THIS FRIGGIN' GUY  7:14 pm January 5, 2010

Joe Wilson Hiking Appalachian-ish Trail With Intern Babe

by Jim Newell

Ooh, an outdoor adventure for shouty South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson. If anyone deserves it, it is him. Maybe he is taking a few days to “write something,” like his state’s governor did when he went hiking. Who is this “Maryanna Lynch” though, like his wife or some such? Maybe she had a career? And didn’t change her last name? Hmm?

No it’s just an ex-intern college student, with whom he is hiking… hiking alone?… in the forests…

So hopefully this will be a sex scandal. Or at least a red herring to conceal the real Joe Wilson sex scandal, some sort of Thailand/boys-type deal.

[Joe Wilson's Twitter]

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desertwind January 5, 2010 at 7:18 pm

“I have been living… for a congressman” just about says it all.

Marlowe January 5, 2010 at 7:18 pm

For a brief second, I read that she was living with a congressman.
My bad.

Suds McKenzie January 5, 2010 at 7:20 pm


memzilla January 5, 2010 at 7:22 pm

So “Panthertown” is the menopausal male equivalent of “Cougartown?”

Sharkey January 5, 2010 at 7:23 pm

Only 6 inches? She will be disappointed.

pampl January 5, 2010 at 7:24 pm

I’m with Joe on this one. Nothing quite like ringing in the new year with a 6 inch line of snow and a nubile co-ed

Neilist January 5, 2010 at 7:25 pm

“Panthertown National Forest”?

Oh, cum on, CongressMAN. You mean “COUGARTOWN U.S.A.,” don’t you?

(Assuming, of course, that Mr. Wilson is one of those increasingly rare, and endangered, heterosexual male members of the G.O.P. . . .

. . . take It AWAY, Michael “Toe-Tapping Like Bo Jangles Robinson” STEELE!

(Gesh. The glare of that White Crested Ass Vulture in the upper left hand corner is making me nervous.)

chascates January 5, 2010 at 7:27 pm

Joe is married to Roxanne Dusenbury McCrory, who continues to offer him strength and support in his every endeavor. They are the parents of four sons, all of whom serve in the U.S. military, and the proud grandparents of two boys and one girl… Their fours sons are all Eagle Scouts.

Lascauxcaveman January 5, 2010 at 7:29 pm

I like outdoorsy types. Just one of my harmless hetero kinks, the outdoor sex.

Mahousu January 5, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Whoa, whoa, hold it – “Wavus Camp for Girls“??? Has Joe Wilson decided his gender is a lie, too?

V572625694 January 5, 2010 at 7:34 pm

[re=489536]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: What about the squirrels and chipmunks? Aren’t you ashamed of what you display to them, with your woodsy intercourse? Won’t someone please think about the chipmunks?

MBritt January 5, 2010 at 7:34 pm


Gerry Reene January 5, 2010 at 7:35 pm

He’s out exploring Maryanna Lynch’s Mariana Trench.

BlueStateLibtard January 5, 2010 at 7:38 pm

Another Republican bites the dust…this one’s going to be fun too.

loquaciousmusic January 5, 2010 at 7:40 pm

[re=489532]Sharkey[/re]: Good wo/man. I was going to come up with something about “6 inches” and “average,” but you got there first.

Country Club Jihadi January 5, 2010 at 7:41 pm

6 Inches? You lie!

loquaciousmusic January 5, 2010 at 7:42 pm

[re=489538]Mahousu[/re]: “Wavus” is the girls’ side of Kieve, the boys’ camp in Maine. (I know this because I teach at a private school in Connecticut, where every car has either a “Wavus” or a “Kieve” sticker alongside the “Choate” or “Deerfield” sticker on the back of their Lexus SUV.)

Crank Tango January 5, 2010 at 7:44 pm

I’m not even gonna look any further and say I’d hit it. and he is.

Crank Tango January 5, 2010 at 7:46 pm

[re=489545]loquaciousmusic[/re]: LOL I used to work in the “password” queue for AOL and when someone would ask me how many characters to make their password, I was fond of saying “six is about average.”

