John McCain, remember this guy? He was the frightening old monster who spent last fall occasionally peeping out from behind Sarah Palin’s skirts as she spent $150,000 on Nieman Marcus red patent leather hot pants for her six-year-old and warned America about terrorist pals. John McCain wanted to be president because he crashed his plane a bunch of times back in the sixties, but he did not get elected, so now he has to settle for staying a senator from Arizona forever.
And why should he be a senator? BECAUSE FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN, THAT’S WHY. He’s up for re-election in 2010 and has unveiled a brilliant new radio ad. Here’s the transcript:
Voice: We know what he endured.
Turned down the chance to go home early.
It was against the prisoner’s code.
John McCain has spent his life representing Arizona.
Fighting for the little guy.
Standing up to titans.
Afraid of no man.
Saying “yes” to jobs and small business, “no” to big government.
John McCain is leading the fight against President Obama every day.
Standing tall and outspoken.
Helping Arizona families.
McCain: My lot in life has been to wage war against wrong.
Like today’s massive spending at the worst possible time.
Send me back to the Senate. We’ll win that fight for Arizona.
Voice: John McCain is Arizona’s last line of defense.
Character. Matters.
McCain: I’m John McCain and I approve this message. Paid for by Friends for John McCain.
This shit works?
McCain up with campaign ads [First Read]
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Did you know that John McCain was a POW?
Is Sarah Palin running for vice senator on the same ticket?
John McCain can also perform some fine, fine cunnilingus (if that’s the sort of thing you need from your elected officials).
“Today’s massive spending at the worst possible time” – Uh, no; learn some basic economics. A recession is the best possible time for massive spending; in fact, for one this big, it’s pretty much necessary to end the thing. That’s how FDR ended the Depression, remember.
Spent his life representing Arizona? Including for those five and a half years? As a member of the Arizona Navy? Did the Vietnamese even know where Arizona is?
I’m surprised they’re not bragging up his track record for choosing highly qualified people for his staff.
Voice: Introduced Governor Palin to America.
(Patriotic music swells and a picture of a sobbing eagle appears)
I sure hope he finds Mr. Puddles.
Vote John McCain: at least he doesn’t pile on makeup like a trollup, you cunts.
”
Massive spending: HENGHHH?
End a war: HENGHHH?
No preconditions: HENGHHH?
Raising taxes: HENGHHH?
Pork: HENGHHH?
I’m john mccain an’ I approve this message.”
“John McCain has spent his life representing Arizona.” Right there is reason number 1 to vote for the other guy.
I’d forgotten about the “16th century hell-beast of yore.” Good times!
Sen. Mccain says “Like today’s massive spending at the worst possible time.”
Nate Silver Says “One thing I learned in econ class in 11th grade was that government policy should be counter-cyclical (spending more in recessions and cutting back in boom times)”
I say we shoot Nate Silver down in a plane.
Sadly, yes it does.
Captain Subtext would like to contribute here:
Voice: We know what he endured.
Subtext: Because he was stupid and broke the attack aviator’s code which is don’t fly over the target low and slow.
Turned down the chance to go home early.
Subtext: okay, he has a point.
It was against the prisoner’s code.
Subtext: okay, maybe he has a point
John McCain has spent his life representing Arizona.
Subtext: If you forget his previous marriage when he lived in Florida (because he has.)
Fighting for the little guy.
Subtext: We’re taking Little John’s thirst for lobbyists who look like Cindy
Standing up to titans.
Subtext: Till they give me donations
Afraid of no man.
Subtext: Except Charles Keating
Saying “yes” to jobs and small business, “no” to big government.
Subtext: lobbyist jobs and big gubbiment that doesn’t benefit his buddies
John McCain is leading the fight against President Obama every day.
Subtext: See McCain 08 at how effective he was at that…
Standing tall and outspoken.
Subtext:
Helping Arizona families.
Subtext: As long as they’re rich white and connected
McCain: My lot in life has been to wage war against wrong.
Subtext: Except when flying, S&Ls or picking VPs
Like today’s massive spending at the worst possible time.
Subtext: Worked for FDR, kept GOP in the wilderness for 30 years
Send me back to the Senate. We’ll win that fight for Arizona.
Subtext: I don’t want to spend anytime with Cindy or my daughter Whatshername! I BEG OF YOU!
Voice: John McCain is Arizona’s last line of defense.
Subtext: Get OFF MY LAWN!!!
Character. Matters.
Subtext: If you’re not Janmccain.
McCain: I’m John McCain and I approve this message. Paid for by Friends for John McCain.
