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UR DOING IT WRONG.
A super-angry teabagger sent four hand-scrawled pages, including this one, to a House office today — all fed into the fax machine upside down, but thanks to extremely crazy pressure on the Sharpie, we can read the whole message backwards!

Thanks to Wonkette Operative “B.M.” for sending over the evidence. Get your wingnut-decoder ring ready, because the rest of the pages are here. (Hint: They just say the same thing over and over again. WE WILL VOTE YOU OUT!!!)

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144 COMMENTS

  1. [re=483351]memzilla[/re]: Payson, Arizona, to be exact.

    Also:

    “Zane Grey Country” is a term for the area around Payson, Arizona…In recent times it has fallen somewhat out of favor, as the term “Rim Country” has become more popular among locals. Another popular description for the demography of Payson is “Fun loving people!”.

  2. [re=483357]Extemporanus[/re]: “Rim Country.” Bwahahahahaha! Oh that has to be teabagger central – only a teabagger could proudly coin that nickname and use it for months and months, completely oblivious to the hysterical laughter surrounding its usage.

  3. [re=483357]Extemporanus[/re]: Payson lies on one of two routes between Show Lo and Phoenix–the BORING one. The other route contains the Salt River Canyon, which is a national treasure. It’s like the Grand Canyon, but with trees. Even my two-year-old was dumbfounded when she saw it. Payson is a shit stain on an otherwise beautiful eastern-one-third of a state.

    No wonder.

  4. [re=483362]Darkness[/re]: A scramble is a way to get out of work, play crappy golf and drink heavily while thinking you are helping some people. The fact is, though, that such events cost so much to put on that hardly any money is raised for charity. So Tea Partiers should be encouraged to keep doing this sort of behavior, by all means.

  5. This is sort of sad. A cry for help, if you will, by a desperate individual who has reached the end of his rope.

    Ahh fuck it, someone kick this fucker under the bus and put him out of my misery.

  6. [re=483358]BeWoot[/re]: There are a total of 2,050 active “928-472-XXXX” phone and fax numbers.

    With 10,000 possible combinations for the unknown last 4 digits, I estimate that crowdsourced calling and an informed analysis of numbers resulting in fax feedback should enable us to definitively ascertain the sender’s identity by mid-morning tomorrow.

    Though I’m already 99% sure that his name is George.

  7. Failure to redact completely…whoopsie!

    [Redacted again! Your editor is the one who failed to redact enough, so your editor will try again … because it is IMPORTANT that Wonkette readers not act like, say, those goofy wingnuts who post the work phone number of anyone who disagrees with them. — Ed.]

  8. Ah, the vote hate crimes gambit — a refreshing bit of honest racism amongst all the couched racism. Or maybe the pony express is late with the memo.

  9. [re=483356]Ken Layne[/re]: Seems more like something WALNUTS! would do, but of course he only goes to Arizona about once a year ….

    Yeah, but he drops by a Kinko’s every time. Anyone know where he is right now?

  10. [re=483381]Extemporanus[/re]: Really? George wouldn’t know how to use a fax machine, being in the printing business and all? Well, maybe not, if he didn’t want his assistant to see what he was faxing…

  11. [re=483381]Extemporanus[/re]: As a career programmer who stares at numbers all day, I can’t help but notice the inconsistent redaction, which gives you the 4th from last digit: a 9. Does that help?

  12. [re=483373]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Well, that’s too bad. I was already planning out my own version, which would involve cleaning my kitchen floor until you can eat off it, a putting competition, and it all ends with some tasty omelets. Of course, if drinking is a must, I’m sure I can whip up something morning-appropriate like Bloody Marys blended from fire roasted tomatoes.

  13. [re=483349]notanaturalblonde[/re]: At my office we all bring our best complaint to the weekly staff meeting to share with the group. And people say government employees aren’t productive.

  14. ‘Sok. Michael “Lex” Steele has already said that Senate flipped the bird to Murrika by passing the health bill. Harry Reid responded by meekly nodding his head and running off to sob into his blanket.

  15. [re=483429]give us a bob[/re]: Dude, how the fuck did you do that? I went to view source . . . and view source is upside down! This is gotta be one of the seven signs of the MS apocalypse, along with Linus’ birth and Google apps.

  16. [re=483395]schvitzatura[/re]: Feel bad, not you should. My previous, temporarily published outings of wingtards’ contact details, accomplished with publicly available information, have been more than once redacted by the Estimable Layne.

    His stated explanation was that Wonkette should not emulate the Methods of Malkin. I admit to having been so wanting to humiliate wingtards that I had not considered the hateful comparison, and reluctantly agreed to censor myself. Also, I would not be the one who would have to pay a raft of attorneys in the event of a lawsuit.

    [Is “raft of attorneys” the correct expression? I would prefer “piranha-infested, remotely-detonable-mined leaky raft full of attorneys with its sea-cocks open,” but that is too long.]

  17. [re=483429]give us a bob[/re]: AGH, how the hell did you do that? (WHAT IS THE CODE?)

    [re=483443]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: and why is yours in … pig latin?

    [re=483441]memzilla[/re]: Exactly.

  18. [re=483356]Ken Layne[/re]: Agreed, and in fairness to the estimable Meg McCabe, while she might accidentally send a fax backward, upside down or into the paper shredder, she would have better handwriting, I would think. Rich girls usually do. This has old-man-hands written all over it. Also, literally.

    [re=483378]x111e7thst[/re]: Death panel!

  19. Look, I’m okay with all these signs of the apocalypse, but could you at least wait until bowl season is overwith? I need to know which college team is the best…

  20. [re=483468]hotdog[/re]: Let me explain: Newell jokingly referred to Byrd as being 107 years old. I played off that, and imagined what sort of prayer Coburn would pray in order to snuff Byrd. If my joke had anything at all to do with that nice 107 year old ladies passing, I would like to offer my sincere apologies.

  21. [re=483473]Politicartoons[/re]: I suspect the tea most of these fools are most familiar with is sweet tea, since they are all seem to be hopped up white people and mainly from the South and Midwest. Sweet tea is not a zen, green tea type experience – more like mainlining caffeine and sugar together. Definitely gross enough to make you jittery, anxious and with unfocused rage issues. Not to mention give you instant diabetes (especially when served in a jumbo 44 oz McDonald’s cup along with a McRib and large fries).

  22. [re=483475]Dolmance[/re]: And accepted as a most obdeient servant in Rand Paul’s campaign to capture of a US Senate seat by the will of Baal.

    [re=483482]bago[/re]: Unicorn.

  23. [re=483361]ManchuCandidate[/re]: !TIMMAD ,YAD NOITCELE NO EREHT MIH GNIRB LLIW VTA YTARPAET LAICIFFO EHT ZUCEB (atv’s so we don’t use those socialist guvment roads)…. oh wait that would assume consistent thought in any direction other than catastrophism & apocalypse when the dems are in power…

  24. [re=483489]grevillea[/re]: “More news from the Rim Country — Payson must get ‘funky’ to prosper…”

    Jesus H. Christ on a crutch! All I could think of reading that was Hunter Thompson’s description of Circus-Circus as “…what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war.”

    Except that I have a hard time imagining even Nazis slumming in Payson.

  25. [re=483412]the problem child[/re]: It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own fax. But that’s not the case anymore. Faxes matter not at all. Perception is everything.

    [re=483421]Darkness[/re]: Thank you, indeed it does.

    I noticed that shifty little “9” as well, albeit at the last minute. However, due to the fact that math is hard and I am lazy, I opted to shamefully look the other way and submit my comment as is.

    Thank gog for that! Had I valued accuracy over expediency, I might’ve run afoul of Mr. Layne’s [re=483395]highly sensible redaction edict.[/re]

    [re=483430]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: *rimshot!*

    [re=483429]give us a bob[/re]: I love you Miss Ross!

    [re=483496]tbogg[/re]: It’s an excerpt from his soon-to-be published memoir, True Girt.

  26. Well, I suppose it’s high time I finally came clean and divulged the name of the despicable individual responsible for this morally reprehensible fax of terrorism. To most of you, their identity will likely come as little to no surprise:

    Nigerian Business Executive!

    As evidence, please allow me to submit a brief sampling of judiciously redacted comments that the Nigerian and I exchanged on the “Rand Paul” post from last Friday:

    Exhibit A: Extemporanus says at 7:51 pm, December 18th, 2009

    user-of-owls: Nigerian Business Executive:

    NIgerian BUSiness execUTIVe rEVOLution!

    Exhibit B: Nigerian Business Executive says at 8:00 pm, December 18th, 2009

    Extemporanus: NIBUSUTIVEVOL!!!!!! YEAH!!!!! ALSO!!!!!

    Exhibit C: Extemporanus says at 8:27 pm, December 18th, 2009

    Nigerian Business Executive: Stop trying to distract everyone with capital letters and excessive punctuation!

    Everybody knows that you LOVE the VITU SUB-IN!

    Exhibit D: Extemporanus says at 9:03 pm, December 18th, 2009

    Nigerian Business Executive: From the Wiki linki:

    “Wituland (also Witu, Vitu, Witu Protectorate or Swahililand) was an approximately 3000 km² territory in East Africa centered on the town of Witu just inland from Indian Ocean port of Lamu north of the mouth of the Tana River in what is now Kenya.”

    DUHN-duhn-DUUUHHHN!

    Exhibit E: Nigerian Business Executive says at 9:08 pm, December 18th, 2009

    Extemporanus: You’re saying there’s some sort of conspiracy here and I’m with you 193%! Relovevolution!

    Exhibit F: Extemporanus says at 11:31 pm, December 18th, 2009

    noituLOVEr eVITUcexe sseniSUB-nairegIN: Only two more steps to go! YAY!!

