Rudy Giuliani Will Not Run For Governor Or Senator Or Comptroller Or Dogcatcher Or Ombudsman Or Or Or ...

Rudy Giuliani, America's South American Mayor and the man most likely to decide not to run for office after very publicly mulling a run for office, has done it again! In fact, he has done a twopeat! Not only will he not run for governor of New York against the fake Mario Cuomo, he will also not run for senator against the fake Hillary Clinton. 

For months, people have speculated about which elected position Rudy Giuliani might not run for next.

Way back in 2000 he flirted with the idea of running for the Senate against the real Hillary Clinton, but prostate cancer conveniently intervened. Then he tried to be President in 2008, and that didn't work out so hot either. Some nutball thought maybe he could run for Senate in New Jersey, but that was just a crazy dream, too. So America's Mayor of 9/11 decided that maybe he would consider some New Yorky positions, again, but he just announced that no, he was officially out of politics for a while:  

If this was goodbye, an air of the desultory clung to it, as a man once seen as destined for high office stood in the basement of a Midtown hotel and endorsed another politician for another office — governor — once in his sight.

[...] Mr. Giuliani, bald and a touch jowly and thick around the collar at age 65, insisted plausibly enough that he was quite wealthy, very busy with his consulting firm, his speeches, his television appearances — and that he was happy. “My life is interesting,” he said, adding that familiar pop of his eyes for emphasis. “It’s not as if I’m looking for something interesting to do.”

Ha ha ha, what dreadful criminal malfeasance/dead girl/live boy scandal must Democratic oppo researchers have dug up in 2008, that Rudy Giuliani has officially forsworn politics forever (temporarily)?

 Giuliani Says Farewell, for Now, to Politics [New York Times]