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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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64 comments

  1. Prommie

    Fucking Salon linked to that months ago, in a review of a book about animal sex, stupid old shit, that is.

  2. Mr Blifil

    I thought this was a Johan Goldberg thread, before I realized the walrus in question actually had the talent to succeed.

  3. V572625694

    All you people complaining about HuffPo not being any good anymore, or ever, should just STFU now.

    Next week, Arianna’s bringing us kiddie porn shots from TSA back-scatter scans at the airport!

  4. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=490774]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I am the Walrus.

    (BTW- I’m glad someone here finally got it right; I can’t believe how many commenters are always saying ‘koo koo ka choo’ or somesuch nonsense. It’s one of my irrational pet peeves.)

  5. Wonderman

    You dirty minded sicksacks. Walruses whistle to amuse themselves. And spell it right next time. That’s “aurally”.

  6. SmutBoffin

    [re=490770]user-of-owls[/re], [re=490771]PsycGirl[/re], [re=490773]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re], [re=490776]Mr Blifil[/re], [re=490785]rottenart[/re]: : All these are funny!

  7. Radiotherapy

    Good time to be at work, I guess, because I can’t watch video….but is it like 6 inches at 17 degrees?

  8. Wugou

    I love how they tweet or twat or whatever this kind of thing but always purge my posts from their comments section. Well moderated indeed! (All I did was suggest that republcans were all gay for Sean Hannity. That’s totally true, right?)

  9. JMP

    At first, I thought it said “Wavus pleases herself”, and had to do with Joe “You Lie!” Wilson’s expert hiker intern “friend”.

  10. Katydid

    I can’t believe I’m the first to say this here, but evidently this walrus lives at the Nantucket Aquarium.

    Or maybe it’s just too obvious and therefore pedestrian at Wonkett, where everything is funny.

    And nice slam at Carlson by Wiegel.

  11. FMA

    [re=490824]Katydid[/re]: OK. This reminds me of a joke. A penguin’s car breaks down and he takes it to the garage. The mechanic says it’ll be a few minutes before he can figure out what’s wrong so the penguin goes to the Dairy Queen across the street. When he returns, the mechanic says, Looks like you blew a seal. And the penguin says, No, it’s just the ice cream.

    I didn’t say it was a good joke. I was just trying to help a brother out. Katydid, you can thank me later…

  12. Snarkalicious

    Is this supposed to be one of those Master Chili-Whip’s Student, Student Attains Enlightment sort of things? Because it ain’t workin for anyone but that walrus.

  13. Mustang

    Wait. I thought I was going to see a walrus, but this is just another video of Joe Lieberman enjoying the spotlight during the health care bill debates.

  14. Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    Oh, what will that Wilford Brimley do next for attention. Isn’t being the star of THE DIABEEETUS commercials enough for one walrus-man?

  15. Gopherit

    [re=490864]stew[/re]: If Carrie Prejean could suck his own penis, he would have been more popular with Perez Hilton.

  16. Godless Liberal

    I watched a walrus at Sea World Orlando do this very thing one time. He’s just hanging out in the tank, doing walrus things, when out of nowhere comes this righteous walrus cock. One of the park employees is standing there and she was all “Oh, he’s about to be naughty” and then he was living the dream.

    It probably says a lot about me that I actually stood there and watched to see if he would take his fellatio to its logical conclusion (he didn’t), but I don’t care. I watched a walrus blow himself and I am not ashamed.

  17. Gopherit

    [re=490888]Godless Liberal[/re]: How do you know? Don’t tell me you’re experienced with walrus money shots.

  18. ExecutorElassus

    [re=490769]Prommie[/re]: I think you mean Slate? I totally [re=366325]called that shit[/re], also.

    The point is, HuffPo is passe with their somewhat-bouyant yiff-vids.

    WHERES MAH BUCKET, etc.

  19. Godless Liberal

    [re=490890]Gopherit[/re]: Having witnessed a dolphin orgy that very day, I considered myself something of an expert on underwater mammalian ejaculations.

    Also, I am experienced with walrus money shots.

  20. snideinplainsight

    Probably more popular than the GOP.com website by a long shot. Too bad they can’t afford to just hire a walrus now -

  21. ManchuCandidate

    [re=490888]Godless Liberal[/re]:
    The biggest laugh I ever got at the zoo was thanks to the orangutans at the “wuld famus” SD Zoo.

    I was admiring the orange apes preen in front of the glass when this grey beard comes up behind this one female and just starts pounding her “orangutan” style right in front of a gaggle of old ladies and families. No big deal, but except I heard the olds and parents either deny they were watching monkey porn or pretend it didn’t happen. I ran out of the orangutan area laughing with tears down my eyes.

  22. lawrenceofthedesert

    While we’re on the subject, why is it that television will show any old kind of animal mating, but never one defecating? Especially given the gore routinely displayed on “CSI” and the like.

  23. mardam422

    [re=490871]UnattendedConsequence[/re]: Ann Coulter: “Unless the bomb is inserted under the foreskin….”

    I don’t know about you, but if I had a penis big enough to hide enough plastic explosives under my foreskin to blow a hole in fucking jetliner, the LAST thing I’d blow a hole in is a fucking jetliner.

  24. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    Okay, I am at work, so I can’t watch, but I have to know, is there a money shot or not? Come on, someone spill…

  25. Senhor Tambor

    >>this walrus lives at the Nantucket Aquarium.<<

    So, there once was a walrus from Nantucket…
    Who could actually reach down and…
    Won’t leave the house
    Or look for a spouse
    No happier place had he stucket.

  26. Pop Socket

    Am I really the first with the “because he can” remark? Because if so, I am seriously disappointed in all of you.

  27. Radiotherapy

    [re=490906]Gopherit[/re]: Tx, good imagery, now I don’t have to watch the video when I get home.
    Reminds me of seeing two giraffes at the San Diego Zoo getting it on, it’s like measuring a toothache with a protractor — sorry, I need to go home.

  28. Balls!

    [re=490824]Katydid[/re]:
    There once was a walrus from Nantucket
    who’s dick was so long he could suck it
    he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
    if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it

  29. Jukesgrrl

    [re=490888]Godless Liberal[/re]: I watched some straight-dolphin sex once at Sea World Orlando and I thought it looked better than what I was getting.

  30. Accordion-o-rama

    Where exactly on WoW does one find the Odobenus onanist? I can’t find him in any of my usual realms.

  31. Crankenstank

    Speaking on behalf of the Walrus-American community, these simple acts of normal hygiene are being grossly misrepresented by you short-shafted, jealous-humans. For shame. Now do some sit-ups and get yourself more flexible.

Comments are closed.