    I rest my fucking case.

  27. ˙ʇɐǝɹƃ sı ɥɐllɐ

    ˙lǝɐɹsı oʇ ɥʇɐǝp

    ˙ɐɔıɹǝɯɐ oʇ ɥʇɐǝp

    ¿pıɐɹɟɐ noʎ ǝɹɐ

    ˙ʍou ǝıp noʎ

    ˙xɐɹɥʇuɐ sıɥʇ ǝʌɐɥ ǝʍ

    ˙sn doʇs ʇou uɐɔ noʎ

    ⇂0-⇂⇂-60

  28. So the most interesting thing about flip text generators is that if you enter “ʇxǝʇ pǝddılɟ” you get back “flipped text”. And that’s not very interesting.

  29. [re=483381]Extemporanus[/re]: Doubtful that it’s George. It’s a plain and simple website, but there aren’t lots of misspellings or broken links. Look for the website with the “Under Construction!!!” logos with the little guy digging, and PLENTY of oDDly capitalized WORDS and uNeccesARY boLD and ITALic. That website, on the other hand, is simple but mostly right.

  30. [re=483504]Extemporanus[/re]: You think you’re so smart. But here’s the flaw in your plan. I dot all my “i”s with a heart, lower case and upper case. You see any hearts on that fax, genius? Well do you?

    Plus, I haven’t been to Arizona since I was five, but I heat it’s really pretty in some places. Maybe I should go back.

  31. That can still be useful. (Sampler’s channel board says “3654 monotone wind” and “3643 underground bunker wind” while I dream within a dream of sleeping within a wintry planet.)

  32. [re=483357]Extemporanus[/re]: Yeah. all 928 numbers are stictly hicksville in AZ, and that’s saying something. No wonder they had no idea how to use a fax….indoor plumbing is likely a miracle to them.

  33. I used to work for an environmental advocacy org in Utah, and we had a special wall devoted to our hate mail, death threats, etc. My personal favorite was in response to an email alert we sent out about the Endangered Species Act, and one return email said, in its entirety: “Screw You. I hope An Bear bite you head off.”

  34. [re=483907]BobTheBuilder[/re]: …quietly weeping tears of sawdust and resin. “Why,” it sobs, “Why after all I’ve been through would he do this to me? I was a tree once. Noble, free. Then came the saws…the terrible, terrible saws. Of the chipper, I can say nothing, for if you’ve not known its shattering horror, descriptions are meaningless.” The table paused, trying to gain some semblance of composure. “And then what was left of me was violated by the petrochemicals, by the most unnatural rapists a member of my kind can be subjected to.” Shaking, now, it wailed, its cries no less rending than the ululations of oriental widows in their dark veils. “Black marker! Defaced, scarred…DEFAMED in black marker by an idiot!” Wracked with grief and self-pity, she rocked back and forth. I had not the heart to inform her of the last, most hideous insult: he faxed it upside down.

  35. Fax 1

    Stop the Reid bill or we will vote you out too!!!

    american Tea Party
    —-
    Fax 2

    Healthcare: You vot for it we will vote you out, republicans, democrats or independents

    The American tea party
    ——

    Fax 3

    Amnesty bill for illegal immigrants we will vote you next election

    The american tea party

    ———–

    Fax 4

    Vote heathcare
    Vote cap n’ trade
    Vote Hate Crimes
    Vote spending
    Vote illegal immgration
    AND
    We will vote you out

    ——————

    Ok now I feel dirty

  36. [re=483357]Extemporanus[/re]:
    Crikey – I thought you meant that Zane Grey Cuntry was affectionately* called Rim Country” by what I gathered was a community popular with Teh Fun Lovin’ People! As in “happy and geigh.”

    So I looked to see if there were any local boites called, “The Bear Hug” or something and instead:
    http://www.zanegreycabin.org/

    The Zane Grey “Log” Cabin organisation. Judging from the photo, Charleton Heston is their lord and saviour.
    Oh – and the high tech graphics let you know that they want to preserve their clubhouse which was destroyrd in(wait for it) the great Dude Fire of 1990.
    yee- HAW!

    bonus gpx fun: the “mouse” amination on LL. Fun Lovin’!

  37. I’ve been to Payson. My mother lived there briefly. It was a huge mistake. She cried until she sold that place and moved away. There are huge wingnut billboards everywhere you look ruining the view, howling about EnvironMENTALS. The only thing to do there is to go to the local casino filled with elderly wing nut people smoking and drug dealers. Thank God she didn’t have to die there.

  38. I stood on my head at the bus station and said the backward fax 3 times out loud.
    I saw the ghost of Strom Thurmond & his black teenaged Mammy for a brief second before the nightstick hit me across the head and I blacked out.
    Let this be a warning: Only Obama is allowed to practice voo doo in Arizona.

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