The ’00s have been an absolute disaster, a foul decade that started with George W. Bush running for president, was defined by his administration’s moral/financial bankrupting of America in the name of 9/11, and ended with the last of his idiot constituency wearing olde-colonial pirate hats while making YouTube rants about the new president being ineligible for office, because he’s a negro.
And just when we are finally ready to bury this miserable 10 years of paranoid stupidity known as “the September 11th Era,” some Nigerian fucktard tries to blow up a plane over motherfucking Detroit, as if that place needs more bad press, and 9/11 comes roaring back to life, ready to poison yet another decade, and good christ we know the Decline & Fall of the Roman Empire comparisons get tired, but this must have been exactly how it felt to live in Rome during the Fifth Century, when the brave and relentless Barbarians terrorized the Western Empire to death.
Can you imagine if this Mohammad Atta wannabe had actually succeeded? General Joe Lieberman’s already starting an Official War against Yemen that’s sure to make the Afghanistan fiasco look like Total Victory in comparison, and millions of Americans are having holidays ruined all over again by fun new Airport Freakouts, and we’re pretty sure (without looking) that the wingnut blogs are having quadruple-bypass Viagra Ejaculations en masse, Let’s Roll, etc. Just multiply all that by One Billion and you’re roughly halfway to what it’s going to really be like when, inevitably, some other wealthy Muslin anger bear out there does manage to blow up a plane again. IT WILL HAPPEN, and probably soon, and none of us will (N)EVER FORGET goddamned 9/11, not in the 2010s, not in the 2020s, not in our lifetimes, never, the end.
And when the Teabagger Party appoints an Interim Dictator to Inner-Mid America in 2018, the Chinese version (the only remaining edition) of The Economist will run a cover story with a broken-up map of America that has a sad face.
{ 39 comments }
U-S-A, BITCHES!!!
Holy moly. What a fitting coda to this awful, sordid, degenerate and truly embarrassing decade.
I can only imagine what would have happened if the Trucknutz bomber actually used a real bomb and was successful. Hundreds of Teabaggers collectively shitting their pants in fear and Preznit for Life Joe Lie authorizing Nuclear Strikes on Mexico.
Today we are all Dick Burner-Offers.
I submit Kansas City for the capitol of the Eastern Empire. We’ll see the barbarian hordes long before they reach our mighty gates. If they get past the gates, there’s a big underground storage area/corporate playroom that everybody can live in until their done looting.
[re=485636]Schultz[/re]: Can’t we just let it be Texas? They want to secede, we want them to secede… we can give 30 days notice so the 5 sane people left in the state have time to move, and then it’s a win-win situation.
Terror Alert Level: Wackiness
Don’t underestimate our Overlords. China is not going to let the US schism into separate entities, they are holding trillions of dollars of our paper.
I hope the younger wonketteers remember these final days so that when they come home with their hands bleeding and chapped from giving hand jobs at “Mohammeds Virtual Gardens of Allah, Jihadi Fapatorium and convenience store”, (where they eek out a living as “virgin 33″), they can tell their children how Ronald Reagan won the cold war just before we got conquered by several hundred goat herders wielding their despicable “flaming junk” super weapons.
Thank God John Wayne didn’t live to see this…
Just when you think they’ve given up on terrorizing us on airplanes……BOOM!!!!!11!
[re=485657]chascates[/re]: Let’s hope we don’t get to “Zany.”
Yea, airports were the one place where a big black dude WOULDN’T get profiled in this country. Thanks a lot, Asshole. Like Onion article said: “Thanks for making the foreseeable future a living hell for normal, peace-loving Black Africans who fly commercial air. Really appreciate it!”
When will these exploding underwear fuckwads learn? Exploding their junk into paradise makes the whole 115 virgins thing meaningless.
[re=485670]Ducksworthy[/re]: Suicide bombers are probably not good at long term planning as a rule.
Perhaps a better question to ask at airports is “do you have a 401k?”.
