THE THINGS WE TYPE  5:56 pm December 18, 2009

Rand Paul’s Very Special Spokesman Resigns. Why Would He Do That?

by Jim Newell

Here’s the post you’ve been asking for, tipsters, about a fellow named Chris Hightower, who until very recently was the spokesman for the Rand “Jesus” Paul 2010 Senate campaign. That’s Chris (far left) up there in his former metal band, COMMANDER, whose sound was kind of like, half-Nirvana, half-”the sound of acid burning through a human skull,” and half-Orrin Hatch. What else is Chris Hightower into, aside from death metal music? Maybe he has an Internet paper trail and we can find out.

…???

…WAIT, AHA — as in “Martin Luther King Junior Day.” Because he was… right, right, got it.

Chris Hightower is a Real American who is concerned about deficits.

Rand Paul’s spokesperson is a Satanic Metal God in KKK gear (5 UPDATES) [Barefoot and Progressive]

 
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{ 223 comments }

Advocatus_Diaboli December 18, 2009 at 6:00 pm

paultards and racism? why, I never.

OzoneTom December 18, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Wow, he’s put on a little weight.

Bearbloke December 18, 2009 at 6:02 pm

A ‘Real American’ who WILL vote Paul/Palin 2012…

The Jackson Five December 18, 2009 at 6:05 pm

That COMMANDER pic is fucking begging for Blingee.

organiccoffee December 18, 2009 at 6:05 pm

A KKK radar–is that anything like a gaydar?

chascates December 18, 2009 at 6:07 pm

But a sprinkling of Libertarian magic pixie dust will solve all of this.

OffTheRecord December 18, 2009 at 6:07 pm

I am going to interpret this as permission to smack every idiot I know who is planning on voting for Rand Paul. I’ve been looking for a reason other than the fact that his name is Rand and I really can’t deal with having senators named Mitch and Rand.

dijetlo December 18, 2009 at 6:08 pm

What can you say? You know they are dumbasses who can’t count. They think we can run the worlds remaining super power on highway tolls and…well, pretty much just highway tolls. Now we find out they believe in capitol punishment…for talking to white girls (or maybe just being “uppity”).
Honestly, are we shocked?

slappypaddy December 18, 2009 at 6:09 pm

sharkey, come see. does this answer any of your questions?

ManchuCandidate December 18, 2009 at 6:10 pm

A Satanist and a Racist. Wow. Rand Paul really knows how to pick’em.

Rand Paul, making Jim “Fucking” Bunning look GOOD.

Bearbloke December 18, 2009 at 6:11 pm

[re=481945]organiccoffee[/re]: Only when you’re the prat wearing the dunce-hat…

Snarkalicious December 18, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Why do they all seem to have over-long arms?

And can we get that post tattooed on his back and then send him to Rikers Island?

pampl December 18, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Hmm, the famous Paulian coded-nod-to-white-supremacists has lost a little of its subtlety

Mr Blifil December 18, 2009 at 6:12 pm

I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt until I learn about the full context.

organiccoffee December 18, 2009 at 6:15 pm

But I thought Obama ended racism.

I guess he’s a racist?

Gopherit December 18, 2009 at 6:21 pm

A racist paultard? That’s unpossible!

Mista Eko December 18, 2009 at 6:21 pm

Guy never did anything for my fantasy football team, either.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 6:23 pm

PROTIP: Wrapping your IT department in Saran Wrap will not keep it from going bad.

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2009 at 6:24 pm

I’ll bet the girl who carved the backwards B in her face had an orgasm when she saw that.

Come here a minute December 18, 2009 at 6:24 pm

Not sure I agree with your math, there, Jim. What about the other half?

You’re just mad he was in a way cool band — Let the Eagle Soar, for Hanukkkah!

Come here a minute December 18, 2009 at 6:26 pm
glamourdammerung December 18, 2009 at 6:31 pm

I figured “White Will” would have been running Rand’s campaign, but I have not really been keeping up with the Cult of Paul. I am looking forward to the strange justifications from the Paultards when they put out the Paulsign or whatever the fuck they do to signal a flock to a forum to annoy the decent folk.

Humbleton December 18, 2009 at 6:32 pm

I’m a bit surprised that so many people here so freely associate a libertarian candidate with racism. The tenets of libertarianism call for liberty for everyone, regardless of race, gender, or creed. Rand Paul a ‘racist’ because his staffer may or may not have been a closet racist? I’m not buying that…

Gopherit December 18, 2009 at 6:35 pm

Really, the best part was that he was Paul’s spokesperson. I always pick a press liaison who is fluent in hair metal, racism, and satanic imagery.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 6:36 pm

COMMANDER WILL RARK YOR FUKKKING FACE OFF!!1

whiskey tango foxtrot December 18, 2009 at 6:37 pm

I love this story. I love everything about it. I especially love the end – to wit: If the Libertarian Party is worth half a damn, they’ll not repudiate this idiot but embrace him.

Gopherit December 18, 2009 at 6:37 pm

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: Rand Paul is a racist because he has been intimately associated with his father’s previous campaigns that regularly took money and other support from racist organizations. He’s fucking stupid for hiring a spokesperson who is outwardly racist.

thehelveticascenario December 18, 2009 at 6:37 pm

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: You seem to be lost.

SayItWithWookies December 18, 2009 at 6:38 pm

All these liberals really have it in for White America, don’t they? I wonder who the first website will be to say his first amendment rights are being oppressed?

kewlguy42069 December 18, 2009 at 6:38 pm
user-of-owls December 18, 2009 at 6:41 pm

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: Hang on goober, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

FlipOffResearch December 18, 2009 at 6:42 pm

[re=481945]organiccoffee[/re]: I think that would be a KKKadar.

Jim89048 December 18, 2009 at 6:43 pm

At least his post said “happy”. Celebrate!

user-of-owls December 18, 2009 at 6:45 pm

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: [re=481961]Mr Blifil[/re]: Rand Paul a ‘racist’ because his staffer may or may not have been a closet racist?

Quite so, friends. We mustn’t rush to judgment on the basis of a single piece of so-called evidence.

JohnnyMeatworth December 18, 2009 at 6:47 pm

[re=481942]The Jackson Five[/re]: you want it, you got it:

http://blingee.com/blingee/view/104021829-i-3-Chris-

Humbleton December 18, 2009 at 6:48 pm

[re=481992]user-of-owls[/re]: No, I don’t think so. I doubt anyone will really notice or care about this event. Next.

user-of-owls December 18, 2009 at 6:49 pm

[re=481997]user-of-owls[/re]: Your italic fly is open, douchebag.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 18, 2009 at 6:50 pm

WOULD YOU LIKE MAKE RACIST FUCK… COMMANDER!!!!

Sorry, about that, it’s all [re=481984]Extemporanus[/re]‘s fault. I will never make another lame Clerks joke again.

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: “May or may not…” You’re joking right? You come here, you see what we do in the comments section, you realize irony is a big part of it, so you’re shooting for subtle and ironic, yeah? Like, when we see a picture of, say, Bill Kristol schlurping Dick Cheney’s knob and one of us slyly mentions, “Oh, and I’m not saying Billy is gay, but he might like men.” That kind of subtle right?

Because, I didn’t need to click the “more” button on this post to know that COMMANDER was kicking some serious neo-nazi vibes.

[re=481989]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m just holding my breath until 2050 or so when white people will no longer be the majority. Of course, then Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’REilly will be resurrected from the grave and we’ll NEVER hear the end of it then.

Cicada December 18, 2009 at 6:50 pm

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: It isn’t libertarians per se, it’s Paulites in particular. Ron Paul and now Rand have received quite a bit of support from white supremacists.

Here:
http://www.americanthinker.com/2007/11/the_ron_paul_campaign_and_its.html
http://www.tookookyforkentucky.com/?p=335

It’s one of those “you lie down with dogs” situations.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 18, 2009 at 6:52 pm

[re=481998]JohnnyMeatworth[/re]: What, couldn’t find any swastikas?

Cicada December 18, 2009 at 6:56 pm

[re=482002]Cicada[/re]: Oh, and both Paul and his competitor in the Republican primaries have been linked to white supremacists. Gotta love KY GOP politics!

organiccoffee December 18, 2009 at 6:59 pm

[re=482003]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Maybe not, but they firmly believe that work will set you free.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 18, 2009 at 7:00 pm

[re=482006]Cicada[/re]: Right, the sad thing being that associations with white supremacist groups in Kentucky not exactly an electoral liability in Kentucky.

Dear Diorama December 18, 2009 at 7:01 pm

Wake up, sheeple! This is a diversion from the Illuminati to stop us from talking about the Federal Reserve!

Scruffy_The_Janitor December 18, 2009 at 7:03 pm

wait, no comments why this band is possing inside a car wash? Wonkette has jumped the sharkey…

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 7:03 pm

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: You are quite right.

By accepting this message to his personal Myspace account from a glass closet racist friend and staffer, and then leaving it posted to said account for nearly two years before finally being compelled to remove it due solely to the deliterious effect negative publicity resulting from its public exposure might have on his nascent electoral aspirations, Rand Paul was nobly—dare I say, heroically—adhering to the gold plated principles of regard-less libertarianism that continue to make it the premier afterschool club for sociopathically-retarded contrarians and white supremacist-supporting relatives that it is today.

NIger rEVOLution!

Gopherit December 18, 2009 at 7:05 pm

[re=482006]Cicada[/re]: Yeah. I think that has something to do with being white and republican in KY. What a shame, from the party of civil rights legislation….hahahahaha

Scruffy_The_Janitor December 18, 2009 at 7:06 pm

[re=482016]Extemporanus[/re]: Ex, are you like black? can i tell my friends that one of my best friends is black?

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 7:08 pm

[re=482016]Extemporanus[/re]: After all that, and I misspell the word “NIgger”.

I guess that may or may not make me a “racist”.

gjdodger December 18, 2009 at 7:13 pm

I like the hands on hips pose. He should do the Macarena next.

user-of-owls December 18, 2009 at 7:14 pm

[re=482016]Extemporanus[/re]: LOVE IN? Sock it to me, baby!

Oh, and how long until Rand announces Bigot McLonghair’s replacement: semi-toothless woman on back of an ATV?

http://wonkette.com/403090/kentucky-rednecks-have-edifying-insight-about-this-hussein-ay-rab-preznint

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 7:15 pm

[re=482015]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: My [re=481972]first comment[/re] was plastic related.

[re=482020]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: You can tell ‘em that his heart, hair, and hard-on are.

funkyj December 18, 2009 at 7:17 pm

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: “The tenets of libertarianism call for liberty for everyone”

Maybe they’re wanting the “freedom to lynch colored” that the gubinmint took from them.

user-of-owls December 18, 2009 at 7:18 pm

[re=482022]Extemporanus[/re]: And here I thought, “What an innovative approach to weaving threads of contemporary racial discourse in America with theories of contentious politics in subaltern Francophone Africa”, when really I should have been thinking, “Dumbass bad-speller.”

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 7:19 pm

[re=482023]gjdodger[/re]: But it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane…

donner_froh December 18, 2009 at 7:30 pm

[re=481990]kewlguy42069[/re]: The white cat in the corner makes it perfect.

Nigerian Business Executive December 18, 2009 at 7:31 pm

[re=482016]Extemporanus[/re]: Now now. Poor Humberton may be into something. Just because he’s been palling around with racists doesn’t mean that he’s racist. I mean, who cares about this really? Details! Bygones!

And another thing. Why is there no Cracker Day?

And another thing. I’m hungry! Also!

Monsieur Grumpe December 18, 2009 at 7:32 pm

The guy on the right is named Spigot. He’s the dark and brooding one of the band. Spigot’s favorite color is white. He likes long walks on a segregated beach, hunting domesticated cats and blogging on Redstate. His dislikes are long words, French’s mustard and CFL light bulbs. Girls like Spigot the most because he lives dangerously by mowing lawns in his sandal’s.

Escape Goat Nation December 18, 2009 at 7:33 pm

I know this won’t be a popular opinion, but I kinda like Dethklok.

Come here a minute December 18, 2009 at 7:34 pm

He is joshing with us. If you had any friends, you would understand.

bitchincamaro December 18, 2009 at 7:36 pm

1st pic: 4 lads sharing what looks like a cold shower: big turn-off. Fire your publicist.

2nd pic: Slightly o/t but a gallery client of mine hired my firm to refurbish his space some years ago, including the installation of one of those pre-finished hardwood floors (we recommended otherwise). The first exhibition was a photo (and souvenier postcard!) show depicting lynchings in America, during it’s darkest years. After the show, we got a call to come and refinish or replace the flooring, as the stampeding hordes wore out the factory applied finish. Man, people loved those lynching pix. We complied.

Finally, I am no Paultard apologist, by a long shot, but check out Jane Hamsher’s post on HuffPo today. We libtards may have more in common with our Paultard cousins today than we did before this healthcarelessness business began.

user-of-owls December 18, 2009 at 7:36 pm

[re=482034]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Every last one of them look like centerfolds from “I Was Mercilessly Pummeled as a Teenager” magazine, no?

Humbleton December 18, 2009 at 7:38 pm

[re=482002]Cicada[/re]: I believe his stated defense of accepting money from racist organizations was that he didn’t care whose money he was taking, since he would be able to use it to advance the cause of liberty.

