At about 7 a.m. on this holiest of days, the “Day Before Xmas,” 60 senators who got a bribe from Harry Reid are expected to do some final procedural vote on health care reform, hooray! Your editor is on the West Coast trying to “enjoy the holidays,” and he is NOT getting up at 4 a.m. So, here’s a magical “scheduled post.” If something happens, yay. If something doesn’t, yay? [Washington Post]
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Missed the vote, caught the tail end of the session on C-span. Everyone looked like they were doing their best to GTFO.
I would pay good money to watch Barney Frank do Katherine Harris’ colonoscopy with a stuffed opossum.
Merry Christmas Wonkettes. It’s just an hour before midnight here on the east coasr of Australia. I’ve already done all the things one does at such a time (put out milk and cookies for Santa, placed the presents round the tree, stirred the mice, sacrificed the firstborn to Baal) and it just occurred to me how it’s funny that we have universal health care and you don’t. Funny that – must be something to do with timezones.
PS: I gave the firstborn a bike instead. He’s been rather well behaved and the Chinese are still buying lots of our iron ore so I thought I’d cut him some slack.
Oh, that Harry Reid with his accidental “no” vote. Boy did those senators get the laugh of their lives. And hopefully, a reason to pick a new majority leader. Now.
Merry Christmas from Singapore, Wonkateers. It’s 8:30 at night here, and we’re opening up a bottle of wine before assembling the presents. Go have a gay colonoscopy and a lesbo mammogram to celebrate your “health care” while the rest of the world applauds your Special Olympic Congress for finally figuring out which direction to run on the track.
[re=484723]x111e7thst[/re]: Pay per view gold.
Clearly I’m the only Real Amurkin who was drunk enough to still be up to watch this vote go down in full.
On the bright side, the Death Panels are going to start hiring on Jan. 1st.
Let the Eeeeaaagle soooaaar
Merry Xmas Wonketts.
I thought the pejorative term was wonketeers?
Oh goody. In January, the House gets to prove exactly what calibre of loser they are when they cave in to Ben Nelson and Joe Lieberman too. So Merry Saturnalia everybody. And Happy New Year, even though it’s probably gonna suck ass just like 2009.
It’s 8:30, and I just got up! Did I miss the vote!
It was at 7:00? Oh. Well. Let’s see what happened, shall we?
The Senate voted Thursday to reinvent the nation’s health care system, passing a bill to guarantee access to health insurance for tens of millions of Americans and to rein in health costs as proposed by President Obama.
I guess Charlie Brown finally got to kick the Christmas football, or something. Nice lobbying work, Wonkette! Your backward faxes succeeded!
I’d bet Barney knows how to give the best colonoscopy in town!
One of the toughest critics, as the debate drew to a close, was Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa), who last summer had spent months trying to craft a bipartisan reform package with Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus (Mont.).
I challenge all Wonketeers to come up with better snark than that.
[re=484724]Numbat Dundee[/re]: G’day mate! Can you see New Zealand from your house? My cousin lives there now.
She talks funny now, but she doesn’t hear it.
Do you have a kangaroo?
[re=484729]Oh hell to the no[/re]: You said “go down.” When would THAT happen on Capitol Hill? Hee Hee.
Barney Frank? No. But maybe the naughty nurse who gave Obama his flu shot. So I say vote yes.
Based on who they got to achieve 60, someone(s) went down on Capitol Hill.
Merry Kwanzaa, everyone!
[re=484732]bago[/re]: I hope not, as I’ve been using that one affectionately, not pejoratively.
Gee. I’d never noticed it before, but Harry Reid looks like a close relative of Stephen Hawking in this thumbnail, at least.
[re=484722]hoosiermama[/re]: Get Their Freak On?
Man, CSPAN’ll do anything for ratings!
Merry Christmas and congratulations for having come one step closer to finally join the civilised nations with general health insurance.
HEY. HEY. What are you implying? That Reid bribed himself? WAKE UP. He bribed 59 Senators.
Well, good that’s finally over. Now, on to closing Gitmo, getting out of Iraq and arresting Osama Bin Laden. There’s no rest for the weary. Ebeneezer Reid will give you half a day at Christmas, then it’s back to work. God Bless Us Everyone!
