President Walnuts does not think that dead Ted Kennedy likes this Senate health care bill very much — not because of the bill, just because it’s so partisan. Yep, that does suck. It’s what happens when the other party doesn’t negotiate in good faith, or is just retarded. Why is John McCain being so mean to Vickie “Reggie” Kennedy and her ability to channel her husband Ted’s dead thoughts, perfectly? [YouTube]
DREAM SCENARIOS
December 21, 2009
{ 41 comments }
Wait, a cotton pickin’ minute, there, pardner. Only Orrin Hatch knows what Ted Kennedy would be thinking!
However, his daughters Boobies have broad bipartisan support. This is important! and also Not Funny, Also!
She hasn’t even been a widow five and a half years yet.
“Look everyone an old man is talking.”
Does Senator McCain even think of what he is saying before it exits his mouth. Everytime he says “this dastardly thing has neverhappened before”. Heends up being not only wrong but He is the one who did it.
Shorter Walnuts (that would be a dwarf? midget? little people? tyke? toddler? Trig?)
Just like Olympia Snowe, I would’ve voted for a bipartisan bill if only the Democrats had presented one.
I’m a maverick! I would’ve voted for it! I would’ve! I would’ve!
Or something.
And to prove how outraged they are, no Reptards will not vote for the next Dem bill all over again. Will Dems ever learn.
John McCain, you saucy renegade, you.
Every single time I see John McCain on the teevee every single day, I’m reminded of how much worse things would be right now had the American people been foolish enough to elect Barack Obama president.
Talk about dodging a bullet!
PHEW!
Much like the books in the Wonkette advertisements, McCain is Overflowing with information about PEE, POO, and FARTS!
To be fair, John McCain has one foot in the grave so he could legitimately know what Ted Kennedy is thinking in the hypothetical afterlife. Whether he’s telling the truth about it is another matter.
I hate the no-edit feature.
I think Admiral McCain would have been very disappointed that his son finished last at Anapolis, then couldn’t fly a plane 100 yards without crashing.
[re=483007]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Without broad support, she’d have a much better chance getting that SAG card she so desperately wants.
Sell across state lines, cut taxes, TORT REFORM!!1
Yeah, and Ronald Reagan (sound of angelic choir) would be disappointed that opposition to it wasn’t bipartisan. So hosanna-and-fuck-you, Senator.
Yep, because if there was one thing Kennedy hated, it was partisanship. That’s the reason he was known as “the wishy-washy moderate lion of the Senate,” and the right-wingers always talked about how much they loved the guy.
Could those with the second sight please inform us when the ghost of Ted Kennedy stops skull fucking John McCain? I don’t like to share holes with specters.
[re=483024]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: What’s His Pus Telling Us?
With Ted Kennedy’s guiding hand, we might have had the Continue Fucking The Poors Act of 2009 by August. Sadly, here we are, about to give an additional third of a cent for every dollar earned above $250,000 to these unwashed who otherwise might have had the good grace to sicken and die. What has this country come to?
In defense of Walnuts, every time he says that something “needs to be more bipartisan” half of DC has an orgasm (David Broder has to be medvaced to an emergency room whenever it happens in case just in case) so it’s just another way for McCain to insure that he’ll be able to appear on TV five hours a day.
[re=483023]Extemporanus[/re]: You were going one way with that comment and then, PADOW, it was like humor whiplash or something.
I believe the window for caring what McPuddles says (faux disdain, faux shock, faux concern, faux friendship) has closed.
Fuck you Lieberman.
Oops. I forgot that Sundays and Mondays were for WALNUTS! and the rest of the week was for Joe.
A ragged cup, a twisted mop
Okay, so I’m gonna try and dig into con logic here and see how it turns out. Ted Kennedy would have HATED this bill, right? Okay, great but Ted Kennedy was an evil murdering boozer and everything he liked was also evil whilst everything he hated was good. I’m right so far.
So, if Kennedy HATED this bill, then it would be a good bill for conservative values and so therefore Republicans should all vote for it. Senatorial logjam fixed, bill passes with broad partisan support, Christmas is saved, the Grinch gets hung in time square and Tiny Tim is used as a photo op before being shunted to some sweat shop in Taipan.
That’s right, isn’t it?
Anyway, you’re getting closer and closer to pooling together all those half written blog posts and publishing them, aren’t you Newell?
[re=483013]drpangloss[/re]: The only thing more ridiculous is that Hayworth, his opponent in the Repub AZ primary, will turn this into an ad to prove that McCain is soft on liberalism and longs to work in a bipartisan fashion with Ted Kennedy.
[re=483051]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Great, now you’ve stuck the image of Walnuts giving Broder an orgasm in my head. And I can’t get rid of it!
I’m sure it would have broken that big fat man’s big fat heart that feces-brained miscreants like Tom “Why Doesn’t Robert Byrd Die Already” Coburn couldn’t be brought over by appeals to fairness or reason.
Ted would have demanded that alcoholism be a completely covered condition, regardless of the type of insurance plan involved.
Also, drowning. I mean, just in case “lightening strikes twice”?
[re=483092]Neilist[/re]: He made sure of that before he went to the Great Senate Chamber in the Sky. It’s called the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008. But the insurance companies will probably utilization manage the shit out of it, so you’ll have to be a drunk for over 30 years and be this close to wetbrain before you’re eligible for 2 visits to an addiction clinic per year, so nevermind.
I am especially pleased that the children were able to hear that authentic frontier gibberish.
Stephanopoulos: “Well, it seems like a great time for you to step up and take the lead on the bipartisan effort, to honor Senator Kennedy”
Walnuts: “The democrats wouldn’t let me help.”
Stephanopoulos: “You could become the ‘New Lion’”
Walnuts: “For the hundredth time Georgie, lions aren’t mavericky.”
Things Ted Kennedy’s ghost loves
whiskey with an E
singing Danny Boy in the shower
boobies
Things Ted Kennedy’s ghost hates
Kane West
Josh Bolton’s mustache
borshcht (which he can never spell)
worms.
Christ, if I promise to vote for him in 2008 will he stop talking already?
McCain seems to have re-discovered the long-lost secret of mummification and is enjoying its anti-rejuvenating benefits.
Walnuttz,
Ol Ted didn’t care what you had to say about him when he was alive, and I am sure he cares even less now that he is dead.
what a cocksucker
If McCain wanted the bill to be bipartisan, he should have voted for it.
[re=483105]progressiveinga[/re]: ” so you’ll have to be a drunk for over 30 years and be this close to wetbrain before you’re eligible for 2 visits to an addiction clinic per year, so nevermind.”
Great news! I’ve ALREADY Won!!!!!!!
Everybody knows the Republican idea of Health Care: Government Funded Viagra vs. Out-of-Pocket Birth control. Bob Dole approved it– http://beforegaymarriage.blogspot.com/2009/12/dong-meds-on-your-tv.html
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