Libtards across America think it would be just fine to put Guantanamo detainees in a maximum-security prison in northern Illinois, where they could paint each other’s fingernails while threatening to unleash a biological attack on “the mainland” (Iowa). But some people find this objectionable, and so they went to a public hearing on the proposed sale of the Thomson Correctional Facility to the US government armed with two things: flawless logic, and wonderful signs.
“It’s not a dictatorship,” Munson said. “We need to take back our country, and stopping this is step one.”
Linda Ploch drove the 2 hours from Vernon Hills, north of Chicago, to watch the protest and the hearing. She carried a sign that read “Enemies don’t belong on U.S. soil!”
“I just really don’t believe we’re doing the right thing, to bring any terrorists on our soil,” Ploch said. “This is where I live; this is where I raise my kids. [Terrorist] recruitment could start in Chicago.”
One photo from the protest shows a woman holding a big sign saying FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY (a concept that the terrorists simply cannot abide). Another shows a sign, stuck in the snow, reading “NO TERRORIST PIGS ON U.S. SOIL.” The sign is shaped like a pig.
Differing views on Thomson prison sale [SaukValley.com]
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…flawless logic, and wonderful signs. pretty much sums up the last 11 months.
They could keep the terrorists from recruiting the good Christian youth of Stirling, Illinois if only they’d install bars in the prison, and somehow try to stop the prisoners from stepping out into the community to spread their anti-freedom message and make Koranic biological warfare on U.S. Americans. But who runs a prison like that?
[re=484154]Larry McAwful[/re]: Seriously. If only there were a way to prevent them from leaving the prison so they couldn’t get on the streets and start their terrorist recruitment.
Much like no prison can hold Magneto, no prison can hold poorly educated central Asian religious fundamentalists, the logic is irrefutable.
As a lifelong advocate of tax and spend terrorism, I declare jihad against that sign about fiscal responsibility.
Why do I get the feeling that these “protesters” are the same folks who:
1) Buy an SUV to be safe in an armored cocoon because they’d rather waste gas then EVER admit they’re shitty drivers
2) Would happily shoot an unarmed Japanese exchange student dressed as Elvis knocking on their front door and call it self defense
3) Make King of the Hill’s Wingnut Dale Gribble look brave and strong in comparison.
4) Consider a Snuggie as a must have, for the convenience.
The best by far is the dude with the sign “WHY are you doing this to us?” WE’RE DOING THIS TO YOU BECAUSE YOUR POOR AND YOUR REPUBLICAN AND WE LIKE MUZLIMS, YOU STUPID FUCK. I hope you get all the taxes you want for Christmas though.
“[Terrorist] recruitment could start in Chicago.” It already has: first Haymarket and now our own president. Chicago is the Midwest Tora Bora of the United States.
Does Ms. Munson know what a dictatorship even is? I also want to know what kinds of superpowers Ms. Ploch thinks the terrorists must have, to be able to recruit new terrorists (no doubt South Side Kenyan Muslins) from inside the prison. Maybe Chicago is within range of terrorists’ telepathy.
Worried about people being “recruited” into terrorist organizations based thousands of miles away, not worried about people being recruited into the Crips, Bloods, and Latin Kings based two blocks over.
Cleanup of misplaced priorities on Aisle Four, plz.
Forget about terrorist pigs on our soil, HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THE QUEERS ARE DOING TO THE SOIL?
[Terrorist] recruitment could start in Chicago.
I guess they’d better build a wall around Chicago, then, and keep Kurt Russell on standby.
Why even announce where you want to move these people? Just move them there and shut the fuck up about it. It would spare us all this wingnut nonsense.
They just installed a SECOND fucking perimeter fence around what was already a super-max prison.
What’s wrong with those douchebags who think these poor shmucks (who couldn’t figure out how to NOT get captured in the first place) will suddenly sprout wings or hyper-intelligence or mind control or stretchy elastic bodies that slip through door cracks or super-human strength and be able to escape??
Jesus Christ in solitary confinement, we have three more years of every single public meeting in the country being picketed by olds, with stupid, thinly veiled racist signs.
[re=484152]bitchincamaro[/re]: my thoughts exactly
It’s worth the political risks involved just to see conservatives piss their pants in fear of the Muzzies.
Oh this is one of the most retarded things to come from the right of center national brain trust in at least the last five minutes.
