Well we’re a democracy, folks, and it’s pretty (if not quite scientifically) clear what the people — erudite Fox News website readers, all of them — want. They want to watch some fuckin’ conference comittee negotiatrix dealy-do humdingers on the C-SPAN, whatever channel that is. (Is that what Spike TV becomes after 2 a.m.?) And they want to watch all of them, all of the bill talkie-talks, that is. Give Fox News fans their C-SPAN access, and they’ll watch those clerks tediously edit adverbs in incomprehensible legislative language for at least 14 full seconds before throwing each other’s feces against the wall and ripping out their hair in search of gold. [Fox News]
CALLING YR BLUFF
January 5, 2010
Come On, Democrats, Fox News Fans Really Want To Watch C-SPAN All Day
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{ 52 comments }
At least they are honest…95% of them really don’t have anything better to do.
This is NOT a scientific poll. Which means that Roger Ailes controls the top bar on the graph with the vibrating butt-plug he had surgically implanted. Also Fox News poll fail, the aggregate numbers are way too close to 100% for my comfort.
In other news, 88% of all FOX viewers are ingrained to choose the first option in any FOX poll.
My gods, I am shocked. The poll results actually add up to 100%! Way to go, Fox, for finally employing someone who knows teh maths!
Wait. I thought fox-watchers only got one channel?
How can they put that up on Fox News? The sum of all the percentages adds up to 100!! Where are the other 83%? Someone’s going to get fired for this, I’m sure.
I call bullshit. FOX viewers couldn’t find C-SPAN on the cable lineup if it were sandwiched between CMT and TruTV. Besides that, the ones that did find it would recoil after discovering that C-SPAN is like the Hallmark Channel for policy wonks.
A Fox poll that adds up to 100%. This is news
One could show these asswipes (99.7% of Faux news viewers are asswipes according to a recent poll) whatever is on C-SPAN and tell them it was the health care conference committee negotiations. They would never know the difference.conference committee negociations. They would never know the difference.
If the Democrats are worried about this, then maybe they should schedule it up against the World Bassfishing Competition or the 700 Club Live at Cracker Barrel to keep FOX viewers from watching CSPAN that night.
This is the same C-Span that regularly broadcasts interviews with Michele BVachmann, Joe Barton, and Michael Steele so I’m not surprised.
Throw in an X-rated channel for free and see how many watch what.
This poll is pretty accurate, as there’s no real difference between watching the negotiations yourself and forming your own opinion and watching Glenn Beck ask Jonah Goldberg if (after airing Chuck Schumer say two words, say, “health idea”) this plan is like Hitler creating a cancer holocaust tied to unconstitutional terrorism plus gay marriage.
Proof that 88% of Fox viewers are big fibbers. No one, outside of healthcare lobbyists, will watch “as much as possible” of those negotiations.
[re=489358]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: And I call bullshit. C-Span has never had 28,000 viewers at any one time.
Thar’s GOLD in them thar heads!
Yes but, 167 out of 166 FOX viewers eat lead paint chips, enjoy prolonged staring at the sun and think that Ramen Noodles are a vegetable.
This is not a scientific comment.
Fox News viewers love tedious negotiation of legislative minutiae. Honest injun on that.
This poll is bullshit. Choice #5 was “No I’m handling snakes that day, OBVS”, but you couldn’t click on it.
Anybody tell them C-Span dudnt show Wifeswap?
some of us have jobs. we don’t have time to be watchin no stinkin democracy in action. all we have time for is to nip in and out of poliblogs, making quick, quasi-witty, ill-informed and excessively-hyphenated-and-sometimes-off-point-comments.
i smell a rat. i think he’s gotten into the tin of peruvian cocoa powder. i shall take aim with my trembling webley…
Isn’t there some white woman missing somewhere?
The number one character trait of conservatives, despite whatever David Brooks burps up ever fortnight or so, seems to be an amazing ability to massively overestimate their other abilities (including, but not limited to, marital fidelity, access to the mind of God, war-winning, fiscal management, and their own intelligence).
What if Dick Cheney offered the attendee list and meeting notes from his gathering of energy companies as a trade? Ask the Fox people to run a poll on that swap.
What they REALLY want to watch is the House debating whether or not to name a Federally funded bridge after former-and-soon-to-be-again Representative Jim Trafficant.
To be fair, we are talking about the people who have made NASCAR what it is today. They obviously have a high tedium threshold and gobs of free time on their hands.
[re=489384]doxastic[/re]: Tanks. You must have channeled the wavelength I emitted after reading a post in our local paper’s forum, wherein the poster decried the lack of “quality” candidates in the last presidential election, then revealed he’d voted for Ron Paul.