Anyway, I am not convinced Ron Paul or Rand Paul are racists, and neither is Ron Paul’s good friend, the head of the NAACP in Austin, TX.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtNUJ2vy_eo

Humbleton December 18, 2009 at 7:44 pm

[re=482033]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: I guess if your only source of news every single day is Wonkette, then I could understand why your opinion is so warped. Everyone knows about the ‘Ron Paul’ newsletters. Everyone knows that Ron Paul has repeatedly denied writing them or even knowing of their existence.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKBlk1Vpeuw

Neilist December 18, 2009 at 7:47 pm

I am appalled to say that I find that appalling.

You Gun-Hating Commie Lie-Bruls have to admit one thing: Nothing fits up the asshole of a Redneck Racist Dumbfuck BoHo than a 12 gauge Remington 870 Express.

Nothing.

Without or without a adjustable choke.

(Fook. What a fookin’ country.)

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 7:51 pm

[re=482028]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=482033]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]:

NIgerian BUSiness execUTIVe rEVOLution!

Seriously, how much more proof do you people need?!

bitchincamaro December 18, 2009 at 7:53 pm

[re=482034]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Riotous laughter. And I resolve to re-learn to close my tags in the new year.

Cathangover December 18, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Commander is just old-school thrash. And yes, it’s only a coincidence I’m posting this on Friday night.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 7:55 pm

[re=482045]Humbleton[/re]: Everybody knows that the blimp is leaking, everybody knows that the captain lied.

Nigerian Business Executive December 18, 2009 at 7:56 pm

[re=482045]Humbleton[/re]: Dude, why are you trying to debate people on a satire site?

In any case, I’ll drop the snark for a special little tête-à-tête with you. You make an insulting assumption about someone you’ve never met by stating that you know how, where, and when I get my news. You want me to take you seriously on a satirical site (note: site that specialized in satire), please do me the courtesy talk to me like an adult instead of like some small child you can smother with condescension. You’ve said nothing here that makes me take you or Paul any more seriously than I did before. And that’s kinda the whole problem with your whole movement, isn’t it. It is impossible to take you seriously. You were built for sites like Wonkette.

Now please, do enjoy your brief little stay at Wonkette. Good day to you, sir.

Humbleton December 18, 2009 at 7:58 pm

[re=482052]Extemporanus[/re]: There is no point in me trying to convince you of anything you’re unwilling to believe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIeW0DY64bE&feature=related

bitchincamaro December 18, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Nigerian Business Executive December 18, 2009 at 8:00 pm

[re=482048]Extemporanus[/re]: NIBUSUTIVEVOL!!!!!! YEAH!!!!! ALSO!!!!!

user-of-owls December 18, 2009 at 8:02 pm

[re=482045]Humbleton[/re]: Hi Humber Humber, can I call you that? Let me just pose a fairly simple question. Let’s imagine your Darwinist utopia was implemented overnight. Everyone is free to do what they wish. All have equal liberty, all have equal opportunity. Just like a 100 yard foot race, right? Except, dear Humber, when the race starts tomorrow, some participants will be standing on the 99 yard line, and others, most of the racers, will start at the -100 yard line. That is liberty. The noble freedom to exploit child labor, to sell poison marketed as health care products, to construct monopolies which allow fellow ‘free’ citizens the choice of either buying clean water from your company or not having clean water. It is, indeed, Humber, the most morally defensible ideology humanity has yet devised. I salute you for your ethical commitment to such lofty principles.

Oh, I forgot. Fuck you.

glamourdammerung December 18, 2009 at 8:04 pm

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: “I’m a bit surprised that so many people here so freely associate a libertarian candidate with racism.”

I am going out on a limg and guessing you are a Libertarian then.

Also, you should capitalise the names of religions.

glamourdammerung December 18, 2009 at 8:06 pm

[re=482054]Humbleton[/re]: What does the link you provided have to do with Rand Paul’s campaign? Or are you acknowledging that the Cult of Paul attracts racist nutters no matter which Paul is running?

Neilist December 18, 2009 at 8:08 pm

[re=482057]user-of-owls[/re]: Owls, Old Boy: When it comes to your “100 yard foot race” thingie, can I sound the starting gun?

I’ve got some “assault rifles” that would be perfect for the job. And a bunch of pre-Ban 30 round mags.

“On your MARK! Get SET! GO! :::BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBAND:::

Hmmm.

Better make that “GONE!,” rather than “GO!”

Humbleton December 18, 2009 at 8:11 pm

[re=482053]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: You call this a satire site, I think its a pretentious method of spewing politically charged news stories that work desperately to discredit any group / person that doesn’t fit your progressive bill. I’ve seen it before, time and again.
I only made a rude response in retaliation to your insulting assumption that I am a racist because I choose to ignore unsubstantiated political attacks that are worthy of a tabloid. Yes, Nigerian Business Executive, even humor can be used to insult. If ever there was an example of “condescension”, it is to be found on this site, under the guise of satire, by many of its subscribers, like you. But then again, that’s kinda the whole problem with your elitist movement.

Come here a minute December 18, 2009 at 8:11 pm

Did Our Barry make a deal at Copenhagen? I won’t know if it’s true unless I read it on the Wonkett.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 8:18 pm

[re=482054]Humbleton[/re]: Right again, Mulder.

I’m unwilling to believe that Ron Paul’s publicly stated views on homosexuality have any relevance to the fact that he published numerous writings that were sympathetic to the white supremacist movement.

thehelveticascenario December 18, 2009 at 8:19 pm

[re=482060]Neilist[/re]: It’s funny, because you shot people, with guns.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 8:19 pm

[re=482054]Humbleton[/re]: [re=482052]Extemporanus[/re]: And…

Everybody knows that it’s now or never
Everybody knows that it’s me or you
And everybody knows that you live forever
Ah, when you’ve done a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old Black Joe’s still pickin’ cotton
For your ribbons and bows
And everybody knows…

glamourdammerung December 18, 2009 at 8:21 pm

[re=482064]Extemporanus[/re]: I am unwilling to believe that Ron Paul’s publicly stated views on homosexuality have any relevance to Rand Paul’s campaign. Or his decision of having a racist spokesman.

I think Humbleton is reaching so hard.

norbizness December 18, 2009 at 8:23 pm

Can Humbleton and Neilist book 2-for-1 tickets on the Go Fuck Yourself spaceplane headed for the heart of the sun?

Humbleton December 18, 2009 at 8:25 pm

[re=482057]user-of-owls[/re]: I appreciate your attempt to engage in philosophical debate. What you have described, however, is a form of anarchy. Even in a libertarian world, your assumption that some individuals will start on the 99 yard line and some on the 100 yard line is correct – that is, of course, if you think with the collectivist mindset to which your brain has been so well-accustomed. Liberty comes from your Creator (if you believe there is one) or simply from your rights as a person being born into this world. In an ideal libertarian world, people are prosperous because there isn’t a massive coercive force (big government) restricting those rights with which you were born (eg; the pursuit of happiness). Note that it is not my right to be endowed with happiness upon birth – but it is my right to seek it to my fullest ability, so long as I don’t intrude on the rights of others. In my world, yes, some people will be better off than others. In your ideal collectivist world, you would love for the government to make everyone equal in wealth, health, and ability. The problem is that your government would have to steal from some people to achieve your goals, and at the end of the day all the people will be equally poor and miserable, while a few government officials are rich and healthy. Talk about inequality. You’d rather stack all your hopes into one massive organization – I’d rather stack my hopes in the unique character of all individuals. Simple difference really, but at least I can appreciate that we’re all striving for the same goal.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 8:27 pm

[re=482056]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: Stop trying to distract everyone with capital letters and excessive punctuation!

