Wonkette artistic contributor (and Chicago Reader staffer, yay!) Lauri Apple has a special War On Xmas Eve present to bless all of you, everyone: It’s the Talking Thomas Friedman Doll, direct from a business-class flight from some exotic foreign destination with Pizza Huts and golf courses! He’s so full of crap, your dogs will try to eat him!
Print it out for that special person you don’t really want to spend money on:
Hooray for globalist banality!
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Awesome — my David Brooks doll is gonna have a golf buddy!
I’m speechless
Friedman’s wife, Ann, is a graduate of Stanford University and the London School of Economics. Her father, Matthew Bucksbaum, was the chairman of the board of General Growth Properties, a real estate development group. As of 2007, Forbes estimated the Bucksbaum family’s assets at $4.1 billion, including about 18.6 million square meters of mall space, but the firm’s value later plummeted. The family’s trust declined in value from $3.6 billion to $25 million. On April 16 2009, the company filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, after failing to reach a deal with its creditors. The GGP collapse marked the largest real estate bankruptcy in U.S. history.– http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Friedman
Does the doll say “Easy come easy go”?
Lauri Apple has outdone herself with this one. Brava, madam, brava.
(I am a particular fan of the Mumbai quote and the “sure is Hot, Flat and Crowded in here!”)
This is great news for my MoDo doll, who hasn’t had a mustache ride in like forever.
I’ll seat him across from my Jon Stewart doll, so that I can imagine how those Daily Show interviews I didn’t watch turned out.
“So, Tom, your book – basically describes how anyone who isn’t already independently wealthy is going to fight for table scraps with millions more people every year, and how we’re powerless to help ourselves.”
“That’s right, Jon. It’s called Just Look Out Your Fucking Window, available from Random House at $32.95 in hardback.”
“Tom Friedman, everybody!” *prerecorded applause*
Does it come with a Lexus SUV hybrid?
No “Suck. On. This.”?
What’s the market niche for this? After all, I don’t give presents to the people I hate enough to infest with this loathesome thing. I might have to rethink my gifting policies.
[re=484860]Aurelio[/re]: Bwahahaha!
[re=484860]Aurelio[/re]: Thats a lot like what happened to my household income this year. We went from $3.6 thousand dollars a year to $250 a year. See, same thing except for decimal placement.
“Save Gay MARRIGE IN D.C.?
When do people in D.C. have time to be gay?
Other things the doll says:
“Everybody come to my palatial 11,400-square-foot (1,060 m2) house, currently valued at $9.3 million, on a 7½-acre parcel just blocks from I-495 and Bethesda Country Club, for a Christmas party, unless you’re Arab or Palestinian!”
“Hot, Flat, and Crowded? Stop talking about my daughters!”
“Green: The New, Red, White and Blue and other colors.”
“I’m addicted to oil! Massage oil, olive oil, you name it!”
If Tommy had Kung Fu grip, he’d be invincible.
What?¡????????
[re=484860]Aurelio[/re]:
Sometimes bad things happen to smug people.
Heehee
P.S. Lauri Apple = Awesome
I’m disappointed it didn’t come with a green cat accessory.
A talking penis? What’ll they think of next?
http://www.npr.org/about/nextgen/internedition/sum08/bios.html
(scroll down, scroll way way down, then scroll down some or maybe search for “fried”)
Is this Thomas Friedman’s daughter?
I think the lesson here is: “DO NOT LISTEN TO NPR!!!!!!”
This is brills. Thank you, Ms. Apple.
If the string to make him talk comes out of his ass there is not enough money in the world to get me to pull it.
He has a daughter named “Orly?”
[re=484896]Guppy06[/re]: Makes you think, doesn’t it!?
[re=484882]Sharkey[/re]: Oh, Jeebus, she looks like him. That’s Jewish karma: “I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children.” Deuteronomy 5:9-10
The perfect gift when you want to say, “F.U.”
