obama is a failure

Let C-SPAN Be C-SPAN, You Power Junkies!

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Everyone likes to complain about how Barack Obama KEEPS BREAKING HIS BIGGEST CAMPAIGN PROMISE EVER to put every boring goddamn health care hearing or meeting or business lunch on C-SPAN — none of which they would ever watch, of course, but at least they would be There.

“They” — whoever lets C-SPAN cover things — probably should put the final intra-chamber conference merger dongle on teevee, though. At least to give bloggers a wacky clip or two to pass around (“WATCH: SCHTINKY SCHUMER WET-FARTS WHILE ARGUING FOR MORE PILOT PROGRAM FUNDING, DESTROYS SLACKS”).

For now, though, the only public footage of this Historic conference is this important image Fox News dug up of Barack Obama fucking Hillary Clinton two years ago.

[Fox News, The Hill]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Fist fucking you mean.



  • Rosie Scenario

    Is Barry twisting Hillary’s arm behind her back? That ain’t right.

  • Humpback

    I’ll only watch if it is in prime-time. I’m sure it would win the night!

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    They should just record the sound and act it out with hand puppets. I’d watch that.

  • Sussemilch

    [re=489144]Rosie Scenario[/re]: Handcuffs. Bill lost the key.

  • El Pinche

    Barry is about to fapfapfap that fat ass.

  • Paul Tardy

    Didn’t they try that trick at the Constitutional Convention. If the founding persons flipped them the bird, why not the 111th congress.

  • qwerty42

    so, Jim, would you or hapless Intern Riley have to live-blog the …the final intra-chamber conference merger dongle on teevee?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Angela Merkel is sooooo jealous right now.

  • Cape Clod

    [re=489150]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: No, Star Wars Lego characters would be far more entertaining.

  • Way Cool Larry

    [re=489152]El Pinche[/re]: I thought fap fap fap was with the hand?

    Anyway, it looks like he’s doing her with a chair…

  • JMP

    Yeah, how dare Congress block the broadcast of this historic committee meeting. I for one have ban insomnia, and need C-Span to cure it now that baseball season is over.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    I figured Fox would dig up this pic to illustrate the epic wedgie Barry was giving Hilz for allowing terrists to blow up their penises over US airspace.

  • slappypaddy

    free tranquilizers for all viewers. all you have to do is watch. the first and most important step in bringing healthcare reform to the messes.

  • user-of-owls

    The actual C-Span text:

    “C‑SPAN has sent a letter to House and Senate leaders asking that negotiations on the health care bill be open to cameras.”

    As interpreted by:

    FOX: implored Congress
    Drudge: dare to Congress

    Can’t wait til Redstate or Freep gets to it:

    Redstate: stormed Congress with torches and pitchforks demanding
    Freep: C-Span has followed through on its threat to execute one member of the Democratic hostages every hour until its demands are met

  • Jim Newell

    [re=489155]qwerty42[/re]: Intern Riley ghostwrites all of my liveblogs anyway.

  • Scaggsvillain

    Everyone likes to complain about how Barack Obama KEEPS BREAKING HIS BIGGEST CAMPAIGN PROMISE EVER to put every boring goddamn health care hearing or meeting or business lunch on C-SPAN — none of which they would ever watch, of course, but at least they would be There.

    The complaint is legit, you elitist twat…lame snark nothwithstanding!

  • bitchincamaro

    I argued with my darling wife last night that it’s Barry that runs the foreign policy show, not Hillz. I won, but if darling wife sees this pic, we’re going to have to have the argument all over again.

    I’ve often wondered why ESPN never adopted the shortcut, “E-SPAN”. I still wonder.

  • TGY

    For fuck sake, just televise and tape it so we know who to blame when it all goes inevitably wrong.

  • Escape Goat Nation

    “Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?” is on tonight.
    Nope, can’t watch it.

  • V572625694

    [re=489182]bitchincamaro[/re]: That Barry calls the shots is a good thing, whatever you think of him or Hillz. We need more loyal functionaries in the cabinet, and fewer lookit-me divas like Condo or evil war dwarf Kissinger. And Hillary’s doing the job, probably much to everyone’s surprise.

  • arewethereyet

    [re=489176]Scaggsvillain[/re]: Hi there!! …and you are? (Lost?)

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=489187]TGY[/re]: Spoiler Alert– It’s Joe Lieberman

  • Aflac Shrugged

    You don’t need a camera. Just a thoughtfully placed hot mic.

    I’d dub the captured audio over footage of a conveyor belt feeding mounds of bovine lips and assholes into a grinder, as it pushes the pulverized nastiness into sausage casings. In America, you can’t be too rich, too thin or too overt with your metaphors.

  • WadISay


    Lamb urged Congress in his letter to fling open the doors in the final stretch of the negotiations.

    Sounds like Michele Bachmann.

  • Suds McKenzie

    You cant Stop C-SPAN, you can only hope to Contain it.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    Obama should one-up them and demand the entire hearings are televised on all major networks during the playoffs. That should shut ’em up.

  • Scaggsvillain


    Hey! I’m Scaggsvillain, as you can plainly see! Lost? Nay, knob licker! I gave up on that show after the first season. It hurt my little brain.

  • chaste everywhere

    The anti-revolution will not be televised.

    Which is only as it should be, with that agenda: ” … top Democrats lay plans to hash out the final product among themselves.” Even the best-planned hash-outings tend to be well worth missing. And given the gag-inducing qualities of the final product and its producers, do we really have to subject ourselves to another tour of the sausage factory?

  • hedgehog

    That photo is completely wrong. Hillary would be the one with the cock.

  • hunter.blatherer

    I think Schumer is wet-farting in this pic:
    But only a little. Here’s how he looks when it trickles down to his socks: