So, uh … here we are! One decade deep into the 21st Century. This is what it’s like, apparently. Jesus. Well … guess we’ll go on back to bed now.
Thank you, Daniel McQuade, for taking this picture of this Real True Calendar while Xmas Shopping for your Mom.
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{ 161 comments }
Is it racist to prefer white slaves?
Obama was a slave? I don’t recall ever reading that before!
Hell, I didn’t notice until now that he was even black!
2010 is looking good already. There is some champagne left.
Happy New Year all.
But can we get the 60 votes for a 16-month year? Obama could use the extra time in office.
I, too, thought life in 2010 was going to be more Arthur C. Clark-ish, with jetpacks and with getting blowjobs along the astral plane near Jupiter. Guess not.
[re=487863]Dean Booth[/re]: But a 16-month year would also make me like ten years younger and I don’t think I could survive living through my 30s again. I know my liver couldn’t.
Happy Fucking New Year to you too, Ken.
So I thought we were going to be all Let’s Be Optimistc And Shit for One Fucking Day, right?
But no, I wake up still dizzy from drinking, dial up My Wonkette to see who else is still drunk, only to find out that 1) Barack Obama is a slave and b) Michael Fucking Vick has gotten a goddammed courage award.
I’ll concede that it’s pretty fucking inspiring for a slave to run for president.
But if Michael Fucking Vick is courageous, because that motherfucker, in his own cunt-faced, sniveling, fucktwatted words, has “overcome a lot, more than probably one single individual can handle or bear,” then I’ll suck Republican cock before the sun sets on the British Commonwealth.
I really don’t know whether to continue drinking or just shoot myself now and be done with it.
As a former Giants fan, can I just say, fuck Michael Fucking Twisted Goddammed Asshole Fucking Fucking Vick, fuck the Goddammed Eagles, and fuck the twatfaced sickfuck, hypocritical fucking sickfuck NFL? I so don’t mean to harsh anyone’s mellow, but Ken started it, and I’m scared that I’m wondering how in the fuck Rush fucking Limbaugh is worse than this? Goddamit, somebody really musta put something awful in my drinks last night.
I would really feel better if I could blame this all on Dick fucking Cheney.
As Ken, I think, so eloquently put it, Goddamm America. Welcome to 20fucking10.
[re=487870]Katydid[/re]: That’s OK. When I clicked on the “Rick Warren iz outta teh munniez” link, two other stories that came up on that page were something about how Newt Gingrich is pissed because Barry won’t recognize we’re at war, and that some other Republican is blaming Underpants Bomber on Barry too. So I guess we have the memes in place for the 2010 midterm election now. Um, Happy New Year?
Of course, Obama’s ancestors weren’t slaves (unless the Irish ones were REALLY interesting) but who’s concerned about details like that.
Can any graphic designers tell us what font that is. It looks like something you’d find on some “olden days” themed New Orleans brothel.
Just wishing a corny Happy New Year to all my Wonkette friends!
[re=487878]Terry[/re]: That’s right: this is The Uplift.
As propaganda you mustn’t buy but that maybe your living heritage of a Mother did and did put up, also, and so won’t escape, it’s crushing. That’s what I’m told.
[re=487879]Bruno[/re]: ( http://www.identifont.com/show?5W5 )
( My God, what’s wrong with the machine? )
This was 2009′s calendar:
http://wizeonesgiftshop.com/images/wc071.jpg
…and the address book:
http://www.artisanartsonline.com/images/enlarge_ab98.jpg
The 2011 design should be commissioned by Kara Walker and assigned to the Something Awful forum goons.
It’s an inspiring story, how our Barry (slave name: Jeremiah Wright) was lifted up from slavery by the very wealthy southern belle Sandra Bullock and learned the rigors of three-pointers and Constitutional law by copying his lessons on the back of a shovel. Of course he went through his rebellious stage as Barry X for a while there, but his ship was righted by his future wife Michelle (played by Keira Knightley) and he finally went on to win the presidency under the tutelage of John Kerry. It still brings a tear to my eye.
I’m waiting for the From the Raj to 10 Downing Street calendar…
JAI HO!
So is “Slavery to the White House” the future that the furries and furies have foretold?
Jesus, does this mean he only gets 16 months in the White House before he has to go back to the stables or something? Better declare a few more wars, then.
