It’s still early while your editor is typing these words, but thanks to the possible magic of “a scheduled warblog post,” this should reach those of you near a computer about an hour before Midnight, 2010 …. unless, of course, there was a terrible Y2K10 Terror Attack On Earth. So, happy new year, and thanks for being our pals! GOD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULZ. (Close-up of “Baby On Board” sign; industrial version of Auld Lang Syne comes up on the left channel. Fade out.)
Hope You Did Not Get Blown Up For New Year’s, Everybody!
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{ 52 comments }
But it’s 8?
Well nobody’s blown me up yet, but I took the precaution of not going to an actual party. What with the cops and assholes out there and stuff I’d rather be doing in here, it didn’t seem worth it. And in 36 minutes I’m popping the cork on a bottle of Michel Arnould & Fils grand cru brut and officially christening this decade in the name of communism, drugs and free love.
“Y2K10″
That’s one of those self-righteous, hopelessly out-of-date death metal bands, isn’t it?
“Terror Attack On Earth” is their latest album, right?
Well I am in the same time zone as the esteemed shortsx3; it is about 19:29 here on the left coast.
Here’s to a rosy kitteh twenty ten, y’all.
[re=487792]SayItWithWookies[/re]: i’m sticking with chilled belvedere and utter contempt for this shitbag of a decade. lachaim indeed!
Bon Soir, sweet wonkette.
Best alt-text ever.
Were Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin ever “cute” together? Seems like they may have been somewhat entertaining at some point in the past. Funny thing, the past. It’s something that serve’s a person best by letting go of it.
Also, when did CNN become the place for middle America to get it’s annual dose of things ghey? Anderson Cooper, Kathy Griffin & Lance fucking Bass cumming to you live from Las Vegas. The fuck?
Hey, NYE is the only time I can watch Anderson Cooper. I am perhaps a 12 year old boy at heart, but I love watching Kathy Griffin asking him incredibly inappropriate questions, and trying to get him to say “balls.”
Happy New Year to all the Wonketts!
Let me be the first one to bid the first decade of this, so far, fucked up new millennium a fond farewell.
Why do the only available new Year’s braodcast star fucking Dick Clark and Carson Dailey? (Cbs, at least here, is showing local crap). Is there anyone more boring? Oh well, it is happy 2010 in one minuit.
GOODBYE DECADE OF SHRUB, PFUI!
Happy 2010, y’all.
Has 2010 begun to suck yet?
Happy MMX.
People keep complaining about the 00s as the worst decade ever, but I will say this: ubiquitous camera phones and broadband Internet made it like 1000 times easier to get women to send me photographs of their breasts. As a female-breast enthusiast, I have to say that that makes up for a lot of problems, and I look forward to further technological advances into me getting to see my girly acquaintances’ tits in the decade to come.
That person you just met at the stupid party you had to settle for? Fucking that person will give you painful herpetic lesions. Just wanted you to know.
Happy Jew Year Wonkett and a Merry J-ANAL-uary ’10
It’s still sucky 2009 in San Francisco.
Boo.
Fuck, my wife has Fox News on. They’re having an All-American New Year with lots of encomiums to Teh Troopz.
And now Ryan Secrest, the Dick Clark of the Teens, is giving live play-by-play of the Times Square Clean-Up, just before Fergie doing some pre-recorded studio shit.
Green Day is on the NBCs. Billy Joe looks as old, wizened, and overly-tattooed as Ozzy.
I am officially an Old now. Time to find a new bottle of Booze. Mahalo.
I was going to make some optimistic predictions about 2010, but they all involved Roy Scheider and John Lithgow taking a Russian space ship to Jupiter
Can we pretend this past decade never happened?
Also does Dick Clark cultivate stem cells from Carson Daly, Ryan Secrest, or both?
I’m stuck at work. Terrorists: Want a map?
Happy hour-and fifiteen minutes after 2010, everyone!
I’ve been trying to figure out who the muse for the decade is; and sadly, Avril Laverne is probably the least bad possibility
Chill out, what you yelling for;
Lay back, it’s all been done before
True poetry; but every other possibility is worse.
[re=487819]mirrorball[/re]: Sure, as long as we can keep 11/4/08 to 11/5/08 and 1/20/09 (less John “Juan” Roberts fucking up the Oath O’ Office).
[re=487818]BarackMyWorld[/re]: Right, isn’t this supposed to be The Year We Make Contact? That was actually a pretty good movie, even if it didn’t have an acid trip at the end leading to a giant sodding Star-Child orbiting Jupiter.
[re=487815]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Woooo hooooo, I’m old too !
