Political perfection has been attained: A Paultard somewhere loaned his VHS recording of Peter Jackson’s Misty Mountain Hop from the TNT basic-cable channel to a Teabagger with a big idea: Somehow, hobbits is about Obama, the black person. Merry fucking christmas. [YouTube via "Rev. Peter"]
OF COURSE
December 22, 2009
Paulbaggers Finally Rip Off Hobbit Movie For Obvious Purpose
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I didn’t particularly like “Lord of the Rings” to begin with. Now someone’s come along and made the experience even more mind-numbing.
I expect to see a Birther turn that bad Star Wars sequel with Jar-Jar into some kind of political statement next – or did they do that already?
Jesus, just when you think these retards have hit bottom…
Not a brown face among them. big surprise.
Then Nancy Pelosi bites off John Boehner’s finger and falls into the hot lava. Everybody cheers while the White House Crumbles into ash, and we sit for an hour watching the rest of the Republican senate hug each other and take a boat trip.
The End.
I love how Can’tservatives love to pretend to fight wars instead of enlisting to actually fight them.
Hobbits, it’s always comes back to the fucking hobbits.
Paultards, the winning combination of the mental stability of Gollum, the buff physique of Grima Wormtongue, the charisma of an Orc with hemorrhoids , the deep intellect of Meri and the stunning looks of a white Nazgul.
These gayz seem so angry. And I thought there were supposed to be snowballs, where is the snowball fight?
Well, wasn’t that special?
God Bless this video.
“Thugs of SEIU”? Silly ephemeral imaginary units? Sick elephant icky urine? Social environmental independent underwear?
I love the smell of cheetos in the morning. It smells like … Paultards!
must … have … the … blimp!!!
I love Wonkette…I really do. It is my chief source of larfs during a typical day. But I must say that I don’t think I have ever been able to make all the way through the videos posted herein. I must have a lower tolerance for pain than the rest of ya’ll.
“There are two books that can change a bookish 14 year old’s life: ‘Atlas Shrugged’ and ‘The Lord of the Rings.’ One is an unrealistic fantasy that leaves its followers unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
Quoted for truth.
So THE CLOSER is on next? Cool. I need to mix up another pitcher of vodka and vodka.
THIS IS GREAT BUT NEEDS MORE DWARFBOOBS
I’m not sure which is sadder, the 3:34 minutes of my life I’ll never get back or the hours some paultard spent in his mother’s basement masturbating and creating this giant pile of steaming fail.
S.E.I.U.? Who are they mad at there? I’m so unhip, I don’t know. Service Employees International Union? I hestitate to ask why, as I’m sure it involved a seeeekrit plot.
[re=483916]Tommmcatt[/re]: To be fair, Christian side hugs do take longer to initiate.
[re=483931]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Obviously, the time you wasted. You may have done something productive (possibly…). The person who made this has never done anything productive.
“Hired Thugs of SEIU” Ha.
Indeed — An army of nurses and hotel doormen will surely tear the Republic asunder.
Also, approximately 1000 years ago, there were bats with 28-ft wingspans that did sky battles with enormous eagles? Am I reading this correctly? And giant Flame-Eyes penned behind walls? In Europe? That is my synopsis of the Paul Platform. the end.
Ha ha – Mortensen, Richardson, Astin and the others must be loving this. This was a swell idea!
That’s Paultards for ya — always trying to get into a gated community where they’re not wanted. Speaking of which, does anyone remember that Paultard community that was going to form in Texas? I’m sure that’s a thriving metropolis by now.
You know, these subtitle-y things only work, to the extent that they ever do, when the subtitling and the dialogue are in different languages (see every dumb “Downfall” bit ever). I do like how “Hold your ground” is subtitled as “Hold your ground” here, however.
NEEDS MOAR HITLER
[re=483936]depraved indifference engine[/re]:
…Indeed — An army of nurses and hotel doormen will surely tear the Republic asunder…
yeah, I thought the real menace was teh acornz.
I think the Teabag movement is best portrayed by the banjo playing inbreds in “Deliverance.”
[re=483931]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Does it help you to know that the Paultard likely learned to masturbate whe he read the instructions in his lesbian aunt’s copy of Joy of Sex?
[re=483943]qwerty42[/re]: Good point. Are we sure this is the work of Paultards? With the exception of the birther thing at the beginning, it sounds more like standard GOP talking point stuff. Are Cornyn and McConnell fapping in their mother’s basements now?