Daniel McQuade appears to have stolen my cat and renamed her.
Because they use the Julian calendar, Ethiopians celebrate New Years on Sept. 11th. Politically speaking, today is the day we should bomb Ethiopia.
I remember Aaron McGruder’s argument (you know, the guy who did The Boondocks) was that Obama wasn’t even what “regular” American-born Black people were, generally speaking. That because he wasn’t the descendent of recent slavery the way that a lot of Teh Blacks are, that he didn’t really count as black.
I remember some dude said I didn’t count as black because I liked a Led Zeppelin song. I wish I kicked him in the nuts.
Things like this really matter to bigoted sheet draped yahoos. They only have a problem with people who are descended from slaves. Really. I mean, look at how they feel about Jewish people. Nothing to do with religion. It’s the fact that they were once enslaved by the Egyptians. Honest.
[re=487935]Chuckie Jesus[/re]: Yeah, that seems to have been a gossip scoop by Richmond Indiana’s Palladium-Item.
http://www.bet.com/News/NewsArticleAaronMcGruderObamaComments.htm
…but I do know that the Washington Post must be there…
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/comic-riffs/2009/01/aaron_mcgruder_holds_out_no_ho.html
…with an UPDATE which might be blog-speak for ‘Retraction’: we can’t know unless we find the comment (then we still won’t know what the editor knows because who cares!).
Thanks for the Led Zeppelin news…I love it: I once heard that report from a gangman crashing a DK show to a regular guest in attendance. The reply was “What, did you read that in New Music Express…Johnny Rotten or something.” (May you be warm and prospering Gavin.)
(Several of Teh Skinheads would go crash those shows in a uniform we’ll call the Blackpool: Doc Martens and MA-1 jackets…basically their idea of the British National Front. All just nothing—nothing at all—related to that band or their fans or American punk. I imagine no other venue would allow it, and so they show.
Haha! They were, for me, the most risible of California’s teabaggers.)
[re=487870]Katydid[/re]: Many sincere apologies to Our Wonkette and Ken Wonkette in particular.
I just woke up again, sober this time, and was much ashamed to read what I had written earlier in the throes of drunken despair. And I’m usually such a happy drunk.
(Note to self: Before drinking, clear cache. I’ll never remember passwords, so won’t post mean drunken rants,)
Why does the picture of Michelle Malkin make me think of ping pong balls?
Strangely enough, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., not part of the African American struggle from slavery to the White House.
First Kwanza, now a 16 month year?!? Not, uh, that I’m against it, uh, or rascist or anything. Actually, I have several black friends, um, I mean African-American, and listen to hip-hop a lot in the car…
I remember some dude said I didn’t count as black because I liked a Led Zeppelin song. I wish I kicked him in the nuts.
Certainly not! The correct response is “Hendrix sends his greetings douche swill!” and then you kick them in the nuts.
(You may substitute greetings from Reid or Berry or some other musician if you wish*).
I wonder if Hendrix got crap. “No really man, that’s a great make up job. But who are you really?”
*Except Kravitz, who is technically a jingle writer.
[re=487954]Suds McKenzie[/re]: OK, I’m not entirely sure I want to know, but what is it with Malkin and the ping pong balls? I mean, I get the reference, I just don’t understand why this particular meme got associated with her. Do I not want to know?
Barack Obama: The House Slave of Our Hearts!
[re=487879]Bruno[/re]: Vitter Sans Diaper?
[re=487911]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Amen.
I finally stumble out of bed with my throbbing hangover headache and now I learn that POTUS is no longer a slave! Best news I’ve heard in a decade, 2010 is off to a great start!
[re=487935]Chuckie Jesus[/re]: OMFG! And here I’ve been thinking, all these years, that since I fucking hate Led Zeppelin, that I’m black.
Do you mean to tell me this is not the test of ethnicity, heritage and identity?
Jesus Christ. Where will I go, what will I do? If I tell you my other music preferences, can you tell me what color I am? I await your input, as I may need to move immediately.
(A glance in the mirror tells me that I am a light shade of grey, but I may still be a little drunk. I’m usually whitish, but I know that means nothing.)
Peace out, bro. ::pounds chest twice in hopeful solidarity::
[re=487963]Katydid[/re]: I didn’t know there was a Michelle Malkin ping pong ball meme. Honestly
Black Karl Marx was a slave?
