The RNC has no money you guys! JOIN THE CLUB, right? Like with the recession and how no one has any money? Ha ha ha. But the RNC’s paltry cash-on-hand problem isn’t very similar in nature to the Average American’s paltry cash-on-hand problem, which is rooted in the “I have no job to give me the aforementioned cash-on-hand” quagmire. It’s because Michael Steele et al. went shopping for a few cheap off-year election winners but ended up buying the two most expensive gubernatorial victories in the store!
Oh but for the halcyon days of Soft Money!
A 2009 spending spree has left the Republican National Committee (RNC) with its worst election-year cash flow this decade.
The largest GOP party committee has $8.7 million in the bank heading into an election year with 37 governors’ races, a dozen major Senate contests, dozens more in the House and an all-important redistricting cycle on the horizon.
[...]
The RNC had $22.8 million in cash and no debt when Michael Steele was elected chairman at the end of January, but has since seen its cash on hand drop to less than $9 million at the end of November.
Over the previous five months, while governors’ battles were being waged in New Jersey and Virginia, the committee saw its cash reserves drop by a full $15 million. Through November, the committee spent more than $90 million last year, which is nearly $20 million more than the Democratic National Committee (DNC).
[...]
The Democratic National Committee (DNC) lost both races, but saw its cash on hand climb to a debt-free $13 million. That’s not a whole lot better than the RNC, but the DNC began the year in much worse fiscal shape, with $5.6 million in cash and $5 million in debt.
Well, at least citizens of New Jersey and Virginia can finally sleep peacefully at night, knowing that Republicans are back in charge and protecting them from Terror, property taxes, and “urbans.” A $15 million drop in reserves? Pish posh! Cost is of no concern when you have the opportunity to elect a fat guy and a robot.
[The Hill]
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I can’t wait to hear Michael Steele’s hilarious “street” take on this.
Over/under on “Brother ain’t got no cheddar”?
More proof the only party Americans hate more than the Democrats are the Republicans. Democrats should just change their motto to “Lesser of 2 Evils” and be done with it.
Can we drown the RNC in a bathtub yet?
A lot of us librul types believe this is because of the renewed corporatist vigor displayed by the current party in power. The RNC traditionally is funded by big corps and Wall Street in particular, but now the Democrats play the role of big business’ sugar daddy, so they get the cash.
Snark snark, also.
They blew it all on that great web site. Suckers!
In Steele’s defense, the RNC’s core constituency is currently buying gold and making donations to Tea Party organizations. Not much left to donate to the Republicans.
That’s because the majority of the contributors to the RNC (i.e. olds) spent all their money on vigorous (though unsatisfying) Teabaggings. The contributors who aren’t old spent all their money on guns and meth and domain hosting for their blogs about guns and meth and whom to point the guns at. The Republicans in college are all drunk and lonely and don’t have any money anyway.
No one has any cash left to give Mike, whom they don’t understand nor much like the looks of (cf. the gun blogs).
That should be “Suckas!!”
Bet it all on Central Michigan in the GMAC Bowl.
It’s a sure thing.
GAHAHAHAHAH, they spent all that money to, in part, beat Creigh Deeds?
Hold on…
BWAHAHAHAHAHA…
A blind coked up hooker with halitosis and congenital herpes could have beat Deeds. I mean, come on! Michael STEELE could have beat Deeds! Yeesh.
A couple mill was spent on hair spray for Bob McDonnell. I don’t think it’s moved in years.
Complete fiscal irresponsibility! Mike, m’ man, street price for teabagging: $5 bottom, $7 top. YMMV, but not that much.
Think of it as an investment — with Repug victory in 2010, the first thing they’ll do is cut taxes.
[re=490181]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Cristal for the house baby!!!
Ideas for RNC cash flow:
(1) bake sale
(2) Michelle Bachmann hardcore fetish porn site
Chris Christie apologizes …. actually, he says “SWRRHY” with his mouth full of saturated fat and Cheetos orange dust covering his fat face.
Maybe he can add to the coffers by being the “celebrity” speaker at strip mall openings; or of course a children’s birthday party clown.
Dunking Booth works for me.
[re=490201]nbawriter[/re]: If Christie were more savvy, he would have immediately changed his campaign slogan to “Too Big to Fail” after the Corzine ad.
Now this makes the fact that I fill out those stupid RNC surveys (in a way that surely makes Michael sad) & return them using their postage permit (instead of ‘saving the RNC money & using my own stamp!’) so very sweeeeeeeet & funny!