In honor of Ms. Apple, I shall enjoy a full load of Cheetos on my Freedom Tray, like Jesus.
[re=484896]Guppy06[/re]:He has a daughter named “Orly?”
She was probably conceived at the airport.
Tom Friedman talking doll dates from 2006:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364×2853763
Talking points never get old though.
Well I, for one, think Mr. Friedman is the most provocative and insightful intellect of our age.
[re=484931]user-of-owls[/re]:
*feels something dangling behind him*
“Hey, who put this string in my back? And why did I just say that?”
**icy stare at a sheepish Tom Friedman**
They have Nick Cave dolls now? I want one.
[re=484868]bago[/re]: That mooseknuckle has “Suck.On.This” writeen all over it.
[re=484920]Aurelio[/re]: Definitely, and it was hot, flat, and crowded.
[re=484951]Extemporanus[/re]: I typing in miteens.
Shouldn’t that warranty period be 1.5 Friedman units?
Is there going to be a Friedman sex doll? How about a Friedman punching bag? or a Friedman target for the gun enthusiasts?
In any case, it sounds like a waste of money and materials.
[re=484860]Aurelio[/re]: Good thing he has that NYT columnist salary to fall back on.
“He’s so full of crap, your dogs will try to eat him!” There are some kinds of crap that even dogs won’t eat.
“Trading as low as 48 cents a share in the aftermath of the bankruptcy filing, General Growth’s stock closed at $10.67 Friday, valuing the remaining equity at more than $3 billion.” I am sure all Wonkette readers will be relieved to know the Bucksbaum’s Family trust is recovering, in less than two Friedman Units.
around the time Lexus and the Olive Tree came out he came to my college (a womens college) and spoke to a group of 50 students and profs—-i think it was the poli sci majors, international relations majors and the econ majors and the profs of those areas—-and he had security like i have never seen! posted at each door to the SMALL room was a dude looking all secret service with shades and the little twisty-wired earpiece! then he told me to, “go to a third world country and see if it was all that bad,” after i asked if he thought he really got the whole picture by speaking to, as he’d mentioned in that particular book, the most upper level officials while neglecting to discuss issues with the masses. he also pissed off several international students hailing from former soviet bloc countries and others from socialist nations.
i agree, my dog wouldn’t eat the crap TF spins
[re=484990]Pop Socket[/re]: The only reason you take a NYT job is for the health insurance
Can we have a Michelle Bachman doll??
http://trueslant.com/johnmcquaid/2009/12/11/michelle-bachmann-quantum-physicist/
How long does the string on the Tom Friedman doll have to be to spew out “flatness” (make that “flatulence”) at $50,000 a pop? I’m thinking miles.
Otherwise, you’d think they’d have made it a battery-powered model. Imagine the possibilities.
As it is, you’ll definitely be better off with the new and improved Rudy Giuliani “action figure.” For $50,000 this figure spontaneously bursts into flames — then collapses into its own footprint. And — get this — no additional firemen were harmed in the making of this historical treasure than Rudy’s already doomed to an untimely death.
[re=485121]Witsendnj[/re]: You got it:
Michele Bachmann doll suffering from lagging sales.
http://thinkprogress.org/2009/10/14/bachmann-doll/
http://www.sbbshoe.com
Air jordan(1-24)shoes $33
UGG BOOT $50
Nike shox(R4,NZ,OZ,TL1,TL2,TL3) $35
Handbags(Coach lv fendi d&g) $35
Tshirts (Polo ,ed hardy,lacoste) $16
Jean(True Religion,ed hardy,coogi) $30
Sunglasses(Oakey,coach,gucci,Armaini) $16
New era cap $15
Bikini (Ed hardy,polo) $25
FREE sHIPPING http://www.sbbshoe.com
Next, Malibu Tom Friedman and Ken.
Kudos, Lauri Apple.
“Well I, for one, think Mr. Friedman is the most provocative and insightful intellect of our age.”
Yesh, me too as well. you betcha. But then again I undergo EST every thursday.
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