[re=487968]Katydid[/re]: I’m the exact same color as Barack Obama, except I’m descended from Teh Slaves. My musical tastes peg me solidly as “Martian”.
Seems the Obamas skipped slavery and went directly to the White House.
[re=487916]schvitzatura[/re]: That day may be sooner than we think…
[re=487963]Katydid[/re]: [re=487971]Suds McKenzie[/re]: There sure is. It kinda started on teh Wonkett. And it makes her very angry, very angry indeed! (said in a Marvin the Martian type of voice)
But where is his long form Emancipation Proclamation? Usurper!
[re=488002]Dean Booth[/re]: At the Kenyan Hall of Records, along with all other Socialist Documents. Duh.
[re=487953]Katydid[/re]: No,no, no. No apologies on Wonkette. Well, no apologies for drunken ranting on Wonkette. Well, anyway, no need to apologize for that particular rant. Well, O.K., what the hell. Hope your head feels better.
[re=487963]Katydid[/re]: I guess we’re all racists.
Barry: “Hahahahahahahaha …. silly silly silly whitey.”
The strange thing is, this one is actually benign. Wonkett, you just think everything funny.
Well-fed judge allows racist mass murder by foreign mercenaries.
Everything is business as usual for Eric Prince.
WF Judge ruled today that the Buckwater Five can skip out on technicalities,
and so – BY IMPLICATION -
that foreign mercenaries could come to our soil
with the intention of clearing up our traffic jams.
And apparently this will now even be allowed in select ethnic neighborhoods,
like Iraq used to be,
until we started bombing them so much,
they became just as confused and disorganized as Americans.
Judge fails to see, for example, part of the reason WHY societies adhere to protocols like, say, the Geneva conventions.
The layers of news within the news are also interesting.
And to be disillusioned with such as this, is to think positive.
Erik Erikson of Redstate was just on NPR. He sounded like a real twerp.
[re=488019]Up To Here Again[/re]: Nothing settles down the locals like sending in the mercenaries. It worked so well for the Brits back in the day.
I would like to see this calendar to see what else the future has in store.
[re=488021]WadISay[/re]: Christ, I thought it was 2010, not 2012. Were they at least making fun of him?
[re=488022]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: If we insist on having wars and we don’t want a draft we end up with mercenaries. Course if we had a draft we would have a lot fewer wars.
So what about Tiger Woods getting hit with a golf club by some Swedish chick he was banging? What month is that?
is this one of the pages in the calendar?
http://www.kdvr.com/news/kdvr-obama-shoe-shine-boy-123109,0,190823.story
need one with skoalrebel’s boots getting done!
[re=488026]Edywin[/re]: That’s in the past. This calendar tells the future. Unless it happens again.
[re=488024]Gun-toting Progressive[/re]: Heehee. I need Parker Posey’s Macon belle:
Nho sir!! What kind of man makes ridicule for a self-help novelist on January Saturday? Erik Erikson will be remembered for more than `Identity Crisis’ and the belief that ego exists from birth. In 2011, he lived in us so that by 2012, he lives again!
[re=488026]Edywin[/re]: Averil. What wood…what loft is that?
[re=488019]Up To Here Again[/re]: “[...]foreign mercenaries could come to our soil with the intention of clearing up our traffic jams.” They do.
May I recommend the excellent Tintin en Amérique? It ends with one ticker tape of a traffic jam. Oh and all hangings are aborted, so no Americans were got off in the production of these aventures.
[re=487990]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Since Malkin is an anchor baby, I am pretty sure that whether it was offensive or not, anything that pointed out she was Asian would make her screech. She whines about how horrible anchor babies are, yet had no problem staying here to leech off our country.
But then again, I personally think anyone that is non-white that works for VDARE is a little mentally screwey at the very least.
What is an anchor baby? Someone just tell me, it took me too long to figure out what truck nutz were.
[re=488034]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: Anchor baby is a derogatory[1][2][3] term in US English for a child born in the United States to immigrants or other non-citizens, regardless of the immigration status of the parents.[4] The term refers to the supposed role of the child, as a U.S. citizen, in facilitating immigration through family reunification under the provisions of the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchor_baby
or more simply that scumsucking toad Michelle Malkin
[re=488034]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: Anyone born in the US is a citizen, according to the racist US “Constitution.” Added in Reconstruction to make sure that all the slaves would automatically have citizenship. It only took a hundred years or so to make sure they could vote. Hey, these things take time.