[re=484775]t_rax[/re]: Harry Reid: “I am going to just sit back and watch my rabbits eat my cactus.”
It was nice of him to get his pets something, considering how busy he’s been ruining Freedumb and corrupting that august body.
I’m sure most of the world is appalled that it’s been this difficult for us to make affordable healthcare available to (almost) every citizen — holy crap, just the effort required to drag America into the 20th century, with the Republicans acting as the anchor, has been excruciating — and it’s not really over yet, either. I’m all for the conference committee coming out with a bill that looks more like the House version and then Reid using the nuclear option to forego a filibuster, but hell — even the Senate bill is a good start. And merry Christmas — Baby Jesus is now a socialist.
[re=484795]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m pretty sure that the US is the laughingstock of Twitter.
[re=484801]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Is being the laughingstock of a laughingstock a failure or a success? Let me see what Sarah Palin has to twat about this.
Barney doesn’t do it for me…but I think Aaron Shock and I could work something out.
[re=484723]x111e7thst[/re]: Live ‘possum
Hey! It’s not “Reform” anymore, it’s “Health Care Overhaul”. Don’t you read The Noo Yawk Times?
Why would a homosexual be good at a colonoscopy? That’s like saying Ron Jeremy would be a great gynecologist. I get their fear of the buttsecks, but the joke doesn’t really make any sense.
Besides, I wouldn’t want the “real” doctors in the Congress/Senate anywhere near me or my relatives. Thank God we don’t live in shithole states.
c tomrrw’s Healthcare Takeover vote=the sleeping giant will awaken&action will b takn by”average”Americans as lite shines on big govt growth
about 12 hours ago from TwitterBerry
Oh look — it’s even written in Sarah’s inimitable garbled grammar. I guess since that sleeping giant is going to awaken and demand higher premiums and less regulation of the insurance industry, President Obama should pre-emptively oblige Sarah and take away that huge 188% crutch that the Fed returns to Alaskan taxpayers annually.
[re=484775]t_rax[/re]: http://www.geocities.com/denniverse/MAX/iwastoldnomath.jpg
I thought we had 100 senators, 60 + 39 + 99. Who was too hung over to show up for the vote?
[re=484852]Lascauxcaveman[/re]:
Jim Bunning left town days ago.
[re=484877]rocktonsammy[/re]: And checked out 30 years ago.
*rim shot*
*gin shot*
“Do you want Barney Frank doing your colonoscopy?”
If you’re Dan Savage, yes.
OK, my fellow Wonketteers, I have a story to tell you that is only slightly OT.
This year, my wife, myself and our two (young adult) daughters decided that instead of doing the tree/presents thing, we would pool the funds we would normally devote to our Saturnalia festivities and give each other the gift of “get the fuck out of town”. Specifically, Jamaica.
So, we left National airport at 7am today. We were to catch a 930am flight from Charlotte to Montego Bay. Flight was delayed due to technical problems (some sort of plane parts), then an issue with “hydraulic pressure” in the “engines”. We got on this plane at 9am; when they finally told us to de-plane, it was 330pm. Then they announced that the flight was cancelled and there was no option of a backup plane to take everyone to our island paradise.
The airline delivered us back to National airport just in time for no stores to be open (we gave all of our perishable food to a neighbor so it wouldn’t go to waste).
So, we are back at home…with no holiday plans, no presents, not nearly enough booze, and we got back too late to even buy shit to tide us over through the holiday.
BEST FESTIVUS EVER.
[re=485006]ivenson[/re]: Oh, and the point of all that is…
Fuck a senator. You get no xmas sympathy from me or mine this yuletide, you privileged fucks.
Fuck a senator.
[re=485011]ivenson[/re]: Sorry about your ruined Christmas. Weather sucks. So does the US Senate. And House. And Cabinet. And most executive offices. Um, but, Merry Christmas anyhow. Someone knocked over the Pope last night if that helps.
[re=485132]smellyal8r[/re]: “Someone knocked over the Pope last night if that helps.”
OF COURSE IT HELPS.
I just showed that vid to my wife and daughter. Thanks for the laughs, Ratzi.
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