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Everyone Is Gearing Up For 2010 Elections!

Gotta construct somethingThe 2010 midterm elections are only a few years or months away, and everyone is so excited to meet the latest batch of monsters preparing to ennoble our next Congress with their presence! Expect nine million posts just like this in the coming months. Who do we meet today? Well, a certain South Carolina county commissioner is considering a run for the House. His name is Paul Thurmond. Paul THURMOND. That’s right. The father was a notorious spawner, and now his tadpoles will all take over the country and restore the Dixiecrats to prominence. [Politico]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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61 comments

  1. Redhead

    Was this particular spawn of satan conceived with his white wife or his black mistress?

    Because frankly, if Strom Thurmond’s illegitimate half-black love child claimed his last name and ran, I would donate half my -$150/week unemployment check to his campaign, just to see the look on all the rednecks’ faces as “Strom Thurmond’s son, yay!” is followed by “… but… but…” ala Chapelle’s Clayton Bigsby…

  2. Snarkalicious

    [re=488811]Redhead[/re]: Make sure to hold enough back for your crack rock and Caddy note, welfare queen.

  3. Redhead

    [re=488822]Snarkalicious[/re]: Oh you’re right. I almost forgot about the crack and the 40s of Cobra and all the other essentials! Silly me.
    I must have been too busy, out protesting the guvment takeover of our health care. They’re making it all socialist, you know – SOCIALIST!!! I don’t need no guvment control of my health care thank you very much. I’m just fine paying $220 every two weeks for CBRA. Then I can spend the remaining $40 a week on crack and cheap beer. Rent’s really low in my refrigerator box under the bridge.

  4. Pizzuti

    I’m surprised that Strom Thurmond’s children aren’t already old and decrepit, the same way Abraham Lincoln’s children will be.

    In other news, is it one of Thurmond’s black children or his white children?

  5. Jim Demintia

    “The father was a notorious spawner, and now his tadpoles will all take over the country and restore the Dixiecrats to prominence.”

    Zounds, the mulattoes have taken over South Carolina!

  6. SayItWithWookies

    Well, from the looks of him, he’s corn-fed, sunburned, awkward in a suit and probably of below-average intelligence — so anyone running against him in Mark Sanford’s old district (oh, yes it is) has their work cut out for them.

  7. user-of-owls

    Typical racist post from Wonkette. No mention at all of the plethora of BLACK ‘legacy’ candidates, like:

    -Lieutanant Cornel West
    -Gennifer ‘Gen’ X
    -Jaa’Mar’Cus’ Garvey, and
    -B.E.T. DuBois.

    That’s not racial transcendentalism!

  8. user-of-owls

    [re=488826]Redhead[/re]: Filthy bourgeoisie with your McMansion-sized refrigerator box will the rest of us huddle in our microwave cartons.

  9. Redhead

    [re=488843]user-of-owls[/re]: I had a really really really good job before the darkie commie nazi socialist preznit took over. That’s why I make all of -$150 a week in unemployment and can afford the big refrigerator box. I was really really healthy before that, too, which is why my CBRA payments are so low. Of course now my liver is failing since all I drink is Cobra beer (cheaper than water!) and my lungs are pretty much shot between the pig flu and the crack smoke. But it’s okay! The ER doc (my regular physician won’t see me anymore) told me he can do a double transplant. It’s only $450,000 – and my deductible will cover all of it except the last $425,000! America has the greatest health system in the world and no damn darkie preznit is gonna put his socialist hands on my health care, damnbit!

  10. assistant/atlas

    [re=488837]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You failed to mention the crazy eyes. Gotta have the crazy eyes these days to be a real Republican contender.

  11. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    @SayItWithWookies: I tried clicking on the comics in that photo, but they did not embiggen. Lame!

  12. x111e7thst

    [re=488843]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=488848]Redhead[/re]: Hah. I have a small shed. It is infested with squirrels. Occasionally I manage to stun a stupid slow one with a rock or chunk of wood, and then I add it to my hobo beans. However if you guys want to come to the scenic Hudson Valley I am willing to share, particularly if someone brings some crack and/or some beer.

  13. donner_froh

    Brilliant of the sculptor to find a source of clay that exactly matched Strom’s striking salmon-hued complexion and hair.

  14. tbogg

    [re=488837]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Why is he campaigning on the set of Jersey Shore? Are there Guidos in SC?

  15. southern mark smith

    [re=488837]SayItWithWookies[/re]: OH! You mean the one in the metrosexual blue tie, not the fat guy with the landing strip on his face.

  16. Servo

    [re=488837]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
    I’m actually amazed that the tie isn’t a clip-on. His momma must’ve tied it for him.

  17. stew

    Michael Steele Update: I was right! White republicans (which is to say republicans) too freaked by black guy cover his book: sales rank is #2,924. Course, it just came out today and it go all the way up to #2,000 by the end of the week.

  18. MzNicky

    [re=488863]x111e7thst[/re]: You have a small, squirrel-infested shed? Luxury! I, a Tennessean, must make do with granny’s outhouse, where I sleep sitting upright on the rotted wooden throne whilst battling feces-laden rats and cockroaches the size of muskrats. And I’m lucky!

  19. Bearbloke

    [re=488887]Servo[/re]: [re=488878]southern mark smith[/re]: You’ll note that the young Thurmond is present for “Mommafest”, a time-honoured Car-O-lina celebration of Dixiecrat inbreeding…

    Good Morning Mizz Wonkett! The pic of old President Thurmond (R – Scum) prompts me to ask –
    Have you started taking names for the 2010 Ghoul-Pool?

