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SHOULD HAVE CALLED “NO SWITCHSIES”: Oh goodness! Democratic Congressman from Alabama Parker Griffith will announce later today that he is actually now a Republican Congressman from Alabama. “The switch represents a coup for House Republican leadership, which had been courting Griffith since he publicly criticized Democratic leadership in the wake of raucous town halls over the summer.” [POLITICO]

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Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

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  • bureaucrap

    That’s okay. In return, we got Arlen Specter.

    No, wait…

  • Darkness

    ActBlue, take note! Future republicans can be spotted because they have their switching fee listed right there on their website.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Parker Griffith can’t lose?

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    What kind of country club wanker names their asshole kid Parker Griffith?

  • memzilla

    Back in the Cold War days, the KGB never trusted a turncoat, even Kim Philby. They figured that if you were going to be disloyal to the country you were born in, how could you be loyal to anything else?

    Of course, it could be a Democratic ploy to penetrate the inner workings of the House reThuglican leadership. But this would require Democrats with balls and reThuglicans who are leaders, so I guess not…

  • DangerousLiberal

    Like water, asshats also find their own level.

  • DangerousLiberal

    Also, big props to Citibank for offering to turn my money into rupees, also. WTF?

  • FMA

    So he’s a Republican trapped in a Democrat’s body?
    Is this kind of thing covered in the House health-care reform deal?

  • tygzbg1

    Doesn’t matter, Dems still have a major lead in House. Call it a trade for NY 23.

  • Gopherit

    That is one seriously repressed, fat, white guy. I bet he has a closet full of neoprene suits and dildoes.

    Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

  • JMP

    Mr. Twolastnames, you do realize that it wasn’t the Democrats who were disrupting the townhall meetings by screaming “Nazi!” last summer, don’t you?

    Also, have you paid attention to what’s happening in your own House? “He added that if the Democratic leadership wouldn’t commit to working in a more bipartisan manner, “perhaps we should look at altering that.”.” Uh, it’s kind of hard to work in a bipartisan manner when the other party refuses to do anything but obstruct.

  • Prommie

    Whats an “Alabama Democrat?” I thought that meant “republican” anyway?

  • nbawriter

    [re=483661]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: I think the answer is “All of them(?)”

  • Katydid

    Hmmm….he’s another Republican “doctor” who is fighting against health care reform, has a cancer treatment center, which are well-known ripoffs and money-making schemes anyway, and it’s been alleged that he deliberately underdosed cancer patients to save money.

    Sounds like a Republican healthcare expert to me.

    If only he were an OB-GYN. Why would any woman in her right mind spread her legs for Tom Coburn, btw? (It is Coburn, right?) I’d as soon as have a cabdriver deliver my kid, and I’m not kidding.

  • Aflac Shrugged

    [re=483665]FMA[/re]: It’s much less involved than sex-reassignment surgery. They just take the balls and give them to a CEO for safekeeping.

  • magic titty

    Alabama is still around? Whatever.

  • Larry McAwful

    This is a coup? Griffith has voted against every major vote the Democrats have had, from the stimulus to health care. That’s kind of like saying it’s a “coup” to get a rabid dog to bite you a little more gently.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    with apologies to whomever, the collective IQ of both parties just shot up.

  • JMP

    [re=483664]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Well, how else are you going to upgrade to the Bigger Bomb Bag and fill your jars with a good supply of Red Potions?

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    He blamed the town halls on Democrats? Huh.

  • Crow T. Robot

    Does this mean we can spend any less time kissing Joe L.’s skinny, wrinkly ass?

    I sorta doubt it.

  • ph7

    Time to cancel the subscription to The Worker.

  • Snarko Marx

    The only reason any of these blue dog deep south “democratic” politicians aren’t members of the republican party from the start is because that’s the party Abe Lincoln was in and they grew up listening to their grandpappy spew venom against him along with the tobacco juice.

  • Larry McAwful

    [re=483678]JMP[/re]: For the record, I just got the Green Ring last week. I now have 63 rings, and expect to get the Level-3 Armor Ring very soon. Then I’ll have all 64, and I can put this stupid game down forever.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=483668]JMP[/re]: When he heard them screaming “Nazi” he got special feelings, down there, where there have been no feelings for many years. He’s just hoping it will happen again.

  • mookworthjwilson

    little boy related scandal in 3, 2, 1…

  • kentuckienne2

    With a name like Parker Griffith, how the hell was he not a Republican from birth?

  • thefrontpage

    Parker Griffith should change his name while he’s at it.

    Really–what a crappy move by a U.S. Representative, at this particular time.

    Guys like this need to be tied down in the basement of the C Street house (safely, that is) for some lengthy dungeon time with John Ensign, Don Sherwood, Mark Foley and William Jefferson.

  • doxastic

    All the necessary conditions for a Michael Steele Perfect Shit-Storm are in place. We have a cold low-pressure scandal combining with hot air from the south.

  • TGY

    Is that like a Democrat with more duct tape?

