Terrible Demon Tom Coburn Offers To Cover God’s Medicaid Expansion Beyond 2019 If He Just Kills Robert Byrd

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The always admirable Sen. Dick Durbin — Barack Obama’s white father — is super upset with the behavior of this health care debate’s most shameless Senate C-Streeter, Tom Coburn, a dick. He is demanding that Coburn “explain” an earlier prayer call for a Democratic senator to miss tonight’s 1 a.m. cloture vote, SOMEHOW. Hmm. Which senator’s circumstances are most likely to prevent him (or her! women!) from reaching a super-important 1 a.m. vote?

Maybe it’s Robert Byrd, the one who is famously dying and 107 years old? (It’s most likely that he died some months ago — Harry Reid is just pulling a lil’ Weekend At Bernie’s action until this health fucker passes.)

So sad that the clubby friendships of the Senate have become so strained. In fact this is every American’s problem and the most important issue to each of them. Time to call for an open “house meeting” to repair these friendships, just like in a mid-season Real World episode.

[Windy City Watch]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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