THIS PARKER GRIFFITH CHARACTER  11:07 am December 22, 2009

by Juli Weiner

SHOULD HAVE CALLED “NO SWITCHSIES”: Oh goodness! Democratic Congressman from Alabama Parker Griffith will announce later today that he is actually now a Republican Congressman from Alabama. “The switch represents a coup for House Republican leadership, which had been courting Griffith since he publicly criticized Democratic leadership in the wake of raucous town halls over the summer.” [POLITICO]

 

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{ 90 comments }

bureaucrap December 22, 2009 at 11:10 am

That’s okay. In return, we got Arlen Specter.

No, wait…

Darkness December 22, 2009 at 11:13 am

ActBlue, take note! Future republicans can be spotted because they have their switching fee listed right there on their website.

ManchuCandidate December 22, 2009 at 11:15 am

Parker Griffith can’t lose?

ForTheTurnstiles December 22, 2009 at 11:17 am

What kind of country club wanker names their asshole kid Parker Griffith?

memzilla December 22, 2009 at 11:20 am

Back in the Cold War days, the KGB never trusted a turncoat, even Kim Philby. They figured that if you were going to be disloyal to the country you were born in, how could you be loyal to anything else?

Of course, it could be a Democratic ploy to penetrate the inner workings of the House reThuglican leadership. But this would require Democrats with balls and reThuglicans who are leaders, so I guess not…

DangerousLiberal December 22, 2009 at 11:20 am

Like water, asshats also find their own level.

DangerousLiberal December 22, 2009 at 11:21 am

Also, big props to Citibank for offering to turn my money into rupees, also. WTF?

FMA December 22, 2009 at 11:22 am

So he’s a Republican trapped in a Democrat’s body?
Is this kind of thing covered in the House health-care reform deal?

tygzbg1 December 22, 2009 at 11:22 am

Doesn’t matter, Dems still have a major lead in House. Call it a trade for NY 23.

Gopherit December 22, 2009 at 11:24 am

That is one seriously repressed, fat, white guy. I bet he has a closet full of neoprene suits and dildoes.

Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

JMP December 22, 2009 at 11:24 am

Mr. Twolastnames, you do realize that it wasn’t the Democrats who were disrupting the townhall meetings by screaming “Nazi!” last summer, don’t you?

Also, have you paid attention to what’s happening in your own House? “He added that if the Democratic leadership wouldn’t commit to working in a more bipartisan manner, “perhaps we should look at altering that.”.” Uh, it’s kind of hard to work in a bipartisan manner when the other party refuses to do anything but obstruct.

Prommie December 22, 2009 at 11:26 am

Whats an “Alabama Democrat?” I thought that meant “republican” anyway?

nbawriter December 22, 2009 at 11:27 am

[re=483661]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: I think the answer is “All of them(?)”

Katydid December 22, 2009 at 11:27 am

Hmmm….he’s another Republican “doctor” who is fighting against health care reform, has a cancer treatment center, which are well-known ripoffs and money-making schemes anyway, and it’s been alleged that he deliberately underdosed cancer patients to save money.

Sounds like a Republican healthcare expert to me.

If only he were an OB-GYN. Why would any woman in her right mind spread her legs for Tom Coburn, btw? (It is Coburn, right?) I’d as soon as have a cabdriver deliver my kid, and I’m not kidding.

Aflac Shrugged December 22, 2009 at 11:29 am

[re=483665]FMA[/re]: It’s much less involved than sex-reassignment surgery. They just take the balls and give them to a CEO for safekeeping.

magic titty December 22, 2009 at 11:29 am

Alabama is still around? Whatever.

Larry McAwful December 22, 2009 at 11:29 am

This is a coup? Griffith has voted against every major vote the Democrats have had, from the stimulus to health care. That’s kind of like saying it’s a “coup” to get a rabid dog to bite you a little more gently.

Advocatus_Diaboli December 22, 2009 at 11:30 am

with apologies to whomever, the collective IQ of both parties just shot up.

JMP December 22, 2009 at 11:30 am

[re=483664]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Well, how else are you going to upgrade to the Bigger Bomb Bag and fill your jars with a good supply of Red Potions?

AnnieGetYourFun December 22, 2009 at 11:31 am

He blamed the town halls on Democrats? Huh.

Crow T. Robot December 22, 2009 at 11:31 am

Does this mean we can spend any less time kissing Joe L.’s skinny, wrinkly ass?

I sorta doubt it.

ph7 December 22, 2009 at 11:32 am

Time to cancel the subscription to The Worker.

Snarko Marx December 22, 2009 at 11:33 am

The only reason any of these blue dog deep south “democratic” politicians aren’t members of the republican party from the start is because that’s the party Abe Lincoln was in and they grew up listening to their grandpappy spew venom against him along with the tobacco juice.

