Rudy Giuliani, America’s South American Mayor and the man most likely to decide not to run for office after very publicly mulling a run for office, has done it again! In fact, he has done a twopeat! Not only will he not run for governor of New York against the fake Mario Cuomo, he will also not run for senator against the fake Hillary Clinton.
For months, people have speculated about which elected position Rudy Giuliani might not run for next.
Way back in 2000 he flirted with the idea of running for the Senate against the real Hillary Clinton, but prostate cancer conveniently intervened. Then he tried to be President in 2008, and that didn’t work out so hot either. Some nutball thought maybe he could run for Senate in New Jersey, but that was just a crazy dream, too. So America’s Mayor of 9/11 decided that maybe he would consider some New Yorky positions, again, but he just announced that no, he was officially out of politics for a while:
If this was goodbye, an air of the desultory clung to it, as a man once seen as destined for high office stood in the basement of a Midtown hotel and endorsed another politician for another office — governor — once in his sight.
[...] Mr. Giuliani, bald and a touch jowly and thick around the collar at age 65, insisted plausibly enough that he was quite wealthy, very busy with his consulting firm, his speeches, his television appearances — and that he was happy. “My life is interesting,” he said, adding that familiar pop of his eyes for emphasis. “It’s not as if I’m looking for something interesting to do.”
Ha ha ha, what dreadful criminal malfeasance/dead girl/live boy scandal must Democratic oppo researchers have dug up in 2008, that Rudy Giuliani has officially forsworn politics forever (temporarily)?
Giuliani Says Farewell, for Now, to Politics [New York Times]
{ 49 comments }
That’s what I call a MAN-DATE!
“Thick around the collar”? “An air of the desultory”? Who the fuck wrote this, Peggy Noonan’s sober ghost-writer?
BYE, BYE RUDY. Take your gay clothes, your wifey poo, and your lispyness outa here. we new yawkers and the rest of us murkins have had enough of you
Giuliani is out-quittin’ Palin, he quit before he even started!
Translation of Mr. 9/11: I like making tons of money for hardly any work too much to spend time campaigning again.
Why did they write that the govenorship was “once in his sight”? Subtle dig at the blind guy?
Blame it on Rio and his job as “security” adviser.
Translation: He has no money.
[re=484125]ManchuCandidate[/re]:He can share his valuable insights on where to place their emergency command center.
Zig Ziglar, Terry Bradshaw, Michael Steele, America’s Mayor…GET MOTIVATED!!!
[re=484127]x111e7thst[/re]: And how to funnel city resources into providing favors for the officials’ mistresses.
Yay! Now America’s Mayor can dedicate his time to keeping Rio safe from 9/11s and blacks!
9/11 !!
9/11 !
9/11!
Hurray for pot holes!
9/11!
Actually I hear that Brazil is very receptive to trannies. No wonder he is looking forward to the job.
Bye, you lightly salted rat dick!!
Oh hi, Rudy. I see that the NYT just announced that you’re now a fat fuck who got all 9/11-ed in his chin and neck area. Excellent.
Damn. I was looking forward to parsing all the pro-Rudy op-ed pieces penned by “Anonymous” A.K.A. Carlos Slim in his hobby/newspaper the NYT. Rudy did such a bang-up job for Slim in cleaning up the crime in Mexico City, doncha know? Opportunity: wasted.
Running security in Brazil is an opportunity for Rudy to return to his true passion in life: running death squads in poor neighborhoods.
Dear Wonkette,
Please stop posting pictures of Orly Taits. Thank you.
Also, too, 9/11!
depraved indifference engine: Some screwball named Michael Powell, probly no relation to the wacko who directed Peeping Tom. But I LOVE when an air of the desultory clings to goodbyes, especially when jowly folk are hanging out in basements of Midtown hotels. Plus thanks to Sara we know now that Hillary had prostate cancer back in Y2K–presumably she played the sympathy card to win her Senate seat?
“. . . that familiar pop of his eyes . . .”
Another word for this is “beady”.
