Brit Hume Orders Tiger Woods To Abandon Satanism

Brit Hume is very concerned about Tiger Woods's Values, which revolve around having sex with monsters -- out of wedlock! He read on the Wikipedia that Woods is a Buddhist -- a.k.a. El Salvadoro-Mexican quesadilla worship -- and would like for the private golfer to convert to his beloved Christianity. Even Bill Kristol hears this and says, "Uhh... that's great Brit, but anyway, about that golf tournament Tiger Woods might win later..." [ Andrew Sullivan ]