• The Department of Homeland Security will begin smuggling more plainclothes air marshals on planes, most likely by just putting them in a regular Advil bottle. [New York Times]
  • Regarding the aspirational terror act, Obama, from Hawaii, has finally issued important threats about Investigating Things.  [POLITICO]
  • If the airplane bomber had been at all talented at bombing airplanes, the explosives he had would have been enough to rip a hole in the plane. [Washington Post]
  • North Koreans received a border-crossing American human rights activist on Christmas Eve! They have called “keepsies” and do not wish to exchange him for store credit. [WSJ]
  • China executed this heroin-smuggling British person, which was contentious for all the regular reasons but also because he was psychologically unsound. [Times Online]
  • Iran threatened to “slap” Britain, like the place, if it continues its alleged meddling in Iranian protests. [AP]
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