Go ruin your OWN holiday, jeez ...
Is Hanukkah/Chanukah finally over, so we can get on with the true Jewish Christmas? Yes? Hooray! Here’s a picture of Barack and Michelle just cold putting a “crown of eight thorns” on this poor kid’s head. And the official “Two Weeks of Fucking Off” have officially begun, praise be to Kwanzaa, peace be upon Him.

But the REAL reason for the season is the actual change of the seasons, which happens in a few days. Happy Almost Winter Solstice, friendies! This was the shortest Friday of the Year, and it’s now the shortest (daylight-wise) Saturday of the Year. Hope you have not died in the blizzard! [Flickr]

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  1. The last day of Hanukkah is also the day that celebrates Blackbeard, who used to burn matches in his hair and beard to frighten his victims. The Obamas are obviously bringing together the faiths of Judaism, Christianity, Islam (youknowhwatI’mtalkingabout) Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (vis a vis the pirate thing) and the homosexuals vis a vis the seafaring boatload of men thing. This is some way of turning our children into Manchurian candidates who will be triggered to exercise hypnotically-induced suggestions to turn America socialist by building high-speed rail lines to Disneyland. Next thing you know, your childrens’ tax dollars will be going to enslave the rich in factories where they spend their days making condoms for liberal elite gay sex orgies. Out of used bibles and the skin of aborted fetuses. I weep — I weep for America.

  2. Gee I hope they don’t get locked in the Senate with no food or beverages. I hope they don’t resort to cannibalism. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to Lieberman. Afterall, he is the smallest and weakest.

  3. If Hopey is finally going to get off his ass, and do something useful, and really wants to put spikes into Jews, I’ll loan him some 10 penny nails and keep the motor running while he pays a Christmas Visit to Senator Lieberman’s house.

    I recognize that a creche on the lawn is a more traditional Christmas decoration. But why not Joe nailed to a crucifix, tastefully decorated with those little blinking lights?

    “The first Noel, the angels did sing . . . .”

  4. And who paid for the pretty Hebraic candles? Was it you or was it me?

    This photo is one more example of why socialist government universal HeathCare will lure Mex-Canidianos to cross our borders for free injections of narcotic drugs. Muslims, also.
    — Randy Paul

  5. For fuck’s sake, Wonkette. Are we supposed to still be commenting on things? We’ve got four inches of fucking thundersnow to contend with. Give us a fucking breather, will you?

  6. I just drove down Connecticut Ave and while I thought I saw Lieberman round every shadowed snowy corner (it being saturday now, I assume Mr Ortho had to walk home to Georgetown from the Capitol; anyhow, he’s probably the vaguely old person I ran over), and it really is a blizzard, shoo! Made it onto Canal Road and there were 4 deer dusted in snow picturesquely shivering and with no health care.

  7. [re=482191]Ray Smuckles[/re]: Yes. If only to entertain greedy schmucks like me that want to work for 16 hours. Get to snarking, bitches!

  8. Praise be to Sy, Jr.’s miraculously oily head! Were it not for his fuel-soaked follicles, the eternal flames that so festively illuminate the holy temple of Obama would have long since grown cold.

    As we are taught in the Gospel of John 10:22, “Lo! Cast thine eyes upon my righteous Hebe fro, and rejoice! I doth not be merely the Hair Club for Menorot president; verily, I shall remain, ’til kingdom come, a client.”


  9. Peggy Noonan is not nearly as concerned about deficit spending and large corporations controlling our government as she is about gay men kissing in public. (on TV)

  10. OK, NOW will Lieberman vote for the health care bill?

    Oh, that’s right, Lieberman already said he would after Reid dropped the “health care” part of the bill.

  11. [re=482208]gurukalehuru[/re]: Whoops, didn’t realize that the weekly Peggy Noonan roast-a-thon had already been covered two posts down.
    I will try to keep up in future.

  12. [re=482180]El Pinche[/re]: Sure, he’s slow, but Lieberman’s scrawny and stringy. John Cornyn would feed a lot more people, and he’s not very bright. Alternatively, any female aide could easily convince Vitter or Ensign to put a bag over their heads to “play a game”.

    Anyone who has watched the Discovery Channel dinosaur shows will tell you that the slow moving ones who aren’t bright are just a big bag of meat ready for the taking. As long as you don’t eat the hair gel, there will be a feast into the new year.

  13. [re=482191]Ray Smuckles[/re]: Wonkette doesn’t care. They’re hunkered down in Cheney’s bunker, somewhere out past Front Royal or somewhere.

  14. has Luke Russert always been reporting on important things for MSNBC? I I thought he was the youth correspondent. I guess it helps him that he looks 40 years old.

  15. Michael Moore has a site on twitter that is boycotting all Conn. businesses as punishment for Lying LIEberman. I’m in, and I’m a liberal Jew.

  16. Washington D.C. whiny crybabies, you have a perfectly good subway system and we all know it doesn’t snow underground. It just warms my heart to know that the same chicken-hawks who send thousands of troops off to war are panic-stricken by a few inches of snow.

  17. [re=482193]GuyClinch[/re]: So why did you only run over one of the oldz that you thought you saw? Clearly amongst the failure of the Senate to act we must each be our own Death Panel.