Those surveys have to be the biggest waste of money in history–even if you’re a hardcore Republican, no one fills that shit out & donates via the mail.
There’s a joke in there about the leadership of the Republican Party, led by somebody mainly chosen to present an appealing visual image to voters, spending way too much cash and putting the thing he’s running into the poor house but I can’t think of what that would be…..
[re=490207]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Which reminds me, I do wonder if all the RNC junk mail that I taped to bricks and marked “return to sender” had anything with this current turn of events.
Hmmm. Being fiscally irresponsible to sell your Fiscal Responsibility platform. That’s FreeDumb I can believe in.
[re=490208]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I was JUST thinking the same thing! Think they’ll impeach Michael “Avatar of” Steele?
[re=490208]Hooray For Anything[/re]: It would be something like:
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Michael Steele.
Shit.
Ghetto Sprite Steele has a history of funds disappearing, doesn’t he?
Well, the money was well spent on painkillers and Taiwanese girl-boy prostitutes I assume…
How long before Fox News begins whining that the only patriotic thing to do is bail out the RNC?
No Repub wants to give money to an organization run by a Black man…’cause, you know how they are.
That $9 mil could buy a brother a phat set of rims for his Beamer 5-series, yo.
[re=490225]BlueStateLibtard[/re]:
Nah. Fox News will say that the RNC raised $675B from about two billion disgruntled Merikin voters that want to defeat Obama’s socialist agenda.
So the GOP picked the dumbest black guy they could find so they could say “told ya!” and go back to its Fat White Guys Only policy (with the odd peroxide blonde chick thrown in).
All that head wax ain’t gonna pay for itself.
I guess they’ll be putting 2010 on the Visa card then.
Too many photos muggin with the interns.
[re=490232]Servo[/re]: Fox will say the RNC received donations from 183% of Republicans, and 120% of independents.
[re=490225]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Either that or we need a capital gains tax
It’s nice to see the RNC act in the fiscally “responsible” manner it’s always been. They really need “tax” cuts aka small donations because we all know that cutting the size of the donations will really spur on the RNC.
…REAGANOMICS strike again!!!
…another black man with bad credit?!
It cost a lot of money to let every balding, Viagra-laced, crakitty-assed-craka GOP dipshit “make it rain”.
Steele and the GOPers need to pull that end of the world crybaby shit that scored mega-bucks for Prick Warren and his anti-fag fake church.
Can’t they just sell a few guns?
Pretty sure it all went for hookers and blow.
[re=490262]wallythepug[/re]: At least they didn’t waste all of it, then.
You can’t tell me there weren’t undercover Dems in on the meetings that gave him this job.
Donate 100 grand and win a chance to go Quail hunting with Dick Cheney.
That’ll be a money maker fer sure.
When Katie Couric asks him about it directly, he’ll pull out his wallet, remove a bill and proudly proclaim, “Dolla’s still here! Dolla’s still here.” Then he’ll weep.
I just had an epiphany, which isn’t really an epiphany, but more like a truth that I was keeping from myself the way victims of really terrible tragedies will block out entire memories. Yeah, Michael Steele is an idiot who is trying to claim fiscal responsibility at the same time he dries up the RNC coffers. Sarah Palin can barely spell, John McCain is a demagoguing attention whore, and the list goes on and on. The modern Republican party is marked with proud ignorance, sexual deviance, hypocrisy, and actual outright evil. So… WHY THE FUCK DO THEY KEEP GETTING ELECTED? I see that dancing Michael Steele up there and I think to myself, what kind of labotomized self-hating asshole actively gets in their car, drives to the local church/school/whatever, and casts their vote for these jackasses?
Gah, I need a bottle of Jack and blowjob. Won’t help my world view any, but they’ll feel nice.
And to build off my last comment, come to find out, Sarah Palin will headline the first ever Tea Party convention. How nice, maybe Michael Steele will show up and the combined lack of intellect will form a stupidity black hole, like, a retardation singularity or some junk where all of the combined intelligence of the room (the majority of which would actually be found in inanimate objects in this case), would be sucked down into an infinitely small point from which even Rush Limbaughs voice couldn’t escape.
Now, for that bottle.
We have discovered the entire Republican Party is a gang of dangerous drunks who are only now admitting to a terrible, almost insatiable desire for hard drink. We can only hope it isn’t too late.
Michael Steele to his new tailor: “Oversize everything. I wanna look like a turtle or a Armadillo. “
[re=490273]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]:
If we only had an operative to record their conversations…..
Steele: Everybody knows you never go full retard.
Palin: What do you mean?