We know what he endured.
Turned down the chance to go home early.
It was against the prisoner’s code.
John McCain has spent his life representing Arizona.
Way to redefine the whining about how Harry Reid wouldn’t let you go home early for the holidays because you were all filibustering.
This is good news for John McCain. Well, somebody had to say it.
If the Tea Baggers actually defeat Grandpa Simpson, they ain’t all bad.
[re=491290]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
Standing tall and outspoken.
Subtext: Not as tall as some, in fact, getting hunch-ier every year, but still spouting off nonsense.
“In the 2008 campaign, John McCain chose a moron as his vice president. It ruined his chances of being elected. Tarnished the Republican brand. And created an endless source of comedy for many many Americans. And for that , Arizona and American People owe McCain and our Troops our Gratitude.”
Yes, Sara, this shit works and has for a long time. Remember the “Big Bad John” Cornyn ad? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tt05KC3Add8
[re=491274]Gun-toting Progressive[/re]: I think I heard that somewhere, but he’s too much of a stoic stud to mention it much.
“Standing up to titans.”
Do savings and loans count as titans?
they forgot his smokin’ hot wife.
McLame would be 74-80 years old for his next Senate Term. The stiff armed goiter monster is falling apart as is! I don’t think he’ll last another 6 YEARS ALAN!
I am actually pretty annoyed at Obama for picking Napolitano for Homeland Security, since she actually had a very good chance of finally sending the crazy old man back home for good. Now, who do the Democrats have to run against him? (See also: Sebelius.)
[re=491285]gurukalehuru[/re]: um hello, remember when they sunk the USS Arizona? That counts.
hi. random: anyone remember a women’s clothing site that advertised on wonkette in december? also, remember that youngster from heroes going ‘nobody effs with john mccain!’? that was awesome.
What, no King Rat?
Just for the record: Did any Democrat running for congress during the Bush years ever claim that they were “fighting President Bush every day”?
[re=491298]Terry[/re]: Now, you’re forgetting how old John McCain is; besides Vietnam, he also fought in the War of the Titanomachy ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titanomachy ), and stood up to the actual Titans alongside the Olympians and other early humans.
John McCain: You failed at flying planes AND keeping secrets, much of your major legislation has been destroyed by your own party, and your very greatest failure–one in which you actually tried to make a book-banning, exorcism-giving defective baby factory the SECOND IN COMMAND, the power of which she seemed hell-bent on using to settle high school scores because she is an idiot–exposed America’s raw, racist, illiterate id for the world to see. But this failure was actually not epic enough! You have decided that the best way to rehabilitate your image is to act like you’re taking advice from teabaggers (in between, of course, their calling the president a nigger and buying triple-cheeZe XtrEEM Doritos with their SSI benefits). May this latest war effort fail like every other one you have undertaken.
(good lord, I didn’t think I could get so pissed at a sad old man and a lady who treats politics like a reality show)
You have two options:
Vote Yes to John McCain and America
or
Go to hell you American hating punk!
“Leading the fight against Obama?” So I gather he’s repudiating one of his rare moments of classiness, his concession speech at the end of the ’08 election.
Oh, have a heart, guys! He needs to be re-elected so he can keep remembering his first name, which is ‘Senator’.
You wouldn’t think it possible to turn FIVE AND A HALF YEARS of harrowing service as a POW into something tawdry, but John McCain’s done it. That is a titanic (heh-heh) achievement.
“John McCain has spent his life representing Arizona”
John McCain has spent his life with both front trotters in the public trough and doesn’t plan to move anytime soon.
HOW DARE YOU MOCK TRIG PALIN?
[re=491301]BruceLee5000[/re]: Yes, but 1st lady Lindsey Graham will only be 55-61.
[re=491278]JMP[/re]: Oh, pooh…what do you know? RONNIE RAYGUN ended the Depression, changed water into wine, wrote the Constitution, killed Hitler with a single round-house kick, and invented the Freedom Tray. Didn’t you pay attention in history class?
Why is Burt Mustin imitating Gene Simmons?
This shit works? Guess so. Liberals have allowed it to, since only dirty fucking hippie bloggers have an unkind thing to say about McCain and his lifetime history of promoting falsehoods, to say nothing of his white hot antagonism towards women.
“Standing tall…” because there’s nothing that John McCain and a stack of phone books can’t accomplish.
[re=491337]donner_froh[/re]:
His trotters are in his wife’s pocket book, too.
[re=491358]Mr Blifil[/re]: “to say nothing of his white hot” wife and his filthy daughter with the magnificent melons
FTFY
There are many pictures on the internet, but this one of McCain is the only one that makes me laugh EVERY time I see it (or even think about it).