Hunger Tallest Palin January 5, 2010 at 7:47 pm

There Might Be Diapers.

Fox News Light January 5, 2010 at 7:50 pm

This hits so close to me that I have a friend in common with her on Facebook. So please leave my fellow clempson grad alone.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO January 5, 2010 at 7:51 pm

[re=489550]Crank Tango[/re]: See, I see her and think, “I’d hit it,” meaning he’s probably trying to get in with her little brother or something.

donner_froh January 5, 2010 at 8:03 pm

Six inches, 17 degrees. Is that one of the “angle of the dangle, heat of the meat” things?

Katydid January 5, 2010 at 8:06 pm

[re=489555]Fox News Light[/re]: My ex covered Clempson when we lived in SC. Jesus Fucking Christ, that stadium. And the Orange Pants. Goddamm, they are serious about college football down south.

When we lived there in the 90s, the local stations constantly ran commercials intoning James Earle Jones-like Fall means fooball in the A-C-C.

I was the noon producer for WSPA in Spartanburg. Ugh.

iburl January 5, 2010 at 8:07 pm

Joe, you’re not having it off with this chick? THAT’S A STINKIN’ LIE!!

ForTheTurnstiles January 5, 2010 at 8:09 pm


Southern vowels are worse than Southern politicians

bitchincamaro January 5, 2010 at 8:09 pm

I’d see a conservative blue dress and a pearl necklace in Mrs. Joe Wilson’s future in front of a hastily arranged press conference if I didn’t know that Mr. Joe Wilson is skilled in the art of double-jointed autocock-suckery. He won’t be laying a hand on his hiking partner.

Radiotherapy January 5, 2010 at 8:12 pm

Ohhh yeahhhh, she’s an expert hiker. You know who else was an expert hiker?
Chandra Levy was an expert runner — hey how did that work out?
This fool is as dumb as Gilbert Arenas admitting to a felony yesterday.
6 inches, 17 degrees, indeed.

bitchincamaro January 5, 2010 at 8:17 pm

[re=489532]Sharkey[/re]: Reminds me of the old joke about why women don’t make good carpenters. *pinching thumb and forefinger together* -because all their lives, men have been telling them that this is what 6 inches looks like.

A real nail-bender that one, eh?

ForTheTurnstiles January 5, 2010 at 8:18 pm

[re=489565]bitchincamaro[/re]: Suckin your own dick isn’t really a scandal. It’s just a party trick. I’d rather he were shagging the lieutenant governor, that clever and sharply dressed Andre fellow who obviously isn’t very gay AT ALL.

Servo January 5, 2010 at 8:18 pm

It was a walk in the snow, not a SpecOps exercise, ya glory-grabbin’ shit-for-brains.

Radiotherapy January 5, 2010 at 8:19 pm

[re=489566]Radiotherapy[/re]: dammit, html error — it’s hard to twitter in the cold and snow — it’s even tougher with a hard-on!

JMP January 5, 2010 at 8:21 pm

Her third summer at the Wavus? Huh? Wait…

And here’s another truth for you all
The Wavus was Paul

So, it means she’s been fucking Dr. Congressman Ron Paul for the past three years.

assistant/atlas January 5, 2010 at 8:29 pm

They’re definitely having sex….from a description of the Panthertown region:

“Greenland Creek and Panthertown Creek are the area’s main waterways, which join to form the Tuckaseegee river, which flows out of the area through gorges with colorful names such as “Devil’s Elbow” and “Bonas Defeat”. The area (generally south of Flatrock Mountain and north of Hogback Mountain) is actually a smattering of finger-like valleys with nearly level bottoms, flanked on all sides by steep slopes and granite domes, in contrast with the typical “V” shaped valleys elsewhere in region.”

Tuckaseegee, Devil’s Elbow, Bonas Defeat, Hogback Mountain….and yet the Appalachian Trail end up being the euphemism for sexytimes? Stupid Mark Sanford ruins everything.