By the sheerest coincidence, 88% of Fox News viewers couldn’t tell you how many times “Jesus” or “capitalism” are mentioned in the Constitution, couldn’t name the first Justice of the Supreme Court, don’t know when “In God We Trust” officially became a national motto, and think that rivers that run south-to-north are possessed by the Devil. So they’ll get a lot out of watching these negotiations firsthand.
Wow, a poll where 95% of the respondents are obviously lying.
Is that a new record?
“Yes. I will try to watch as many as possible.” [sic]
FOX viewers evidently have more stamina than I do. I doubt I’ll make it through more than four or five negotiations.
[re=489357]snideinplainsight[/re]: [re=489360]Clancy_Pants[/re]: Sorry for beating you guys to it.
Tomorrow’s Fox poll will be, “If Fox News told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?” 83% yes, 6% maybe, 5% not sure.
This poll is bs. It’s not a real fox news poll. It’s missing the 83% of respondents who support sarah palin.
Rupert Murdoch will not be amused if you change the channel to C-SPAM.
[re=489370]Terry[/re]: Note that the first choice says, “I will try to watch”, not “I will watch”. The path to FoxNews is paved with good intentions.
I’m just surprised the total percentage is not over 150%.
[re=489381]slappypaddy[/re]: Ah yes, I remember those nights in my rattan-festooned pension in Goonrat.
Note that it says “I will TRY to watch as many as possible.” Just as I try and fail to watch most other things on the TV that require an attention span longer than 20 seconds and that don’t have bleached blond hair and breasts.
[re=489397]JMP[/re]: Nice catch on choices, “Not sure” and “Undecided”. Why didn’t they include choices for “Can I back to you on that?” or “Reply hazy, try again.”
Keep yer goddam gummint hands offa my flat panel!!111!
All this week leading up to this poll, the Fox News talking heads have been saying, “Watching the health care negotiations on C-Span is like watching two NASCAR races being run simultantiously with cars going in opposite directions.”
Which, come to think of it, is the only way you would get me to watch NASCAR.
[re=489416]Come here a minute[/re]: Win! for the magic 8-ball reference.
[re=489412]V572625694[/re]: back in the days when we didn’t know any knots, nor any good gags. i shall slip mine back on perforce and warm up the spad for another round of oil beer deliveries to the electrician. or somebody like him.
O/T, apologies if someone already reported this:
Glenn Greenwald linked to Intern Juli’s piece about Politico’s
Cheney dick-sucking“editor” being mysteriously appointed to the board that awards the Pulitizersto fellow hack Republican “journalists”.And snide, if you’re here, one of the commenters particularly liked your comment In many ways, rodent pinworms are on the same mission as POLITICO
Be prepared for the possibility of incoming wingnuts.
Right wingbats sure put a lot of stock in polls, particularly the ones they can clear their cookies over and over for, and vote hundreds of times — such as, like comicbookguy said, the ‘bots who support Sarah Palin.
That being said, who’s going to believe that 24/7 watchers of Faux “News” are going to deprive themselves of their daily Faux Fix in order to watch C-Span?
This is one instance where the puerile BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA is entirely appropriate.
Perhaps the problem is that most Fox News viewers assume CSPAN stands for the Congressional Sex, Porn and Nudity network?
“This is not a scientific poll”
AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Do they know there are no C-SPAN Babes?
UGH, the real crime here are polls of the “YOU DECIDE” vein, where you DON’T actually decide, AT ALL.
Second only to the “IS THIS KNOWN FACT TRUE OR NOT!?”
IS EVOLUTION A THING?
•YES, duh
•NO, it’s a proven scientific fact but I choose not to believe it because… angels!
•NOT SURE, It’s a fact that I don’t want to believe, but I have half a brain and clicking “NO” is just too stupid.
Or the similar “ANSWER THIS QUESTION THAT CAN’T BE ANSWERED” poll or “ANSWER THE QUESTION THAT YOU DON’T KNOW THE ANSWER TO” poll.
IS OJ GUILTY?
•YES,
•NO,
•I WASN’T THERE, DUH.
ARE GHOSTS REAL!?
•SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Should Fox just change it’s name to C-SPAN for the day and wait for the ratings bonanza?
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Why is Fox going against their rational self interest and publishing this poll? THEY’LL LOSE RATINGS IF CONGRESS LISTENS!
That said, as a policy wonketeer myself, I’d probably watch it for a while with some chips, dips, and friends, if I had wonk friends. As I’m lonesome in my love of politics, I’ll probably just eat a tub of Hagen Daaz alone, drink a shot every time someone says “addendum” and cry.
[re=489397]JMP[/re]: 6% “is there beer and a barbecue at the bottom of the cliff?”
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