Steele: Check it out. Mitt Romney, former governor of Massachusetts. Looks retarded, acts retarded. He put his dog on the roof of his car, drove through several states, but he never quit being a governor. Not retarded…
[re=490285]El Pinche[/re]: Just the image of Steele trying to explain to Palin how to not be stupid is enough to have me laughing up a nut. It’s like the blind leading the clinically brain dead.
[re=490268]rocktonsammy[/re]: So will the winner be playing the part of the quail?
[re=490300]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Yes it would be a comedy 7.2 carat whore diamond
The RNC should do a Biggest Loser show with folks like Mike Huckabee as contestants. Steele could change his first name to Bunza and fill the trainer role. It would be very popular with the rank and file (GOPers aren’t much for the file, but they’re really rank) — the Red States tend to lead the nation in obese people. If it goes into syndication, they should profit nicely. More important, this will give them something constructive to do, which they haven’t had in years.
Question: If Micheal Steele and Sarah Palin “went hiking together in the mountains,” would that cause enough heads to explode that the Republican Party would be history?
And what would take its place? Nothing. The rump Teabag Party forms comic but annoying armed riot squads, get rounded up in short order and sent to “prison,” the new euphemism for Death Camp.
Wall Street pops the champagne, toasting the perpetual rule of the Democratic Party.
Microphone master RNC
brother’s still here in a wack economy
droppin fifteen millies gotta raise a lotta brows
Honest Injun I’m your niggar in da houze
I just raise my hands in the air
and spend the benjies like I just don’t care
the Grand Ol’ Party used to have a lot of dough
but can’t nobody lay a finger on my flow
I’mma school ya cuz ya have a lot to learn
my tailored suits take a page from David Byrne
I’m a cultivated man among the townies
when I write the checks my hos say “Heckuva job there Brownie”
I’m in your face on the telly everywhere
my book is mackin’ as befits my savoir faire
2010 we don’t even have a prayer
when I spit my bombs, they don’t need no underwear
Who’s down with GOP yeah you know me
Who’s down with GOP yeah you know me
Who’s down with GOP yeah you know me
(Repeat)
If you ain’t got no money, then Steele,Michael Steele.
[re=490261]Mr Blifil[/re]: Can’t they just sell a few guns?
To whom; each other? Between them and Al Quaeda, that’s 99% of the market.
The professional criminals and the military already have enough hardware, they’re not even thinking of buying these days. Nobody left buying but Republicans and Terrists.
[re=490285]El Pinche[/re]: “If we only had an operative to record their conversations…”
NBC is reportedly seeking shows to replace Leno’s daily bomb. No script, no actors necessary. Just hide a camera in Steele’s office and let ‘er roll.
Give Michael Steele a break. You don’t get enough gay hookers and blow for an entire political party for nothing.
In our Greenspan inspired neo-con economy, cash is trash. It’s still asset-leveraged borrowing that counts. At this stage, the RNC’s biggest asset is the state of Utah. Go for it, Mikey. [I trust that I have been obscure.]
Yet, in terms of the RNC’s supposed need for cash, there is always the rife blackmarket for Food Stamps.
Looks like maybe McCain should’ve checked Palin’s designer handbag for “public appearance fees” before she went back to Juneau last year, eh?
Sweetest part of all is, it’s going to really suck epic ass for them to raise any money for midterm elections in THE FUCKING RECESSION THEY HELPED TO MAKE HAPPEN. What goes around comes around – & chews you a new one.
The GOP 2.0 : For An Extra $20, We’ll Even Swallow!
Indentured servitude? Ah, well, been done, I guess.
To be fair, the RNC’s financial problems just go to prove the RNC’s other point, which is that black people are poor because they’re incapable of managing money.
[re=490311]Mr Blifil[/re]: I’mma school ya cuz ya have a lot to learn
my tailored suits take a page from David Byrne
I’m a cultivated man among the townies
when I write the checks my hos say “Heckuva job there Brownie”
This! This is what’s called “bringing the funny”. Take note, kids.
No money, Mo problems
Scrillapalooza 2010 in da hizouse…word, MC Steele!
[re=490311]Mr Blifil[/re]: Total, sheer, utter brilliance. I doff my cap to you, sir.
I’d relate more with Steele if instead of wearing a suit he dressed like us young people do. He sees us at our malt shops and Italian coffee stores. Surely he could stop by Nordstroms and get some of our garb?
In terms of price per pound, Christie was a great bargain.
And that’s my fat-ophobic comment for the day. Nobody inspire me to make anymore, or else I’m a bad person!
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