AnSnarkist January 5, 2010 at 8:30 pm

[re=489573]JMP[/re]: Koo koo ka-choo?

Also, it wouldn’t surprise me about Dr. Paul. I heard that he birthed 9,000 babies. He must have a lot of lovers.

Fox News Light January 5, 2010 at 8:32 pm

[re=489562]Katydid[/re]: where u there during the Julie Phillips era? Or were u lucky enough to work with drunken don dudley? By remembering those people’s name do I win a trivia prize?

Sadly I am happy to know I have a connection to a good wonkette commenter…also Tony Dale.

wallythepug January 5, 2010 at 8:34 pm

When she fakes her orgasm, will he yell “you lie!”

Servo January 5, 2010 at 8:36 pm

Expert, huh? The world’s mountains and forests are littered with corpses of experts.

Crankenstank January 5, 2010 at 8:36 pm

Maybe “Hiking the Appalachian Trail” is to “Hiking Panthertown national forest with an expert” is as “Having Consensual Sex with My Mistress” is to “Paying a Prostitute to watch me crap in a diaper”.

twoeightnine January 5, 2010 at 8:36 pm
El Pinche January 5, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Which one is he again? I’m getting all of my sunburnt republican douchebags mixed up.

Sleeves January 5, 2010 at 8:47 pm

Can anyone believe that Detector Wilson was once a Staff Judge Advocate? Col. Joe Wilson?! Did he get much business in that role, I wonder…

Paul Tardy January 5, 2010 at 8:48 pm

His Twitter user name is Congo Joe Wilson?

malo-ji January 5, 2010 at 8:48 pm

“… despite 6 inches snow, 17 degrees!”

Methinks he misplaced the comma …

“… despite 6 inches, snow, 17 degrees!”

JMP January 5, 2010 at 8:51 pm

[re=489577]AnSnarkist[/re]: It’s a secret code, I’m telling you. Ron Paul is dead, and has been replaced by Joe Wilson in disguise! YOU LIE about your identity!

El Pinche January 5, 2010 at 8:52 pm

John Ensign is already cleaning up the old semen stains in the Rumpus room at the C Street sex house for Joe’s arrival.

rocktonsammy January 5, 2010 at 8:54 pm

There are laws against white trash in a national park.

Hutch January 5, 2010 at 8:56 pm

[re=489583]Crankenstank[/re]: Ooh, win!

Way Cool Larry January 5, 2010 at 9:11 pm

[re=489531]memzilla[/re]: my thought too!

Jim89048 January 5, 2010 at 9:19 pm

She’s nice and all, but a quick perusal of the page reveals that Wavus is chock-full o’ camper babes, including Mary Anna’s own sister, Lucy. Yum!

Radiotherapy January 5, 2010 at 9:27 pm

[re=489604]Jim89048[/re]: Maybe Yums, but these people are Nutz!

Sleeves January 5, 2010 at 9:45 pm

[re=489596]El Pinche[/re]: If Ensign resigns, then Jim Gibbons can fill a vacancy with himself. (I see this quite possibly, actually happening.)

Diana Davies January 5, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Hey, I call my ‘gina “Panthertown Forest”, too!

Barrelhse January 5, 2010 at 10:11 pm

[re=489594]JMP[/re]: I played Sgt Pepper backwards and, sure enough, it said “Ron Paul is dead. Coo-coo ka-choo.”

Barrelhse January 5, 2010 at 10:12 pm

[re=489565]bitchincamaro[/re]: Blue dress? lol

Barrelhse January 5, 2010 at 10:13 pm

[re=489610]Diana Davies[/re]: ROFLMAO

druhliu January 5, 2010 at 10:34 pm

Air jordan(1-24)shoes $33

Nike shox(R4,NZ,OZ,TL1,TL2,TL3) $35
Handbags(Coach lv fendi d&g) $35
Tshirts (Polo ,ed hardy,lacoste) $16

Jean(True Religion,ed hardy,coogi) $30
Sunglasses(Oakey,coach,gucci,Armaini) $16
New era cap $15

Bikini (Ed hardy,polo) $25




druhliu January 5, 2010 at 10:36 pm

fr ee sh i pp ing

(jordan shoes) $32

(air max) $34



Holding Out for a Hero January 5, 2010 at 11:14 pm

You go Joe!