WE’RE ALL GONNA FUCKING DIE IN 2012 ANYWAYS!! TWO MORE YEARS TILL THE COCKAROACHES ARE KING AGAIN !
2010 will be better. I know cuz Jesus is my copilot. Bless you my Children of Light.
IPA in hand and Sid-n-Susie on the stereo, I welcome a new decade and the prospect that Rush will not live to see the next. Happy New Year, Wonketteers!
More kitty-cat Blingee in 2010!
[re=487813]Joshua Norton[/re]: Hey, I’m in SF!
If you could be so kind as to point me in the direction of the sucky, it would be most appreciated.
[re=487825]President Beeblebrox[/re]:
Since you’re on the topic of trippy flicks, don’t forget Altered States, The Man Who Fell To Earth, and the feel-good comedy, Natural-Born Killers.
[re=487826]El Pinche[/re]: Newsweek is predicting the Dems could get the Texas governship. Now there’s a hoot for you!
Good news everyone! They finally released video of Rush Limbaugh’s “Medical Condition” (read: “Drug seeking behavior”):
http://gop.am/eZcS
Happy New Years to Everyone! See you in a few, but I’m off to get drunk and high with my friends.
Happy 2010 Wonkette. Keep keeping it real.
4 minutes to go
Cocked and fully loaded
Har, har:
On Thursday night, Kathy Griffin dropped the F-bomb while co-hosting “New Year’s Eve Live With Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin.”
Griffin and Cooper were discussing balloon boy (AKA Falcon Heene) when Griffin intentionally mispronounced Heene’s name.
“Fal– Fuckin? Falcon? How do you say it?” Griffin asked Cooper facetiously.
Cooper shook his head and smiled. “You’re terrible. Really terrible.”
More video of Rush Limbaugh, this time of his preparation for his last show before heading to Hawaii:
http://gop.am/qYYe
[re=487829]Extemporanus[/re]: You made teh googles for your vag-y tales comment.
WonketteMojopo: Whatever you do, don’t rent “Vag-y Tales” by mistake. Even though it also involves vegetables and a greedy Bunny, your Jeebus-y sister will never …
wonkette.com/412961/412961 -
Nobody got blowd up? Dick Cheney is crying in his pile of Cocaine.
I didn’t get blown up but I read Kathy Griffin blew up Anderson Cooper live last night with an F-bomb!
After the passing of 283cid Bel-Aire,life had lost its luster.Then along came the inner-tube and I was born again just as Jesus had predicted.So now I will buy a cat and become immortal.The twenty tween-teens will be awsome,thanks to the Wonkette.
Happy New Year Wonketeers!
Maybe this year we will find the Real ‘Merikuh.
Well, SHIT, that’s where my cat was last night!
I have to say that we certainly love our cats. Especially our blingeed cats.
At first I thought the ad beside this post said cretin. So I wondered, “Could I put a cretin on my Visa?”
[re=487873]ellie[/re]: Wonkette is the most pussyfied blog on earth.
this is Lawrence Kansas….is anybody out there?
No blow ups hear, but then again I blackballed the Afghani guy based on his resume, and the fact that he doesn’t play golf. Based on the news, others were not so fortunate.
[re=487975]blader[/re]: My daughter used to live in Lawrence. (Working, not in college). A nice town and I love Wheatfields’ bakery and that cool health grocery store that isn’t Whole Foods.
On the other hand, my daughter had her face bashed in by an obscenity spewing homophobe. On Mass Ave, after the bars closed.
So my memories of Lawrence are mixed. Rep. Paul David, btw, was very helpful.
Didn’t get blown up. But didn’t get blown either. So it’s a wash.
Did get to work – just like I did on Xmas – so avoided having assholes puke on my shoes, plus got delicious holiday pay galore.
Happy Time-&-A-Half, everyone!
ok SF’ers a Left Coast Wonkette meet up may have to take place this year. Some DC or maybe NY peeps did that once, I think.
Well, no big boom out here on the Left Coast of Canada , either.
Maybe they’re saving it for the Winter Olympics.
Come on up here then for a meet-up.
We’ll show you a good time. Especially you, Lulzmonger.
Well, another decade gone, and Wonkette Girl still smiles at us from behind her kinky little specs… Today, we are all hot for Wonkette Girl!
Happy New Year to all fellow Wonketteers.
HNY all. I’m opening up a new school for anti terrorizer training.
That will be my contribution to the new decade. Everyone go out there and
grab someone’s crotchatoidal area down there. We want to train people to be
on the front line to rid the world of the “undie bombers”.
Grabbin’ gash (or whatever)is good for Amurica. That Crock Dundee guy
was about 15 years ahead of his time.
You owe it to your country!
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