[re=483923]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: The other video this guy made is even better. It makes less sense than this one, and more importantly, is shorter.
http://www.youtube.com/user/LimBORGtrek#p/a/u/1/ZVq0Z82mFzQ
The great stink-eye of Obama? That’s the best they could do? Can you see the gaping hole in their wretched, shriveled souls where poetry should be? Seriously, stink-eye???? It doesn’t fit the dialogue at all. As Henry Higgins would say, “No, no, no! Do you have no ear at all?”
[re=483927]AnSnarkist[/re]: Who said that? Googling produces “John Rogers, screenwriter,” but only in a message-board comment; I find no mention of the quote on his imdb page. Some idiot claimed Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) said it of novels written in the 1930s-1950s.
It’s a good quote; I’d like a definitive source.
[re=483947]Gopherit[/re]: geeze. kind of … feverish …
[re=483947]Gopherit[/re]: oops – I just upped his page-views. Oh well. Happy xmas, Paultard!
Sorry, I only read subtitles written in bleed-through Sharpie.
[re=483952]drrty martini[/re]: His personal web page makes Orly look like a total slacker.
http://nobarack08.wordpress.com/
[re=483949]Lazy Media[/re]: My guess is it was coined after the movies were released, so Rogers may be the source.
I get it, he said “black land”– hee hee!
Beyond that, it was pretty much unwatchable.
[re=483947]Gopherit[/re]: wow, kind of hard to say who is more of a genius, Skoalbandit or LimBORGtrek.
Yow, what a retarded name.
[re=483948]LydiaClaire[/re]: Today we are all the Great Stink-Eye of Obama!
I am really so sick of the SEIU “union thugs” meme.
Sometimes when I read teh_Wonkette I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Obviously made to impress the ronpaulsingles.com ladies.
[re=483949]Lazy Media[/re]: I’m not entirely sure. I first came across it on a blog criticizing libertarianism, but I’m not sure if that was the origin of it or if that blog was quoting someone else.
[re=483927]AnSnarkist[/re]: Can someone post this on the comments there?
when i google wankery, this video should be my only hit.
Is that really LOTR? No wonder I could never watch more than 10 minutes without falling asleep.
I have doubts about this person’s Ron Paul pedigree, I am not feeling the rEVOLution. His (most likely male) youtube channel has Hannity, Birther, and other stuff on it that a true Paul Tard would not be paying much attention to. You will notice that the true Dark Lord (Fed Chairman Bernanke was not mentioned), instead the imperial ornament, POTUS Obama, is what the individual is fixated on.
The Paultard needs some blingee:
http://nobarack08.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/nbc-vs-obamafinal.jpg
[re=483955]Gopherit[/re]: Love the part where he puts the birth certificate through a bunch of Photoshop filters in order to prove… something?
I do not think this means what he thinks it means.
[re=483949]Lazy Media[/re]: John Rogers (aka Kung Fu Monkey). Here’s the original, last item in the post.
http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2009/03/ephemera-2009-7.html
I have no tolerance for sub-titled foreign films.
What a lame attempt! Just wait until I get my subtitlies on the “Get out the way Roomba cat” movie
Wherein the mixed-race cool cat riding the wave-of-the-future-Roomba
smites the coweirdly-lion repub-pitbull wearing some out-of-touch sweater he bought from
homophobic-but-secretly-likingit evangelical website.
It’ll make hay outta P.tards puny attmepts.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/21/badass-cat-on-roomba-slap_n_399194.html
Among this video’s many fails: Not allegorizing Sauron as “The Great Brown Eye of Obama”
To create the Ultimate Wingnut, mix half part paultard with half part obsessive Lord of the Rings fan, shake until brain damaged.
[re=483927]AnSnarkist[/re]: [re=483949]Lazy Media[/re]: [re=483964]AnSnarkist[/re]: [re=483956]ShiningMathPath[/re]:
The quote is indeed by screenwriter John Rogers, from a March 2009 blog post at Kung Fu Monkey.
It was linked to by TimF at Balloon-Juice a few days later, which is where I originally saw it.
SEIU beat up a defenseless man for probably racist reasons. TURN ON GLENN BECK MORE, DUMBERS!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xa57w5_union-thugs-beat-up-innocent-civili_news?from=rss
[re=483974]Fred Wertham Jr.[/re]: [re=483982]Extemporanus[/re]: Sorry about that, Fred.
So, they take up arms against the US army and they’re so delusional that they think it was the SEIU? The union for people who work in cafeterias and stuff? And then they try to kill the democratically elected president from “the dark land?” That sounds like treason and a little bit of racism.