Ha ha, [re=487990]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Malkin asks if jokes about her and ping-pong balls are funny: Yes they are, you evil racist twat. Now go make another trampoline video, naked this time, please.
[re=488035]x111e7thst[/re]: We think alike, clearly, but you state it better.
[re=488035]x111e7thst[/re]: Odd, I never considered “anchor baby” to be derogatory. Though I found the Malkin comment there priceless:
“the custom of granting automatic citizenship at birth to children of tourists and temporary workers such as Yaser Esam Hamdi, tourists, and to countless ‘anchor babies’ delivered by illegal aliens on American soil, undermines the integrity of citizenship—not to mention national security”
Its only the second day of the year and the most important story and revelation of the year has already occured. Limbaugh: Nothing wrong with heart. HE IS OKAY!
“The treatment I received here was the best that the world has to offer,” Limbaugh said. “Based on what happened here to me, I don’t think there’s one thing wrong with the American health care system. It is working just fine, just dandy.”
Note to Obama; The health care thing is now settled. No need for changes. You should be working on eliminating taxes and government so everyone in America can pay cash for healthcare like Limbaugh.
This is in no way a defense of Michael Vick, but I ate a dog in Korea once. I was trying to impress my unbelievably adorable translator’s parents, because Korea is very family-centric and if a foreigner wants permission to enter a young female’s Heavenly Chamber, he has to get dad’s okay first. So I had to prove I was a man and not just a sniveling gringo out for a hump.
The first bite made me blanch, like I’d crossed this line and could never return. It was like biting into a Jew or something. My face felt hot. My hands were trembling. But I did not waver and chewed and chewed and chewed. Then I bit into this tendon and I knew where it had come from – it was that big tendon in the dog’s back leg. I wanted to lep up and rush to the toilet to vomit, but we’d been sitting cross legged for hours and my legs were asleep. I was rooted to that spot. I forced myself not to get sick.
I got the girl.
O M G
[re=488045]Up To Here Again[/re]: I’m telling you, for real: Boy doesn’t drink Dos Equis.
[re=488044]Dolmance[/re]: It’s that can-do attitude that’s gotten American where she is today. You’ve done us all proud.
You are American?
Ken, if you think that’s bad, imagine the calendar that Fox News would have made for 2010 had McCain Palin won:
2010: Another year of white supremacy.
Well, Limpballs punked everybody. Appears his “my chest really hurts, but not because of the drugs I use” thing was publicity stunt.
Meanwhile it’s barely lunch time and I’m in the bathtub drinking wine. If that sounds vaguely gay and unamerican, it’s ok because my wife us over in the kitchen nuking a corndog for our three-year old to eat. It all equals out.
Um, go Razorbacks!?!?
Last comment. Red Dawn just started on some channel called G4, which I didn’t even know existed.
[re=488044]Dolmance[/re]: Ha! I love it, great story.
1. Eat dog
2. Get host’s permission to hump his daughter
3. ???
4. Profit!
Seriously though, everything I’ve ever eaten prepared by actual Koreans was so savory and delicious and outrageously spicy that it doesn’t matter if it was dog, cat, beef, bugs or even tofu.
God, I’m hungry now.
I guess hell is on earth,
where Rush just keeps coming back from the dead.
We’re actually only 9 years into the 21st century, though.
You might’ve fooled the rest of these besotted reprobates, Ken, but I saw what you did here…
[re=488055]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Way to ruin it for everyone. But have a great final year of the decade.
I hope there’s no afterlife.
Insurance will probably hit us with post-existing conditions.
[re=488055]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: The heat’s raiding, the tracks is fading; Joint’s rocking, could be anytime at all;
[re=488053]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: [re=488047]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: I am American. Yes.
[re=488053]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Koreans don’t cook a dog any better than I’d imagine a trailer trash family with their teeth rotted out on crank would make on the 4th of July. It’s kind of like Underwood’s canned deviled ham without the salt. There’s no grain to the meat. Kind of like a hard paste like texture. Really disgusting. And the scallions and spices barely make it any easier. The fucking dog is boiled for, Christ’s Sake. Like Jewish Canine Soup, which is like Jewish Chicken Soup only you replace the chicken with a fucking dog. And when I finally did get to my feet and walked through the back courtyard to the hole in the floor to shit my guts up, there was a big white dog chained up and within the line of the dog’s sight was a bloody bucket with a big white fur hanging above it dripping gore.