Larry McAwful December 22, 2009 at 11:33 am

[re=483678]JMP[/re]: For the record, I just got the Green Ring last week. I now have 63 rings, and expect to get the Level-3 Armor Ring very soon. Then I’ll have all 64, and I can put this stupid game down forever.

x111e7thst December 22, 2009 at 11:34 am

[re=483668]JMP[/re]: When he heard them screaming “Nazi” he got special feelings, down there, where there have been no feelings for many years. He’s just hoping it will happen again.

mookworthjwilson December 22, 2009 at 11:35 am

little boy related scandal in 3, 2, 1…

kentuckienne2 December 22, 2009 at 11:35 am

With a name like Parker Griffith, how the hell was he not a Republican from birth?

thefrontpage December 22, 2009 at 11:41 am

Parker Griffith should change his name while he’s at it.

Really–what a crappy move by a U.S. Representative, at this particular time.

Guys like this need to be tied down in the basement of the C Street house (safely, that is) for some lengthy dungeon time with John Ensign, Don Sherwood, Mark Foley and William Jefferson.

doxastic December 22, 2009 at 11:43 am

All the necessary conditions for a Michael Steele Perfect Shit-Storm are in place. We have a cold low-pressure scandal combining with hot air from the south.

TGY December 22, 2009 at 11:47 am

Is that like a Democrat with more duct tape?

thefrontpage December 22, 2009 at 11:47 am

[re=483691]doxastic[/re]: Excellent. Very good.

chaste everywhere December 22, 2009 at 11:49 am

[re=483665]FMA[/re]: He’s a power forward trapped in a point guard’s body. No, wait, he’s a lesbian nun trapped in the body of a priest . . . Umm, an asshole trapped in the asshole of an asshole? Got it!

germansteel December 22, 2009 at 11:50 am

Does he mean he’s going to change, now, and vote sometimes with the Democrats (as a Republican) when he says it’s time to alter the partisan voting that has been happening in Congress?

Anybody who blames the Dems for the town hall craziness is moranic enough to not notice that a lot more Democrats have crossed the aisle than the other way around.

JMP December 22, 2009 at 11:51 am

[re=483676]Larry McAwful[/re]: And it looks like he really just changed parties because he thought he was going to lose in 2010. No great loss.

Manos: Hands of Fate December 22, 2009 at 11:51 am

Don’t let the door hit you on the ass, you no good punk. Real Americans still hate you anyway.

Monsieur Grumpe December 22, 2009 at 11:51 am

[re=483685]mookworthjwilson[/re]:
The house pages are always sweeter on the other side of the fence.

Joshua Norton December 22, 2009 at 11:55 am

He obviously realized that the only way to have influence over the current crop of Dems was to be a bigmouth Repug.

Whenever the new majority gets yelled at and spoke mean to, most of them crumble like a $2 umbrella in a tsunami and go running to “Meet the Press” to tongue-kiss what ever group of wingnutz have been assembled that week.

SayItWithWookies December 22, 2009 at 11:55 am

Ironically, a National Republican Congressional Committee spokesman called Griffith a “woefully ineffective advocate for Tennessee Valley jobs” after the decision was announced in September.

Well if he can’t create jobs, has bucked the trend of successful legislation and regularly works with cancer, then he’s perfect Republican material. It’s weird watching a rat leave a ship that’s just been refloated, but hell — being out of power will give him more time on the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail and those nice sugar-white beaches.

elburrito December 22, 2009 at 11:57 am

Your loss, dick! MoveOn.org is going to find a committed progressive to take that seat back in 2010!

thesheriffisnear December 22, 2009 at 11:57 am

The whole state of Alabama looks like this guy; except the womenfolk and the Black people,also.

Larry McAwful December 22, 2009 at 11:58 am

[re=483701]JMP[/re]: Quite right. There were three Republicans already engaged in a primary to run against Parker Lewis Griffith. I bet they’re going to be mad. I hope they continue with the primary, anyway. There’s no way a Democrat will win this one, but seeing four Alabama Republicans beat up on each other over a heavily Republican seat is toward the top of my Christmas wish list.

JadedDIssonance December 22, 2009 at 12:15 pm

We think he was ‘outed’ for political reasons.

Schmegeg December 22, 2009 at 12:16 pm

All that Courtin’ the Republicans did to woo this guy, and it was the Christmas Card from Michael Steele that closed the deal.

Gopherit December 22, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Hahaha! The republicans are cowards! Where’s your Baby Jesus now, Coburn?!!

http://thinkprogress.org/2009/12/22/christmas-vote/

S.Luggo December 22, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Griffith’s first step as a Republican will be to seek funds for the demolition of the Heller Keller Home in Tuscumbia, Alabama. “No use coddling these people,” said Griffith. “That’s damn good land going to waste.”

JadedDIssonance December 22, 2009 at 12:20 pm

[re=483711]Larry McAwful[/re]: But “politicoe” did mark the fact that this district was heavily democrat….as far as we trust that nadir of political bellweathers.

Cape Clod December 22, 2009 at 12:21 pm

I can’t wait for the teabaggers to announce that he isn’t ideologically ‘pure’ enough and he gets primaried out of politics by some neanderthal wingnut.

JadedDIssonance December 22, 2009 at 12:23 pm

[re=483719]Gopherit[/re]: It annoys me that Republicans celebrate Christmas.

Lascauxcaveman December 22, 2009 at 12:25 pm

[re=483676]Larry McAwful[/re]: This is a coup? Griffith has voted against every major vote the Democrats have had, from the stimulus to health care. That’s kind of like saying it’s a “coup” to get a rabid dog to bite you a little more gently.

Allow me to tinker with your analogy: The rabid dog is still biting you, but he’s not your dog anymore; he ran away to stay with the neighbors you hate.

Also Democrat from Alabama? WTF year does this guy thing it is 1930?

mookworthjwilson December 22, 2009 at 12:26 pm

[re=483709]elburrito[/re]: Muhammed Gonzalez a gay muslim interior decorator is on the short list i hear….

Larry McAwful December 22, 2009 at 12:27 pm

[re=483722]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Yeah, but you need to understand Politico’s methodology. What they mean by “heavily Democrat” is that all fifteen of the Democrats in Alabama’s fifth district are overweight.

Maybe Politico’s facts are convoluted, but the stuff they post is only 96% made up, give or take 4%.

Joshua Norton December 22, 2009 at 12:28 pm

“Democrat from Alabama” is just another way of saying “Republican”.

snideinplainsight December 22, 2009 at 12:28 pm

His real name is Parker Lewis Downey Grover Millard Milford D.W. Griffith, but that wouldn’t fit on the campaign posters.

snideinplainsight December 22, 2009 at 12:28 pm

But his new repub-sub name will just be “Scootie”.

JMP December 22, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=483722]JadedDIssonance[/re]: A heavily Democratic district . . . that went for McCain 61% last year. I think those people are called “Dixiecrats,” AKA racists who still hate Lincoln too much to switch to their home party.

[re=483719]Gopherit[/re]: But according to the Washington Post, it’s all that mean Harry Reid’s fault. Of course, Coburn’s hoping that each extra day they delay could be the day Byrd dies.

Larry McAwful December 22, 2009 at 12:36 pm

The Republicans have already pointed out that Griffith is a dupe for radical Islam and will found Al Qaeda in Decatur once he gets reëlected, as this ad demonstrates:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyVdDOSWEsg&feature=player_embedded

Larry McAwful December 22, 2009 at 12:38 pm

[re=483727]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I like that better. Pets and their owners often take after each other, anyway.

the problem child December 22, 2009 at 12:41 pm

I’m thinking a few of those lefty PACs that have been supporting his re-election might want their money back.

Dashboard_Buddha December 22, 2009 at 12:41 pm

Door…meet ass.

WadISay December 22, 2009 at 12:49 pm

[re=483723]Cape Clod[/re]: Oh, wait no longer, this is already happening (see TPM). Erik bin Erik at Redstate wants a “real Republican” to run next year. Griffith will learn that, if you board the train to Crazytown, you should plan to stay on until the last stop.

x111e7thst December 22, 2009 at 12:58 pm

[re=483743]WadISay[/re]: I guess a rerun of NY 23 is too much to hope for.

hedgehog December 22, 2009 at 1:05 pm

I guess he got tired of Barney Frank’s repeated attempts to “caucus” with him.

Joey Ratz December 22, 2009 at 1:07 pm

I don’t get it. Seriously. If he was a senator, this would have been a “coup”, but he’s the most junior congresscreature from Alabama, and the Dems still have a substantial majority in the House. It changes nothing. WTF is Politico on?

Jukesgrrl December 22, 2009 at 1:10 pm

[re=483723]Cape Clod[/re]: The teabaggers HAVE already announced that Parker Griffith isn’t ideologically pure enough. Erick Erickson wrote in Red State, “We will not fix the GOP’s problems if we keep allowing people who are not one of us to suddenly switch the letter next to their name and magically become one of us.” In other words, you can have a wanker name and vote straight Republican, but you aren’t really “one of us” until you molest a Congressional page.

