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We don't even know what this is supposed to mean.Alabama fraud Parker Griffith, who won his congressional seat as a Democrat but just switched to the GOP because he likes to fuck boys he’s scared of southern teabaggers, got a special karmic present today from his entire staff: They all quit! HA.

From some gloating Democrat press release:

Nearly every staff member of Representative Parker Griffith’s office tendered their resignation this morning in response to his recent decision to change party membership. This included the Chief of Staff, along with the entire legislative and communications team.

Oh, and his entire campaign-consulting team quit just before Christmas. [MSNBC]

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52 COMMENTS

  1. And if Bill O’Reily is an independent, I’m a deep-ocean giant squid. Wait, that doesn’t make any sense either.

    There must be some significance to barn owls among the inbred Alabama populace that I’m just not getting.

  2. I haven’t been to DailyKos in years but if it’s anything like I remember, they’re wanting the DCCC to spend its entire budget electing a Dem to that seat in 2010. Just to show them, you know.

  3. Michele Bachmann is going to be pissed — until this kerfuffle, she was the most odious employer in Congress. And now Griffith doesn’t even have the staff to fend off the shitstorm of crazy that Bachmann’s gonna send his way — most likely something about the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail as the site of future FEMA death camps.

  4. I don’t know why you lined out “he likes to fuck boys,” Ken. I’d be willing to bet Mr. Two Last Names has at least one Cub Scout on retainer, for “yard work” and such.

  5. It’s Alabama- they tender their resignation at the beginning of squirrel season every year, then they come crawling back in April having failed to go professional.

  6. Have any of the operatives scanned the job posting board at Late Night Shots? Perhaps the morning period of the post W era has passed and some of them junior turd blossoms can get cracking and start answering Peter Griffin’s mail.

  7. [re=488626]NYNYNY[/re]: NYNYNY…. No, we resign at the beginning of armadillo season. Git it rite! We don’t eat squirrel. They’re to fast and don’t have enough meat to worry with. Armadillos are fat and plump and come with their own dinnerware. Like we always say, “Armadillo: Nature’s fast food!”

    Parker Griffith, who WAS my representative, is a cunt and will loose in 2010. He isn’t Konservative enough for the KKK, and has betrayed the few libruls that liked him to begin with.

    And because no one likes a douchebag with a last name for a first name. Also.

  8. [re=488595]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: That would actually be the Mississippi metro area. Though we are a distant second. (We could be a close second, but all the lard limits our proximity to one another.)

  9. I just did a health profile for Alabama. Of the 50 states:
    Prevalence of Obesity 49
    Air Pollution 45
    Children in Poverty 47
    Premature Death 48
    Poor Physical Health Days 46
    Infant Mortality 48
    Poor Mental Health Days 47
    Cancer Deaths 44
    Cardiovascular Deaths 49
    Stroke 49
    High Blood Pressure 47
    Heart Attack 49
    Cardiac Heart Disease 45
    Diabetes 48

    Overall 48

  10. I just did a health profile for Alabama. We are a third world state. The fewest whites voted for Obama of any state. Of the 50 states, Alabama ranks:

    Prevalence of Obesity 49
    Air Pollution 45
    Children in Poverty 47
    Premature Death 48
    Poor Physical Health Days 46
    Infant Mortality 48
    Poor Mental Health Days 47
    Cancer Deaths 44
    Cardiovascular Deaths 49
    Stroke 49
    High Blood Pressure 47
    Heart Attack 49
    Cardiac Heart Disease 45
    Diabetes 48

    Overall 48

  11. Most likely his staff was simply trying to save their respective careers. It’s much more difficult for a hill staffer to switch sides of the aisle than it is for a congressman. If they stayed with him they wouldn’t be able to find another job with a Dem OR a Republican later on. I believe the same thing happened when Specter switched.

  12. [re=488595]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: [re=488670]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Oh yeah? Well, Wisconsin’s the fattest COUNTRY in the U.S., so neener neener.

  13. [re=488561]JMP[/re]: Let me break it down for you. Barn owl -> Hooter -> Tits -> Milk Producer -> Dairy Farmer -> Blessed By Jesus -> Leper -> I’ve got my dick in my coat pocket.

    Hope that helps.

  14. [re=488616]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: It’s completely unfair to say that ALL republicans fuck boys. That’s patently untrue. At least some fuck hookers while wearing a diaper, or fuck their female assistants and have their parents bribe said assistant’s husband into keeping quiet. Still others put on a couple of wetsuits and do the autoasphyxiation thing.

    There’s even a contingent of animal lovers. (I shouldn’t forget the bears-raping-little-girls-in-cages part of the last one). Some (Larry Craig) even try to hook up with big boys.

    See? Your statements are patently unfair.

  15. [re=488760]Sparky McGruff[/re]: My mistake. I forgot to factor in the Alabama part of the equation. This means that there’s at least one sheep farm outside of Monroeville that’s pretty damned nervous.

  16. [re=488716]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Not to sound like Dr. Phil, but we Alabamians also have another saying… “Thank GOD for Mississippi!”

    Oh we also say “ROLL TIDE!”

  17. @Alaska Girl: I realize you are unaccustomed to this given the proclivities of your home state.
    Perhaps a nice drug/sex scandal would reassure you.

    Parker getting caught in a meth lab with teenage boys in 4…3….2…

  18. Umm, that would be a DemocratIC press release, pleeze. Unless you call the other side Repubes, in which case you can forget I mentioned it.

  19. Almost makes me want to pull for that snake Saban in the Nat’l Championship game. Alabama has been somewhat redeemed by this show of conscience.

  20. [re=488770]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Where are you from??? I am from Andalusia, which is about 55 miles to the east southeast of Monroeville, AL.

  21. [re=488916]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: c’mon! You know you want to! Might I remind you, Texas is the land of BOTH Bushs’… Bama’s never thrust a leader onto the free world. ;-) That should count for something, no?

  22. What the fuck else were they supposed to do? They saved him the trouble and expense of having to fire them all. Seriously, if what they had wanted to do was stage a protest, they could have simply adopted the Republican principle that all government activity is wasteful and harmful to democracy and simply sat at their cubicles doing nothing but eating Cheetos and indulging in NSFW activities online. That would have shown him!

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