CanadianBacon January 5, 2010 at 11:33 pm

I bet the hiking would be much better if he had Air jordan(1-24)shoes $33. I wonder if the expert hiker brought along a Bikini (Ed hardy,polo) $25 to wear in the tent at night. Snow can be blinding so I hope they have a couple pair of Sunglasses(Oakey,coach,gucci,Armaini) $16 and a New era cap $15. 6 inches of snow is no problem when the expert hiker is wearing Nike shox(R4,NZ,OZ,TL1,TL2,TL3) $35. Joe probably looks forward to the end of the day when the Tshirts (Polo ,ed hardy,lacoste) $16 and the Jean(True Religion,ed hardy,coogi) $30 come off. Of course no expert hiker would venture out without her Handbags(Coach lv fendi d&g) $35. I imagine he is getting some FREE sHIPPING .

NYNYNY January 5, 2010 at 11:39 pm

Thanks Duhliu-

pathertown national forest, in the beautful cookiemonster valley. I spent a vacation flyfishing there in the crotchrocket river.

Decker January 5, 2010 at 11:45 pm

[re=489547]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: win.

Bearbloke January 6, 2010 at 12:06 am

Maybe Shouty Joe is hiking up to Connecticut to run for Sen. Dodd’s seat, since Dodd will be announcing his retirement tomorrow….

shortsshortsshorts January 6, 2010 at 12:49 am

Joe Wilson is a living steakhouse.

El Pinche January 6, 2010 at 1:50 am

[re=489609]Sleeves[/re]: I’m sure they have an embroidered pillow waiting for him ..along with a Bible and some Holy butt beads.

glamourdammerung January 6, 2010 at 2:27 am

Extra points if he gives her the “Joe Scarbourgh” treatment.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 6, 2010 at 2:42 am

“Hiking through Panthertown”

“with expert”

“despite 6 inches”

Dear God, he is not even trying to cover up.

Still, he should pick up a Regent’s Grad, they are into the kinky stuff.

Escape Goat Nation January 6, 2010 at 2:57 am

I’d have to see her tits before I could make an informed opinion on this issue.

ExecutorElassus January 6, 2010 at 5:41 am

“National” forests are communist. Why does Congressman Joe hate freedom so much?

NJB January 6, 2010 at 7:01 am

Does the Panthertown National Forest run through Argentina?

x111e7thst January 6, 2010 at 7:16 am

[re=489548]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Kent?

mumblyjoe January 6, 2010 at 8:11 am

I seriously hope there’s a sex scandal. Because then, he’ll be obliged to hold a press conference of shame, and hopefully somebody who attends said press conference will shout “You Lie!” at some opportune moment during said press conference.

And then I will give that person a dollar.

MMS January 6, 2010 at 8:12 am

[re=489527]desertwind[/re]: Ah yes, the beauty of dangling modifiers.

glamourdammerung January 6, 2010 at 8:26 am

[re=489661]mumblyjoe[/re]: I do not think it matters if there is a scandal or not. Going off into the woods with a teenage intern is going to cause rumors no matter what. It also shows the same really poor judgement Wilson seems to be going out of his way to be known for.

converse January 6, 2010 at 8:33 am

Wavus Camp for Girls = Wilderness Escort Service

Seriously, look at the “counselors” on their website–HOT!!!

binarian January 6, 2010 at 9:04 am

[re=489660]x111e7thst[/re]: or Pomfret

slithytoves January 6, 2010 at 9:10 am

What the fuck is a “expert” hiker? That’s like being an expert walker, which most people achieve before they can tie their own shoes.