I remember a week or two ago reading some of the backlash from this and I remember one woman clutching her pearls and decrying how this would put the terrists only sixty miles from a nuclear power plant.
So, basically, a terrist would have to break out of supermax prison, manage to avoid the massive manhunt that would ensue for sixty miles on his way to the nuclear plant, hope that the American people were so incompetent that no one would think to have law enforcement officials there waiting for him all for what? First off, he would have no means to steal the nuclear fuel, and secondly, powerplant fuel DOESN’T EXPLODE! Geometry and purity are all wrong. Terrist would get there and essentially do nothing.
But here’s the thing, all these people who are worried about terrists coming on our land, they’re really making a statement that they don’t trust Americans to adequately contain them, and/or resist their wily terrorist charms.
[re=484167]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Yeah, he’s A number one…
I’m surprised that there is no move afoot to reopen Rock Island Prison, the “Andersonville of the North.” Those Illinois folks know how to treat their prisoners.
[re=484162]fatherfigure[/re]: Besides, the terrorists McVeigh and Nichols recruited each other during army training, so it’s military bases we really have to worry about for terrorist recruitment. That and, you know, the crazy gun-nut survivalist groups.
But these easily-scared folks seem oddly unconcerned about that form of terrorism.
Why am I thinking Gangsta Disciples or the Chicago Outfit, and why does it seem to be pushing Ms. Ploch’s bullshit button?
Protecting the territory has its merits. I remember having to state in a visa application that I was neither a communist nor a homosexual in order to be allowed into the US. It is thanks to measures such as these that the country remains completely free of communists and homosexuals.
These clueless “protesters” are the kind of people who convince me that eugenics was on the right track.
Why are wingnuts such fucking pussies?
[re=484177]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Illinois already has an Andersonville, and I live in it. I doubt you could fit a prison anywhere around here. Kind of built up already, see!
NO TERRORIST PIGS ON U.S. SOIL! No mooslin bacon in our Whole Foods.
[re=484169]teebob2000[/re]: But the terrorists being moved there include Erik Lensherr, Alexander Luthor and Victor von Doom. How can we trust the government to adequately contain them?
“This is where I live; this is where I raise my kids. [Terrorist] recruitment could start in Chicago.”
Haha. Yes. Nothing says “Being a terrorist might be fun” like a prison. Sigh.
Why do the people with the most guns always seem so scared?
[re=484165]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: They’re building landing strips for gay martians!
That dark thing that follows you around on some days is nothing to fear. Its your shadow. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts and minds of men? The SHADOW do!
[re=484165]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: Don’t get me wrong, they’re fine people, they’re good Americans.
I love how these stories filled with the wingnuts’ shenanigans and tomfoolery are simply titled,
“Differing views on Thomson prison sale.”
The soil don’t mind.
[re=484184]AggieDemocrat[/re]: Yeah, really. Sack up.
[re=484172]Roll Fish[/re]: I WANT MY (highly under-educated, overfed, under-nourished, over-medicated, under-employed, over-leveraged) COUNTRY BACK!1111!!
[re=484187]JMP[/re]: Curses!!! Didn’t know such villains would be there as well!!! As long as Dr Octopus is still safely at the bottom of the sea, we should be alright.
“[Terrorist] recruitment could start in Chicago.” yup, definitely. I mean, I know the prisoners at the local medium security prison are constantly recruiting around here for their drug-deal drive-by businesses. With their prison internet chat rooms and their prison-sponsored field trips and all.
[re=484186]Zulu[/re]: Does Mooslin bacon loathe itself?
They are being fiscally responsible. It cost too much money to have a “p” in the name of the prison, so they shortened it to “Thomson.”
[re=484163]JMP[/re]: The book I was reading last night referred to muslin (as in muslin curtains), but it took me a minute to remember that people actually do use that term correctly, on occasion, instead of referring to Obama that way.
I’d rather have the terrorists than Nicolas Cage.
Agreed. It’s not a dictatorship. That’s why we don’t keep people in secluded prison camps off of US soil indefinitely. We keep them in prisons on US soil, give them trials, and let the Red Cross make sure everything’s on the up and up.
If you don’t like it, I hear there was a political philosophy from 1940′s Italy you may want to look into.
The protesters should maybe combine two awesome movies into The Red Dawn Rock and raid this prison to protect the rest of the country. Wolverines!!!1!1!
Of course, to do this, they will have to change their diapers and come out from under the bed.