Decker December 22, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Way to shore up your Southern base, GOP. Alabama was in real danger of slipping away.

mumblyjoe December 22, 2009 at 1:17 pm

Douchebag switches party for incoherent reasons. Where have I seen this before?

Wait, no, that’s not fair. Specter actually was pretty forthcoming that he was switching parties because he didn’t want to get challenged from the right. This guy’s just a douchebag.

Cape Clod December 22, 2009 at 1:24 pm

[re=483743]WadISay[/re]: [re=483756]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Good riddence to bad rubbish, or perhaps we should say kharma is a bitch.

Manos: Hands of Fate December 22, 2009 at 1:26 pm

[re=483752]Joey Ratz[/re]: The guy voted against the Democrats on nearly every issue, while complaining that it was Pelosi’s fault the GOP were acting like full-time dicks. So the Republicans get another pasty, silver haired congressman from the deep south, big whuup.

Escape Goat Nation December 22, 2009 at 1:26 pm

Was there a famous Confederate Civil War named Parker?

Escape Goat Nation December 22, 2009 at 1:29 pm

oops, Civil War General.

S.Luggo December 22, 2009 at 1:32 pm

[re=483723]Cape Clod[/re]: For starters, Parker Parker is a friend of Islamo-Fascists:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nbv2EC9u6Ns&feature=player_embedded

Joey Ratz December 22, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=483772]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Nonono – I get why he’s switching parties (that Pelosi mental health joke was a real gem, wasn’t it?). What I don’t get is why Politico thinks this is a big deal.

the problem child December 22, 2009 at 1:37 pm

He is in good company with the other hypocrites: http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/michelle_bachman_welfare_queen_20091221/

BeWoot December 22, 2009 at 1:39 pm

[re=483752]Joey Ratz[/re]: Why do you think they call it dope?

TGY December 22, 2009 at 1:55 pm

[re=483752]Joey Ratz[/re]: Maybe they mean ‘coup’ as in ‘chicken’.

JMP December 22, 2009 at 1:58 pm

[re=483783]Joey Ratz[/re]: It’s the Politico. For them, everything is good news for Republicans; so when something happens that actually is good for Republicans, no matter how marginal, it’s a huge deal.

ForTheTurnstiles December 22, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Solution: let the teabaggers run their segregationist libertarian foil-hatter on Parker Wankroft Barnes VI’s right hand side, Constitution Party or whatever. Run a plausible, responsible, no-risk female Democrat against both of them. Who wins in a three-way fuckfest in Alabama? America does.

Extemporanus December 22, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Is he a Family guy?

S.Luggo December 22, 2009 at 2:30 pm

[re=483821]Extemporanus[/re]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgoaTqWMZ-E&feature=player_embedded

He hates the sicks.

An Outhouse December 22, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Tired of being a top? The bottom is always hiring.

user-of-owls December 22, 2009 at 2:35 pm

[re=483661]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Well, when the nurse dropped Parker on his head shortly after birth, it was clear his disability would limit career possibilities. So at that point, it came down to a coin flip to choose between “Parker” and “Valet.”

Hooray For Anything December 22, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=483797]JMP[/re]: That sound you hear is a 100 pundits furiously pounding on their keyboards a column saying that it’s bad news for Obama and that it’s proof that the Democrats are too partisan and too liberal and that voters will punish them in 2010 for making those poor Republicans have to filibuster everything

Extemporanus December 22, 2009 at 2:41 pm

[re=483837]S.Luggo[/re]: Oh, thank god!

I thought his last name was Griffin.

user-of-owls December 22, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=483719]Gopherit[/re]: BREAKING! Indeed, they are a bunch of fairies who, rather than fight, would rather race home for Xmas to see the abject horror on the faces of their small children when they unwrap their only gift under the tree: a copy of Atlas Shrugged.

Manos: Hands of Fate December 22, 2009 at 3:05 pm

[re=483783]Joey Ratz[/re]: Someone needs to win the afternoon.

Dolmance December 22, 2009 at 3:07 pm

He thinks switching is a good move, in a region that hasn’t had a Republican representing them since before they transformed into swine?

This guy might have a few screws loose. Because it’s like the political equivalent of a pollack joke.

doxastic December 22, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=483723]Cape Clod[/re]: Didn’t have to wait long. RedState and Club for Growth ain’t having it, and at least one of his Republican primary counterparts isn’t giving in. Hope you like that revenge very very very cold, Rep. Country Club Name.

Mr Blifil December 22, 2009 at 6:28 pm

See, turns out he doesn’t love the negro after all. Them folks back home wuz worng.

El Pinche December 22, 2009 at 7:19 pm

More of these blue dog dems should do the same.

Potater December 23, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Who?

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