Pompous Magnus January 6, 2010 at 9:17 am

“Maryanna” looks like a dude. Buttsecks with a firm grip on the hiking stick!

Egregious January 6, 2010 at 9:33 am

Simmer down…granted, it’s from the Washington Examiner but…

No lie: Rep. Joe Wilson really hiking
By: Nikki Schwab and Tara Palmeri
Washington Examiner
01/05/10 9:00 PM EST
Those politicians from South Carolina sure do enjoy their “hikes,” but unlike disgraced Gov. Mark Sanford, Rep. Joe Wilson, R-S.C., doesn’t lie.

Over the weekend, Wilson posted to Twitter: “Great way to begin new year hiking through Panthertown national forest with expert hiker Maryanna Lynch despite 6 inches snow, 17 degrees!”

And according to his press secretary, that’s just what he did.

The lawmaker has a mountain home in Sapphire, N.C., and the Lynches are his neighbors and good friends. Lynch is a former intern with the congressman; however, several members of his family joined him on the trip.

S.Luggo January 6, 2010 at 9:44 am

[re=489617]druhliu[/re]: Do they aell penis hats? Joe likes to one-stop.

S.Luggo January 6, 2010 at 9:47 am

[re=489711]Egregious[/re]: ” … several members of his family joined him on the trip.”
His Spanish translator.
His Asian masseuse Kiki.
His gerbil.

glamourdammerung January 6, 2010 at 9:53 am

[re=489711]Egregious[/re]: Those politicians from South Carolina sure do enjoy their “hikes,” but unlike disgraced Gov. Mark Sanford, Rep. Joe Wilson, R-S.C., doesn’t lie.

Since the first sentence of the article is easy to verify as incorrect, I am not sure this really clears him of anything.

Mr Blifil January 6, 2010 at 10:22 am

[re=489686]slithytoves[/re]: Code for “gives sloppy ones.”

Mr Blifil January 6, 2010 at 10:25 am

[re=489711]Egregious[/re]: And according to his press secretary, that’s just what he did.

Well that settles it for me. Joe Wilson’s paid press secretary: I can think of no more reliable guardian of truth, justice, and secret gang rapes in the woods.

McDuff January 6, 2010 at 10:31 am

17 degress? There had to be some ‘shared bodily warmth’ going on in that sleeping bag.

Gopherit January 6, 2010 at 10:39 am

[re=489531]memzilla[/re]: Yeah, “Hiking through Panthertown” is now my Euphemism of the Day.

Capitol Hillbilly January 6, 2010 at 11:06 am


K.C. January 6, 2010 at 12:36 pm

The Birthers of a Nation: or, The Addison (“Joe”) Graves Wilson Story

Here’s to that Southern fried fool
Who’s Big Pharma’s favorite tool!
He rather suck cock,
Or serve in Iraq,
Than drink ‘Bama’s Aid of the Kool.

freeradical January 6, 2010 at 1:03 pm

[re=489555]Fox News Light[/re]: I am a ClemPson grad, too! I was there in the mid-80s, and lived close to the football stadium. I would park cars on my (rented) group house lawn on game days for cash, beer, or weed. Good times.

gurukalehuru January 6, 2010 at 1:54 pm

Is Wonkette not posting anything on Wednesdays now? Or are you observing Russian Christmas?

gurukalehuru January 6, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Whoops. I’m an ass.

MOG January 6, 2010 at 2:23 pm

And so cabin fever sets in.

Swessdawg January 6, 2010 at 4:43 pm

Holy crap! That camp is a thirty-something male’s dream.

glamourdammerung January 6, 2010 at 6:35 pm

[re=489756]Mr Blifil[/re]: As I recall, Sanford’s press secretary vouched for his location as well.

agentbuzz January 6, 2010 at 8:39 pm

Disgusting 62-year-old perv. Old bastard following in Strom Thurmond’s footsteps, fucking the help. Punking a kid 40 years his junior.

southernmapart January 8, 2010 at 9:38 pm

CongoJoe didn’t lie, he bragged!

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