  • thefrontpage

    [re=483691]doxastic[/re]: Excellent. Very good.

  • chaste everywhere

    [re=483665]FMA[/re]: He’s a power forward trapped in a point guard’s body. No, wait, he’s a lesbian nun trapped in the body of a priest . . . Umm, an asshole trapped in the asshole of an asshole? Got it!

  • germansteel

    Does he mean he’s going to change, now, and vote sometimes with the Democrats (as a Republican) when he says it’s time to alter the partisan voting that has been happening in Congress?

    Anybody who blames the Dems for the town hall craziness is moranic enough to not notice that a lot more Democrats have crossed the aisle than the other way around.

  • JMP

    [re=483676]Larry McAwful[/re]: And it looks like he really just changed parties because he thought he was going to lose in 2010. No great loss.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    Don’t let the door hit you on the ass, you no good punk. Real Americans still hate you anyway.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    The house pages are always sweeter on the other side of the fence.

  • Joshua Norton

    He obviously realized that the only way to have influence over the current crop of Dems was to be a bigmouth Repug.

    Whenever the new majority gets yelled at and spoke mean to, most of them crumble like a $2 umbrella in a tsunami and go running to “Meet the Press” to tongue-kiss what ever group of wingnutz have been assembled that week.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Ironically, a National Republican Congressional Committee spokesman called Griffith a “woefully ineffective advocate for Tennessee Valley jobs” after the decision was announced in September.

    Well if he can’t create jobs, has bucked the trend of successful legislation and regularly works with cancer, then he’s perfect Republican material. It’s weird watching a rat leave a ship that’s just been refloated, but hell — being out of power will give him more time on the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail and those nice sugar-white beaches.

  • elburrito

    Your loss, dick! is going to find a committed progressive to take that seat back in 2010!

  • thesheriffisnear

    The whole state of Alabama looks like this guy; except the womenfolk and the Black people,also.

  • Larry McAwful

    [re=483701]JMP[/re]: Quite right. There were three Republicans already engaged in a primary to run against Parker Lewis Griffith. I bet they’re going to be mad. I hope they continue with the primary, anyway. There’s no way a Democrat will win this one, but seeing four Alabama Republicans beat up on each other over a heavily Republican seat is toward the top of my Christmas wish list.

  • JadedDIssonance

    We think he was ‘outed’ for political reasons.

  • Schmegeg

    All that Courtin’ the Republicans did to woo this guy, and it was the Christmas Card from Michael Steele that closed the deal.

  • Gopherit

    Hahaha! The republicans are cowards! Where’s your Baby Jesus now, Coburn?!!

  • S.Luggo

    Griffith’s first step as a Republican will be to seek funds for the demolition of the Heller Keller Home in Tuscumbia, Alabama. “No use coddling these people,” said Griffith. “That’s damn good land going to waste.”

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=483711]Larry McAwful[/re]: But “politicoe” did mark the fact that this district was heavily democrat….as far as we trust that nadir of political bellweathers.

  • Cape Clod

    I can’t wait for the teabaggers to announce that he isn’t ideologically ‘pure’ enough and he gets primaried out of politics by some neanderthal wingnut.

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=483719]Gopherit[/re]: It annoys me that Republicans celebrate Christmas.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=483676]Larry McAwful[/re]: This is a coup? Griffith has voted against every major vote the Democrats have had, from the stimulus to health care. That’s kind of like saying it’s a “coup” to get a rabid dog to bite you a little more gently.

    Allow me to tinker with your analogy: The rabid dog is still biting you, but he’s not your dog anymore; he ran away to stay with the neighbors you hate.

    Also Democrat from Alabama? WTF year does this guy thing it is 1930?

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=483709]elburrito[/re]: Muhammed Gonzalez a gay muslim interior decorator is on the short list i hear….

  • Larry McAwful

    [re=483722]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Yeah, but you need to understand Politico’s methodology. What they mean by “heavily Democrat” is that all fifteen of the Democrats in Alabama’s fifth district are overweight.

    Maybe Politico’s facts are convoluted, but the stuff they post is only 96% made up, give or take 4%.

  • Joshua Norton

    “Democrat from Alabama” is just another way of saying “Republican”.

  • snideinplainsight

    His real name is Parker Lewis Downey Grover Millard Milford D.W. Griffith, but that wouldn’t fit on the campaign posters.

  • snideinplainsight

    But his new repub-sub name will just be “Scootie”.

  • JMP

    [re=483722]JadedDIssonance[/re]: A heavily Democratic district . . . that went for McCain 61% last year. I think those people are called “Dixiecrats,” AKA racists who still hate Lincoln too much to switch to their home party.

    [re=483719]Gopherit[/re]: But according to the Washington Post, it’s all that mean Harry Reid’s fault. Of course, Coburn’s hoping that each extra day they delay could be the day Byrd dies.

  • Larry McAwful

    The Republicans have already pointed out that Griffith is a dupe for radical Islam and will found Al Qaeda in Decatur once he gets reëlected, as this ad demonstrates:

  • Larry McAwful

    [re=483727]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I like that better. Pets and their owners often take after each other, anyway.