Everybody knows that you LOVE the VITU SUB-IN!

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 8:28 pm

[re=482068]norbizness[/re]: THAT’S SPACIST!

ForTheTurnstiles December 18, 2009 at 8:28 pm

[re=482069]Humbleton[/re]:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QDv4sYwjO0

glamourdammerung December 18, 2009 at 8:29 pm

[re=482069]Humbleton[/re]: Do you believe in inheritance?

If the answer is “yes”, you just invalidated your little screed there, instead of just your assuptions about user-of-owls.

ForTheTurnstiles December 18, 2009 at 8:32 pm

You know, if you find this URL

http://www.commanderband.com/

and assume it’s about the hot new buttrock band Commander, from Bowling Green KY (not the cooler Bowling Green in Ohio), you may be surprised at what comes out the other end of the intertubes. Try it. Betty Bowers would approve.

Nigerian Business Executive December 18, 2009 at 8:33 pm

[re=482071]Extemporanus[/re]: You’re confusing me! I only get my daily news from Wonkette so that’s not hard to do. I guess Vitu is in Africa, which is in Spain, right?

thehelveticascenario December 18, 2009 at 8:37 pm

[re=482072]Extemporanus[/re]: Astro-nazis!

Come here a minute December 18, 2009 at 8:45 pm

[re=482057]user-of-owls[/re]: The question is does God believe in me?

engulfedinflames December 18, 2009 at 8:45 pm

[re=482061]Humbleton[/re]: Hey Jack , guess what? I always thought I was just pretty much a regular guy, it took people like you to make me understand how elite I am. Now go away, shoo, git.

Diana Davies December 18, 2009 at 8:49 pm

Hey Chris. Your music sucks.

BlueStateLibtard December 18, 2009 at 8:50 pm

The ugliness of human beings never ends, does it? Perhaps only matched by the cretin’s fat ugly face.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 8:52 pm

[re=482075]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: No, that really is the parent URL of the hot new buttrock band Commander! I only [re=481984]linked to[/re] the entirely plausible other Commander website earlier because Rand’s man’s band’s page (www.commanderband.com/Bio) done got itself all busted for some reason (hmm…)

BUT! There’s a very, very white cached version that dares to go behind the music:

“In early 2005 Commander reconvened and sought out a singer to fully flesh out their sound. Shortly thereafter seasoned veteran Chris Hightower’s powerful, versatile voice and dominating stage presence won him the job as Commander set out to unleash their music to the masses.”/Bio.htm+commander+band&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a”>cached version

UNLEASH CHRIS HIGHTOWER!! HIS FLESHY MASS IS DOMINATING!!1

suths December 18, 2009 at 8:53 pm

humbleton reminds me of a jackass i went to high school with. oh, and i guess another one or two from college who claim “libertarianism” as their official creed so they feel better about their beliefs that not all men are created equal, only rich white guys.
also, i wrote a letter to this asshole commander before asking if rand (since he associated with racists) was a racist too. of course, the only answer i received was that i was making things up.

AnglRdr December 18, 2009 at 8:56 pm

[re=482069]Humbleton[/re]: Paying taxes does not equal government theft.

Please please please please, “libertarians,” give up that canard, because it simply is not true. Taxes are the entry fee for living in civil society.

Bison December 18, 2009 at 9:01 pm

[re=482074]glamourdammerung[/re]: Or, to take the point a step further, is it fair that some babies are born to good parents while others are born to Paultards? Those poor Paultard babies don’t have a hope in hell of competing with the 99-yard babies what with their starting back there on the negative million yard-line. So what we would do in the Libertarian Utopia is to chuck those newborns into some sort of arena, say it’s some sort of roundish enclosure, like maybe a howyousay Thunderdome, and those little runts can just use their cute little uncoordinated arm flailings and random vomit spews to battle for supremacy. If you don’t see the unassailable logic of my proposal then it’s only because you’ve been educated stupid into your current collectivist mindset.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 9:03 pm

[re=482077]thehelveticascenario[/re]: Nationalistic Aryan Space Association!

RAND: When I grow up, I wanna be an assholenaut, just like Daddy!

HUMAN: Pssst…kid! Did you know that all white dwarfs eventually become black dwarfs? Or even…black holes?

RAND: Mommy!

[re=482076]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: From the Wiki linki:

“Wituland (also Witu, Vitu, Witu Protectorate or Swahililand) was an approximately 3000 km² territory in East Africa centered on the town of Witu just inland from Indian Ocean port of Lamu north of the mouth of the Tana River in what is now Kenya.”

DUHN-duhn-DUUUHHHN!

Bison December 18, 2009 at 9:05 pm

[re=482084]AnglRdr[/re]: I find it kind of handy that they always seem to lead with the ‘taxes = theft, point of a gun, mumble mumble mumble’ spiel. Makes it easier to pick them out in case you happen to be upwind of them.

Nigerian Business Executive December 18, 2009 at 9:08 pm

[re=482086]Extemporanus[/re]: See? If you only take the time to explain your little games to me, I finally catch on. You’re saying there’s some sort of conspiracy here and I’m with you 193%! Relovevolution!

Now, Kenya … Kenya. That’s the place Sarah Palin can see from her house, right?

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 9:10 pm

[re=482082]Extemporanus[/re]: Please pardon the Santorum—I have a linky enema.

edgydrifter December 18, 2009 at 9:12 pm

Humbleton clearly has yet to savor the pleasures of eating a lightly salted dick. Here, have a bag, and some Amero-flavored Kool Aid to wash it down.

AnglRdr December 18, 2009 at 9:14 pm

[re=482087]Bison[/re]: Hey, I never thought about it that way. Thanks for the handy tip!

Buttery1000 December 18, 2009 at 9:15 pm

Skoal Rebel should totally jam with these guys.

Jennasaurus Rex December 18, 2009 at 9:16 pm

Ugh. The racism is relatively unsurprising (albeit appalling as fuck), but how many Libertarians are also Satanists? Until today I blissfully assumed that the one “Hail Satan + Ayn Rand 4EVAR!” jackass I knew was an anomaly, but yet again I’ve overestimated humanity. There’s not enough alcohol in the world to cope with this shit.

AnglRdr December 18, 2009 at 9:17 pm

Oh, totes OT, but:

The PRESIDING OFFICER. The Senator’s time has expired.

