudy Ghouliani: “I’m America’s mayor, 9/11, 9/11, Never Forget, 9/11…. What 9/11??” The guy is just a certifiable loon at this point.

  55. JMP

    [re=491443]Gorillionaire[/re]: The same reason Newt Ginrich is still considered an authority about everything. You know, I kind of miss how Bob “Bob Dole” Dole bowed out gracefully by becoming a Viagra pitchman.

  56. S.Luggo

    Hey, Mayor Tranny. No, domestic terrorism, eh?

    So what do you call
    The 2006 shooting of 10 Amish school children at Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania?
    The 2002 Beltway Sniper’s murder of 10 motorists?
    The July 4, 2002 killing of two tourists by Hesham Mohamed Hadayet at an LAX ticket counter?
    The April 16, 2007 Virginia Tech massacre, etc.?

    Shit happens?

  57. Hooray For Anything

    [re=491432]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: That seems to be standard MO these days. Like with the Death Panels. The Republicans talked about Death Panels and over again for several weeks until the press (probably because they got so much flack for it) suddenly decided to say the Republicans were wrong but by that time, it was too late and all the old folks believed Obama was going to personally kill them. The worst part is that somewhere along the line, the press always starts to lay all the blame not on themselves but at Obama/Democrats for not doing a good enough job of pushing back on it. Which means that at some point in the future, a columnist or TV pundit is going to say Obama isn’t doing a good enough job of countering Republican claims that 9/11 didn’t happen under Bush.

  58. Oldskool

    I don’t remember ever seeing an entire political party come completely unhinged at the same time. And they did it intentionally expecting a positive outcome. Makes me miss psycedelics.

  59. bitchincamaro

    Giuliani and Stephanopoulos should do their buttsexing and mutual pud pounding in private. I know they’re both brain dead media whores, but please ABC, stop subjecting thinking, normal humans from this all too public fecal orgy.

  60. 9/11 is a verb

    Can this really be their strategy? If it wasn’t so FUCKING aggravating it would be funny. “We’ll just tell everyone there WAS no attack under Bush’s watch…that’ll fool them”? Really??? Really? The Dems are just lucky that this is what their up against, and not an actualy viable political establishment.
    Also..I kind of think of Rudi as the Jew that turned in his family and friends to the Nazis..just a sniveling little coat-tail rider with no soul

    Ok all..have a great day!

  61. SayItWithWookies

    [re=491461]marley[/re]: Or maybe that 9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, since it was really punishment from The LORD for allowing gays to marry and for not burning witches and all that.

  62. sarcasticusername

    the real star of this clip is george stephawhatever, i can only dream of becoming such a respected hack when i grow up.
    it’s truly amazing how little time it has taken to reach the point where simply acknowledging reality is viewed as unseemly antagonism, and well outside the bounds of journalistic responsibility. but at least george will still be invited to all of rudy’s cocktail parties, and that’s truly what life is all about.
    how long before we officially declare this decade fucked as well?

  63. Cicada

    [re=491457]S.Luggo[/re]: If you really want a domestic analog to Al Qaeda, look to the lurvely anti-abortion folks. They have it all! Bombings, threats, shootings, anthrax letters, crazy anti-American rants (‘cuz we’re a baby-killing nation, dontcha know). I was “lucky” enough to work at a clinic in 2001. We got two fake anthrax letters within a few months of 9/11. Our clinic director had to start wearing a respirator and gloves when she opened the mail. We had bomb threats phoned in around once a month or so, probably spurred on by Falwell and his ilk blaming 9/11 on abortion providers. Oh, and Eric Rudolph was still on the lam and threatening to kill abortion providers. Good times, good times.

    But thanks to Rudy and the rest of the GOP’ers, I can now rest assured that that was not terrorism. Nope, not at all. Not one fucking bit. Yippee!

  64. S.Luggo

    [re=491496]Cicada[/re]: I thought about including those in my list. But I believe that Rethugs consider those terrorist deeds as acts of First Amendment freedom of religious expression.

  65. Cicada

    [re=491531]S.Luggo[/re]: More importantly, they weren’t committed by MUSLINS. Oh, and they only targeted fake Americans. Our deaths don’t count.

    Wow. I’m amazed at how bitter I still am. But there you have it.