[re=484189]Gopherit[/re]: Probably because they rationalize that if a dim-witted idiot like themselves can obtain guns then they can never be sure of their safety.
I can’t think of a single protest where “WHY are you doing this to us?” wouldn’t fit!
I live in Chicago, and what cracks me up about the protesters is that most of them don’t even live near the prison. They claim to be conservatives, who – correct me if I am mistaken – agreed with Dubya when he said “Bring it on, bitches!” in response to 9/11. Where has their false bravado gone? It’s a damn shame when warmongering pinheads lose their wood in the face of Muslin extremism. The majority of people in Thompson are okie doke with the whole shebang. When this cranked up, those crybabies started bitching about potential prison breaks like it happens every day. Now they’re bitching about Ahknad The Recruiter, even though NONE of us has ever been formally introduced to him. I say we treat him like any neighbor, unless he blows shit up.
Well, I see their point — a prison is no place for dangerous criminals.
I’ve spent lots of time in Sterling, IL. They have more to worry about than who is in the prison at Thomson.
NO TERRORIST CIVETS ON US SOIL!
NO TERRORIST ECHINODERMS ON US SOIL!
NO TERRORIST MEERKATS ON US SOIL!
NO TERRORIST ZUBRS ON US SOIL!
I could go on -
[re=484207]Redhead[/re]: I’ve gotten confused by people named “Moran”, as well.
I don’t see the problem prison life seemed pretty darned cool in Blues Brothers and Jailhouse Rock, also.
[re=484189]Gopherit[/re]: You’re mixing up cause and effect again.
*insert obligatory “I’m not locked in here with you, you’re locked in here with me” joke*
[re=484209]TVarmy[/re]: No, it’s a DICTATORSHIP because the decision is being made by a guy who these people voted against. A man who’s not even white! And as the doughy pantload himself told us, Mussolini and Hitler were actually liberals because of something something SOCIALISM!
Keep America Safe From Arabian Killers of Xians! Move Ft. Hood to Gitmo So I Canz Sleepz At Nite!
I heard some elite librul professor say that even though the prison would bring jobs to the area, most of the area’s residents wouldn’t qualify for the jobs.
How the fuck can you not qualify to work at a prison? What, are the qualifications tougher than getting a job with TSA?
To be fair, though, I did see this one documentary where a terrorist was in super-solitary confinement, and then a guard was captured by another terrorist and injected with extra iron, and then the first terrorist pulled the iron out of the guard with his MIND and then used it to blow up the prison and escape.
Wait, sorry, no, that was X-Men 2. And I’m pretty sure the terrorists were actually the mutants Magnito and Mistique. My bad. Carry on, then.
[re=484189]Gopherit[/re]: You are looking at it wrong. They start out terrified and buy guns in the hope of feeling better. But their dicks don’t get any larger, so they feel terrified again and the cycle continues.
1.) Welcome all crazed fundie muslin terrorists into rural prison.
2.) Audition them for fab new boy band
3.) Teach them the swanky moves and catchy riffs the kids love these days
4.) ???
5.) PROFIT!!!!
Oh, sorry, that #4 there was meant to be “youTube!!!Goes Viral!!!”
[re=484218]snideinplainsight[/re]: NO TERRORIST MEERKATS ON US SOIL
Click this link. It is relevant to your interests.
Also, you have to admit, they’re rather sinister-looking.
Maybe we can make them all perform Thriller, like at that North Korean prison.
Wonkette hero Extemporanus can provide da Youtubez link.
[re=484157]rikitikitavi[/re]: Don’t forget that if they succeed in keeping the prisoners imprisoned, they then to think about visitation. If there were some way of limiting and monitoring visitor contact with the prisoners instead of just ushering in whomever shows up into a visitors room and leaving for hours at a time.
[re=484174]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Some people have trouble distinguishing movies from real-life, so this is a plausible scenario to them. After all, it probably happened on “The A-Team”
“HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO FOLLOW A GUARD TO HIS FAMILY?”
Uhmmm – if you’re locked up in a prison? Pretty hard, provided the guard’s family are not also criminals. Just sayin’
They’re always yammering about getting their country back, but I doubt even waterboarding in double layer neoprene wetsuits replete with dildoes would induce them to utter the name “Bush.” Funny that.
[re=484232]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: I think they test prison guards to disqualify anyone who has a sense of empathy. The TSA is looser, you just need to be a garden-variety bully
[re=484242]PsycGirl[/re]: It’s funny you should say that. As I was describing this in longer form to a friend, she let me get half way through before saying, “That’s the plot to the next Michael Bay movie!”