Mr. DAYTON. I ask for unanimous consent that I have 30 seconds more to finish my remarks.

Mr. McCAIN. I object.

http://cns.miis.edu/cr/021014sd.htm

Neilist December 18, 2009 at 9:19 pm

[re=482065]thehelveticascenario[/re]: It will be a very short race, then. Unless they run very, very fast, that is.

user-of-owls December 18, 2009 at 9:21 pm

[re=482078]Come here a minute[/re]: Thanks. Dingus bird forgot the silent T in Humbert. Or maybe I just repressed my inner French.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 9:23 pm

[re=482089]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: Please accept my Humbleton apologies.

Beyond simply linking to the proof, I should’ve also included the booking confirmation code for a roundtrip plane ticket to Vitu.

Sarah may or may not be a closet racist, but when she heard that Chad was close to Niger, she ordered Bristol to stay as far away from him as possible.

(But Kenya really blame her?)

bago December 18, 2009 at 9:27 pm

Yes, Nigerian Business Executive, even humor can be used to insult.

That’s deep, man.

user-of-owls December 18, 2009 at 9:27 pm

[re=482082]Extemporanus[/re]: [re=482090]Extemporanus[/re]: Personally, I thought Bio.htm+commander+band&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a” was a pretty trenchant observation. Visionary, even. Now, where have I left that close tag…

Nigerian Business Executive December 18, 2009 at 9:33 pm

[re=482102]Extemporanus[/re]: I … I … have been rendered speechless. Uncle!

Nigerian Business Executive December 18, 2009 at 9:34 pm

[re=482103]bago[/re]: Oh hey. I didn’t even realise that guy was still talking to me. Thanks for reading it so I didn’t have to!

Nigerian Business Executive December 18, 2009 at 9:36 pm

[re=482102]Extemporanus[/re]: I mean “green balloons”!

(Damn! I should have said that first. Would have been way funnier.)

user-of-owls December 18, 2009 at 9:38 pm

[re=482102]Extemporanus[/re]: Yeah, well wha ya gonna Ouagadougou?

fishskicanoe December 18, 2009 at 9:39 pm

Oh jeez, anyone who has suffered through objectivist/libertarian dogma sessions knows that their meritocracy crap is just a new way of defending the ideology of the Übermensch. And while Aynnie may nave been a atheist and Rand Paul’s buttbuddy a Satanist, both are products of a basically nihilist philosophy. So, the bedfellowship they share isn’t surprising at all.

the problem child December 18, 2009 at 9:41 pm

Okay, I have libertarian leanings (sex, drugs, death, free speech, whatevs), but Humbert Humbert is leaning on my last nerve and too fuckin’ pedantic for Our Wonkette. So let’s ignore the earnest troll until our socialist overlords bring out the banhammer, ‘kay?

the problem child December 18, 2009 at 9:44 pm

[re=482111]user-of-owls[/re]: Ghana go to bed if the Sudan use of the banhammer don’t take me soon…

Jennasaurus Rex December 18, 2009 at 9:44 pm

[re=482113]the problem child[/re]: I second that.

AnglRdr December 18, 2009 at 9:54 pm

Mr McCain objects.

imissopus December 18, 2009 at 10:00 pm

[re=482045]Humbleton[/re]: Oh, Ron Paul denied knowing anything about the newsletters? Then that settles it! Next issue.

ellie December 18, 2009 at 10:01 pm

Wait a minute! His name is Rand? What a paultard.

mookworthjwilson December 18, 2009 at 10:06 pm

Dude in the back has quite a wide stance…

mookworthjwilson December 18, 2009 at 10:07 pm

[re=482046]Neilist[/re]: Again with the guns…how small exactly is your cock?

El Pinche December 18, 2009 at 10:15 pm

[re=482045]Humbleton[/re]: It’s not the truth until it’s written on Glenn Beck’s chalkboard.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 10:19 pm

[re=482107]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: [re=482110]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: Actually, Tom, “Uncle” was perfect.

[re=482111]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=482114]the problem child[/re]: [re=482115]Jennasaurus Rex[/re]:

May the soothing strains of this traditional African lullaby carry you safe, sound, and swiftly to the Dark Incontinent of your dreams.

Usiku mwema!

glamourdammerung December 18, 2009 at 10:20 pm

[re=482117]imissopus[/re]: I never have figured out how Ron Paul either performing fraud with his newsletter or not being able to manage a newletter is supposed to be a positive endorsement for running the country.

glamourdammerung December 18, 2009 at 10:20 pm

[re=482118]ellie[/re]: It is Randall.

El Pinche December 18, 2009 at 10:23 pm

[re=482119]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Yeah, but I bet he kicks ass on Everquest. He probably made his own levels too.

I don’t get the set. I thought it was an ad for welding equipment. What’s that in the background? parking garage?

Nigerian Business Executive December 18, 2009 at 10:31 pm

[re=482127]Extemporanus[/re]: As usual, you are ten steps ahead of me in wit.

I’m proud to say that even when I was 12 when that song came out, I still thought it was pretty dumb. And now it’ll be stuck in my head for the next week. Thanks a lot.

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2009 at 10:38 pm

We get one of those Humber Humber people on here every Friday night. What’s with Fridays?

mookworthjwilson December 18, 2009 at 10:40 pm

[re=482041]Humbleton[/re]: Oh, he has a black friend…well then it’s completely different! HA

El Pinche December 18, 2009 at 11:00 pm
El Pinche December 18, 2009 at 11:03 pm

[re=482142]El Pinche[/re]: The band members have no name. They’re only referred by the color of their Bone.

Cranky Old Batt December 18, 2009 at 11:05 pm

Now see, these guys (who’s band sucks. You can just tell by looking) could seriously hang with Mr. Pitchfork Michael Richards. Am I right?

I so heart teh blingees. Also.

El Pinche December 18, 2009 at 11:06 pm

[re=482136]mookworthjwilson[/re]: My wingnut dad defends Rush on a daily basis for his pervasive racism. He says that Limball’s production manager is “black.” Michael Steele is RNC chair also!

Nigerian Business Executive December 18, 2009 at 11:16 pm

[re=482142]El Pinche[/re]: Someone said to keep it real? No? So what, who cares!:

http://www.keepingitrealwithmichaelsteele.com/node/409

x111e7thst December 18, 2009 at 11:22 pm

[re=482060]Neilist[/re]: much more sporting to use a bow. Or even an atlatl. It’s not like these fucktards are fast enough to get away.

Extemporanus December 18, 2009 at 11:31 pm

noituLOVEr eVITUcexe sseniSUB-nairegIN: Only two more steps to go! YAY!!

In regards to Dorothy’s dog, I was the exact same age when that song came out, and I remember feeling likewise. Thankfully, there were two 5th grade hotties wooing me with unsolicited Air Supply-backed phone sex that helped take my mind off the rain.

P.S. You appear to have had an emergency replyectomy. Get well soon!