When I got back to my hotel my little ten year old son was waiting for me, his little lower lip quivering in horror at what I’d done. It was like I’d taken a fucking Greek Tragedy. It was like a child finding out his dad worked at Auschwitz during the war.
But I only did what I had to.
[re=488053]Lascauxcaveman[/re]:
Likewise. I’ve eaten from the meatwagons in the Philippines. As long as it was good, I didn’t care about its origins. However, no amount of San Miguel could inebriate me enough to put balut in my mouth. Nas-Tee.
[re=488061]Dolmance[/re]:
You just gave me a great Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner story for the in-laws. Danke.
[re=488053]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: [re=488044]Dolmance[/re]: A great story. I spent two weeks in Seoul and thought everything (except the Mongolian food) tasted like still-living dogs. I am glad that the final “tasting a little Korean” worked out well for you, however.
[re=488027]leaveskoalrebelalone[/re]: Eh, I have better ones of Barry assfucking Sarah. Of course, I’m not moranic enough to send it on company time or through my company’s LAN.
[re=488042]CanadianBacon[/re]: True. If you have chest pains just have your valet or bodyguard dial 911 and you get a private room with good cuisine.
All the news about Rush,
is the boy okay?
[re=488068]Up To Here Again[/re]: To the detriment of every other sentient being on Earth, yes.
[re=488062]Servo[/re]: I ate the dog to eat the pussy. Very Yin/Yang. Buddhism at it’s most demonstrative. Karma. Dog/Pussy/Dog/Pussy, and thus the circle of life remains eternal and immutable.
[re=488070]Dolmance[/re]: Pretty much the same thing here, except the woman isn’t Asian, and the dog isn’t a dog, it’s prime rib. Win!
Wait, a 16-month year? Have we named the other four months yet?
Kenya was a British colony, so the Brits ended slavery before the USA! USA! USA!, that means that Britain is worse than the USA! USA! USA! by one million billion whore diamonds,also?
[re=488072]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: Yes:
Now if man had been born with 6 fingers on each hand, he’d probably
count: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, dek, el,
doh. “Dek” and “el” being two entirely new signs meaning ten and
eleven. Single digits! And his twelve, “doh”, would be written 1-0.
Get it? That’d be swell, for multiplying by 12.
[re=488030]Sleeves[/re]: Probably about a 30 degree loft if you are using a 5 wood. By all accounts, the Tiger is packing a 12 wood. You do the math.
[re=488073]dogscantlookup[/re]: Hmm…”Kala Pani”
Now you (already?) know the cunt’s-fun origin of “Blackwater”.
[re=488028]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: I would live that 30 days again, only to see that Tiger has the same taste in women that I have. Skanky funny.
[re=488076]Edywin[/re]: Ha well, I will do that. Now I feel badly for him; just so much money is in volver-ed in this story.
So wait, Rush faked it?
[re=488049]stew[/re]: Clearly. The closing the wing of the hotel, at the expense of time, in response to his “critical emergency” is the tell. He fears any and all possibility of unscripted contact with other humans. If he’s back on his show proclaiming health care in great shape on Monday, the proof will have been gleaned within the pudding.
[re=487935]Chuckie Jesus[/re]: Here was that band’s response, btw, a few years before that one show I was fortunate enough to see (I had cool friends by no remembered credit to me):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz1sBi0-130
he’s a somewhat respected blues rock guitarist, but i’m not sure why eric clapton is on this calendar.
[re=488085]Sleeves[/re]: Bwhaahah, ya see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG7bwK_P1YU
[re=488083]Mr Blifil[/re]:
One day, he’s listed in serious condition; the next, he’s fine, out of the hospital, and letting his fans know when to expect him back on the air. None of it seems to add up, unless you factor in some sort of erectile dysfunction treatment gone terribly awry, along with a desperate, penniless, “i’ll-literally-fuck-anyone-for-money-even-*gulp*-rush-limbaugh” prostitute/child sex slave.
If anybody has a better explanation, I’m anxious to hear it.
[re=488044]Dolmance[/re]: I can’t figure out whether this means romance is still alive in the first/second decade of the 21st century or if this proves it is dead, dead, dead.