  18. One six-year-old in a sweater vest, and the other in a blue button-up-the-back number from Little House on the Prairie.

    Did the guy who made the plaid dress for Rick Santorum’s daughter get a signature line at Baby Gap, or something?

  19. [re=482239]klufoi[/re]: My dear klufoi, I can understand why some upstanding americans would need only one air jordan. Between all the wars, blizzards, and violent video games, some folks only got one foot.

    BUT 24 AIR JORDANS, SIR? NOW YOU ARE TESTING MY CREDULITY. Do you expect me to believe that there are mutant humans running about with 12 pairs of legs? AND THAT PEOPLE ARE BUYING THEM CHRISTMAS GIFTS?

  20. Jeebus H. Bagpipin’ Christ! One little snow storm and waa waa waa. Try living in the lake effect snow depository. Every fuckin’ year, folks. Every. Fuckin’. Year.

  21. Jesus always told me he loved the Hanukkah and is playing dreidle today up in heaven. So there.
    Also, soon to be ex- Senator Lieberman escaped to Connecticut already and is driving around in his Snowe moblile limo and taking elevators where ever he wants because no one can catch him at it up there. I’ll personally mail fifty dollars to any one who can get me a picture of him driving on the Sabbath.

  22. During the snowstorm you will need to know…

    Dig your car out, wait until a plow truck comes by, drive behind him, stay close, the plow drivers love that.

    Drive fast to keep your momentum, texting and chatting on your cell helps in case you get stranded.

    Bring an empty coffee can to pee in or pour brandy in.

    Bring a blanket for sexytime in case you pick up a stranded motorist.

    When you get to the liquor store, buy two boxes of wine you’ll need one for the drive home.

    Its a fact that police do not arrest drunk drivers during blizzards.

    If you get back home, bake something or burn your copy of “Going Rouge” to stay warm.

    All the best from the upper Midwest.

  23. Wow, from the back, those kids look like the Santorum family.

    I guess I can rejoice that healthcare “reform” is passing, if only because it pisses off the conservatives so much. Haha, anti-bill prayer meeting. where is your Lord Jesus-God now?

  24. [re=482239]klufoi[/re]: Hey, Jackass. How stupid do you have to be to think Wonkette is a profitable place to troll for suckers? Answer: very, very stupid. GTFO, loser.

    (I know. Silly me, thinking spam-shits can read.)

  25. [re=482211]gurukalehuru[/re]: It’s cool. I’m still perplexed and angry that our esteemed editors have chosen not to feature what is arguably Pegster’s “best” column of the year. But who am I to tell other people what to do? And think.

    And hey, the shovel shortage is so severe that it must take priority. Really, people should just ask Peggy N. if they can borrow one of her shovels, because she has clearly shoveled a barge-full of shit onto the WSJ.

  26. The Obamas did not have a rabbi light a big menorah in from of the White House because they are, of course, somewhat sensitive to people setting religious symbols on fire on their front lawn.

  27. [re=482239]klufoi[/re]: You have the wrong website,, try , people there are more likely to buy 1 Air Jordan. Would a ” New era cap ” have McCain’s name already redacted? Anyways junk stuff your ass up your can you. And before I forget greeting’s season, Mary’s Christmas.

  28. All this press, all those t.v. appearances, and we still don’t know the most basic truth about President Obama — applesauce or sour cream on his latkes?

  29. Jewish Kwanzaa may have ended but we still have Black Hannukah to look forward to and Boxing Day, the day we celebrate the birth of Mike Tyson. Baby Jesus’ half birthday, also (’cause wasn’t actually born in June or something?).

  30. Hey, Ben Nelson agreed to vote for cloture on the healthcare bill.
    And yes, the final agreement probably looks horrible, but it really doesn’t matter so much at this point — the House and Senate bills are going into conference after this, and the House bill already has all the goodies, so they’re all still in play.

    I’m hoping that something more closely resembling Harry Reid’s initial compromise — the Medicare buy-in, Medicaid expansion to 160% of poverty and a triggered public option with subsidies — comes out of conference and then Harry has some actual balls and uses the nucear option to overcome the dissenters’ final cloture filibuster. And honestly I don’t see any other way that this plays out successfully.

    And then of course, we can look forward to a tsunami of teabaggers rising up against them getting affordable healthcare from here until November of 2010. If you thought they were bringing the insanity now, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

  31. [re=482224]Koolaid[/re]: Every other reporter MSNBC is covering the Tiger Wood news, so they send the most junior to cover the HCR. Every time I see that little dweeb on t.v., I get strong violent urges to hurt someone.

  32. [re=482321]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Oh, wait — I just saw this about another possible outcome: the House decides to pass the Senate bill unchanged instead of sending it to a conference committee.

    Good idea — pass a bill that both liberals and conservatives find unacceptable, rather than just one group.

  33. [re=482302]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: “…applesauce or sour cream on his latkes?” I’ve always wondered, is it permissable to have both? Or is that too Catholic?

  34. Actually I think the little kinderlach are thinking, “I wonder if we get to meet that Senator with the melting face that starred in the tv show Alf.”

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