[re=482135]Jukesgrrl[/re]: What’s with Friday’s?

Seriously! They can button as many comments as they want, but they’ll never display our unique sense of flair.

[re=482142]El Pinche[/re]: Man, your video for Mother Love Bone’s “Stardog Champion” is fucking awesome!

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2009 at 11:56 pm

[re=482142]El Pinche[/re]: The guy on the far right is styled as nicely as the pups. Do you think your Blingee will meet his aesthetic requirements? Or his boyfriend’s? Hot dogs all around! Make mine kosher; it’s Hanukkah.

What Fresh Hell is This? December 19, 2009 at 12:02 am

Bastard can’t spell — and has his historical facts entirely wrong. Niger Independence Day is August 3. And in the coup, Ibrahim Baré Maïnassara was not hung, he was shot by soldiers, though his death was officially described as an “unfortunate accident.” I stand on the facts.

gurukalehuru December 19, 2009 at 12:15 am

[re=482068]norbizness[/re]: Neilist did, actually, repudiate Humbleton. He may be an ssshole, but Humbleton is a whole nother level of asshole.

S.Luggo December 19, 2009 at 12:23 am

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: When you sleep with dogs, et cetera [the last two words are a latin contraction for 'then you affirm, swear and agree that you've always wished to belong to the Aryan Nation and desire to have frisky carnal knowledge of yippy tiny poodles']. Asshat.

gurukalehuru December 19, 2009 at 12:30 am

The truly sad aspect of this is that it makes the watermelons on the White House lawn e-mail appear benign.

norbizness December 19, 2009 at 12:34 am

[re=482158]gurukalehuru[/re]: Consider it a lifetime achievement award.

bago December 19, 2009 at 12:35 am

I believe that a snowball fight at the Capitol is in order. Motion to recommit motherfucker!

S.Luggo December 19, 2009 at 1:27 am

[re=481961]Mr Blifil[/re]:
A fair and considered post. Full context? Glenn Beck and his throbbing male menopause encouragement of teabagging. AKA ‘thrust it or rub it‘.
******
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/AP/story/1389325.html
Kentucky’s GOP Senate race roiled over racism charges
Lexington Herald-Leader
FRANKFORT — The Republican U.S. Senate campaign of Rand Paul confirmed Thursday night that its spokesman, Christopher Hightower, resigned after political blogs listed controversial materials related to him.

The blog, Barefoot and Progressive, reported that Hightower had posted on his MySpace page for two years a statement from someone else declaring “Happy N***** Day” near Martin Luther King Day and a photo of a lynching.

[End quote]
***
In the sprit of amity, friendship, goodwill and bipartisanship ga-dunkdunk, we must be honest. It was only for 2 years.

El Pinche December 19, 2009 at 1:32 am

[re=482152]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I’m not sure if it meats their standards. Of course, the dogs represent assfucking, and it is raining hot dogs (cock). I was trying for more Daschunds but Blingee has a shortage of wiener dog stamps…which is Obama’s god damn fault.

memzilla December 19, 2009 at 1:44 am

It looks like Chris Hightower may has took hisself a little side trip to Poland to git some memoramento type thingy:

“Polish police are using a sniffer dog in their search for thieves who took the infamous Arbeit Macht Frei sign over the entrance to Auschwitz” (extra irony points if it’s a German Shepherd).

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8421988.stm

Bless his heart, he just wanted somepin to put over the firepit butween the Kriegsmarine ensign, the Blutfahne, and the Waffen-SS banner, I’m sure.

S.Luggo December 19, 2009 at 1:48 am

[re=482175]El Pinche[/re]: “meats”? PETA wishes to have very serious words with you. Check under your Uggo before you drive tomorrow.

Neilist December 19, 2009 at 1:52 am

[re=482068]norbizness[/re]: Sure thing, Norbiz. After all, you’ll be in the pet carrier in the cargo bay.

Woof!

[re=482158]gurukalehuru[/re]: I resent the comparison. I’m an asshole. But I’m not a BRAINLESS asshole.

[re=482148]x111e7thst[/re]: A bow may be more sporting. But it lacks the Splatter Factor of a 12 gauge. Good lord, have you people no sense of style or artistry? Also, I have a 36″ draw. Those custom-made, overlong shafts used to cost a fortune.

(No, not that kind of “over-long shaft.” Gesh, get your minds out of the gutter.)

Paul Tardy December 19, 2009 at 2:07 am

Well maybe he can make up for it by ending the wars that are actually killing people this century.

Capitol Hillbilly December 19, 2009 at 3:30 am

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: You had me at “his staffer may or may not have been a closet racist?”

I think when you post a picture of a lynching with that cheerful greeting, you are pretty much out of the closet.

Now please go away and jack off to Ayn Rand.

factnorfiction December 19, 2009 at 4:36 am

I want to know specifically what happened in in our evolution as a species that made it possible for four grown men to look like that.

zhubajie December 19, 2009 at 4:55 am

There are lots of Dixie Pixies out there who like to claim that slavery was not so bad, that Jim Crow was not so bad, etc., etc. Racism is the US national sin and none of us are untouched, but some are touched all over, touched in the head, and some of us are not. Or struggle against a racist, jew-hating, upbringing.

Zhu Bajie, liberal son of a hard-core Nazi hater of almost everyone.

Dolmance December 19, 2009 at 6:10 am

Republican rock. I can smell crank & brimstone.

Jennasaurus Rex December 19, 2009 at 7:00 am

[re=482197]factnorfiction[/re]: It is a deep biological mystery. Hopefully they will be unable to find mates and thus natural selection will eventually eliminate the rogue gene (or whatever).

stanpan December 19, 2009 at 7:27 am

I think I saw these guys here: http://www.rockandrollconfidential.com/hall/ Also, the large fella in the small photo appears to be the corpse of Zero Mostel. Leave Zero alone!

zhubajie December 19, 2009 at 8:27 am

[re=481969]Gopherit[/re]: A Texan, running for office in Kentucky??? That’s plenty weird in itself. That he might be jist a skoshi bit racist: not surprising at all!

zhubajie December 19, 2009 at 8:35 am

[re=482027]funkyj[/re]: It wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

loquaciousmusic December 19, 2009 at 8:54 am

[re=482061]Humbleton[/re]: Oh, no! Humbleton just called us PROGRESSIVE! It’s on, baby!

Gumboz1953 December 19, 2009 at 9:03 am

Gawd. Who does their HAIR?

J05H December 19, 2009 at 9:49 am

Paultards are the Furries of politics. They are as Libertarian as Il Duce.

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Thumbcuff December 19, 2009 at 10:30 am

Ron doesn’t scare me half as much as that kid at the back with the bad pants and glasses.

El Pinche December 19, 2009 at 10:38 am

The original name of the band was Cock Commander.