[re=488088]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: The motherfucker just wanted some oxy, that’s all. When you’re trying to score some dope and you want to be able to walk instead of getting your ass thrown in the tank once you get it all you need to do is get yourself admitted to a hospital and claim you’re experiencing some sort of pain. No one can prove you’re not in pain, so there.
VIDEO of presser + TV station strips references to Rush Limbaugh’s back pain meds
http://thepoliticalcarnival.blogspot.com/2010/01/video-of-presser-tv-station-strips.html
Limbaugh was sitting in a chair in his ninth-floor hotel room at the Kahala when emergency crews arrived… He told medical crews that he was taking medication for a back problem. [...]
According to rawls, who tipped me to this, the painkiller story was “whitewashed except on Google. The lawyers may have attacked.”
From the producers of Carbon Copy, Cannonball Run 1 & 2 , and Big Mommas House
Another side-splitting ethniccy comedy.. From Slavery to the Whitehouse – You so Crazy!!
Starring Martin Lawrence, Arsenio Hall and blah blah blah!
[re=488095]El Pinche[/re]:
I wish we could have watched all of those films together at age ten.
[re=488094]chascates[/re]: [re=488088]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Yep, I noticed that stuff too. Then I saw the headline “Rush is resting comfortably” and my heart was all a flutter because I thought he was dead.
Haliburton and Lockheed-Martin are keeping the fat fuck alive. Rush Limbaugh dies about twice a month from multiple heart attacks, diabetic shock, STDs (from child molesting crack children), and multiple strokes, but they revive him with blood transfusions, organ transplants (human and animal), and alien technology. If he dies, then we have 10 million conservatards who will become comatose. All Home Depots, Lowes, and Walmarts will shutdown and Capitalism (freedumbs) will cease to exist.
[re=488055]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I contend decades and centuries aren’t measured the same way.
“Dump Budhism and become xtian, you pagan, African guy,” Britt Hume to Tiger Woods.
http://rawstory.com/2009//01/brit-hume-tiger-woods-must-become-christian/
[re=488061]Dolmance[/re]: Great story. I identify with the snivelling child part. That was my son’s reaction when I at crickets in Mexico (deelish, btw). However the next time we went to Mexico, he ate them too. And I’d imagine your son will soon be doing whatever it takes to bed some nubile young thing too just as soon as his hormones kick in. You’ve shown him the way.
“Not only will Jesus save your twisted soul Tiger, he’ll also improve your stroke,” Hume to Woods.
We were listening in on the investigation in the hotel room…
“Find those keys yet?”
“No.”
“Help me over here.”
“What’s that? A plastic tube?”
“Yep.”
“Strange guy.”
“A-huh.”
“Where are those damn keys?”
“Dunno. Haven’t seen ‘em.”
“Look, more pills.”
“Yeah, and there are more in here. Quick,
we have to get rid of them.”
“Okay.”
“Dump ‘em in here.”
“Hey what are these?”
“Hm? Oh, those are good. Take ‘em.”
“Thanks.”
“I need to find those keys, dammit!
I have to get that body out of the leg manacles!”
[re=488070]Dolmance[/re]: Men!!
So your version of “Hiking the Appalachian Trail” was eating a dog? Ewww…
Geez, as long as I live I’ll never understand all the squandered presidencies, governorships, endorsement deals, etc. all for the sake of getting laid.
*sigh*
Brit Hume’s immensely selfish wisdom notwithstanding,
Tiger Woods’ strokes seem to be just fine,
on both the fourth iron, and the third leg.
DemmeFatale: “It’s a small, small world!”
Malkyn!
Limbaugh has announced that he got excellent health care, and that he doesn’t see any problems with the American system.
Thank God we live in a country where a multi-millionaire can still get good health care. Clearly the system is fine.
Oh, an by the by, Hawaii requires employers to provide medical insurance. Ooops, looks like Limbaugh got his excellent care from a bunch of Commies.
Tiger Woods should be easy to convert, he is, after all, a “cafeteria Buddhist.”
Or, as he’s known in Florida, a “Perkin’s Coffee House Buddhist.”
[re=488105]stew[/re]:
And all of Fox News’ Buddhist viewers nodded in agreement with Hume.
What? FOX has no Buddhist viewers?