Rudi’s crime-fightin’ success is closely linked to his “just shoot all the blacks and browns” strategy. Somehow I think this might not work so well in Brazil.
Aw, there goes Bernie Kerik’s get out of jail free card.
[re=484146]chaste everywhere[/re]: I know, reply doesn’t work on some monitor resolutions. Sorry about that.
But I think you’re onto something. <a href=”http://media.photobucket.com/image/hillary%20clinton%20pantsuit/allthingsHillary/PantsuitAnatomy.gif”Anatomy of a Pantsuit: the “Jacket Length” is conveniently contrived to hide the scar from the prostatectomy.
whoops. just whoops.
Anatomy of a Pantsuit
Me thinks Ms. Gillibrand found Rudy’s secret upstate mass grave where he dumped the squeegee men and panhandlers.
depraved indifference engine: Yikes! No wonder the site is called photobucket. Thanks, I’m pretty sure.
[re=484147]Sweet Baby Cheeses[/re]: or “Canadian”.
Do you think he will hire Mark Sanford to go with him to Rio as a ‘consultant’?
For $2.50, he will yell “9/11″ and make it your ringtone. For $4.75, he will take out his dentures and do his Gabby Hayes impersonation.
“. . . that familiar pop of his eyes . . .” Pushing yet another load past his embittered prostate.
Normally, I’m the biggest Lady Gaga fanboy on Earth, but even I think that outfit doesn’t suit her.
[re=484155]depraved indifference engine[/re]: Pantsuit? That looks more like a pantload.
[re=484191]norbizness[/re]: GABBY HAYES11!!!111!!!!1 How quickly we forget. I haven’t given Gabby a single thought in oh…..50 some years, but the first association that came to mind was George Gobel (sp) and then immediately Steve Allen. The human brain is a marvelous and troubling organ. Hey brain, quit telling me how great you are.
It’s like 2006 , 2007. 2008. and part of 2009 all over again.
[re=484219]engulfedinflames[/re]: Makes me think of the Dead Kennedies.
Between running for office and spending a lot of money only to be a spectacular flame-out loser on the one hand, and publicly mulling over another run for office but not spending a lot of money before quitting before starting on the other hand, Rudy, having at least some rudimentary math skills and being a money grubbing bastard, decided looking like a fool (but keeping his money) was better than looking like a fool and blowing all his money – so he quit again.
I hope he sticks around enough in the public eye so that he can be insulted and demeaned and mocked on a regular basis by all patriot Americans who have never forgiven him for his role on 9/11 and thereafter.
Great, now he will simply continue to run his mouth. Maybe he decided that the gaping hole across the street from Century 21 eight-years-on-and-running doesn’t make him look like such a big shit anymore.
I don’t believe him — when he was running for president, it certainly looked like he wasn’t running — so really, he might be running right now, but nobody can tell the difference.
…or How I Was Rudi Guiliani’d Into Submission
Is his nose really shaped like that?
Go easy on him. He probably wants to spend more time with his son.
Rudy has given the NY state GOP a good old-fashioned rogering. No one really expected him to run for anything, but endorsing Rick Lazio–who trails that sad fuck David Patterson by a point in recent polls–is a real “fuck you.”
Next, George Pataki will explain why he’s not running for anything either.
[re=484286]Elephants Gerald[/re]: Crap – I almost forgot: Fuck Rudy & son both. And Lazio. Also.
Mrs. America?
So does this mean we are through with this twunt forever?
[re=484148]Prommie[/re]: Whaddayamean? It’ll work out great. Just like Pat Buchannan(or perhaps Lou Dobbs?) likely once allegedly said: “Dead spics don’t steal your hubcaps or jobs.”
Oh Rudy — don’t take your love to town.
Why do I always think of “Midnight Cowboy” when I see that picture? Joe Buck wouldn’t be THAT desperate.
A spokesperson for Mr Guiliani has confirmed that the ex-Mayor of New York will not run for public office in the forseeable future. He is, however, considering an offer to tour with RuPaul.
Comments on this entry are closed.