  20. Jim89048

    [re=488891]stew[/re]: To be fair, Ron Christie just got off work and hasn’t had the chance to buy his copy(ies) yet.

  21. Up To Here Again

    The subway train was a bit slow this evening in the cold.

    One guy -
    apparently acting up his tea bagger personality,
    actually said this out loud:

    “The trains not working cause you voted all those blacks in”

    And so it begins. . .

  22. shortsshortsshorts

    THE STREETS WILL FLO WITH TEH BLOOD OF THE WITES. MOOLATOES SHALL TAKE MAJORITY ROOL IN DC. CALL YER WHITE CHRISTIAN CONGRESSMAN.

  23. obfuscator

    [re=488899]Bearbloke[/re]: kind of like southern california’s annual “motherboy” pageant?

  24. coolcatdaddy

    [re=488920]Up To Here Again[/re]: That’s funny. I thought the trains stopped running because we couldn’t keep up with the mortgage payments to the Chinese gov’ment.

  25. kudzu

    Why is South Carolina still thinking it’s a state? Who failed to let them know they’re not supposed to have elections or government or anything that resembles a civilized organizational entity? I thought we all agreed that once Hussein took over we were not going to allow the Redneck states to be states anymore. What’s going on here?

  26. Mr Blifil

    Just remember, if you are going to invoke the elder Thurmond, keep reminding yourself it was NOT rape…

  27. free

    Its P. Cadaver posing for a “Weekend at Bernie’s”.
    No , now Clarke, this is some serious shit.
    Throw a bag of ol Roy on here for Snotz.

  28. southern mark smith

    [re=488885]user-of-owls[/re]: That’s awesome. There’s definitely a trickster at work here. Is it possible that Robert Anton Wilson or the Ghost of HST has inhabited this part of The Secession State?

  29. stew

    Having just watched the redstate.com guy on Colbert, I realize what a bunch of pussies we are here on Wonkette. Who here has had the balls to refer to someone as a “goat-fucking child molester” (David Souter in this case) like the pudgy red state guy so forcefully did? Time to kick it up a notch, I say.

  30. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=488957]stew[/re]: David Souter eats dick for sport and drives a cock to work every morning. Does this bring you any fucking joy? Erick Erickson fucks goats on his days off and drives a 1998 Lunatic Newt Gingrich. This should bring him great fortune from his “Bible Belt” fuck orgy. The fuck you want?

  31. stew

    [re=488958]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Well, its a start. Now if you could just work in some bestiality (or whatever you call supreme court justice-goat sex).

  32. bago

    [re=488920]Up To Here Again[/re]: Someone suicided on the red line at Adams Morgan. the subway was fuxxored for the second time that day. (Train died at medical center earlier)

  33. gurukalehuru

    PaulThurmond, Ron Paul, why don’t we just start referring to these as the 2010 Paulections.
    (Politicians Are, Usually, Lunatics?)

  34. S.Luggo

    “There‘s one other big-time name on the rumor mill: The ex-wife of Gov. Mark Sanford, Jenny Sanford.”
    Sure, Jen. Had you ever attempted the art of love south of the border, Mark would never strayed on the Appalachian trail,
    No sympathy.

  35. S.Luggo

    [re=488921]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
    Paul Thurmond, the pater familias of a new generation of servile South Carolina mulattos? On the other paw, there might be more than one Paul Thurmond in the Palmetto state, e,g., Paul Hakim bin Charleston “Death to all Infidels Lacking the Requisite Exploding White Jockey Shorts ” Ali Saddam Thurmond. Worth checking.

  36. S.Luggo

    [re=488977]zhubajie[/re]: Will happen. It’s because they will soon have a more closely matched genotype. It’s the South Carolinian way.

    *******

    U.S. Reopens Embassy in Yemen
    Wall Street Journal December 5
    Yippeedee do dah.
    *****
    GOP Chief [Que?]: Republicans ‘Screwed Up’ After Reagan
    AP
    Jan. 05, 2010 03:14 AM
    Mistakes were made.
    http://www.heraldonline.com/115/story/1842764.html
    ******
    Democrats plan to fast-track final health care bill
    Boston Globe
    [Sodomites wish to destroy our 2nd Amendment freedoms.]
    Jan. 5
    http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2010/01/05/democrats_plan_to_fast_track_final_health_care_bill_to_shut_out_gop_opponents/
    Somehow the phrase “the fuck” got dropped from nesr the end thst limk
    Bostonians, so polite.

  37. Up To Here Again

    The White Moron’s Burden:

    Way back in the real age, like George Wallace, you apologize for all your crimes and start working with the people you hated.

    Now, you just admit you fucked one and fathered another, and move on, with absolutely no apologies for all those you sent to the lynching tree.

  38. El Pinche

    [re=488957]stew[/re]: Actually, that term is used quite extensively in the Muslim hate web sites. Conservatards are not that original.

  39. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=488837]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=488878]southern mark smith[/re]: [re=488854]assistant/atlas[/re]: And yet no one has yet mentioned the prominent gayface that Thurmond fils is sporting. Countdown to unseemly scandal involving the fellating of a Spartanburg police officer or South Carolina state trooper in 3…2…1…

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