“Take this calendar, show it to the captain…”
[re=488112]Up To Here Again[/re]: [re=488116]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: [re=488105]stew[/re]:
For the real story on Woods and his need to convert…http://www.landoverbaptist.org/sermons/tigerwoods.html
[re=487870]Katydid[/re]: Sic Vick on Cheney et al.
[re=488019]Up To Here Again[/re]: Sic Michael Vick on Eric Prince.
T-Wizzle already speaks in tongues.
[re=488105]stew[/re]: I’m not sure I get what Hume’s point was….
Woods should convert to a religion he doesn’t believe so the public will love him again?
Or he is he really afraid of Tiger Woods not being forgiven by God and doesn’t want to see him literally go to Hell?
If I were a Tiger I’d pounce upon, neatly sever the spinal cord of and then leisurely eat Michael Vick…
[re=488125]BarackMyWorld[/re]: Clearly Hume’s point is that while it is bad to be an adulterer, people will forgive that sin (look at Newt Gingrich, David Vitter, John Ensign, Ronald Regan), being both an adulterer and a heathen is simply unforgivable.
And you should listen to Hume, as he is one of FOX News leading Buddhism experts.
welcome to ————————- http://www.ebusybiz.com ————————-there have some cheap things …
————————-there have some good gifes …
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If you think our website is good , you can put this website to your bookmarks or other places ,easy to find …
“I contend decades and centuries aren’t measured the same way.”
THE LONG DARK AGES OF UNITIME-DOMINANCE ARE NEARLY OVER! SOON THE MULTITME-RUBIK’S-CUBE WILL BE TAUGHT IN ALL SCHOOLS WORLDWIDE … & MULTITIME WILL PWN CORRUPT UNITIME. THE ELITE SEEK TO DELUDE HUMANKIND WITH UNITIME LIES.
UNITIME = BRAINWASHING! MULTITIME = REALITY!
KNIRPS FOR MOISTURE!
[re=487963]Katydid[/re]: ’cause she can drop them in the fishbowl from thirty paces with a minimum of queefing. I dislike her as much as the next wonketeer but the girl has mad skills when it comes to ping pong balls. She could be Ms America (she’d certainly win the talent portion) if she didn’t have the face of mule and an intellect to match.
[re=488061]Dolmance[/re]: But you did get to shag your new war-bride on a dog-skin rug, right?
[re=487874]President Beeblebrox[/re]: I was hoping Gawd would “call him home” then bitch-slap him down to Hell…
Good 2010, Mizz Wonkett! And Happy Monday, also! also.
The Intl newsfeed reports that visitors to the States will now face random anal probing, for security-ish reasons – but since I’m a PowerTop, me no want. Any ideas on how I might visit your fair shores should the global economy improve to allow such travel?
[re=488130]jacklang0003[/re]: Don’t let the picture of Malkin fool you. The people at this website http://corner.nationalreview.com/ are more likely to buy your good gifes. ” If you think our website is good , you can put this website to your bookmarks or other places ,easy to find …” , if only I could think of a good place for you to put your website, only you may not find it easily, you may mistake it for a hole in the ground.
[re=488128]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I think Hume’s point was it would be easier for the public to forgive if Woods converted to being a White Republican.
I wonder what horrible things some person did in a past life that he came back as Brit Hume.
Hey, I have a Hole in the Moon I want to sell you!
I’m tired of that stupid ad with Michelle Malkin’s picture.
[re=488125]BarackMyWorld[/re]: His point is that with Buddhism you don’t get a free pass — if you do awful shit, you have to make up for it in some way. With Christianity, however, you can be much much worse and still be forgiven. In other words, since we’re playing with imaginary money anyway, Christianity has more imaginary money — so it follows that Christianity is better.
[re=488138]Bearbloke[/re]: Forget the nasty airplanes. Take a freighter:
http://www.freighter-travel.com/travel-itineraries.html
85 euros a day.
Oh, my — could the Democrats have actually strategized this healthcare reform bill so cleverly that they’ve allowed the Republicans to prove that they’re so anti-reform that their opinion can now be safely bypassed? Are Reid and Pelosi more ballsy than I ever gave them credit for?
http://www.tnr.com/blog/the-treatment/exclusive-dems-almost-certain-bypass-conference
[re=488146]SayItWithWookies[/re]: No
[re=488070]Dolmance[/re]: I ate some chocolate ants, once.