L_Spooner December 19, 2009 at 10:54 am

Using the rules of association is a pretty neat game. Let’s see, anybody who proudly associates with the US government is a murdering thief. I guess your also racist since you support a commander in chief who seems to have a problem with the indigenous people of Afghanistan.

glamourdammerung December 19, 2009 at 11:04 am

[re=482250]L_Spooner[/re]: Yet I bet you are willing to ignore Ron Paul’s longtime association with Willis “The Holocaust Did Not Happen” Carto, or the former White Citizens’ Council, or any of the many other nutter racist groups he pals around with while spouting that line of nonsense.

Also, it is “you’re racist” to describe someone that is racist. “Your racist” would be a racist you owned.

dr.giraud December 19, 2009 at 11:12 am

[re=482219]loquaciousmusic[/re]: He doesn’t know a warblog when he visits one.

RoscoePColtraine December 19, 2009 at 11:30 am

Racist and talentless musician leaving a legacy of shitty music? Which is the primary reason we need to hate this guy, and which is incidental?

gjdodger December 19, 2009 at 11:36 am

[re=482246]El Pinche[/re]: I thought it was Commander Cock and the Lost Penis Hairmen.
There, italics closed. It’s not so hard.

Dashboard_Buddha December 19, 2009 at 11:41 am

[re=482102]Extemporanus[/re]: ouch ouch ouch…wonderful, but ouch!

L_Spooner December 19, 2009 at 11:41 am

oh wait, the Commander in Chief is also a Nazi. He believes in Keynesianism. How does this correlate you ask. It’s simple really. In Keynes German edition of General Theory of Money he wrote a special introduction saying Mein Fuhrers totalitarian regime was ideal for implementing his brilliant ideas. That clever bastard tried to cover his tracks, but he has been exposed now.

Dashboard_Buddha December 19, 2009 at 11:48 am

[re=482127]Extemporanus[/re]: I got it! The crime was committed by a left handed negro with a spear in the library. I LOVE Clue!

Darkness December 19, 2009 at 11:53 am

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: The basic tenets of libertarianism also call for digging holes to deposit your own excrement and drinking rain water. So, just what percent these guys “oh so true to their tenet” libertarians eschew their city water, sewer, regulated monopoly power supplies and refuse to drive on public roads? When they actually bother to act on at least some handful of their “tenets” I’ll deign to consider that their not just spoiled children who collect guns to shoot brown people.

Dashboard_Buddha December 19, 2009 at 11:56 am

[re=482177]memzilla[/re]: I’m ripping this off from a friend of mine…but maybe the sign was stolen for the decor at the new TGIAuschwitz.

Darkness December 19, 2009 at 11:58 am

[re=482028]user-of-owls[/re]: Heh, I too gave Extemporanus the benefit of the doubt on that one. Self, I sighed: “Oh yet another reference I don’t get . . .”

Nigerian Business Executive December 19, 2009 at 12:06 pm

[re=482269]Darkness[/re]: Don’t feel bad. Although I just assumed it was a typo, I’m usually very far behind when it comes to comprehending his references, as is clearly demonstrated in the thread above. He blesses the rains down in Africa.

Crow T. Robot December 19, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Classy.

Darkness December 19, 2009 at 12:10 pm

[re=482069]Humbleton[/re]: Yeah, I hate it when the government steals money from the rich to prevent cholera outbreaks and protect watersheds for large population centers and to educate a quality workforce for their slave labor operations. Cholera and poisoned water so doesn’t care what yard line you are standing on, talk about equality! You guys are very useful, I have to say. The left has done a craptastic job of pointing out the obvious public good that only government has any incentive to address. So, please. More tantrums and stamping of feet couched in fantasy, un-implementable language even Marx would blush to hear.

L_Spooner December 19, 2009 at 12:14 pm

[re=482265]Darkness[/re]: Are you saying the U.S. military are spoiled children?

problemwithcaring December 19, 2009 at 12:27 pm

[re=482250]LaRoche_Spooner[/re]: Some people find lynching pictures hilarious. I don’t understand it any more than I understand the obsession with incessantly posting simplistic murder fantasies on a humor blog, but hey – to each micro-dick his own.

That said: no one who has lived in America for 30+ years could possibly believe it was OK to tacitly dismiss Martin Luther King as a nigger or that such views have any place in mainstream American politics. Paultards: nice try at defending this turd, but save your tortured logic for when you have to start defending ya boy’s nonsensical foreign and economic policies.

JMP December 19, 2009 at 12:37 pm

[re=481978]glamourdammerung[/re]: “when they put out the Paulsign or whatever the fuck they do to signal a flock to a forum to annoy the decent folk.”

Heh; this was immediately followed by Humbleton’s first post. Prescient. It doesn’t matter how indefensible or ridiculous their idols get, the Randian cultists will rush to defend them.

[re=482262]L_Spooner[/re]: At least Humbleton’s defenses, while completely out of touch with reality, were internally consistent. You’re not even making any sense.

L_Spooner December 19, 2009 at 12:43 pm

[re=482281]JMP[/re]: I thought that was the point on this blog.

user-of-owls December 19, 2009 at 12:47 pm

[re=482284]L_Spooner[/re]: BZZEWW

Nigerian Business Executive December 19, 2009 at 12:58 pm

[re=482284]L_Spooner[/re]: Touché! (That’s French.) We can all go home now.

L_Spooner December 19, 2009 at 12:59 pm

[re=482278]problemwithcaring[/re]: rollin down rodeo with a shotgun, these people aint seen a brown skinned man, since their grandparents bought one

glamourdammerung December 19, 2009 at 1:24 pm

[re=482262]L_Spooner[/re]: You are being a pretty good argument for hoping the government starts regulating quality control for meth.

L_Spooner December 19, 2009 at 1:46 pm

[re=482291]glamourdammerung[/re]: this stuff is fire man, straight from the toilets

glamourdammerung December 19, 2009 at 1:49 pm

[re=482297]L_Spooner[/re]: And here I thought the Paultard/neo-nazi crowd tended to get arrested for “loitering” around the male bathrooms at highway rest areas (ignoring the humor of fact that their cock-suckery is being aided by taxpayer funded facilities).

lawrenceofthedesert December 19, 2009 at 2:00 pm

Humbleton and Neilist have rained on what is usually a glorious parade. Sigh. At a time in my youth (mammals were just coming into vogue), Libertarians were delightfully outside the political box, neither as right-wing as Freedom, Inc. wanted them to be nor as liberal as the Justice Black “no limits on the First Amendment” crowd would have preferred. A few such Libertarians remain, but the party has been heavily polluted by some of the worst political garbage of the ultra-right. Ron and Rand Paul are among the garbage.

glamourdammerung December 19, 2009 at 2:07 pm

[re=482299]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: I went to a Libertarian national convention way back to see what it was about. It was memorable as the first place I ever had really, really creepy men hit on me and the first (and so far only) time I have ever had people try to recruit me for “white’s rights” groups.