  • the problem child

    I’m thinking a few of those lefty PACs that have been supporting his re-election might want their money back.

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    Door…meet ass.

  • WadISay

    [re=483723]Cape Clod[/re]: Oh, wait no longer, this is already happening (see TPM). Erik bin Erik at Redstate wants a “real Republican” to run next year. Griffith will learn that, if you board the train to Crazytown, you should plan to stay on until the last stop.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=483743]WadISay[/re]: I guess a rerun of NY 23 is too much to hope for.

  • hedgehog

    I guess he got tired of Barney Frank’s repeated attempts to “caucus” with him.

  • Joey Ratz

    I don’t get it. Seriously. If he was a senator, this would have been a “coup”, but he’s the most junior congresscreature from Alabama, and the Dems still have a substantial majority in the House. It changes nothing. WTF is Politico on?

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=483723]Cape Clod[/re]: The teabaggers HAVE already announced that Parker Griffith isn’t ideologically pure enough. Erick Erickson wrote in Red State, “We will not fix the GOP’s problems if we keep allowing people who are not one of us to suddenly switch the letter next to their name and magically become one of us.” In other words, you can have a wanker name and vote straight Republican, but you aren’t really “one of us” until you molest a Congressional page.

  • Decker

    Way to shore up your Southern base, GOP. Alabama was in real danger of slipping away.

  • mumblyjoe

    Douchebag switches party for incoherent reasons. Where have I seen this before?

    Wait, no, that’s not fair. Specter actually was pretty forthcoming that he was switching parties because he didn’t want to get challenged from the right. This guy’s just a douchebag.

  • Cape Clod

    [re=483743]WadISay[/re]: [re=483756]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Good riddence to bad rubbish, or perhaps we should say kharma is a bitch.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    [re=483752]Joey Ratz[/re]: The guy voted against the Democrats on nearly every issue, while complaining that it was Pelosi’s fault the GOP were acting like full-time dicks. So the Republicans get another pasty, silver haired congressman from the deep south, big whuup.

  • Escape Goat Nation

    Was there a famous Confederate Civil War named Parker?

  • Escape Goat Nation

    oops, Civil War General.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=483723]Cape Clod[/re]: For starters, Parker Parker is a friend of Islamo-Fascists:

  • Joey Ratz

    [re=483772]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Nonono – I get why he’s switching parties (that Pelosi mental health joke was a real gem, wasn’t it?). What I don’t get is why Politico thinks this is a big deal.

  • the problem child
  • BeWoot

    [re=483752]Joey Ratz[/re]: Why do you think they call it dope?

  • TGY

    [re=483752]Joey Ratz[/re]: Maybe they mean ‘coup’ as in ‘chicken’.

  • JMP

    [re=483783]Joey Ratz[/re]: It’s the Politico. For them, everything is good news for Republicans; so when something happens that actually is good for Republicans, no matter how marginal, it’s a huge deal.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    Solution: let the teabaggers run their segregationist libertarian foil-hatter on Parker Wankroft Barnes VI’s right hand side, Constitution Party or whatever. Run a plausible, responsible, no-risk female Democrat against both of them. Who wins in a three-way fuckfest in Alabama? America does.

  • Extemporanus

    Is he a Family guy?

  • S.Luggo


    He hates the sicks.

  • An Outhouse

    Tired of being a top? The bottom is always hiring.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=483661]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Well, when the nurse dropped Parker on his head shortly after birth, it was clear his disability would limit career possibilities. So at that point, it came down to a coin flip to choose between “Parker” and “Valet.”

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=483797]JMP[/re]: That sound you hear is a 100 pundits furiously pounding on their keyboards a column saying that it’s bad news for Obama and that it’s proof that the Democrats are too partisan and too liberal and that voters will punish them in 2010 for making those poor Republicans have to filibuster everything

  • Extemporanus

    [re=483837]S.Luggo[/re]: Oh, thank god!

    I thought his last name was Griffin.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=483719]Gopherit[/re]: BREAKING! Indeed, they are a bunch of fairies who, rather than fight, would rather race home for Xmas to see the abject horror on the faces of their small children when they unwrap their only gift under the tree: a copy of Atlas Shrugged.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    [re=483783]Joey Ratz[/re]: Someone needs to win the afternoon.

  • Dolmance

    He thinks switching is a good move, in a region that hasn’t had a Republican representing them since before they transformed into swine?

    This guy might have a few screws loose. Because it’s like the political equivalent of a pollack joke.

  • doxastic

    [re=483723]Cape Clod[/re]: Didn’t have to wait long. RedState and Club for Growth ain’t having it, and at least one of his Republican primary counterparts isn’t giving in. Hope you like that revenge very very very cold, Rep. Country Club Name.

  • Mr Blifil

    See, turns out he doesn’t love the negro after all. Them folks back home wuz worng.

  • El Pinche

    More of these blue dog dems should do the same.

  • Potater