I’m just glad the “Terrerists” seem to be just as stupid as our protective services.
When a terrist kills some Murkins after having telegraphed their Made for TeeVee plot and the Murkin gubmint is too stupid to pick up on it – like happened in 2001 with Bush/Cheney on watch – I’ll get all hot and bothered by it all.
That Nigerian dad who warned the U.S. Embassy about his radical son? My parents were saying the same thing about me when I was that age. I ain’t never wore a bomb in my shorts and no one would predict that I would.
The underwear bomber was an inside job.
I long for the olden days when planes were hijacked and taken to the Med East, not the Mid West.
Just like the last days of Rome–while we don’t have wolves in the streets there are huge sections of Detroit that have packs of wild dogs roaming them.
[re=485669]problemwithcaring[/re]: Yeah, it’s bad enough that waitstaff thinks we are all lousy tippers.
The look on Barbra’s face in that picture is just priceless.
Remember Detroit! Oh, wait. No, no, forget Detroit.
[re=485713]donner_froh[/re]: Terrierists?
You mean, we’re going to have to drive instead of fly?
That’s bad. Really bad.
Barry was probably getting his palling-around Muslin friends to torch Detroit so the gub’mint could collect on the insurance and bail out the country.
Al Qaida is taking credit, but since they’ve been using PETN for eons and this numbnuts (now no-nuts) didn’t seem to know that he needed a detonator to make it actually explode, I doubt they’re in cahoots. But of course every right wing nutjob will blame Obama somehow. I would like to see Olbermann play over and over, for his full hour, the video of GWB saying “I am just not that worried about” bin Laden.
Could you imagine that we ignore and abandon Afghanistan yet again? “Sorry guys, we’re off to Yemen, See you another eight years unless somebody somewhere does something.”
[re=485632]turboslut[/re]: Decade? It’s all we have to show for the entire millennium!
What a fucked up decade… http://patrickmcilhone.blogspot.com/2009/12/00s-in-like-lion-out-like.html
- P.F.M
http://whatsthescorehere.com
The unemployed Seinfeld writers are doing scenarios for DoD:
Well, ya see, Ms. DTW Ticket Agent, my friend here is a refugee from Detroit, and he does not have a passport, but he needs to get home to Nigeria right away. Oh, well, — he doesn’t need luggage; it’s warm in Nigeria all the time. Yeah, I know that’s not enough money, but could you just take him part of the way until the money runs out? Who me? I’m Mr. Langley. Thanks for your kind assistance.
Don’t worry, Janet Napolitano, that skank bitch, says the system works since the bomb didn’t go off… Hopey’s gang takes a page right out of the Republican playbook: when things look bad just redefine the meaning of success!
[re=485665]dijetlo[/re]: “Jihadi Fapatorium” is my new favorite phrase.
[re=485668]Hedley Lamar[/re]: that’s reserved for when we, as a country, run out of coffee.
well, at least we got the goddamn medieval french woodcuts.
assholes.
Layne 4 PREZNIT
At least this asswipe got justice- Barbequed balls and life in prison (if he avoids the needle).
Personally, I’d opt for life inside, as long as he has ongoing issues with his nether regions which require painful, lifelong treatments, each of which must be administered without anaesthetic…
I had the good fortune to be born in the early 1970′s, so have spent my entire life watching muslin fucktards kill innocent people for their stupid fucking religion. After a while you stop being enraged by it and just take out insurance.
I have a different take. What a great way to end a shitty decade with a muslin allah-freak blowing up his own doodads. They symbolism of mindless jihadism. I think things are looking up, frankly.
Don’t even think about saying the T word. Nothing to see here! A simple case of a domestic enemy contingency plan gone awry. Give the gentlemen a ticket make him complete 2 hours of anger management therapy. The world loves us now.♥♥
[re=485642]Redhead[/re]: If we can put Berlin-like walls around NASA, Rice and the whole city of Austin, I’m all for it.
Comments on this entry are closed.