Turning off the snark for a minute, can anybody born before 1982 tell me if there has ever been another time in American history when U.S. Senators and Representatives ran on the platform of “defeating the President,” exactly one year into his term? Or is this a melanin thing again?
[re=491377]DeLand DeLakes[/re]: 1994. So it’s probably also a party thing.
Throw in a line about his daughter’s thingies and he wins in a landslide.
Sorry John, but the only foreigners that the base of the Arizona GOP getting fired up about are from Mexico, not Vietnam. Back to drawing board.
At least he is not repeating his earlier nonsense about his “secret plan” to end the Iraq War.
[re=491274]Gun-toting Progressive[/re]: no but i thought he was a POS though
John McCain: He’s old enough, he’s bitter enough, and gosh darn it FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN!
Support Meghan’s “career” – Vote WALNUTS!
Voice:John McCain.
Not too bright.
Doesn’t know much about the economy.
Has a thing for blondes.
Born rich, married richer.
Flexible morals.
Sermonizes like a sanctimonious prick.
Vain as hell.
Never gave a damn about anyone but John McCain.
McCain ’010… or whatever.
[re=491394]glamourdammerung[/re]: He’s saving it for when he becomes President in 2013
[re=491303]Crank Tango[/re]: Muslims sunk the Arizona??? Wow. Thank you, John McCain, for being there to try and stop them.
And on behalf of all Arizonans, I am sorry. I hate this windbag.
Cayate, cabrón!
“Helping Arizona Families”
Unless you are of the Di’neh persuasion
http://acsa.net/cain2004.org/home.html#background
Fuck John McCain.
http://www.fox11az.com/news/local/80955662.html
Tucson airport to host training of [Terrorist] foreign pilots
January 8, 2010
******
PHOENIX (AP) — Sen. John McCain says [Muslim Terrorist] Singapore has decided to train its F-16 pilots at Tucson International Airport.
The senator said on Thursday that the training of the foreign [Islamic Jihadi Muslim] pilots strengthens the Arizona Air National Guard’s reputation as the premier location for training international [terrorism’s] fighter pilots.
McCain says the move will bring $60 million into Tucson’s [Muslim] economy and notes that he strongly supported the decision to train the foreign [Muslim] pilots in Tucson [to bomb our freedoms].
[re=491301]BruceLee5000[/re]: I don’t think he’ll last another 6 YEARS ALAN!
Voice over: John McCain. Wants to die with his boots on. Send him back to the Senate.
So he “refused to go home early.” More anti-Palin sniping.
[re=491438]Aurelio[/re]: No. Send him boots.
[re=491278]JMP[/re]: And Judge Posner and almost the entire Chicago Milton Friedman school is now onboard with that. Keynes rules!
[re=491421]foulmouthed mrscreant[/re]: Heywood
would
be
worse
than
Walnuts
[re=491430]S.Luggo[/re]: And the training’s gonna be real cheap because none of ‘em want to learn how to land.
“Character. Matters.” would be clever if “Matters” alone meant something in this context. Which it doesn’t. Unless they mean John McCain has “Character” and does stuff that “Matters.”
[re=491298]Terry[/re]: The Tennessee Titans. And he only did that when they were shitting the bed in September. Big deal.
Needs more ox and rat.
It’s hard to argue that you’re going to “Stand Tall” against the President when two years before you “stood tall” against him and got your ass handed over to you.
Sad.
[re=491278]JMP[/re]: Dick jokes, plz.
[re=491387]JMP[/re]: Rethugs have issues with anyone in power who can lay pipe. See? How hard was that?
[re=491377]DeLand DeLakes[/re]: There was some of this back in FDR’s early days — the rich bitching about socialism and Repubs going on about ‘that man’ wanting to destory America. But, back then, the poors and the middle class understand that the rich did not have their best interests at heart and so they kept reelecting the class traitor socialist to the Presidency.
Also, I recall hearing that Reagan pronounced Medicare the “end of the freedom” in America back in the 60′s, but most olds decided that some government-paid health care was better than no health care at all.
I want to hear more about this tea party primary McCain’s supposedly getting?
[re=491430]S.Luggo[/re]: Actually, I think we’d want to train the largely ethnic Chinese Singaporen pilots so they can drop bombs on largely Muslin Malaysia for us. But, that’s just me.
[re=491430]S.Luggo[/re]: of course he’d back them being in Tucson where all the Dems are! THE MUSLINZ WILL KILL US ALL!!!!1!!
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