CAPTION CONTEST  5:04 pm December 21, 2009

Look, It’s Atheist Santa Clause

by Jim Newell

Wonkette operative “Rob J.” sends us this pic of a Real American he saw at L’Enfant Plaza today, making some point about the Blacks and their long history of enslaving others. What a horrible misspelling of that one country’s name! There are two g’s, idiot.

 
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{ 155 comments }

Extemporanus December 21, 2009 at 5:08 pm

SERFS UP DUDE!

El Pinche December 21, 2009 at 5:08 pm

His shirt = The Constitution
God Bless this Patridiot.

SmutBoffin December 21, 2009 at 5:08 pm

So…this Parallel-Universe-Santa will bring you slaves for Christmas?

Gopherit December 21, 2009 at 5:08 pm

He looks like he’d make a lousy slave.

gurukalehuru December 21, 2009 at 5:08 pm

Mauitania must be somewhere in the Soviet Socialist Republic of Hawaii. Kenya dig it?

thehelveticascenario December 21, 2009 at 5:08 pm

Well, that shirt has convinced me to vote Republican.

Ducksworthy December 21, 2009 at 5:09 pm

This guys running around DC like this? He must be having some interesting conversations with passersby.

qwerty42 December 21, 2009 at 5:09 pm

does this have a meaning? The folks in Haiti are confederates too? who knew?

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 21, 2009 at 5:10 pm

Dear Editors: I found an error on your site. I do not believe that WordPress can possibly be proud to power Wonkette. Please address this important issue. Thank you. Warm regards.

SayItWithWookies December 21, 2009 at 5:11 pm

“Don’t send me back there!”

Patty Dumpling December 21, 2009 at 5:12 pm

The back says: “Mustache Rides: 25 Cents (NO COLOREDS)”

chascates December 21, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Moran

SayItWithWookies December 21, 2009 at 5:13 pm

[re=483199]gurukalehuru[/re]: And those poor people haven’t had a Luauitania since the Germans sunk it in WWI.

Morbo the Annihilator December 21, 2009 at 5:13 pm

I’m confused. Is this a sort of “let’s re-enslave them before they enslave us” thing?

ForTheTurnstiles December 21, 2009 at 5:14 pm

“I also have some analysis about the Mexicans and the Goddamned Jews!”

geminisunmars December 21, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Hmmmm. New places to consider retiring to. Wonder how the health care is in those locales.

Patty Dumpling December 21, 2009 at 5:18 pm

That’s not a hat, it’s an afro. When will these self hating black albinos stop self hating?

Gopherit December 21, 2009 at 5:19 pm

looking at him I am almost positive that he probably has a slave or two in his basement. Someone dial 911.

El Pinche December 21, 2009 at 5:19 pm

He really really really really wants ACORN to shove snowballs up his ass. If someone else here can somehow connect this to a green balloon reference, then this would complete the topical punch line.

Extemporanus December 21, 2009 at 5:19 pm

WARNING: Do NOT click on TRON GUY! He has been CORRUPTED by HAXTARDZ!!1

Suds McKenzie December 21, 2009 at 5:20 pm

Skoal Rebels Uncle.

Patty Dumpling December 21, 2009 at 5:21 pm

[re=483218]Extemporanus[/re]: SCORE!

SmutBoffin December 21, 2009 at 5:22 pm

He’s wearing this racist-y shirt in DC? Maybe the caption should be “Last known photo”.

sezme December 21, 2009 at 5:22 pm

I went to the Republican National Convention and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

snideinplainsight December 21, 2009 at 5:23 pm

Is that a Terminator in the background about to blow him away?

mookworthjwilson December 21, 2009 at 5:24 pm

So that makes it ok I guess?

S.Luggo December 21, 2009 at 5:24 pm

Hurray! Thank you, John Bolton. And nice fucking hat.

Mauitania: a county in Afica.

lumpenprole December 21, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Everyone else was doing it. It was MY TURN.

Way Cool Larry December 21, 2009 at 5:25 pm

don’t you get it???? since blacks own slaves– we should be able too!!!!!
I’m so voting Republican now!

Snarkalicious December 21, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Hat is stuffed w/tinfoil.

Gorillionaire December 21, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Why is it always some thick neck cracker with some gay-ass moustache? Oh yeah never mind.

CrunchyKnee December 21, 2009 at 5:30 pm

The south will rise again, also, too.

user-of-owls December 21, 2009 at 5:31 pm

You know it’s hard out here for a simp

PrairiePossum December 21, 2009 at 5:31 pm

If the kids in Mauitania, Sudan, Niger and Haiti jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?

user-of-owls December 21, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=483222]SmutBoffin[/re]: Or maybe, “Last Known Photo Taken By Rob J.”

CrunchyKnee December 21, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=483231]Gorillionaire[/re]: “Thick Neck Cracker” is my new band.

SmutBoffin December 21, 2009 at 5:32 pm

“Hilarious and fact-filled…overflowing with…PEE, POO, and FARTS!”

Katydid December 21, 2009 at 5:36 pm

But their slaves are white? Is that his point? Somehow, I don’t think so.

Also, am I giving him too much credit in wondering if the white type on black t-shirt was part of the message?

Don't Mess with Joe December 21, 2009 at 5:37 pm

$100 tons-of-fun couldn’t point to Mauritania, Sudan, Niger, or Sudan on a map.

snideinplainsight December 21, 2009 at 5:40 pm

“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this tiny island a new nation, conceived in coconuts and dedicated to the proposition that all conch shells are created equal.”

Big Daddy Tom December 21, 2009 at 5:41 pm

It’s “Mauritania” not “Mauitania.” That’s two misspellings poophead!

magic titty December 21, 2009 at 5:44 pm

Mauitania…………..

Dear Diorama December 21, 2009 at 5:45 pm

What politician will he be linked to and how soon! Big prizes at stake!

Pilate December 21, 2009 at 5:47 pm

“I guess I’m a racist!”

kewlguy42069 December 21, 2009 at 5:47 pm

Hahaha whats yer fucking point dude

Extemporanus December 21, 2009 at 5:48 pm

[re=483243]snideinplainsight[/re]: “Apart from that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the poi?”

Lascauxcaveman December 21, 2009 at 5:50 pm

Jon Voight has really let himself go…

Gopherit December 21, 2009 at 5:50 pm

[re=483222]SmutBoffin[/re]: I wish he’d been in that snowball fight.

Dumptruck December 21, 2009 at 5:52 pm

That man looks like he plays the title role in the Whitespoloitation film, “Gringo”

ManchuCandidate December 21, 2009 at 5:52 pm

Judging by his shirt, he’s probably extremely upset that blacks can say nigger, too.

the problem child December 21, 2009 at 5:52 pm

Somehow, I doubt he claims to be an atheist, in the real world. But he does believe in Satan Claws!

Gopherit December 21, 2009 at 5:54 pm

[re=483242]Don’t Mess with Joe[/re]: Hell, he probably can’t read his t-shirt.

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 21, 2009 at 5:55 pm

Worst fursuit ever.

phineas_bounderby December 21, 2009 at 5:55 pm

From the likely manner in which “Mauitania” is pronounced (Maw-i-tayna) I can only surmise that this is Elmer Fudd, and that cwazy wabbit dressed him in this t-shirt and abandoned him in DC.

whiskey tango foxtrot December 21, 2009 at 5:56 pm

I know there has to be stupid, but why does it have to hurt so bad?

WadISay December 21, 2009 at 5:56 pm

[re=483199]gurukalehuru[/re]: It’s where Mau-maus live.

OrangeAlert December 21, 2009 at 6:00 pm

That explains that email I got the other day…

“Hello very much I am happuly married banker email you to inform you your Uncle has passed away and you have unclaimed slaves!!1!!one!! Please send wire money of bank to…”

And by the way, the more politically correct spelling is “Niga”, buddy.

user-of-owls December 21, 2009 at 6:01 pm

[re=483252]Extemporanus[/re]: [re=483243]snideinplainsight[/re]: “…and here, children, is a picture of our Founding Father and his wife.

http://heykidscomics.com/blog_04170601.jpg

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 21, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Yup, this is the kinda guy who whispers, “I ain’t a racist, but…”

germansteel December 21, 2009 at 6:07 pm

“John Bolton, on his way to the Current Events Awards Banquet”

Texan Bulldoggette December 21, 2009 at 6:08 pm

This looks suspiciously like the “Get a brain moran” guy.

schvitzatura December 21, 2009 at 6:09 pm

What about Maumauitania?