After 6 months in downstate Illinois, the terriss are all going to have a raging meth habit.
That’s what I love about those he-men conservatives – they simply ooze “machismo”. Or maybe they simply ooze.
HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO FOLLOW A GUARD TO HIS FAMILY?
Gosh, good point. I feel sorry for the families of those poor saps who will be forced to become prison guards, especially after the widespread butchering of guards’ families in countries that keep convicted terrorists in local prisons, like the United States.
[re=484159]slavojzizek[/re]: The irony, of course, is that putting them in a Supermax prison on the mainland is probably more cost-effective and “fiscally conservative.”
[re=484236]snideinplainsight[/re]: That was a great movie. Marcia Gay Harden and Dennis Quaid were awesome as the Bushes.
[re=484253]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Never mind the number of guards who have been butchered by friends and family of run of the mill prisoners.
In “The Great Escape” Steve McQueen steals a motorbike and jumps a barbed wire fence.
In “The Great Muooselim Escaoe” a terrorist steals a laundry truck and heads to Las Vegas to find his 75 virgins.
[re=484253]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Since the prisoners are apparently going to be supervillains, maybe we can give the guards secret identities?
I say we throw the terrists in the Mississippi. If they sink and drown, they’re innocent, if they float, burn em alive. If it was good enough for our founding fathers it’s good enough for us dang it.
I’m disappointed. At least one sign should have said, “What happens in Guantanamo, stays in Guantanamo.”
What they are really scared of is that white chicks might decide to become pen pals with these terrorists, marry them, and then demand marital visitation, and produce brown babies. That’s how they got their first serial killer brother-in-law, and they don’t much like him.
And of course the icing on the cake is that the people who actually live there, WANT this. They are all like, “HELL YES bring the terrorists here! We want jobs! and in no way would we take the occasional pot shot should the opportunity arise.”
Vernon Hills? Son of a bitch, I live in Vernon Hills. If that lady and her friends find me, I’ll have to repurpose my basement prison and reverse-declare sovereignty jihad on the fiscally responsible.
[re=484165]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: Mud-butt, also.
[re=484243]snideinplainsight[/re]: MY ALL CAPS ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN YOUR LOGIC!!!
[re=484265]Snarkalicious[/re]: Please keep on hand the pupa of the Death’s Head Moth. It’s a Midwestern tradition.
This is just more we-hate-it-that-Obama-got-elected nonsense. No one believes they are outraged over anything but that.
I’ve built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
friendship causes pain
It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain
I am a rock, I am an island
[re=484273]S.Luggo[/re]: I’m more of a body parts in the freezer type. Go Brewers!
[re=484273]S.Luggo[/re]: It puts the lotion in the fucking basket!
“NOBAMA wants to put lipstick on a terrorist pig. STOP HIM!!!”
I think Osama bin Laden wrote that in a love poem to Ayman al-Zawahiri.
Not to mention the Governor’s “Early Release Program” Scandal. They’ll be out wandering the prairie path in 6 months.
[re=484154]Larry McAwful[/re]: osmosis bin laden.
We should just handle terrorist prisoners like Captain Kirk did with Khan and drop them off, unguarded, on a hospitable planet. That worked out for everyone, right?
[re=484239]mumblyjoe[/re]: No Hello Kitty Terrorists on American Soil!
What if the terrorists start piloting airplanes around the inside of the prison until they hit a wall or something? Then who’ll be laughing, libtards?
[re=484283]dr.giraud[/re]: I’ve had it with these “Lipstick on a pig” comments. I played myth-buster one afternoon and went out to the Beltsville Ag. Research farm with a box of lipstick. The truth is that you CANNOT put lipstick on a pig and you can get seriously injured if you try.
I’d be all for it if the terrorists weren’t 25 feet tall and radioactive.
For a tenth of 150 mil, we could send ‘em to the most God-forsaken hole in America, Louisiana’s Angola Prison. Very few ever leave alive.
The people of West Feliciana Parish, would thank Obama. It would be economic stimulus. Yea!
[re=484167]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Wait a minute, why does the President have a british accent?
Have we learned nothing from 1998′s bloody sectarian events.
Midwest Peace Talks Shattered by Illinois Toll-booth Bombing
“Northern Illinois IS a prison, with many confines, wards and dungeons . . . .”