Good times.

user-of-owls December 19, 2009 at 2:09 pm

[re=482297]L_Spooner[/re]: BZZEWW

Nigerian Business Executive December 19, 2009 at 2:11 pm

[re=482297]L_Spooner[/re]: Touché! (That’s French.) We can all go home now.

gurukalehuru December 19, 2009 at 2:13 pm

[re=482297]L_Spooner[/re]: It’s a thin line between funny and stupid.

DC Hates Me December 19, 2009 at 2:54 pm

The kid on the right looks like an angry young Liza Minelli. Mmm … death metal show-tunes.

Neilist December 19, 2009 at 3:18 pm

[re=482299]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: “Humbleton and Neilist have rained on what is usually a glorious parade.”

“Rained on”? Dear sir, if by “rain” you refer to the flecks of spittle coming from the gapping mouths of your (typically outraged) Lie-BURAL breathern in here, I can assure you that said moisture usually is not consider precipitation.

Even when generated by Humbleton — whose views are, on balance, about as intellectual rigorous, and factually supported, as most in here.

[re=482120]mookworthjwilson[/re]: “How small is my cock”? Well, I hate brag. Let’s just say that no one has ever accused me of “going off half-cocked.”

:::Blushing manfully, while adjusting his Pants Python::::

But enough about me. Can we get back to the Really Significant, Intellectually Compelling, Socially Significant Issue that started this post: “Is Posting Pictures Of Lynched African-Americans BAD?”

(I know some of you are still struggling with this one. That explains the number of comments.)

tiger December 19, 2009 at 3:24 pm

“and everyone would be poor”. Um, not quite.

tiger December 19, 2009 at 3:25 pm

The one on the far right is WAY cute. And that’s what they’ll say in prison.

user-of-owls December 19, 2009 at 3:31 pm

[re=482310]DC Hates Me[/re]: Good one, but for me, he looks like the poster child for a Ritalin abuse prevention campaign.

And second from left strikes me as a counterfactual history exercise that poses the question, “What would Peter Frampton look like if he took part in the Bataan Death March?”

Still working on the other two.

tiger December 19, 2009 at 3:47 pm

Eeeew. You got me with just the mention of …Frampton!

Capitol Hillbilly December 19, 2009 at 4:15 pm

[re=482320]tiger[/re]: [re=482316]user-of-owls[/re]: Well, Peter Frampton was in Humble Pie which was a thousand times cooler than anything these guys will ever do.

user-of-owls December 19, 2009 at 4:28 pm

[re=482323]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Was that before or after he CAME ALIVE!?

Oh, and I figured out who second from right is: The Comics Curmudgeon’s stupider, angrier and uglier older brother. Aka, The Death Metal Curmudgeon.

ForTheTurnstiles December 19, 2009 at 4:30 pm

[re=482323]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: [re=482326]user-of-owls[/re]:

um Dinosaur Jr ripped the shit out of “Show Me the Way,” proving that Frampton must have done something right. Then again Dino could make shampoo ingredients sound cool

Mr Blifil December 19, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=482172]S.Luggo[/re]: I just want to make sure our debate does not have a chilling effect on the future use of images of hung lynching victims in order to make fun of minorities.

Darkness December 19, 2009 at 7:19 pm

[re=482276]L_Spooner[/re]: Um, clean your glasses maybe and read it again. Or not. Suspend upon water your own buoyant vehicle.

Advocatus_Diaboli December 19, 2009 at 7:35 pm

[re=482356]Mr Blifil[/re]: Thanks for the link and quote. This post was way to long to follow and there was no way in hell I was going to click on a link associated with that photo.
The fact that a sentence could contain the words “Rand Paul” and “senate” and still have an ounce of seriousness makes me want to drink poison.

El Pinche December 19, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Oh hell to the no December 20, 2009 at 3:43 am

[re=482045]Humbleton[/re]: I guess if your only source of news every single day is Wonkette RonPaul.com, then I could understand why your opinion is so warped. Everyone knows about the ‘Ron Paul’ newsletters. Everyone knows that Ron Paul has repeatedly denied writing them or even knowing of their existence. And that this is a damn lie.

FTFY

Also, as a black person, I have met many black people at the meetings that we black people often have (where we often discuss crazy white people) and elsewhere and I have not met a black Ron Paul supporter. At least not one on his meds. I have met black Republicans (you know, the type who’d like to kick it with Steele) but not black Paultards. Even Alan Keyes doesn’t even like Paultards.

Oh hell to the no December 20, 2009 at 3:44 am

Wonkette should’ve been crossed out.

Oh hell to the no December 20, 2009 at 3:52 am

Also, to be fair to Humbleton. I read Wonkette every day and know that it is a satirical site but for the past two years, I’ve slowly lost the ability to discern the difference between satire and actual news about the GOP and Paultards and whatnot. So, really, it’s not that hard for someone to be super confused.

Extemporanus December 20, 2009 at 5:27 am

[re=482400]El Pinche[/re]: Thank you for making my [re=481972]PROTIP[/re] a reality.

jacklang0002 December 20, 2009 at 9:19 am

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El Pinche December 20, 2009 at 9:55 am

[re=482503]Extemporanus[/re]: I am very happy to complete you. …. abstractly not handjobly.

viviangrrrl December 20, 2009 at 2:14 pm

[re=481958]Snarkalicious[/re]: It’s because they’ve all got the wide stance going – it makes their lower halves look proportionately shorter than their top halves. They’ve gotta keep in top form for the winter travel rush, you know?

AuBricker@MSN.com December 20, 2009 at 7:54 pm

As for the libertarians, be they racist or otherwise, I would rather pay taxes and endure some measure of government regulation than return to the good old days of dirt streets, no internet, no public water and sewers, child labor, no public police, lack of safe industrial standards, no standard currency, free education, and all the discomforts that come with ditching big government.

When I served in the military, I once visited Somalia. I suggest all libertarians and anarchists relocate there. No government would hinder their private pursuits at all and the taxes are very low — non-existent, you could say. And you would love the lack of gun control laws.

Potater December 21, 2009 at 2:06 am

[re=481980]Humbleton[/re]: Which is why there are so many Black Muslim female libertarians.

kentuckienne2 December 21, 2009 at 9:27 am

Thanks, Rand Paul and Chris Hightower, for reminding me why I left Kentucky. Now get yourself the hell out and leave my nice liberal mama alone. I hear Idaho likes racist fucktards.

d4g33z December 21, 2009 at 1:23 pm

All well and good, but I have a bad feeling the “Barefoot and Progressive” person is just as loathsome as Mr. Hightower. But I’m fairly loathsome too, so what do I know? Maybe I should get a “webpage” and advertise it to the world!

rmjag May 22, 2010 at 3:18 pm

[re=482012]Dear Diorama[/re]: the illuminati IS the federal reserve . done in a brilliant , bold and wtf move that no one saw coming ….

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