  66. S.Luggo

    [re=491457]S.Luggo[/re]:
    I left out:
    The July 28, 2006 shooting when Naveed Afzal Haq shot six women, one fatally, at the Seattle Jewish Federation building.

    However, Bush was in Crawford at the time. Therefore, this cannot be consisered to have happened during his watch.

  67. Mapmonger

    [re=491343]WarAndG[/re]: No no. Not delusional. DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISINGENUOUS. Giuliani has maggots and worms crawling in and out of his integrity.

  68. 102415

    Gee, I sure want to just start drunk dialing ABC again.The Ten Commandments need to be carved onto these people’s faces. Especially fuckaholic lyin stealin Rudy 9/11. But George S. WTF, I want an explanation from you and I want it all over the fucking world media and I want you fired. I can only hope that every caller that gets through to the Sunday blab-fests asks what the hell is going on over and over and over.

  69. marioninnyc

    Rudy is just in denial about the last 9 years generally. If there was no 911 then all those dead fireman with non-working radios won’t keep haunting him, and his friend Bernie won’t really be a jailbird, and he didn’t talk about New Yorker’s being too Jewy uh I mean “cosmopolitan” at the Repugnant Nat’l Convention — thus assuring he will never be gov or senator from NY State.

  70. Mad Brahms

    This is a great political tactic, denying the only thing that ever made anyone care about you ever happened. Next, McCain will go public with evidence that Vietnam doesn’t exist.

  71. smitallica

    This is not an accident. This is the new GOP talking point. He said it. Perino said it. And Mary Matalin said it. When Perino said it we laughed it off because she’s clearly stupid and vaguely fuckable. But Mary Matalin is ostensibly intelligent and palpably evil and supremely un-fuckable. So that perked up my ears. And Rudy seals it. This is their strategy. Just lie and count on the mouth-breathers to forget what they actually lived through and believe what you say (coincidentally, the GOP’s 2004 election strategy and also the basis of most religions).

    In short, this country is fucked.

  72. snideinplainsight

    Can I just say, do they know how stupid it makes them look when they say this? Profoundly stupid – either drooling imbecilic stupid or stupid to prostitute your own credibility so thoroughly on such a dubious errand? ‘Craven’ is the word that pops into my head when I watch this clip.

  73. JMP

    [re=491432]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: StephanUrkelous corrected it in a blog post; and said “Giuliani isn’t quite correct in his assessment.” That’s quite the understatement, when Rudy was flat-out lying about a subject he claims to be an expert on.

    [re=491549]102415[/re]: Little Georgie’s not on the Sundays anymore; he’s been promoted to Good Morning America. Of course, he let Republicans get away with everything just as blatantly in both positions.

  74. rottenart

    [re=491363]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: “And no, no one is going to remember 911 because 911 marked the shifting of epochs. The world before and after were not the same and so the event itself does not count.”

    I wrote a paper on this a couple of semesters ago. Jean Baudrillard, bless his cynical soul, was completely right. The whole thing shattered the last wall between illusion and reality. It was the largest non-event in modern times and we see the proof in this humdinger of an interview. In fact, at this point, to the vast majority of Amurka, the images of planes flying into buildings is on par with the season premiere of Lost and the two-cook showdown on Hell’s Kitchen: more visual chatter that blends into one long, never-ending stream of incomprehensible signs and signifiers, of which there is no solution, save throwing all of our TVs out the window, starting a victory garden, and raising chickens and goats for food and milk.

    I’ll take some of that brick because my snark just died a little.

  75. finallyhappy

    I usually refuse to listen to these things- but I did. So 9/11 didn’t happen? And the DC/MD/VA sniper(please don’t call it them the DC snipers- the first murder was 3 blocks from my son’s school in Maryland)- that was terrorism- I know we were terrorized here in Montgomery County. Will all of those mouthbreathing true patriots(meaning not us democrats or educated people or minorities) beleive that bs??

  76. 102415

    [re=491569]JMP[/re]: Actually I was thinking that everytime anybody picks up the phone to call anybody at all they should first ask “WTF did the ABC News just let Rudy 9/11 say about the terror attacks and why?” and then say “Hi,how are you?” like some crazy ass phonetree.
    Georgie, the blog thing is not enough, way not enough.

  77. leaveskoalrebelalone

    9/11 would never have happened if clinton had been impeached, therefore it s not bush s. the end.

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