At least, I think that’s how the quote goes.
Also, this proves, once again, the Truth Of Neilist’s First Rule: “Buy More Guns.”
(Neilist’s Second Rule, is of course, “Buy More Ammo.”
Particularly given the way the prices keep going up since Barak “Jimmy Carter” Obama took office.)
[re=484174]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: “So, basically, a terrist would have to break out of supermax prison, manage to avoid the massive manhunt that would ensue for sixty miles on his way to the nuclear plant, hope that the American people were so incompetent that no one would think to have law enforcement officials there waiting for him all for what?”
KillZ, if you can put that into a two page treatment, I’ll set up the pitch meeting with my buddy down the street here in Century City who produces B grade (Well, okay, C grade. Well, okay, Direct to Video) movies.
Do you think Kiefer Sutherland is overexposed to play the cop? Or should we get the D.C. Metro Detective who recently heroically stopped those ice protectile hurling TERRORISTS?
[re=484174]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Don’t you see? He’ll get there and take away American jobs!
[re=484328]Neilist[/re]: Actually, I want Jeff Goldblum, I haven’t seen him in ANYTHING and I used to love him so.
Come here a minute: GODDAMMIT! You can’t WIN with these people!
Wait a second, Linda Ploch, who “drove the 2 hours from Vernon Hills, north of Chicago, to watch the protest and the hearing” complains that she doesn’t want any terrorists in the prison because “This is where I live; this is where I raise my kids”. Except it’s not, is it, as you live and raise your kids TWO HOURS DRIVE away.
And one of the signs appears to say “Who will protect our school buses, children and schools?”, which shows an impressive order of priorities.
[re=484337]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: The D.C. Metro Snowballer Killer Detective for the “Fat, Black Wise-Cracking Sidekick Who Gets Killed In The Last 20 Minutes, Which Really Pisses Off The Hero” role, then?
Work with me here, KZ. Who do you want for the Terrorist-Hating Hooker With A Heart Of Gold girlfriend role?
[re=484164]memzilla[/re]: MS 13. Also.
[re=484305]bamaboy[/re]: Damn, you’re a genius. I’ve visited Angola. It makes Guantanamo look like Loompa-land, without the Vernicious Knids, of course.
I think the comments were kind of interesting. Apparently the local deputy dawg wants a couple hundred mill up front and a 5 more every year from now until doomsday to “mitigate the risk”, which is police speak for hookers and blow. Once mean ol’ OBL realizes we’ve got Barney Fife on the job, I’m sure he’ll write the ex-Guantonimites off as irretrievable.
In defense of the people from that little town, most of the folks wetting themselves seem to be the usual RedState suspects struggling to recapture that “death panel” magic from this summer.
[re=484303]betterDeadThanRed[/re]: I find they just eat the lipstick (and many of your fingers).
[re=484218]snideinplainsight[/re]: NO SNUGGIES FOR TERRORISTS!!!
[re=484387]Neilist[/re]: sure okay, and Brittany Murphy can be the … oh wait, no…
too soon?
[re=484218]snideinplainsight[/re]:
NO TERRORIST ZUBRS ON US SOIL!
Unless they are the kinds with boobies and baseball gloves!
http://www.baseballeurope.com/345/?tx_ttnews%5Btt_news%5D=987&tx_ttnews%5BbackPid%5D=15&cHash=3fcd0fe9c2
Moving terrorits from warm sunny Guantanamo to Illinois constitutes torture.
[re=484501]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: I thought of Brittany, too. But can it be too soon to propose her for the part? I mean, your name and all?
[re=484165]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: You know what, Stuart? I like you.
[re=484179]JMP[/re]: If McVeigh and Nichols blew up OKC today the wingnuts would blame it on Obama’s communist takeover of America for pushing them over the edge. Hell, they’d be happy to see something like that happen.
[re=484213]Mojopo[/re]: They are perfectly fine with “bring it on” when the bringing is to be brought to the troops, who are stationed abroad, and will get blown up where the conservatards don’t have to think about it or see images of it. They are horribly frightened of any bringing that might occur within 3,000 miles of where they live.
I thought terrorist pig manure was great for the soil. These people have no idea about proper agricultural practices.
I hope some citizenship “expert” comes forward to tell people that the terrorists can claim ‘merikun citizenship after 7 years of living in the country.
Orly, I am looking at you babe.
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