Happy New Year. Also.
[re=488147]Suds McKenzie[/re]: It’s almost as though you have no faith in preposterously optimistic unattributed innuendo. On the other hand, the only really viable alternative is that the House basically approves the Senate version unchanged. Which is definitely more likely. But I still have that sliver of hope that Reid and Pelosi will muscle something through. And that sounds like Hoveround porn, but whatever.
I only have faith in preposterously optimistic unattributed innuendo when it comes to John Travolta and teh gay. I still have that sliver of hope that one morning I will click on the google to find out Rush’s “heart” esploded.
[re=488145]chascates[/re]: good price, but it seems none leave from these parts…
So, have they raided Rushbo’s santorum-scented lair yet?
[re=487911]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yeah, I felt a tear too – the throw a gum wrapper on the ground with a Native nearby kind.
[re=487935]Chuckie Jesus[/re]: … I remember some dude said I didn’t count as black because I liked a Led Zeppelin song. I wish I kicked him in the nuts.
No worries Bro – After singing Love Bites (Def Leppard) in a public place, I was ordered among the gasping and sneers to report to the nearest checkpoint and relinquish my minority ethnicity card. On the way I began singing Sad But True (Metallica) whereupon the gasps & sneers turned into howls of sheer horror – so I ran away from those “poddies”.
Then I woke up wondering what the hell was in that ‘nog?
I feel terrible. I prayed for Rush to die and now Artie Laing is in the hospital. Artie may be a fat slob, but he’s OUR fat slob.
wow, i havent been here in months, glad to see some things never change!! happy new year ruh-tards
I prayed for everyone to die,
so we could overwhelm the Rapture and get squatters rights in heaven.
Then I wake up and everyone is still here!
Where’s that damn asteroid?
If we take the total weight of all republican senators and reps
divide that by the average tea bagger IQ
subtract the total honest rerpublicans (0)
and then multiply by the number of GOP sex scandals in the past calendar year -
Well, it looks like 2010 will be a wash.
This is the NEW math.
Eat your boyfriend’s heart out, Karl Rove!
Well, off to work,
have to create more surplus value for Goldman Sachs to steal.
Is the Wonkette vacation over yet?
We need new threads.
And I am very sorry,
that Mutallaba (“or whatever his name is” – Limbaugh)
could not have visited Rush’s radio studio,
in his fine underpants,
while Rush was out on his latest Oxy-boy-trip.
[re=488158]Up To Here Again[/re]: I came up with 2012, for both.
O-bought-ma the Oreo-cookie with delusions of grandur put there by MF Rahmie, the EMPIRE-BUILDING ZIONIST WHORE.
[re=488176]wonkettefan[/re]: Ironical teabagger-persona attempt FAIL. They would not misspell the word “grandeur” they wouldn’t even use it because it’s FRENCH. Plus teabaggers like empires, they serve to ward off the terrorist, and they refrain from mentioning Oreos as it makes Michael Steele, who personally reads their every post, have violent PTSD flashbacks. Go back and work on it.
[re=488111]DemmeFatale[/re]: You realize of course that most if not all the males who went on to become giants of literature were motivated by attracting the attentions of the opposite sex. And that heroes portrayed in much of Greek literature appear to be motivated by the opportunity of making off with females to “adorn their marriage beds,” back home.
This is nothing new. I went to Korea like a young Achilles… Or Phillip Roth… Or somebody… And I was motivated by nothing less than all great personalities.
I have no apologies. I did what I had to.
[re=488220]Dolmance[/re]: Love (or some reasonable facsimile thereof) makes the world go ’round!
Happy New Year my fellow Wonketters…and you too Cindy Lou i know you’re watching me you trollop!!! Buttseks and truckernutz for all! Also Ken.
[re=488220]Dolmance[/re]: Exactly. That dog wasn’t about to eat itself. And where is the blame assigned to your translator who was all to willing to sacrifice Fido to the altar of the Clit Goddess?
[re=488289]sezme[/re]: And along the way when I look back, I feel a sense of sorrow at the things I had to do. But I scamper in the footsteps of giants. And a sense of duty permeates all my thinking.
I retained my honor.
[re=488534]Dolmance[/re]: (Since this thread is dead.) All giants salute you. I upload four score and seven memories…not for authentication obviously.
[re=488026]Edywin[/re]: Swingtober?
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