But I guess I’m a racist.
Er, bad link. This is the one about the UNION THUGS who beat up a man for EVIL reasons: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gK0eFXa1nX4
It was bound to happen. The people who think living wills are death panels and health care reform is the holocaust and social security is a jihad were bound to finally come to the absurd conclusion that they were the good guys in Lord of the Rings. Of course the good guys were segregationists who supported ethnic cleansing and totalitarian dictatorships. Kill off the orcs and make Strider the dictator? Sounds very very republican to me.
No Zeppelin. Useless.
I only made it 2 minutes. Any ACORN?
Okay – who taught the conservatard to spell? And how to use the caps/lock key?
Oh wow that’s all levels of stupid!
…..and I wanna new play station, and I wanna new remote….
–anything else?–
…..oh yeah, and I wanna new freedom tray, and maybe some Hardees gift cards, and I wanna new…..
[re=483931]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: I think the saddest part is I actually found this with the key words “Obama, birth certificate, lord of the rings”
I kept waiting for the badgers to show up.
Those swords are okay. But for a crowd of vicious orcs that size, I’d go for a battery of Vickers .303 cal. water-cooled machine guns and a s*&^tload of ammunition.
A crowd of Paultards that size, too, come to think of it.
Same thing, really.
(Speaking of mass murder: Don’t you just love the quotation on the Boy David Memorial to the Machine Gun Corps in London:
“Saul hath slain his thousands but David his tens of thousands.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_Gun_Corps)
Yeah, yeah, I know. “Asshole.” I’m leaving.
[re=483999]Neilist[/re]:
What manner of man are you? I just finished taking Psychology 101 at the local community college just to try to figure you out, AND I GOT NOTHING!
[re=483985]TVarmy[/re]: They’re prattling on about SEIU for the same reason they go on about ACORN. I am always amused when I hear the teatards going off on ACORN, as if a tiny group of hippies with a budget of less than a million dollars is really the biggest threat in the world. We have nothing to fear from the lobbyists and PR firms funded with BILLIONS of dollars; the real threat is ACORN. Honestly, it’s like the football team being worried about getting beaten up by the 5 member pep band.
[re=484001]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: “What manner of man?”
It’s a bit early in the day to be quoting Matthew 8:27, isn’t it?
And I’m more of a “thing” than a “man.”
That whole “Island of Dr. Moreau” thingie. You know, the one in which Brandon played The White Whale?
Why does everybody hate on Neilist? Isn’t he just the embodiment of Poe’s Law? Don’t we live for that kind of shit?
Sometimes it seems that a large percentage of the American public lives a very large fantasy life.
[re=484006]Lee Hussein Oswald[/re]: Edgar Allan was a legislator, too? Wow!
[re=484008]Neilist[/re]:
Yes, yes he was. Edgar Allan Poe (D-Misty Mid Region of Weir).
[re=483982]Extemporanus[/re]: Thank you. I tried to find the original blog, but I couldn’t.
SEIU is the new ACORN? This is what I got of this besides a headache.
[re=483955]Gopherit[/re]: He’s getting all CSI with that birth certificate picture. Man, he’s a genius.
So isn’t it strange that all of the sudden there is this mass of conservatards under arms, instead of doing the chickenhawk dance? Where did they get all of those c-tard soldiers?
Oh, wait–they are imaginary soldiers. Makes sense now.
OT, but this is really funny. I think LimberburgerTek called CSPAN:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=385×416297
He was worried (and sobbing) that he prayed Inhofe to his death instead of Byrd. Drinking paint thinner and praying don’t mix.
Shouldn’t there be a subtitle for the cry, “AAAAaaaarrrghhhhh!”? (AAAAaaaarrrghhhhh)
[re=484013]El Pinche[/re]: Soldiers of God have unsteady aim? Hmm?
Bravo. I didn’t think I could ever find LOTR *more* boring.
I can’t imagine Paultards walking or running, which is the central plot point of the Tolkien trilogy.
I liked the prequel, “Birth of a Nation,” better.
NEVAR FORGET GONDOR
[re=484008]Neilist[/re]: HE LEGISLATED FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. SPOOKY.
Oh yes, when I think of bravery in the face of impossible odds and military valor generally, I think of Paultards. Definitely. When I don’t think of Dick Cheney first.
[re=483930]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: I’m sorry, I feel compelled to correct people on this; since it’s plural, it would be dwarvenboobs, rather than dwarfboobs. Dwarvenboobies would be the diminutive.
