OBAMA IS A FAILURE  11:54 am January 5, 2010

Let C-SPAN Be C-SPAN, You Power Junkies!

by Jim Newell

Everyone likes to complain about how Barack Obama KEEPS BREAKING HIS BIGGEST CAMPAIGN PROMISE EVER to put every boring goddamn health care hearing or meeting or business lunch on C-SPAN — none of which they would ever watch, of course, but at least they would be There.

“They” — whoever lets C-SPAN cover things — probably should put the final intra-chamber conference merger dongle on teevee, though. At least to give bloggers a wacky clip or two to pass around (“WATCH: SCHTINKY SCHUMER WET-FARTS WHILE ARGUING FOR MORE PILOT PROGRAM FUNDING, DESTROYS SLACKS”).

For now, though, the only public footage of this Historic conference is this important image Fox News dug up of Barack Obama fucking Hillary Clinton two years ago.

[Fox News, The Hill]


Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


ManchuCandidate January 5, 2010 at 11:56 am

Fist fucking you mean.



Rosie Scenario January 5, 2010 at 11:58 am

Is Barry twisting Hillary’s arm behind her back? That ain’t right.

Humpback January 5, 2010 at 11:59 am

I’ll only watch if it is in prime-time. I’m sure it would win the night!

Monsieur Grumpe January 5, 2010 at 12:02 pm

They should just record the sound and act it out with hand puppets. I’d watch that.

Sussemilch January 5, 2010 at 12:04 pm

[re=489144]Rosie Scenario[/re]: Handcuffs. Bill lost the key.

El Pinche January 5, 2010 at 12:05 pm

Barry is about to fapfapfap that fat ass.

Paul Tardy January 5, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Didn’t they try that trick at the Constitutional Convention. If the founding persons flipped them the bird, why not the 111th congress.

qwerty42 January 5, 2010 at 12:07 pm

so, Jim, would you or hapless Intern Riley have to live-blog the …the final intra-chamber conference merger dongle on teevee?

SayItWithWookies January 5, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Angela Merkel is sooooo jealous right now.

Cape Clod January 5, 2010 at 12:10 pm

[re=489150]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: No, Star Wars Lego characters would be far more entertaining.

Way Cool Larry January 5, 2010 at 12:11 pm

[re=489152]El Pinche[/re]: I thought fap fap fap was with the hand?

Anyway, it looks like he’s doing her with a chair…

JMP January 5, 2010 at 12:12 pm

Yeah, how dare Congress block the broadcast of this historic committee meeting. I for one have ban insomnia, and need C-Span to cure it now that baseball season is over.

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 5, 2010 at 12:13 pm

I figured Fox would dig up this pic to illustrate the epic wedgie Barry was giving Hilz for allowing terrists to blow up their penises over US airspace.

slappypaddy January 5, 2010 at 12:14 pm

free tranquilizers for all viewers. all you have to do is watch. the first and most important step in bringing healthcare reform to the messes.

user-of-owls January 5, 2010 at 12:17 pm

The actual C-Span text:

“C‑SPAN has sent a letter to House and Senate leaders asking that negotiations on the health care bill be open to cameras.”

As interpreted by:

FOX: implored Congress
Drudge: dare to Congress

Can’t wait til Redstate or Freep gets to it:

Redstate: stormed Congress with torches and pitchforks demanding
Freep: C-Span has followed through on its threat to execute one member of the Democratic hostages every hour until its demands are met

Jim Newell January 5, 2010 at 12:19 pm

[re=489155]qwerty42[/re]: Intern Riley ghostwrites all of my liveblogs anyway.

Scaggsvillain January 5, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Everyone likes to complain about how Barack Obama KEEPS BREAKING HIS BIGGEST CAMPAIGN PROMISE EVER to put every boring goddamn health care hearing or meeting or business lunch on C-SPAN — none of which they would ever watch, of course, but at least they would be There.

The complaint is legit, you elitist twat…lame snark nothwithstanding!

bitchincamaro January 5, 2010 at 12:40 pm

I argued with my darling wife last night that it’s Barry that runs the foreign policy show, not Hillz. I won, but if darling wife sees this pic, we’re going to have to have the argument all over again.

I’ve often wondered why ESPN never adopted the shortcut, “E-SPAN”. I still wonder.

TGY January 5, 2010 at 12:48 pm

For fuck sake, just televise and tape it so we know who to blame when it all goes inevitably wrong.

Escape Goat Nation January 5, 2010 at 12:51 pm

“Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?” is on tonight.
Nope, can’t watch it.

V572625694 January 5, 2010 at 12:55 pm

[re=489182]bitchincamaro[/re]: That Barry calls the shots is a good thing, whatever you think of him or Hillz. We need more loyal functionaries in the cabinet, and fewer lookit-me divas like Condo or evil war dwarf Kissinger. And Hillary’s doing the job, probably much to everyone’s surprise.

arewethereyet January 5, 2010 at 12:56 pm

[re=489176]Scaggsvillain[/re]: Hi there!! …and you are? (Lost?)

Hooray For Anything January 5, 2010 at 12:59 pm

[re=489187]TGY[/re]: Spoiler Alert– It’s Joe Lieberman

Aflac Shrugged January 5, 2010 at 1:01 pm

You don’t need a camera. Just a thoughtfully placed hot mic.

I’d dub the captured audio over footage of a conveyor belt feeding mounds of bovine lips and assholes into a grinder, as it pushes the pulverized nastiness into sausage casings. In America, you can’t be too rich, too thin or too overt with your metaphors.

WadISay January 5, 2010 at 1:16 pm


Lamb urged Congress in his letter to fling open the doors in the final stretch of the negotiations.

Sounds like Michele Bachmann.

Suds McKenzie January 5, 2010 at 1:18 pm

You cant Stop C-SPAN, you can only hope to Contain it.

Manos: Hands of Fate January 5, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Obama should one-up them and demand the entire hearings are televised on all major networks during the playoffs. That should shut ‘em up.

Scaggsvillain January 5, 2010 at 1:50 pm


Hey! I’m Scaggsvillain, as you can plainly see! Lost? Nay, knob licker! I gave up on that show after the first season. It hurt my little brain.

chaste everywhere January 5, 2010 at 1:58 pm

The anti-revolution will not be televised.

Which is only as it should be, with that agenda: ” … top Democrats lay plans to hash out the final product among themselves.” Even the best-planned hash-outings tend to be well worth missing. And given the gag-inducing qualities of the final product and its producers, do we really have to subject ourselves to another tour of the sausage factory?

hedgehog January 5, 2010 at 2:10 pm

That photo is completely wrong. Hillary would be the one with the cock.

hunter.blatherer January 5, 2010 at 7:41 pm

I think Schumer is wet-farting in this pic:
But only a little. Here’s how he looks when it trickles down to his socks:

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: