Want to see a hot sex video of John Bolton cumming all over Dick Cheney’s grundle? So do we but who can find it?? For now you’ll have to settle for the “text version,” from great publication Human Events. John Bolton has named Dick Cheney the “conservative of the year” in one of the strangest articles on the current Internet. You know why America loves Dick Cheney, according to this demented mustache? He presents direct challenges to Barack Obama’s “insouciance” towards national security. Not only is Barack Obama nonchalant, but he’s the gay Frenchy-lookin’ synonym. [Human Events via Salon/War Room]
AWARDS SEASON 3:19 pm December 21, 2009
John Bolton, Human Events Name Dick Cheney President of 2009
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{ 63 comments }
Later that night, Mr. Barky McBarkinsons took his own life.
Insouciance used to be one of my favorite words. Goddamn wingnuts ruin everything!
Obama is also jejuene, philistine, a coquette, and a bunch of other foreign sounding words American aren’t familiar with.
Is he getting ready to eat that dog? What a monster.
In similarly important news, Jonah Goldberg (on behalf of an entirely unaware National Review staff) named the Double-Stuff Cakester the Oreo-Related Product of the Year.
Here’s the hot sex video our Wonkette was unable (unwilling?) to locate.
WARNING: Possibly Not Safe for Aquarium (again!)
So, an asshat congratulates another asshat for his asshattery? Why, exactly?
Was it the size of the asshat, the material the asshat was made from, how well the asshat was tailored, how the color of the asshat matched the asshat’s own eye color, the envious looks that all the other asshats gave to this one particular asshat?
I haz a confuze.
And Marisa Tomei is an Oscar winner.
Suck my choad Bolton
This article is proof that John Bolton isn’t above giving Dick Cheney mustache rides.
[re=483071]jetjaguar[/re]: Old Yella was the best goddamn Golden Shower Retriever any guy could ever have.
We’ll miss you, boy!
John Bolton’s mustache is insouciant toward the rest of his face.
[re=483075]norbizness[/re]: K-Lo is considered an “Oreo-related product”?
Bolton did that? Pretty pushy for a guy who pumps out mediocre CD’s.
What? That’s Michael Bolton? Never mind….
Alt-text win, Mr. Newell! I’ve never seen Dick Cheney look so alive.
” Later, after leaving the Defense Department in 1993 following Bush 41’s loss to Bill Clinton, Cheney sojourned briefly at AEI”
Sounds French/gay.
[re=483084]Extemporanus[/re]: Hell. Cheney thinks Old Yeller had it coming.
Ironically, the French don’t have a word for “insouciance”.
Isn’t direct challenge to the President’s foreign policy in time of war a bit worse than insouciance?
I would respond, but I have eaten cheese and cannot crap on a moldy saltine at the moment. I will drink some Fleet soda and meat you on youtube in an hour.
Yes…’meat’.
Wow — better writing than JK Rowling, and funnier too. Congratulations, Mr. Bolton, for proving that paranoid schizophrenia with delusions of grandeur isn’t an impediment to success within the Republican party.
When you stop and consider what being a conservative means, and think about the things Cheney has done and the things that he says, then you realize, yeah, he IS the “Conservative of the Year.”
Not that any self-respecting person would want that moniker, I’m just sayin’.
That dog looks sad. I guess I would too if I belonged to Dick. Poor dog.
[re=483074]ellie[/re]: After he shoots it in the face, of course.
[re=483100]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I sometimes think that sometimes it’s a actually a full pediment to success, nowhere near an impediment.
If that dog was really man’s best friend, he would wrap his jaws around that wrinkly old throat and tear out his windpipe.
There used to be a lithe, gamine young girl in my dorm at NYU who wore a jet black page boy cut and often sported a Plato’s Retreat t-shirt, which showed off her bazooms to good advantage. This was when Plato’s Retreat was active, people. We used to call her “Cleo,” for the Cleopatra hair cut and heavy eye shadow, which she probably thought was “punk.” One afternoon she caught me in a locked down one-on-one stare contest in the stair well, as if to say that I had made the cut. Wussy that I was, and still am, I was too afraid to pursue things to their logical conclusion. Now I know that if I had “befriended” her, I probably would have ended up actually visiting Plato’s Retreat for sex purposes, and would have stood a reasonable chance of being accidentally fucked in the pooper by John Bolton among the dank musty gym mats that covered the floors of the dirty, dirty rooms.
Ultimately, I would say I made the right call. Plus by now I’m gonna be charitable and say her looks have faded whilst mine have matured like fine wine. Chalk up another win for Mr. Blifil…
Although Cheney’s brand of smug evil is certainly indicative of a the neoconservative strain of modern right-wing douchery, the winner should also display the vapidity, proud anti-intellectualism, disregard for facts, knee-jerk opposition to any liberal ideas, and racism endemic to the modern conservative movement. To that end, I’d pick either Palin or give a Time-style group award to “the Teabagger”.
Interesting. I assume that John “I Am the Walrus” Bolton knows that Cheney polls about as well as cholera, right?
So the guy with a 1890′s circus moustache who still believes in WMDs and Iraqi 9/11 pilots who also insisted on national television that the person who wrote “Party Of Rivals” was completely wrong about Lincoln (even though he had never read the book) says that the most unpopular American since Benedict Arnold who sends his wife and daughter out to defend his war crimes on teevee talk shows is the finest example of conservativism of the past 12 months. Yep sounds about right.
“Let the American people weigh the value of this evidence against the techniques themselves, and let history judge.”
Huh, I think that kind of already happened, John. It was called “the 2008 presidential election.” But hey, it’s cool if your memory is fuzzy on the topic.
Oh, nice. He pretty much blames the downfall of the Republican Party on Condi.
I think this is Micheal Bolton’s “Michael Bolton Moment”.
Dickenstein is haunted by ghost of his black Lab, “Beat Me Bloody.”
In the conservative version of the dictionary, “insouciant” means “not driven by batshit paranoia and Oedipal neuroses and occasionally acting like there might be another country on this planet.”
Not since the Starland Vocal Band won the Grammy for ‘Best New Artist of 1976′ has an award been so deserved.
[re=483134]snideinplainsight[/re]: I own his whole catalog, not one weak track.
[re=483133]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Well, in case you have noticed, she is black.
[re=483112]Mr Blifil[/re]: Um, that was me. And you’re right about all of it but the “her” part (at NYU I was still a tweener.)
[re=483096]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: “In Lapland they have no word for snow.” (Joe Orton, The Ruffian on the Stair)
[re=483143]Scarab[/re]: Well said. You might also have gone with Jethro Tull’s 1988 Best Metal Album Grammy for “Crest of a Knave,” which beat out a little “And Justice for Blah blah blah” album by some band Metalli-something or other. Equally as deserved as Mr. Cheney’s title.
Also, Bolton, go fuck yourself.
A grundle? Looks like a lab to me.
John who?
[re=483077]Extemporanus[/re]: goo goo ga joob
Guy who is so evil he couldn’t get confirmed to the lameass position of US Ambassador to the freaking useless UN says what?
Fun Fact: Bolton is yet another warmonger who, when eligible to fight in a foreign war for the US of A himself, while an enthusiastic supporter of that war in Vietnam, opted, instead, to join…wait for it….the Army National Guard, because, “I confess I had no desire to die in a Southeast Asian rice paddy. I considered the war in Vietnam already lost.”
It was Teddy Kennedy’s fault, do you see?
“By the time I was about to graduate in 1970, it was clear to me that opponents of the Vietnam War had made it certain we could not prevail, and that I had no great interest in going there to have Teddy Kennedy give it back to the people I might die to take it away from.”
What’s the word for people who push for wars for others to fight and die in? I can’t remember, and I don’t think it’s French.
to be fair, Cheney has a rather impressive grundle
http://waste-bin.blogspot.com/2004/11/packing-meat.html
[re=483161]J. Robert Oppenheiner[/re]: Hah!
Any picture with a lab in it gets my vote.
The important take-away of that article was the ad for foreclosed Arizona land. Although now I see the ad has changed to the “Patriot’s Bible”.
That poor dog looks so sad. I think Cheney probably shoots all the bunnies before he can chase them.
The Penis Party just doesn’t have much to celebrate right now, so they have to heap shovels of accolades on the biggest Dick.
Best part was his nostalgic reference to working as a summer intern for Spiro fucking Agnew.
Fuck me. Snark overload.
Didn’t Antonio Banderas already vanquish Dick Cheney’s grundle so he could get into el-Valhalla?
[re=483134]snideinplainsight[/re]: Why should I change my name? He’s the one who sucks!
-Michael Bolton
Hey Bolton: COO COO CA JOOB.
He hates it when you do that.
[re=483074]ellie[/re]: I thought the same thing. With his permanent sneer, he looks like he’s ready to field dress it, or whatever hunters do to innocent animals.
[re=483212]Katydid[/re]: Wingers will believe any fucking thing another winger tells them. A lady we know locally says her husband was laid off after 23 years with the same company. He would have been eligible for full retirement at 25 years. He got no days notice. His insurance was canceled at midnight, which didn’t give them time to get on her insurance, so her sick son is uninsured.
And what has her excited/angry? (same thing for wingers). We’re building a new jail and she wants it run like that dickwad in Arizona who makes the prisoners wear pink jump suits, or something.
Yep. Her family got fucked by the Man completely, but she will fight to the death to see Mexicans came get into this country and millionaires won’t have to pay taxes.
Wingers will believe any fucking thing another winger tells them.
Thanks to this article, I had to look up “grundle.” And now that I know the definition, in relation to Dick Cheney and that Bolton motherfucker jacking off between his legs, I’m truly ready to vomit.
[re=483112]Mr Blifil[/re]: If that’s winning… Dang! I’m regretting not saying something insouciant to her. Vivid!
I didn’t know that “insouciance” meant “nigger.”
[re=483112]Mr Blifil[/re]: [re=483149]chaste everywhere[/re]:
Cleo’s fondness for asp-to-mouth would ultimately be her undoing.
Dick Cheeeney is a cable guy? Who knew?
[re=483497]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Only in French West Niger.
[re=483506]Extemporanus[/re]: No wonder age could not wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety.
[re=483121]NJB[/re]: He also knows that polls have little to do with getting into office, if you control the ballot box.
The dog will be his VP, as the horse Incitatus was one of Caligula’s consul. (Although given his age and perversity, Cheney is a lot more like Tiberius.)
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