It’s too hard to watch and read at the same time. Besides I’m too drunk.
Say, you know who else believed in the whole Teutonic Knights / Vengeful Eagle / Threat From The East meme?
Can I get this on Blu-Ray?
[re=484026]S.Luggo[/re]: Sorry, only available on KKK-Ray.
Guys, guys… be nice. This is real to them.
[re=484026]S.Luggo[/re]: Coupled with “Bogedas— the source for this awful shit?”
[re=484028]memzilla[/re]: But what do we do with all of the tour Blu-ray? SOMEBODY WILL take a second to accuse Ragtime Pig Fucker of this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMAtL7n_-rc and everybody will fix themselves.
Two thoughts: Paulbaggers – brilliant handle. Nellist, the gun obsessed always strike me as having masculine inadequacy issues.
“Dwarfboobs” is just plain wrong. It’s just like calling it the “Democrat health care proposal”.
[re=483949]Lazy Media[/re]: Whenever there’s an unattributed quote, you can always say Oscar Wilde. For some reason, people will think you are smart.
[re=484005]Neilist[/re]: “…and I’m more of a “thing” than a “man.” Is Neilist giving us a clue here? Is he really Jim Newell playing a huge prank? Is he the Turing Test plant on the comments board? Is he a transsexual vampire with a deep seated anger at the human race?
Love ya’, Neilist. Keep coming back. Asshole.
Two words – Cinematic Torture
Such a desecration of LOTR. Sigh.
“Let CHANGE be done upon him.” What change? Castration? So he can’t mess with our white women? Oy.
ALSO. Most of my staff are SEIU, as I would be if I were not their manager. SEIU includes government bureaucrats. My guess is that’s who the orcs are meant to represent.
[re=484066]gurukalehuru[/re]: Or Dorthy Parker.
the fun thing is — if you like lotr which i do in an absurdly geeky way, both books and movies — the paultard titles are completely irrelevant and i found myself tearing up for the 200th time watching that scene.
yes, yes i know but can’t help it.
Why don’t they show the hobbitish paultards being gay for each other, or King Paul’s interracial elf marriage? Where’s Dennis Kucinich trying to reclaim his precious?
[re=483997]Mahousu[/re]: That one made more sense, especially the mushroom reference. And Gimlet never sounded so articulate.
These Paulists, though: Now they’re LOTR fans? Don’t they know it’s for fags?
[re=483947]Gopherit[/re]: That was absolutely terrible, it’s like those old VH1 pop up videos only less entertaining and informative (which puts us in negative territory I believe).
On the other hand, I’m intrigued by this “The Invaders” and now am thinking of tracking it down to watch a few episodes.
Oh, not the eagles, man! I hate the fucking eagles!
[re=484120]Sussemilch[/re]: On the plus side, it does show a hirsute Ginger, eyes wide, as looks forward to repeated anal insertions by a gang of drunken orcs. Just another Baltimore weekend.
So wait, ‘Frodo’ has been replaced with ‘freedom’? I thought ‘freedom’ was supposed to be a euphemism for ‘French’. Were the Hobbits originally fighting for France?
[re=484068]gurukalehuru[/re]: Is Neilist giving us a clue here? Is he really Jim Newell playing a huge prank? Is he the Turing Test plant on the comments board? Is he a transsexual vampire with a deep seated anger at the human race?
In a word: “All of the above.”
Wait, that’s four words. Instead: “YES!”
(Alan Turing was a FAG, by the way. HAL-9000 told me so. Or maybe it was Douglas Rains. Whatever.)
And stop calling Jim Newell, one of my alternative personalities, an “asshole.” It makes his hair hurt.
[re=483927]AnSnarkist[/re]: Nicely put and quite true in my experience. Reading about hobbits is a phase they most people grow out of as they move toward adulthood. Readers of Ayn Rand think what she describes is adulthood. But if they’re in the thumb sucking stage when they read this gibberish, they will remain thumbsuckers forever.
[re=484011]El Pinche[/re]: I’m so disappointed that ACORN wasn’t even mentioned in the video. I just don’t keep up with who the villains are.
[re=484338]Ducksworthy[/re]: Especially true if they’re in the anal phase
[re=484058]snideinplainsight[/re]: I don’t get dwarfboobs. Does that mean catastrophically little boobs on a regular person? Or does that mean regular boobs on a dwarf? Or does that mean a small nincompoop?
English is supposed to not be my second language.
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