Mzungu Aende Ulaya — Mwafrika Apate Uhuru?

Pilate December 21, 2009 at 6:12 pm

I love that crazed Middle American stare he’s got. It’s like someone just took his stapler.

rocktonsammy December 21, 2009 at 6:14 pm

On the plus side, he supports health care reform.

Godot December 21, 2009 at 6:15 pm
user-of-owls December 21, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Not to be pedantic…strike that…to be explicitly pedantic…but actually, Haitians (by and large) don’t own slaves, they ARE HELD as slaves, by Dominicans on the sugar plantations. So when he reprints the shirt to fix the Mau Mau Mixup, maybe he can do a back-print that says, “Spics Own Spearchucker Slaves in the Dominican Republic.”

That way, his friends in DC would know just what a sweetie he is coming AND going.

Nigerian Business Executive December 21, 2009 at 6:22 pm

[re=483268]OrangeAlert[/re]: You got my email! Well, what do you think?

I would like you all to know that I do not own slaves, but that I would one day like to have a harem of hot men who think Lady Gaga is ok every once in a while but don’t really get the big deal.

NJB December 21, 2009 at 6:22 pm

[re=483280]rocktonsammy[/re]: It’s ok. He’s with us on everything except the war.

CrunchyKnee December 21, 2009 at 6:23 pm

But dude, what about your DIABEETUS?

Franklin Pierce & Pierce December 21, 2009 at 6:27 pm

We cannot allow a slave gap to exist between us and “Mauitania”!

Rush December 21, 2009 at 6:28 pm

Our species is doomed. (Wonkette, you know this is snark candy don’t you.)

Extemporanus December 21, 2009 at 6:30 pm

[re=483285]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: NIgerian BUSiness execUTIVe rEVOLution!

Long Form Def Certificate December 21, 2009 at 6:30 pm

If they own slaves in Niger, who knows where the lawlessness ends. Maybe Joseph Wilson (the earlier, libtardy one) was wrong, then. Maybe the gov’t in West Africa was shipping Yellowcake to Iraq.

The Huffington Pogue December 21, 2009 at 6:33 pm

Is Rand Paul hosting a DC fundraiser tonight?

AutomaticPilot December 21, 2009 at 6:34 pm

BTW, Mr. Editor: Santa Claus does not have an “e” on the end (although the Atheist Santa Clause just might).

Rotundo December 21, 2009 at 6:37 pm

[re=483201]Ducksworthy[/re]: He need not worry. Anyone crazy enough to wear a shirt saying that in the district wouldn’t be approached by anyone with the possible exception of the district cops or secret service. Anyone with any sense would figure he would be armed and crazy enough to use it with little or no provocation. In short, y’all don’t fuck with crazy unless you have to.

betterDeadThanRed December 21, 2009 at 6:38 pm

I would like to take this guy on a tour of some of the lesser know neighborhoods of Washington DC. You know, the places that are only mentioned in the Post’s “Local” section.

hedgehog December 21, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Of course, given weak economic conditions, most blacks these days are strategically defaulting on their slaves, leaving the keys on the kitchen counter, and renting.

Joey Ratz December 21, 2009 at 6:42 pm

He’s probably got one of these too:

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=7556

Long Form Def Certificate December 21, 2009 at 6:44 pm

First, Yellowcake. Now, slaves. What further evil lurks in the cold, black heart of Darkest Africa?

user-of-owls December 21, 2009 at 6:45 pm

[re=483299]Rotundo[/re]: Especially not with snowballs.

thatonegirlsays December 21, 2009 at 6:46 pm

Wait, is it supposed to be Mauitania? Like Maui? I don’t need to give him that much credit.

Keram2 December 21, 2009 at 6:46 pm

Oh GODDAMNIT Grandpa. Who let you out of the house?

user-of-owls December 21, 2009 at 6:50 pm

[re=483295]Extemporanus[/re]: You realize, of course, that we already have a copy of your Enigma machine, do you not?

Mustang December 21, 2009 at 6:50 pm

and all I got was this lousy t-shirt?

Dave J. December 21, 2009 at 6:52 pm

Points off for not including a Tiger Woods reference in this very topical shirt.

Darkness December 21, 2009 at 6:53 pm

This is a good place for my favorite phrase: “Probably true, but definitely irrelevant.”

Bowdoin December 21, 2009 at 6:55 pm

Y[re=483260]Gopherit[/re]: eah, and he misseed “Montana” too.

Mr Blifil December 21, 2009 at 6:55 pm

When do we get to see the picture of this obnoxious white jerk having the shit beat out of him by powerfully muscular young African-Americans? The last thing I would wear at L’Enfant Plaza would be any t-shirt that included ANY word beginning with “n.”

SmutBoffin December 21, 2009 at 6:55 pm

[re=483303]Joey Ratz[/re]: Ha! There you see it, ladies and gentlemen, “The Master Race”.

zhubajie December 21, 2009 at 6:59 pm

I don’t know about Santa Claus, but St. Nicholas used to have a black slave, Black Peter, who would beat the bad children.

GreatSatan December 21, 2009 at 7:02 pm

I think you all are being too hard on weird, Confederate Martin Mull. His Union counterpart has had so much more success, and now this is the only job he can get, provoking teh Kenyans in exchange for, what? Pesos? Canadian money? This is what the OBAMA ECONOMY has brought us to.

edgydrifter December 21, 2009 at 7:02 pm

That’s the face of a man who’s just realized he got off at the wrong metro station, and now he’s going to die.

maven December 21, 2009 at 7:03 pm

[re=483211]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Those messages are printed on his underpants.

hedgehog December 21, 2009 at 7:05 pm

The U.N. Tourism Board came to regret going with the low bidder on its new advertising campaign.

user-of-owls December 21, 2009 at 7:05 pm

[re=483317]Mr Blifil[/re]: So when you’re down at Baby Plaza, you’re strictly an Adidas guy?

GeneralLerong December 21, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Haiti? HAITI?!? THIS Haiti?

“It was the first independent nation in Latin America, the first post-colonial independent Black-led nation in the world, and the only nation whose independence was gained as part of a successful slave rebellion.”

My my, how times have changed. Well, now that I know there’s a source of supply in this hemisphere, I’ll just cancel that next jaunt to Morocco…

Dashboard_Buddha December 21, 2009 at 7:14 pm

[re=483201]Ducksworthy[/re]: Was he even able to leave the plaza under his own power?

Darkness December 21, 2009 at 7:15 pm

Hey, crazy uncle phil, who said black people were better than white people? no one, that’s who. your fucked up little brain leaped to that conclusion as soon as someone uttered the words, black people are human. Seek therapy, dude.

imissopus December 21, 2009 at 7:18 pm

Mom?

zhubajie December 21, 2009 at 7:21 pm

[re=483210]Morbo the Annihilator[/re]: Did you ever doubt that conservatives wanted slaves again?

Escape Goat Nation December 21, 2009 at 7:21 pm

In bed.

Extemporanus December 21, 2009 at 7:27 pm

[re=483309]user-of-owls[/re]: Who you callin’ eNIGma, cracker?

zhubajie December 21, 2009 at 7:27 pm

[re=483229]Snarkalicious[/re]: tinfoil hats only concentrate the rays, unless grounded!

user-of-owls December 21, 2009 at 7:41 pm

[re=483335]Extemporanus[/re]: Yo enigMAMA, dats who!

trondant December 21, 2009 at 7:46 pm

[re=483218]Extemporanus[/re]: That’s Tron Guy. He fights for the users leftovers.

desertwind December 21, 2009 at 7:47 pm

Shouldn’t there be a teabag hanging off that moustache?

zhubajie December 21, 2009 at 7:47 pm

[re=483332]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Yes, of course. Half the fun of owning slaves was f*cking them whenever you felt like it. That’s why Black Americans often aren’t very black. (I suspect, too, a lot of Southern Whites are only “Jamaica White,” if you know what I mean.)

BigDupa December 21, 2009 at 7:54 pm

Nice to see Captain Kangagroo again.

geminisunmars December 21, 2009 at 7:54 pm

He forgot the “just saying” addendum.

Hedley Lamar December 21, 2009 at 7:55 pm

Boy, John Bolton has really let himself go since the UN gig ended.

GeneralLerong December 21, 2009 at 7:55 pm

Hmmmm…wear a t-shirt, or do this:

http://www.restavekfreedom.org/

Decisions, decisions…

rocktonsammy December 21, 2009 at 8:02 pm

Its Tony Clifton!!!

President Beeblebrox December 21, 2009 at 8:05 pm

[re=483201]Ducksworthy[/re]: Yeah, I was thinking he should take the Green Line down to Southeast and wear that patriotic, Eagle Tear-washed T-shirt all around the place. That’ll go over real well!

Pop Socket December 21, 2009 at 8:13 pm

[re=483311]Dave J.[/re]: That was the Maui-tania part. People born in Hawaii are Muslim slave owners too.

BeWoot December 21, 2009 at 8:19 pm

[re=483342]zhubajie[/re]: Jamaican that up, tan boy.

Paul Tardy December 21, 2009 at 8:24 pm

Why am I feeling that guy is living off a government pension?

doxastic December 21, 2009 at 8:32 pm

This guy thinks the usual conservative “you’re racist for calling me a racist” argument is for pussies. He’s going straight for WHY DO BLACK PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT SLAVERY IF THEY LOVE ENSLAVING SO MUCH?!

biggiantannoyingthing December 21, 2009 at 8:41 pm

Needs more bling. http://tinyurl.com/ycco8ju

Lawndarts December 21, 2009 at 8:48 pm

How can he be a “Real American” and an atheist?

Lee Hussein Oswald December 21, 2009 at 8:49 pm

[re=483336]zhubajie[/re]: Nope. Even when grounded.

Up To Here Again December 21, 2009 at 9:04 pm

Wal Mart owns slaves HERE

limepez December 21, 2009 at 9:08 pm

That guy scared the shit out of me. I ran right after I took it. Did NOT want to be associated with him.

limepez December 21, 2009 at 9:10 pm

Also, the same thing was written on his back.

nbawriter December 21, 2009 at 9:20 pm

Why does he Haiti Nigers, Mauitania?

Hunger Tallest Palin December 21, 2009 at 9:38 pm

Take note other cities. D.C’s crazy people are so classy they get their deranged gibberish printed on t-shirts.

Serolf Divad December 21, 2009 at 9:41 pm

Aren’t we all Barack Obama’s white slaves now that Death Panels are law?* Shouldn’t the U.S. be added to that list?

*Nonwhites excepted.

Mr Blifil December 21, 2009 at 10:09 pm

[re=483325]user-of-owls[/re]: When in Rome…

d4g33z December 21, 2009 at 10:24 pm

Which district does he represent?

hotdog December 21, 2009 at 10:32 pm

Despite the misspellings, this t-shirt is brilliant. The subtle message is that Bush was a hypocrite for invading the non-slaveholding country of Iraq, while making no effort to change the regimes of the four enumerated slaveholding countries. Either that, or it’s totally incoherent.

Mike Steele December 21, 2009 at 10:55 pm

[re=483223]sezme[/re]: WIN!!!

Mike Steele December 21, 2009 at 10:57 pm

I’m going to ty to ignoe that pick.

oldguy December 21, 2009 at 11:08 pm

[re=483425]hotdog[/re]: And we might have had a chance of beating one or two of them. And what about Grenada, the Pakistan of the Caribbean?

assistant/atlas December 21, 2009 at 11:17 pm

Dear African-Americans and Black people:
Please don’t think we don’t hate crackers like this almost as much as you do.

This moment in racial transcendencyness brought to you by Santa. Merry Xmas! Drink!

Dolmance December 22, 2009 at 12:17 am

[re=483206]Patty Dumpling[/re]: Some of us can remember when things really were like that, back in the bad old days.

Jim89048 December 22, 2009 at 12:31 am

I think HP must be a Mauitanian corporation.

S.Luggo December 22, 2009 at 12:39 am
Neilist December 22, 2009 at 12:45 am

I don’t want to ruin my reputation by appearing to get all “United Nations” or “It’s A Small World After All” on you. But I have to say, a picture like this warms the cockles of my heart. It proves that, regardless of the things that tend to keep groups of people apart — e.g., race, ethnicity, religion, politics, gender, gender preference — we all have something in common.

Whatever group of humanity may be in question: There is some substantial percentage of people in it walking around wearing “Shoot Me!” signs.

First the white yuppies throwning snowballs at in irate black DC Metro cop with his gun out. Now John Bolton re-enacting the Harlem “I Hate Niggers” sign scene from “Die Hard 3.”

Ah, so many targets. So little time. And the price of ammunition just keeps going up.

Thank you, and Merry Christmas.

(“It’s a small world after all, It’s a small world after all, It’s small world after all, It’s a small, smal :::BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG:::

Sorry. I always did HATE that song.)

I-man December 22, 2009 at 12:51 am

All the people that own slaves in those countries consider themselves Arab, sure their grandpa fudged their black slaves and they now have black skin, they still consider themselves Arab or Arabized Berbers…White. Oh fuck it is too complicated to explain to any asshole that can’t even bother to put the r in Mauritania.

S.Luggo December 22, 2009 at 1:01 am

[re=483483]Neilist[/re]: Feeling very alone?

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 22, 2009 at 2:41 am

Mauiggtania?

And, in Haiti, aren’t they called “zombies?”

thesheriffisnear December 22, 2009 at 4:59 am

Rex Kramer: Danger Seeker

JavaJack December 22, 2009 at 6:04 am

The guy is an ASS. As much as I would like to snark him to death on his they do it why can’t I attitude. I can only hope all his friends all jump off the bridge.

http://www.freetheslaves.net/Page.aspx?pid=183

Mahousu December 22, 2009 at 8:41 am

Good Lord, Gene Weingarten has really let himself go. Which for him is saying something.

kentuckienne2 December 22, 2009 at 9:36 am

[re=483210]Morbo the Annihilator[/re]: Or “They have slaves, so we can too?”

TGY December 22, 2009 at 9:49 am

This man is a stranger to the private parts of women. Or men, for that matter.

Manos: Hands of Fate December 22, 2009 at 10:25 am

Well if Haiti allows it, it can be all bad. That’s his point right?

Rev. Peter Lemonjello December 22, 2009 at 12:34 pm

[re=483501]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Once again, your comment almost got me contempt of court. Gotta stop reading this site at work.

joewilson'sconscience December 22, 2009 at 2:12 pm

that phrase “white supremacy” I don’t think it means what you think it means…..

Unsilly December 22, 2009 at 3:02 pm

That’s Mauitania in communist Hawai’i, right?

BobTheBuilder December 22, 2009 at 5:31 pm

I’m just impressed the guy’s vision has apparently stayed the same since 1977.

Rachel Ray Jihad December 22, 2009 at 8:33 pm

[re=483368]biggiantannoyingthing[/re]: God, it feels good to be a gangsta.

curt December 24, 2009 at 10:47 am

Read “It’s the Jews Stupid” by Curt Maynard http://curtmaynardsnewestblog.blogspot.com/2008/09/its-jews-stupid.html

zoltan93 January 1, 2010 at 12:43 pm

You bigoted person why do you think he is an Atheist? Wasn’t it Christians who enslaved African people? Wasn’t segregation caused by Christians? Atheists have no reason to be racists we know that we all evolved from a common ancestor(all humans are descended from Africa)! You know its people like you who are the reason why the world is in the shape that it is! Ya and the person in the picture is a bigoted moron and probably not an Atheist!

zoltan93 January 1, 2010 at 12:47 pm

[re=483374]Lawndarts[/re]: Because 16% of Americans are Atheists. And the have the same right to be Americans as you do! You bigot!

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